Damn, my friend's father killed himself

[Roon]

He had a bad heart attack that he never fully recovered from. His wife had a liver transplant because of liver disease. They lost their house, their livelihood. He was a federal police officer. He wrapped himself up in blankets and shot himself in the heart. Wild....Does being poor really suck that bad? I never knew....as I have always been poor

[silverlib]

1. I am so sorry Roon...

How horrible for you and for his family.

Peace be with you and with them.

[pitohui]

2. oh i am so sorry

yes there used to be a famous book, the savage god: a study of suicide by a dr. alvarez (spelling?)

in it one of the chapters pointed out the old truism of how you could tell the suicides who tried to kill themselves for love from the ones who killed themselves for debt

the ones who killed themselves for debt meant to die

it's that bad

to be sick and to be begging for every pill, every bite of food to be put in your mouth...no, it's intolerable, when you have worked all of your life to be treated like you are nothing -- i think in most societies most downwardly mobile people would do the same

if you've never known anything better it's probably different

[Kire]

14. I didn't need to read that.

I went from 100K in the bank (from my father's life insurance policy) to 25K in the hole in a year and a half. I don't know what I was thinking. I just didn't care to have a job, and I still haven't had one for three years. Like another poster said, "Don't get sick in your 30's and 40's?" Well, I'm on Social Security Disability for schizo-affective disorder (in which one symptom is schizophrenia, the other is depression), and I'm 31. And now I'm supposed to do job interviews?

I'm not saying I'm going to kill myself, just that I didn't need to read that.

Thanks. I wasn't going to share this, but I decided to take a risk.

Edit: Sorry about your friend's father. I lost my father, not to suicide but to something else. It sucks.

[speedoo]

17. Thank YOU, Kire, for taking the risk.

Wish I could say more right now, but I wish you well. That's the best I can do.

[Blue_Tires]

29. i'm in the same boat as well

(going from relative financial stability to joblessness and heavy debt in a short amount of time)...it's not something i'd wish on my worst enemy....

i would have turned to a life of crime a long time ago if i wasn't convinced i'd be such an incompetent criminal

[Kire]

30. ha ha

that last part is so true

[Richard Steele]

3. The man made a choice.

Having never MET him, let alone 'walked in his shoes',
I will RESPECT the choice he made.

I have known more than a few who took that route,
and I can't say that I understand even ONE.

But a life belongs to its owner, and I am not the
owner of anyone elses life.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear dicksteele......

YOu have exactly put it perfectly......

Especially..........But a life belongs to its owner, and I am not the
owner of anyone elses life.

We all need to keep this in mind....

Thank you for posting this........

[Richard Steele]

7. It's really all I can say about it, y'know?

My father's brother...
My mother's sister...
My step-brother, and all the rest:
I have NO idea why they chose to end lives I was envious of,
but they did.

I would need to be much more arrogantly assumptuous
than I am, to even BEGIN to presume that I could
ever pass judgement upon their CHOICES.

Even I am not TRULY that much of an asshole, although
I occasionally PLAY one online.

[Skittles]

18. excuse me

sometimes it is not a choice - extreme depression is a dreadful disease

[Sequoia]

32. You are so right on!

Therefore, we shouldn't ignore a loved one's cry for help. We are indeed our brother's keeper.

[Deja Q]

35. Bingo. We're a society. We're supposed to help each other.

Otherwise it's one big fuckin' farce. A very phony and selfish one.

[Deja Q]

34. By chemical imbalance, or being overwrought by external factors?

And at what point does a "qualified" person separate one from the other?

At what point is suicide justified in our "culture of life"?

[Skittles]

37. when a person feels there is no way out

their choices no longer exist

[u4ic]

10. Well said!

The 'health care' system down south makes me so livid. :grr:

It sounds like medicine kills more than the 100,000 estimated each year in the US - in the form of suicides.

[Deja Q]

33. So, let's pretend I want to do myself in.

Or the last 5 or 6 times I really wanted to, or the 3 actual attempts in my life I had made.

Would you have respected my decision to do it?

Isn't it a good thing somebody gave a damn?

