People who take things too literally, seriously, or personally:

[Deja Q]

What do you do to 'break the habit'?

How do you develop a 'thick skin', or not let things "get to you"?

[datasuspect]

1. you have to realize that it is not "all about you"

that you have no inherent right to not be offended and must realize that there are many different kinds of people in the world.

and laugh, lots of laughter.

[Deja Q]

3. True.

But being on the autistic side of things, it's not automatic nor easy to consciously deviate.

Still, compared to even 5 years ago I'm vastly improved.

By the time I am sufficiently socially mature, I'll be too damn ugly and it's all about the looks anyway. Looks and fast rides.

Life's an irony.

[datasuspect]

9. dude, don't worry about it so much

as an older friend of mine used to tell me: "don't trip potato chip."

sure, what other people think does matter to an extent, but you have to be who you are.

there is nothing repellent about you physically (from the pics you've posted) and you have a reasonable sensibility.

shake the fear and go out there and stir up some shit.

and fuck em if they can't take a joke.

[Deja Q]

14. So the 300+ people in my high school class COULD be wrong?

:wow:

Amazing what can stick around after all those years... LOL, at least I never had to worry about peer pressure! (yet my parents thought I used drugs at one point. No, I didn't. And if anyone ever listened everyone may have understood the real hell I went through... )

[datasuspect]

15. you only have to answer to yourself ultimately

figure out that you have to be the most important person in the world to yourself first.

i like you, even though you a cotton headed ninnymuggins.

[BarenakedLady]

13. I totally disagree

It is "all about me" damn you. All me, all the time. :woohoo:

[datasuspect]

16. okay

you get to be the exception . . .

[skygazer]

2. You learn to respect yourself

You learn to appreciate who you are and what you think. It's a mistake to think that personal insults don't hurt but they can be balanced by a good standard of self-worth. It enables you to say to yourself, "Okay, so-and-so is saying mean, biting things but I know that it's not an accurate description of me."

And yes, it takes work. I was probably in my late 30's before it dawned on me that, damn it, I'm a pretty cool person, a good person and someone I'm proud to be. And since then, it's been a lot easier to let things slide off of me.

Or maybe I'm talking out of my ass again... :silly:

[idgiehkt]

4. at the risk of sounding like an asshole

I'd rather not be one. I'm sensitive, not insensitive. I think it's inborn. I know you are an aspie and so am I and we are sensitive, not just emotionally but to stuff like bright lights and loud noises that other people are not. I suspect that many of the great artists/poets/writers whatever are sensitive by nature so I don't mind being grouped in that category. Even though it sucks a lot of the time. I don't think it's malleable. Just avoid other humans as much as possible, that's what I do.

[Deja Q]

6. Logical.

I do avoid people. Which is sad as I get treated like a fuckin' criminal in stores. (Gee, I pay, have no qualms paying, want to pay, like to pay, want to have a job so I can pay, and conform yet I'm denied more opportunities than what normal people take for granted then divorce out of a whim...)

And I ought to learn to accept myself, warts and all. I'll be single for the rest of eternity, but at least I won't be pining for something impossible. :)

It's almost a vicious circle. Not a circle. A vicious mobius strip. :spray:

I'm going to go out and buy some ice cream. Fat free ice cream.

[idgiehkt]

18. I hear you

I'm a 38 year old female and culture is telling me I'm so worthless old I should just jump off a bridge (on the heterosexual side of things that is, women are different). I like that lyric in "Runaway Train" where he says "I know what no one else knows/ and I can go where no one else goes..." because it's true for me. I'm not keyed into certain frequencies but I am keyed into some rarer ones. I could see invisible patterns all the time when I was a kid, probably a reason I never much got into hallucinogens later on; I spent my whole childhood making myself see weird shit just for fun.

I don't know, I just don't want to be like the people that are telling me something is wrong with me. It's like I want to say, 'yes, asshole, I know I'm fucked up, however, I have no desire to be like you, either.' So I'm stuck.

On the sensitive because of being baffled by social interactions thing all I can do about it is keep my mouth shut while it's going on and ask 'normal' people about stuff later on. I've spent the past several days doing that here in pms around something I just can't understand. Alot of things will never probably make sense to me but people can tell me what is the normal, appropriate action to take. It sucks when I ask several people and they disagree, because then I have to pick...it's really tough. It's a disability.

