After 12 years, my fundie brother, 3X a week to church, dimson lover,.

[babylonsister]

ATV and I'm sure NASCAR lover, left his wife while she was on her back fighting pnemonia.
What kind of man does that? And this would be the second time. And he is not a 'player'. He's a fat, diabetic, delusional mid-life guy.
This is the guy I haven't spoken to in over a year, he's 54? years old, we don't agree politically (that's why we don't talk), he spoke to another b-i-l recently and lamented why liberals are ruining the world.
Mid-life crisis or just fucked up in general?
Opinions welcome!

[Viva_La_Revolution]

1. his world is crashing in around him

have a little pity.


:evilgrin:

[liberaldemocrat7]

23. He left his wife a second time and he blames liberals for the ruiNATION?

I see a lot of blame shifting here.

The Republican party has destroyed more marriages with their economic policies and their authoritarian social engineering policies than any other trumped up reasons they bring up at election campaigns.

[Blackthorn]

2. Newt? Is that you?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. Fucked up in general.

As for the ATV thing, I'm an ATV lover and so are some other liberals I know.

:shrug:

[babylonsister]

10. I think he's left because he had to 'go home' to the wife, but

don't know that for sure. He'd drive for hours at every opportunity to go ATVing, and this is after having back surgery. He is addicted, unless he found a honey who is like-minded. :shrug:

[leesa]

27. You need to talk to your buddies then. Every ATV truck I see has a

'ORVers for Bush' sticker on. And THEY are the ones who haven't taken them off yet!

[stopbush]

4. Do him a favor and give him a copy of Richard Dawkins new book

"The God Delusion" for Xmas. It could give him a chance at a new start.

[babylonsister]

17. We haven't talked in a year and now he doesn't have an address, so

that's not an option, but thanks.

[villager]

5. you kind of have to be delusional to be a Republican and a fundie

He has no "there" there except his delusions...

[Straight Shooter]

6. "What kind of man does that?"

That is not a man. It's a spoiled brat. :(

[babylonsister]

18. I wonder. I'm not and we grew up together. He's also a retired vet.

:shrug:

[semillama]

28. What kind of man does that, indeed.

[badgerpup]

7. Sounds like he might have some control issues...

...suddenly the 'Big Sticks' that give him the illusion of being in control...or at least a member of the gang in control... don't work anymore and as was mentioned above...world comes crashing down.

He's badly frightened, though he won't cop to it.
He's got to blame someone, and it doesn't sound as though dealing with changes or taking responsibilty for his own actions is in his repertoire.

Leaving his wife while she was sick with pneumonia was just...:grr:

She's not going to take him back, is she? Does she have options?

[babylonsister]

8. I don't think so. I don't know what's going on as I'm getting info

2nd hand. It's just sad and maddening. Sad for my s-i-l, and my brother never ceases to disappoint.
I meant this is the second family he's managed to screw up, not just this one.
And my 78-yr old dad doesn't know if he can find forgiveness in his heart to ever talk to his son again. That's sad. He told me he might suffer for that more than my brother, but he is angry.

[badgerpup]

12. Can't say as I blame him...

I'm sorry for the hurt that you and the rest of your family are experiencing. :hug:
From what you say "...my brother never ceases to disappoint." this has been his pattern throughout his life...the facade, but no real moral fiber behind it.

It sounds as though it's not just your dad who is angry...and you are more angry on behalf of your dad's disappointment and disillusionment.

Feel free to tell me to go to hell...:hi:

[babylonsister]

19. Thanks, badgerpup, my whole family, while not close, are gossips!

When someone gets cut, we all feel it. My brother knows that. He refuses to talk to Dad because he knows he's a big fat disappointment. Sigh. And my s-i-l suffers.

[Ken Burch]

9. What a completely unexpected plot twist...

:eyes:

(btw...what'a a "dimson lover"?)

[babylonsister]

13. Wow. You don't know by now?

Quit screwing up your eyes, or right back atcha.
Dim son = who is the first person you think of?:eyes: :D
He is or was a thumping, dim son loving ass who I haven't spoken to in
a year because our politics are so at odds.

[Ken Burch]

22. Oh...Dim son=Dubya...got it now...

I thought you meant he liked those Chinese dumpling restaurants.

[babylonsister]

20. BTW, what a smart-ass.

:eyes: Please don't involve yourself if it's beneath you.

[Ken Burch]

21. The eyes were for him, not for you...i join you in despising the creep...

Ok?

[Ken Burch]

11. Just remember, by next week,

He'll be blaming Clinton and gays for this.

[babylonsister]

15. Trust me; he's already doing that. Those 'damn liberals' are

messing this country up. Rush, Hannity, Faux, he's tuned in to all of that. Religion, too. So he dumps his wife of 12+ years. How noble. :nuke:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

14. He ain't heavy.....

....okay, yeah.....I'll stop....

[babylonsister]

16. ROFL!

Yeah, stop. :D Made me laugh!