It's going to take me a while to fully understand what you said.

[speedoo]

4. What a tragedy.. I'm sorry.

Did they lose everything because of the medical issues? A federal police officer would have pretty good insurance, I assume. Maybe it was the long term care expenses?

[pitohui]

9. ok here's the thing

even the best of health insurance doesn't cover the loss of income when you can't work

i don't know this case but i know other good people it happened to

even w. the best insurance in the world don't get sick or injured in your 30s or 40s, you're screwed in this world

healh insurance will pay for your care minus co-pays

it won't buy your food or educate your kid or pay the light bill

our welfare in this country is insulting and is only for people w. kids who can expect to work again

for everybody else, yeah, shoot me now

(sorry for the rant but the unfairness of the way people are treated for getting ill at the wrong age in this country, it just gets me going)

[speedoo]

11. It was a good rant... no apology needed. nt

[pitohui]

12. thanks for understanding NT

.

[angstlessk]

26. Then you cannot work..which is where you are insured..so work cancels

your insurance...cause COBRA is exhorbantly expensive...THEN you have a pre existing condition if you can EVEN ever get a job again.

AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SUCKS!

[Roon]

22. I am not sure

I would thinkg that too. Perhaps both their illnesses tapped the funds?

[speedoo]

23. Yes, that's what I meant by "long term care expenses".

How old is your friend? Do you have any idea how his wife will manage now, if she can, at all?

[Ediacara]

5. I'm so sorry Roon

I just learned friday that a former boyfriend -someone I always was planning on making up with once I got over being so mad at him- killed himself over two years ago. I've been pretty broken up and I'm finding myself teary-eyed at inappropriate times, like at work. :hug:

[leftofthedial]

8. illness sucks

especially in America

losing everything sucks

everywhere

[u4ic]

13. My condolences to your friend

and his family - and to you, Roon. :grouphug:

[enigmatic]

15. I'm sorry

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

16. I'm sorry to hear that, Roon.

It is difficult to deal with. And the saddest thing is, sometimes people do get to a place where they just can't see a way out any longer.

My condolences to your friend and family, and to you too.

[ikojo]

19. So sorry to hear of your friend's father killng

himself. My brother, now deceased, shot himself in the chest in 1993. He survived that attempt because the bullet missed his heart by an inch or so.

Yes, being poor in the US of A (USA!! USA!!! USA!!!) SUCKS. It sucks to not be able to answer the phone because you just know it's another bill collector calling for money you simply do not have. In a more civilized country having a heart attack and a liver transplant would not cause a family to fall into poverty but here in the pull your self up by your bootstraps land it does.

[xchrom]

20. sorry roon -- i'm sure that was a real shock to learn.

[Roon]

21. Thanks for the replies everyone

:grouphug:

[judaspriestess]

24. thats sad

so sorry!!

A colleague of mine has a friend who was in a very bad car accident 20 years ago and never fully recovered, she has been living in excruciating pain and discomfort for all this time. Well she has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and only has a few months to live. She is ECSTATIC. Sometimes someone just can't take anymore.

[NewWaveChick1981]

25. OMG, Roon, that's tragic.

:cry: :hug: :( I don't know what makes people do what they do, but he must have been at the bottom of despair to have done that. I'm so sorry for your friend and his family, and for you. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I'm so sorry, Roon.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. Oh how awful...

I keep your friend, his family, and you in my thoughts and prayers... :hug::hug::hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. My father in law did that to us... and his father to him, before that...

I am sorry for the pain your friend will carry forever. Suicide offers no closure. :hug:

[REDKING]

36. These kind of life stories I

hear about and know to be true.....It is truly a stain on our kind,our species that people feel so alone and helpless that they take their own lives..I have no money,Christ I cant even afford my own place to live,I rent,crap job,no real prospects...dont ever feel that you are alone or that alone.I have seen enough to know that there is more to life than money....if you have real friends,or just one friend..then you are rich..I am a rich man,I found friends here that I never thought was possible.I hope tomorrow brings you a better day...Best Wishes..Peace..RK:+
WE are KINGS and QUEENS..the game

[Blue_Tires]

38. ttt