[Lautremont]

5. Cultivate these qualities:

1) Great skills of observation,
2) High level of comprehension.

That should do it. Oh, and stay off the Internet - lots of jerks on there!

[Deja Q]

7. They're only human.

Lots of jerks in real life too, I've discovered...

[hickman]

8. I eventually got tire of wasting my life being hurt and angry.

I also came to realize that the world is chock full of jerks and assh$$les, and why was I letting them affect me? I also learned that there are a lot of part time jerks out there too. They're the most dangerous.

[petronius]

10. Every time someone tells you to "lighten up," "don't take it so

seriously," or "don't let it get to you," just punch them really hard in the jaw. Eventually they'll get the message, and really - why should you 'break the habit' when you can break others of the habit of being annoying?

:evilgrin:

[johnnie]

11. I think it is ok to have a little of it

There is nothing wrong with taking things too literally, seriously, or personally. The key is how to deal with it. Someone who never ever takes anything too literally, seriously, or personally has some serious problems.

Now, dealing with it is what is important. The easiest way is to stop before reacting and take a few deep breaths. Then say to yourself "fuck it". That's what I do and it works for me. :)

Oh, but you can't say "fuck it" it is more like "fuggit".

[LSK]

12. More.Sex.Threads.

If that doesnt work, try listening to Stephanie Miller.

[nosillies]

17. As skygazer said, it's all about self-esteem

If you feel good enough about yourself, then fewer things and people get to you. There are loads of ways to work on self-esteem.

That said: I may be going out on a limb here, but from other posts, may I conclude that you fall into the aspie/autism category to a degree? If I'm off base, ignore this paragraph. But if so, sometimes it's not so easy. I stress that i am not dispensing any type of medical advice, but I have worked with aspie students, and I've found that with them it's hard for self-esteem to compensate sometimes when everything is truly literal. Many students I worked with benefited greatly from studying psychology. It helped them understand where other people were coming from, and it also helped them understand the foibles in others (depression, others' own low self-esteem, anxieties, etc.) that might cause people to act ugly or inappropriately. That helped to make things less literal and personal. Also, studying the intricacies of body language sometimes helped.

But I'm sure you're awesome just as you are! :D

[Haole Girl]

19. I would be the wrong person to ask!

But, I've come a long way...believe it or not. In fact (and this might come from my occupation), I don't give a rat's ass if people call me Bitch. I just respond (to myself most of the time), "I'd rather be a Bitch than an asshole." I've grown to take being called a Bitch a compliment, even if it isn't intended as one.

Back to you, HypnoToad...I've been wondering why you always say people look at you like a freak, or treat you badly in stores, etc.? I mean, you don't seem like you look physically different than a million other guys...really. Could it be, possibly, this is perception on your part. I may be way off base...there may be more to it than I know...but, I don't get the way you frequently talk about people treating you badly who are complete strangers. I'm sorry...but I don't get it.

You might want to talk with a counselor about your feelings. Counseling is great; if I could afford it, I'd go twice a week, every week, for the rest of my life! Seriously. Take care...:hug:

[idgiehkt]

21. I think

you might be onto something. I have horrible, nightmarish interactions with mechanics. It's become almost a phobia for me; I am very likely going to have my tag pulled at the end of next month just because I emotionally can't take an interaction with a mechanic right now. I perceive that the way they react to me is insane most of the time and I don't know why it is or what it is that I am doing to bring about this reaction from them over and over, but I can relate to that specific circumstance like in the stores with Hypnotoad. I'd guess the store thing might have something to do with the fact that retail sucks and people read people and since retail people are always dumped on they are looking for someone to vent on and if you look like they might be able to shit on you and blow off steam they will. But I only know that from working retail so many times. I think my problem with mechanics is that my outward appearance which is pretty soft and feminine contrasts with my demeanor and I catch them off guard alot because they aren't expecting it. Whatever it is, it's a recurring nightmare for me dealing with them. I know this is true for alot of people, but with me it's just above and beyond.

[Hosnon]

20. I try to understand the comment in light of the speaker's intent. I've

found it to be the best.