[QMPMom]

24. Maybe we should start a club.

My sister's ex-jerk (a Republican Baptist Minister) decided a few years ago that he no longer loved her. So, on Christmas Eve, he preached his Christmas Eve sermon and then went home and told my sister he no longer loved her and wanted a divorce. She packed up her things and her dog and took all the money she had to her name - $110 - and drove to Dad's. She divorced him and he married a stripper.

Some men just have their morals in their feet and will walk at the drop of a hat.

My sympathies to your SIL and I hope your Dad is okay.

[babylonsister]

44. Welcome to DU, QMPMom. That club might not be a bad

idea, as I've read similar stories on DU for awhile. You just never think anyone in your own life will act this way.
I hope your sister is doing okay.

[neebob]

25. He's not happy, obviously

It doesn't have to have anything to do with his politics. Don't assume, either, that his wife is the tragic victim. A few years of certain behaviors can really wear a persn down.

He's your brother, so you're in the best position to guess what his motivation is, but I wouldn't automatically assume he's the bad guy even if I knew more.

[Vinca]

26. His wife needs to regain enough strength to get the locks changed

before the guy crawls back begging for forgiveness. You know it will happen. What kind of guy is this? The Newt Gingrich kind of guy who deep sixes the wife during a serious illness.

[catmandu57]

29. It's kind of late for a full blown mid life crisis

but, it could happen. I think there is a lot of cognitive dissonance going on with people such as your brother, I don't want to do a frist and analyze him from a distance.
You're in a much better position to figure out what's going on, you may want to look here http://gailsheehy.com she has done some really good work on life stages.
Good luck, and I agree with changing the locks.

[sinkingfeeling]

30. I think you answered the question of 'what kind of man' with your

subject line: fundie, 3X a week to church, dimson lover......

[Lex]

31. Sounds kind of like a Newt Gingrinch thing to do

--leaving his wife while she's sick.

Just awful.

Of course, people like that don't mind judging everyone around them, do they?

[noonwitch]

32. Damn those liberals for undermining the traditional american family!

I don't see how gay marriage is half the threat to the "traditional family" that the average heterosexual male seems to be.

That's why I'm 41 and single by choice. I'm still holding out for a good guy who won't leave me when I'm old and arthritic.

[babylonsister]

45. Funny you mention that because I've been

giving a lot of thought about the husbands in our family (I have 2 sisters), and if they are capable of doing something like this. I say no now, but it does give one pause when it hits so close to home.

[rman]

33. conservative compassionism

what else can it be?

[DiverDave]

34. You can pick your friends

but you cant pick you family.

I got a pretty fucked up dynamic between my sisters and brothers...I haven't spoken to them much in the last 10 years.
We all got together last march when my mom was in the hospital...what a wasted trip, altho it was good to see my mom get better.

My heart goes out to you and your dad and SIL, sometimes the best thing is to just forget him, hard as it seems now, it does get easier with time.
Trust me, I been there.

Good luck.

[bigtree]

35. some folks are just weak

it takes strength to care for others

[Marie26]

36. Projection

It's what they're all about.

[ShaneGR]

37. Sick people leaving each other...

Often when two partners are sick one of the two blames the other for their condition. You mentioned he's a fat and diabetic. Anyways, who cares?

[warrens]

38. Probably always a fuckwad

I have one brother like that. Married wealth and thinks he earned it.

[ourbluenation]

39. Effed up in general - people like that rationalize what they do to feel ok about it.

he'll never learn unless he has a really bottom out or come to jesus as it were. someone should dump his ass for a change.

[Ilsa]

40. My husband loves NASCAR and he is a decent liberal man. Please

don't apply MASCAR loving to freeps and fundies. There are some serious liberal engineering types who love nascar.

I'm sorry your brother is such an asshole. I hope his wife gets better really fast and uses his Gingrich style of abandonment against him and tells everyone in his church about it. He should be tossed to the curb.

[babylonsister]

46. I'm sorry about the NASCAR remark; you're right.

I don't like people generalizing, and I shouldn't have.

[TheBaldyMan]

41. is your SIL OK? pneumonia can be dangerous as well as painful

has she seen a doctor and getting treatment?

[babylonsister]

48. Thank you for asking. She's under a doctor's care. nt

[jobycom]

42. Would need his side of the story to answer that.

I mean, he could be a jerk. Or he could be delusional and believe his wife is just not "christian" or "right" enough for him (a good friend of mine is going through that with her ultra-puritanical-but-not-very-pure husband).

Or there could be issues there you don't know about, that could be legitimate reasons for a crisis or separation. Maybe she's done something to hurt him. Maybe something else has hurt him and he has to find some answers.

Couldn't say without being privvy to secrets of both parties. I know all my friends think I was a saint to stay with my spouse for so long, and all her friends think I am pure evil. Well, not evil, but at least wrong. My friends are right, of course. :)

[Deja Q]

43. F'ed up in general.

You don't ditch a spouse who's ill. That's sick.

[wildhorses]

47. sorry but, you're brother is a Loser

*placing L sign on forehead*


you have my sympathy:hug:

[Kerrytravelers]

49. I know the type, although I don't know your brother.

In general, I find that fundies like to blame everyone else for their problems. They are irrational- so you really can not rationalize the behaviors of the irrational.