Do you EVER get over the need to put on makeup and fix the doo when...

[Hibernias Daughter]

going somewhere, even just the grocery store? This may be more of a woman thing, but I've included men since my ex used to primp longer then me, and my daughter has a male roommate who fights her for the bathroom constantly.

I'm 41 and thought by now I wouldn't care. But I'm still trying to recover after seeing an old HS acquaintance while in polyester pants and "comfortable shoes"... one of the few times I went out in middle-aged-mother-gear. I had on no makeup and my hair was a mess. I had decided that I needed a little more "me" time but the only way to do that was to throw out my 45 minute "beauty" regime when I could. It was on my 4rth attempt at being "me", that this assailant, looking beautiful came along.

Affable as always, she just HAD to stop. No short quip for her; we had to have a long drawn out chat in which I had time to see how nicely she was dressed, the lack of greys in her hair, and how younger her skin looked. Meanwhile, I was extremely embarrassed. I have alot in my professional life to be proud of, but I was driven to mouse hood by my stupid appearance. :wtf:

Why do I care? What drives me? What drives most of us to "look our best" at all times? Why should we care and what is the secret of those who don't, yet are totally self-confident? I want to be more like them!

Are you self confident and happy no matter what your appearance? And if so, what makes you that way? :shrug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Hibernias Daughter........

What an interesting question!

I always put on my lipstick and comb my hair before going out......

And I don't have or wear any old things just to run around in..........

I like me just the way I am, I guess......

I've never had the show-stopping good looks that some folks have...

So, I mostly don't worry about how I look.

I'm not sure this is going to be helpful, though, to you.....Sorry....

:hug:

[Hibernias Daughter]

5. Thanks Peggy

It just occurred to me though that many folks here must think I'm vain, and I sound it.

But they might not understand small town scrutiny. When everyone sees you looking one way, it's hard to change without gossip as to why. I suppose I shouldn't care, but it's hard not to. These people are who I see day-in and out. All 800 of them.

I think I can understand why others may not get this... Unlike many in my area, I have had the chance to travel. The feeling of anonymity in big cities was SO wonderful. I could have dressed up like a clown with little or no scrutiny. No makeup and messed up hair would have been fine too. I will never see those people again. Here, I have to face the same folks every day.

Thank You though... your hug helped! :hug:

[lukasahero]

2. I never had the need to get over

It doesn't even take me 45 minutes to get ready for work in the morning (shower included).

I never did the hair and make-up thing so I have no panacea to offer you - it's just not in me. Do I always look "my best"? Probably not. But I have always gone more for the natural look myself so it's easier.

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Beauty comes from the heart and I'm sure you have loads of beauty there. And I'm also sure you're far more beautiful on the outside than you realize - you just need to change your criteria. ;)

[Hibernias Daughter]

6. OMG

That was so sweet! I have tears in my eyes... really. Thank You :hug:

[Redstone]

3. Afraid I don't. You're talking to a guy who washes his hair with soap, here.

Never have used so much as a conditioner, much less a mousse or for God's sake aftershave or cologne.

Redstone

[Hibernias Daughter]

8. Oh is that what I smell?

LOL! :bounce:

I'm sure you don't need those things anyway. Mrs Redstone would say something otherwise I'm sure! :hi:

[Redstone]

9. No, I DO use deodorant. Just not cologne and that crap.

Redstone

[Hibernias Daughter]

18. I'm sorry

I didn't mean to be rude. I was trying to joke with you, but I guess it didn't sound the way I had meant. I never once thought you didn't use deo... nevermind, I'm sorry. :blush:

[Redstone]

25. I knew what you meant. It's okay, really. It's damn hard to offend me, because I have the Irish side

that's used to family gatherings where the major sport is showing each other up.

I did not feel offended or consider you rude at all. I kinda liked it.

Redstone

[reyd reid reed]

4. Most of the time I don't.

If I'm just going to run errands...to the bank or the grocery store or the post office or whatever, I just drag a brush through my hair, stuff my little tootsies into a pair of slippers and go.

Most of the time I'm okay with it and the kids are used to it by now.

:shrug:

[Hibernias Daughter]

10. But you said kids (plural)

Mothers of small children are allowed to look harried. In fact you are supposed too, I think :shrug:

LOL! Thanks for trying to cheer me up!

