Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

How do you feel about fraternities and sororities?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
bluestateguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:00 PM
Original message
How do you feel about fraternities and sororities?
And when I ask that, I mean social fraternities and sororities, not Greek letter organizations that are primarily dedicated to service or scholarship. I mean traditional Greek social organizations, where service is very secondary to social activities.

I don't like these organizations at all. I think they reinforce class separation and elitism. Such groups to me seem like elaborate social networks designed to establish the next generation of good ole' boys and socialites. Through fraternities and sororities young people are conditioned too keep outsiders out early. I don't much like elitism and social pecking orders.

I'm not prepared to generalize them all as racist, as I'm sure many chapters are not, but many universities have almost 100% racial segregation in their Greek systems. Are we supposed to believe that that is just a coincidence?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Vidar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. Despise them--pretty much for the reasons you've mentioned.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
2. What's to like?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
3. I was in a Frat in collage and it was basically a cult
The ritual actually had some good stuff but no one learned anything from it. For the most part my Frat was a bunch of cocky adolescent ass holes who would have practically died for their cult. I had a lot of fun and their were tons of drunk, hot babes at the party's, but the Frat it's self was no more than a cult. I never went alum and left after two years.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. For social activities? They are stupid
That is one reason I attended a University that did not have them.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
suzbaby Donating Member (906 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. As a member of a sorority.
Edited on Sat Sep-02-06 02:29 PM by suzbaby
I frequently found during my time in college that when I told people I was a member of a sorority, they would immediately have an idea of what I was "suppose" to be. They would treat me like I was some elitist bitch without ever knowing anything about me.

It got to a point where I didn't like telling people that I was a member of a sorority.

My experience in the Greek system was, on the whole, a positive one. It was the best of times, frustrating as hell sometimes, but overall worth it.

You post just reminds me of what I experienced over and over again. I was never a party girl; I don't like drinking. I was a good student and I like to think I was a respectful person. Yet the second I told someone that I was in a sorority, I felt that person's prejudice.

Snotty, elitist, bitch, party girl, drunken slut. This was what I was suppose to be. Yet whenever that person would get to know me a little bit, they would turn around and say, "you're not like a soroity girl." All I would think at that point would be, "how many sorority women did you actually know before now?"

I hope that when you meet a sorority woman or a fraternity man in the future, you give them a chance before you categorize them as elitist, racist, and drunken partiers.



edit: spelling
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #5
40. I'm glad you are not a drunken elitist
but it still does not negate the reason such organizations exist in the first place. It is a form of networking with the right people. Sororities in the past served as a means of ensuring parents that their daughters would travel in circles with the right boys and therefore were not as likely to marry outside of her caste (oops! I mean class!).

Given that the primary example of a frat boy is the appointed president of the US, and he is a drunken elitist, I'd say that and experience is the source of many an attitude torward's fraternity and sorority members.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
suzbaby Donating Member (906 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 12:20 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. Primary example of a Frat Boy?
Once again, I would ask if you are playing to a stereotype or if you are playing to a stereotype (oops sorry, I guess those options were both the same).

My husband is a "frat boy", although he would prefer to be known as a fraternity man. He next to never drinks and he hardly ever did when he lived in house. Furthermore, his fraternity was "dry" meaning that no alcohol was allowed in the house. He is currently working on a masters degree in computer science, and will soon move on to a PhD. He's a liberal.

Are you honestly going to make sweeping generalizations about an entire group of people because of Bush? One person? Is he suppose to be the representative? That's disgusting.

I don't know the veracity of your claim that sororities were created so that women would marry the right man. I know that it is not why my sorority was founded. However, even if that is why some sororities were founded...do you think that carries over today? I would highly doubt it.

I would also like to mention that at my University, the Greek system consistently had higher grades than the dorms. In fact, there was never a time while I went to school that the Greek system didn't average higher in grades.

If I had to do it all over again. I would join my sorority all over again.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #42
50. My experience is some had better grades for a not so
honest reason. Fair amount of cheating going on - not saying all, or even most - just saying.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
suzbaby Donating Member (906 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #50
54. You could say that same thing of the dorms
There are dishonest people wherever you go. It's not fair to just pin that on the Greek system.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #54
55. You may have a point - I am not familiar with dorm life. But I did
witness lots of examples of highly organized cheating in the Greek system. File cabinets of papers and exams, records on instructors etc.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #40
45. My sorority was formed when women were new to the college scene
There were already men's fraternities who were supportive of their members. Women formed a supportive group of their own. College attendance was more rare back then and a college degree usually assured a good job and connections so that probably was less of an issue back then.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. I enjoyed my sorority
One thing that I enjoyed about it was that it was a single gender organization, which I think can be positive for young women within a coeducational college.
I went to a smaller academically oriented college. I think that more of the bad things about the Greek organizations tend to happen at larger colleges. Although we weren't an open organization, we didn't think of ourselves as elitists.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. agreed. I think at smaller schools the whole atmosphere is
different. I would never assume a person is going to behave in a particular way just because they are in a Greek Social Organization.
Hey, sororities actually began as part of the early days of coeducational colleges as a support group for the women, who were always in the minority on those campuses, discriminated against by the faculty, and generally made to feel unwelcome. Yes some of them do offer invitations only on class, income, etc. but...others do not. They just want congenial people who enhance the group.

