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I shall first answer the Question That's Been on Everybody's Lips: six assholes, three motherfuckers, two cocksuckers. And one threat of legal action for false advertising.
Today, my store opened at 6am. I got there at 4am to get ready. I wore a tie to work today because I figured people would be less likely to call someone wearing a tie a motherfucker. (It worked, too. Poor old Anthony, head of Electrical, started getting called a cocksucker for running out of LCD televisions five minutes after the building opened and I'm fairly sure they're still at it. He didn't have a tie. Ties are good.) Pack a quick lunch and head out of the house at 3:40. I got to the store at 3:50 and there were fifty people waiting in line in front of the door.
At 4:20 the store manager showed up to unlock the door. Aargh.
By 5:00 I had all the things I wanted to drop out of the overheads on the floor, and my reach truck and I were in other departments dropping things for them.
The store opened at 6:00. One hundred people came through the door. I had 65 Gorilla ladders, 95 6-foot fiberglass stepladders, twelve LCD televisions (yes, we got some on Wednesday night--not as many as we should have had, but enough for a Black Friday teaser sale), 100 wet/dry vacuums...quite a bit of stuff, really.
At 6:03 we were out of televisions.
At 6:30 we were out of vacuums.
And at 7:30 we were so deep into the ladders, not only had the ladders that were on sale been scarfed up but so had the three skids of regular-price ladders I had sitting there just in case.
At 8am the screaming started because people had waited All Year Long to get one of these ladders after I ran out at 5:01am last year, and now we were out and they didn't know what to do. ("Save up forty more dollars and come in any other day of the year" never occurs to any of them. This is a REGULAR STOCK ITEM we're talking about, folks. I have these ladders all the time, but normally they're a hundred bucks. And normally, on most days, I keep about three skids of these things--eight on a skid--in backstock.)
But other than that, and a "personnel issue" I don't want to regale you with because doing so may interfere with my attempt to cause him great mental anguish come Monday morning, it was okay.
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