[Redstone]

11. Yeah, but you don't need that stuff because you hot.

Redstone

[reyd reid reed]

23. YOU, darlin',

just became one of my favorite people. Well, you already were, but...

:loveya:

[Redstone]

24. Truth.

Redstone

[reyd reid reed]

22. Heh...

might even be a good excuse if they were all still little. My youngest is 10.

And I still go to all of their schools...even my high school senior's school...in my slippers. I don't Intend to...it's just that when they were all little I was lucky to get them all dressed, washed, combed, shod and in the car without (much) incident -- I'd often forget my own shoes.

Until I got out of the car. The experience has taught me, among other things (like how to buckle three kids under the age of two -- I did daycare for a long time because putting my kids into daycare was prohibitively expensive. Plus I like kids -- into car seats and load a cart of groceries into the car in about 90 seconds), that it isn't the end of the world. In fact, most people don't even notice my footwear. Or lack thereof.

And, even if they do notice, they're too polite to actually say anything.

Either that or I've just rendered them speechless. It's a pretty frightening sight.

[Hibernias Daughter]

36. Well I'm in awe!

Daycare is expensive for a reason... it's hard, stressfull work. Yet the workers still don't get paid their worth. My hat is off to anyone who is willing to take it on!

As far as footwear, I have kind of made peace with that... Last year I was given a nice pair of moccasins. They served as my slippers, until I discovered that they were not as noticeable as real slippers so I've been wearing them around. Aaaaaah! When the snow gets too high, I guess I'll put em away for awhile. :-(

[MonkeyFunk]

7. Nah...

I leave my "doo" alone.

I just comb my hair :P

[Hibernias Daughter]

12. Oh my!

I guess I better not ask what the doo is! ;-)

[Samurai_Writer]

13. I think it just depends on the person

I modeled for over 10 years in fashion runway and as a plus size runway and photography model. I am the type that HATES wearing makeup or doing anything other than brushing my hair. I consider putting on makeup and fixing hair to be 'work', because it was for me for so many years.

Now, I'm from the south, and many women down there just WILL NOT go out of the house without their hair and makeup perfect. I think it's a cultural thing. Since I've moved to Colorado, I've noticed that women here are much more relaxed and natural in their look. If they wear makeup, it's minimal.

I say, do whatever makes YOU feel good. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If you feel good in makeup and a 'do, go for it. If you feel good in no makeup and your hair in a ponytail, that's cool, too.

I will dress up and wear makeup, etc. when I am going out somewhere special. And those times, I enjoy it. Because it's a rare treat for me, not something I think I 'should' do on a regular basis.

[Hibernias Daughter]

16. Your way makes sense

and I know that cognitively, however in my case makeup and hair is like clothing. I feel naked without it... but as I mentioned in another post, I don't feel that way in big cities. Alot of it has to do with my surrounding... very small town.

Whatever the reason, thanks for taking the time for this. :hi:

[caty]

14. It's called self respect.

[crim son]

15. I will never go out of the house with greasy hair

or wearing sweatpants. Otherwise I don't care. As my friends from away say, "Here in Maine, if you've got all your teeth, you're good to go!"

[Redstone]

26. Yes, there are standards. I won't leave the house without wearing a dress shirt;

I'll wear a polo shirt around the house but never in public.

We all have our individual standards.

Redstone

[crim son]

27. Really, a dress shirt?

To my mind, that's like never leaving the house without wearing stockings. And while I love to dress myself up, most men don't. You're an elegant sonofagun, Redstone.

[Redstone]

29. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, a dress shirt, and a suit jacket (or Navy Blazer)

if it's not too hot.

I have, however, loosened up the requirement for a tie in the last few years.

In case you're wondering, these are strictures that I implemented when I started my business with the office in the house. If you get too slack when you do that, you end up finding yourself in the office, working dressed in a jockstrap and a feather. And that's not too professional.

Redstone

[crim son]

30. Maybe not professional,

but with a certain jaunty style, lol.

[Redstone]

31. Yeah, it would be jaunty, but I have the long hair to counteract. It DOES impress

people when I walk into a room for a meeting, no matter their corporate / casual dress code, in a black suit, a white shirt, and a black tie.