And at some bigger schools, it depends on how they run their Greek Letter Orgs. I know from talking to my friends and their daughters that many schools work very hard to make sure every young woman who wants to be part of a sorority on that campus has a place. It may not be the one she thought she wanted but there will be a place.

At my college, most everyone who went through the process was invited to join at least one of the three women's orgs, and more women were in these groups than not. Those who were not invited to join were either just NOT likable people (several pop immediately into my mind), or were so dead set on a particular group that they left the others off their choice cards and therefore were cut from the other two groups by default.
You could be at the top of a certain group's list and if you did not put their name on your choice card, you went to the bottom ..if they filled their % quota before they got back to your name, then no bid.

I remember two or three women who went through the process several times without ever being invited back to 2nd round parties. They were difficult people to be around under any circumstances. On the surface, you would have thought they would fit the "sorority mold" quite well...money, class, etc. but they were so unpleasant they could barely keep a room mate, much less fit in with a group.

Small college, small city, boring, etc. The Greeks provided additional social functions, additional intramural athletics, and a comfortable place to be at the end of the day. And there were service projects all the time. Of course on every campus there is the "Wild Girls" Sorority, the "Snob Sorority" the "Jock" Sorority, the "Gentlemen's" Fraternity, the "Animal House" fraternity, the "average Joes" frat and on our campus, a historically Jewish frat which was also integrated. The funny part is, go to another campus and all those roles will switch to different groups.

If it works for you, you should do it. If it doesn't appeal to you then don't do it ...but don't assume all persons you meet who choose to be part of it are cut from the same mold..because they are not!

Hey, JoAnne Woodward and Harper Lee were both Chi Omegas; they can't be all bad!

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Thanks to you from this sorority girl! nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GalleryGod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #12
24. All-righty, Xmas!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 07:57 AM
Response to Reply #24
33. I loved my experience and the time spent.
I don't go into it too often on the boards because it seems to cause massive flamewars.

(FWIW-I was from a lower middle class family and they gladly accepted me. My pledge class included various ethnic backgrounds and two lesbians. And WE were the "wild" sorority.
I noticed that my sorority was more accepting of others then most groups were on campus.)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
aePrime Donating Member (676 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #33
44. Same here
I liked living in my fraternity. They were great guys, which is why I joined.

I also don't defend it much on these boards because it does cause flamewars, and it never changes anybody's mind. We're liberals -- we're supposed to be open and not stereotype, but most seem to think that the Greek system is exempt from this courtesy.

It doesn't seem to me, for example, that the original poster really wanted people to debate his view so that he could have an expanded notion of the Greek system. His opening diatribe seems to suggest that he was instead hoping that he could get some vile comments about the Greek system (and some have been presented) to reinforce his views.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #44
47. That's what I thought.
Most of the threads started about Greek life have usually been an attempt to reinforce negative views.

On my college campus the women were outnumbered by the men 5:1. For years there was only one dorm for all the women and the upkeep on it was less then wonderful. Many of the men's dorms were single occupancy while the women's dorm had rooms with four and five girls on top of each other and only the upperclasswomen were allowed to choose their roommates. For that reason alone pledging seemed like a good idea.

I lived in the house. I had only one roommate and shared a decent sized bathroom with three women (compared to the wait for the communal bathroom in the dorm). We had a large gathering/living room nicely furnished for us to entertain guests if we so chose. We had guest rooms in case friends came to stay from out of town. We had a study room in the basement with large tables so that we could have group study sessions, another smaller room with computers and printers and everyone helped each other with their classes. (The basement was the quiet zone, used just for studying.) We had a decent kitchen and would eat together as a group at least once a week. (We'd make our own meals-much healthier then what we got in the cafeteria.)

As to the social life: no sister ever let another sister go out alone. No sister ever went to a bar or club alone, not to mention games and other activities. We kept each other safe on a campus that was gaining a reputation for date rape.