Kind of stuns them into submission, what with me being siz-foot-four.

Redstone

[crim son]

32. My tall friend,

the style I was referring to was the jockstrap and feather. There is no question you're impressive as hell when you're suited up. No question at all.

[Redstone]

33. Hey, the jockstrap and feather is pretty impressive as well. But just not for

public consumption. You should see the feathers I have in my collection!

Redstone

[crim son]

34. You have feathers?

I won't ask :)

[Redstone]

38. No, not mine, myself. Collected ones, from birds.

Redstone

[crim son]

39. This is a fine example of the sort of miscommunication

that can occur when people are not speaking face to face. I didn't imagine you had feathers, at least not growing from your body! However the mental image has suddenly surfaced and I think it'll be with me for some time :rofl: :hug:

[Redstone]

41. If I wasn't so tired, I'd fire up Photoshop and give you what you want.

I know for sure I could produce a "feathered Redstone" in half an hour, but I'd have to go to the other computer to do it, and I'm just too tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Redstone

[crim son]

43. That would make a wonderful Christmas present

and you have to know the entire Lounge would love you for it. I may have to remind you of this conversation on another day when you have more energy!

[Redstone]

45. You're welcome to do that reminding. Maybe toward the end of the week.

Redstone

[crim son]

53. I will, Redstone.

I already bookmarked this thread to remind me!

[Pierre.Suave]

17. It never fails...

When I look my worst, I meet the cutest and most interesting girls...

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. Seems when I don't put on makeup, and just run a brush through my hair

I ALWAYS run into a man that is attractive while out running errands... damn!

[Hibernias Daughter]

20. LOL!

I know what you mean! :-)

[Mr. Blonde]

21. I rarely have the need to begin with

Even when I go to the bar with my friends I don't dress up that much. I always think what is the point in getting to know me if it isn't the real me? And being dressed up certainly isn't the real me.

[Nicole]

28. I didn't need to get over because I never did it much

I've always preferred a more natural look. I've never worn foundation or base or whatever it's called. Just some blush & lip gloss gets me out the door. I do wear mascara & eye shadow when I want to dress up which is not often.

I have long, straight hair that only needs brushing before I go out. If I'm getting dressed up then I will roll or style it.

I think my secret to being comfortable and self-confident that way is old habits. I grew up in the late 60's - early 70's when the natural look was in. I still make up my face that way, I just added moisturizer to my daily routine.

[Redstone]

37. Same as Mrs R. Though she does look terrific with bright-red lipsticfk.

Redstone

[Nicole]

40. Yes she does

I've seen Mrs. R's pic with the bright-red lipstick, she looks great wearing it.

[Redstone]

42. This one?

Or was it this one?




Redstone

[Nicole]

44. The last one

I think I remember the red lipstick in last one more because it stands out in contrast to the black.

Mrs. R looks gorgeous in both pics. :)

[Redstone]

46. That she is, indeed. I remind myself that I'm a lucky son of a bitch every day. Not just because

of the looks, but because of the loyalty and the putting up with my physical problems, and the cooking...Oh, the cooking.

And she DOES enjoy reading compliments from female DUers. She enjoys that a lot.

Redstone

[Nicole]

50. She is a lucky as well

I've read several of your posts about her. In good times and bad you spoke highly of her.

That speaks highly of you.:)

[Redstone]

52. Yes, we're one. Or we can be three, because she's bisexual. But love

expands, doesn't it?

Redstone

[Nicole]

54. Yes, it does expand

If you are fortunate enough.

I'm the opposite of that right now myself. I don't want even one love in my life for the time being.

[Redstone]

55. Go with your feelings. If you need to be alone, by all means do so

until you're ready to open up to the world.

Many of us know the value of taking "time off."

It does work.

Redstone

[Nicole]

56. Thanks for that

Most people insist I have to "get right back on that horse".

I've learned a lot about myself during my alone time. I think that will serve me well in future choices I make.

Thanks again. :hug:

[Redstone]

57. I'll always be here for you via PM. Don't be afraid to use it.

Redstone

[u4ic]

35. You know when you go without

is the day some catastrophe will happen at the grocery store, or at the bank, and you'll be interviewed on national tv. :P

If I feel like it, I do. If I don't, I don't. If you don't like, don't look. I do feel more confident with a bit of makeup on, but I don't get dolled up to run errands, that's for sure. I don't know many who do.

[Ava]

47. well i rarely wear makeup

and since i have curly i hair i just run my fingers through it and go... i'm a girly girl, but not when it comes to playing dress up on a daily basis

[bertha katzenengel]

48. I am self-confident and happy no matter what. My secret?

I don't care what anyone else thinks. Maybe it's easier for me since my hair is almost butch-short and I've never worn makeup. My sister does the face no matter what, and I don't know why. My other sister has colored her hair for so long that I don't even remember what her natural color is.

But I doubt very much that caring what others think is why you get all dolled up. More power to ya there, too, since you have the energy to doll up. I just wish that you hadn't been so uneasy when you saw that woman.

But I'll tell you this: it took me almost two decades and a very, very long process to feel secure no matter what I wear, no matter where I go.

I wish for you peace with how you look and feel. :hug:

[Book Lover]

49. Yes, I am self-confident no matter what I look like

What made me that way? Feminism, taken in with my mother's milk. Who cares if you measure up to someone else's yardstick of femininity? What are they going to do, fire you? Refuse to sell you groceries? Beat your children in school?

Small town living must be awful, if this is the kind of pressure you face. Thank my lack of god I grew up in NYC.

[BarenakedLady]

51. Self confident and happy?

you must be joking. :rofl: I rarely wear makeup and when I do, I feel like a freakin' clown. No one looks twice at me anyway. No really, they don't, believe me. I don't live where I grew up so I don't have that "running into HS acquaintances" thing to worry about here. I've become one of those invisible middle-aged moms of suburbia, easy to miss. We all look alike.

But what I've learned is that even those who we perceive as "put together" and self-confident, probably really are not inside. We all have our own issues that are not apparent to the outside world. If you saw me at the grocery store, perhaps you would never guess the internal struggles going on inside.

[astral]

58. I put makeup on every day

Just blush and mascara. Even if I don't think I'm going anywhere in particular when I leave the house. It makes me feel I look at least as attractive as God meant me to look whereas I feel quite ugly if I don't do it. And you know, if you're looking good you're feeling more confident than when you're looking kinda raggy. You know sometimes with the danged women's cycles and stuff (40-something cycles), I really look more tired and dragged out than I feel (or about the same as I feel!) and makeup can't hide that but it can help a LITTLE.

I still have good hair / bad hair days, and I don't worry about whether I'm wearing jeans or a skirt to the grocery store, but am short on comfortable sweatpants anyway and I kinda don't think I'd run around in sweats unless it's to take a nice hike and I'm going to the store on my way home from the hike or something.

I used to feel the same way here (KINDA small town) that if you change the way you appear people will all look askance at you.

They will! So what?

It's okay to wanna primp up before going out the door, either a little or a lot, depending on your mood. I think guys really like it even tho' they profess they prefer "natural," they only MEAN that when it's a gal who's drop - dead gorgeous whether she's primped up or not.

[Beausoir]

59. I was just let in on a little soccer-mom secret.....

When they wear baseball hats...it means they have not washed their hair. Seriously...I just heard that from one soccer mom and I about puked. One wealthy, youngish woman told me she only showers every 4 days. I hate to be a snob...but jeebus...is it that much trouble to run your body under some running water?

I am an absolute freak about leaving the house only when I am completely clean. I think I have a compulsion about it. Really. It's silly.

I must shower, fix my hair and do my makeup every single day..and I am just a stay at home mom.

The thought of leaving the house without being clean just drives me crazy. It's not about seeing other people..it's about how I feel.

Too bad my 10 year old boy does not hold to my ridiculous views about cleanliness. (Hee. Boys are fun)
I hope, that as I get older, I will not focus so much on this silliness.

[LeftyMom]

60. makeup? I don't even own any. I don't style my hair, unless straight or pulled back counts.

Anybody who is going to judge you based on how you look is an ass. Just keep yourself somewhat tidy and your clothes in decent repair and that's all that's important, really.