IRL, I never had a sister but when I pledged I suddenly had 40 of them. I had women to look up to, get advise from, tutoring assistance if I ever needed it and a ready supply of clothes to borrow. We did fight with each other on occasion but that's to be expected. In high school I had very few female friends. Greek life taught me how to build lasting friendships with women-something I had never been able to do. And my closest girlfriends to this day are all women from my house.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #33
46. I think we had similar experiences, xmas
We had a lot of really interesting women in our house from all kinds of ethnic and economic backgrounds. Like I said in my other post, I wouldn't have joined a house otherwise (and frankly, another type of house probably wouldn't have wanted me, I pretty much marched to my own drummer and still do). :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. Same here.
Another house wouldn't have wanted me but the house that did was a perfect fit.

I originally had no interest in Greek life until a girl in my calc class asked me to look into it. Turns out she wanted me in her sorority. She invited me over before Rush Week to study for a bit and to look around. I quickly realized that it was much better then living in the dorms and decided to see if I could afford to pledge. And the girl in calc class became my sorority mom while I was pledging. She later became my suitemate.

If my daughter someday expresses an interest and can find a house that matches her as well as mine did I'd encourage it. Of course, she could just pledge mine and be a legacy.:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
7. People are free to associate as they please.
And you are free to stereotype them, however ignorantly and judgmental.

Ain't the Constitution great?

:smoke:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
8. As a college student, I have no desire to join one.
But I'm not much of a drinker or partier. And if I do drink, it's never more than three in one evening, and it's always in the company of a few friends I know well, not a raging frat party. The frats and sororities at my school are pretty stereotypical in that respect. They drink crappy beer, get shitfaced, and pass out three times a week.

But hey, if someone wants to, they're totally welcome. College is the time to try that stuff. Different strokes for different folks and all that. All I ask is that if you're under the influence of something, please don't drive home.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Common Sense Party Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:56 PM
Response to Original message
9. Depends on the school, and on the particular frat or sorority
chapter.

A few are decent, and not at all despicable.

I never had any desire in joining a frat, but my best friend loved being in his.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
distantearlywarning Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
11. I had a group of 4 sorority girls in my class this summer
They were all from the same sorority. Without a doubt, they were the stupidest, most obnoxious girls I ever had the misfortune to teach. And they all wore too much makeup and too-tight shirts. They were exactly like the stereotype.

On the other hand, I had an undergraduate research assistance once who was a member of a sorority. Although on th outside she looked like a snob (thin, blond, very well-dressed), she was actually very nice. And she was quite bright and motivated. I'm sure she had close to perfect grades, and she probably went to grad school. She was one of the best research assistants I ever had. Of course, she was considering dropping out of her sorority when I knew her, because she thought her sisters were too focused on gossip and drinking.

So, I don't know. I will admit that I do sometimes pre-judge people on campus, especially girls, if they are wearing a sorority t-shirt. It's probably unfair, because probably some sororities on my campus do a lot of service while others are just party houses, but I don't know enough to know which is which.

I would never join one, even if they weren't the associated stereotypes, with their varying degrees of accuracy. I am just not into "group" things that much.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GalleryGod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #11
27. As one who is also a member of a faculty...
indeed, your prejudging is unfair
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SoyCat Donating Member (660 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #11
56. Do you really believe that "thin, blond, very well-dressed" women look
like snobs? Should I gain weight, dye my hair a darker color ,and start dressing down all the time in order to not appear a snob? "Snob" is an attitude, not an appearance.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Momgonepostal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #11
64. self-delete
Edited on Tue Sep-05-06 12:40 AM by Momgonepostal
posted in the wrong place
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
13. Some of the kids in soros and frats are good kids.
They're not all stuck-up snobs.

I like the indies the best...and the non-traditionals. Most of those students work their asses off--often working full-time jobs and attending college--and they know the value of their education and take college seriously.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
14. never been a member of either one...
:shrug: i have my theater peeps and that is enough for me :-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
15. I was in a fraternity in college - loved it, love the system, all for it.
Are there problems? Sure. There are problems with the non-fraternity students as well. Who cares?

My experience was fantastic, and I'm still friends with many of my brothers.

I think that trying to tear down fraternities and sororities is a ridiculous waste of time and energy - your energy could be far better spent elsewhere.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
16. I never joined one, never much wanted to, and I'm finding the women in law
Edited on Sat Sep-02-06 06:06 PM by eyesroll
group at my school to be basically another sorority (but this one has to take anyone who pays the $15). I'll probably join for the networking opportunities (and I am a sucker for bake sales) but I'm not likely heading to any of their social events. Poker nights, golf outings, makeover parties are generally not my thing. Especially golf.

Edit: Sororities aren't for me. Your mileage may vary.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
17. I went to a college that forbade them
And, I worked at a university that had a huge "Greek" life. MAJOR difference in the dynamic of alot of student stuff. Including having to see a bunch of blonde spaceheads being "rushed" every year. *gag*

My college stated it was elitist and divisive. I went to a Methodist college, and they believed such societies were unchristian because of this false elitism. Membership in any such society resulted in expulsion.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
18. I was in a sorority in college.
Actually, I met people from more diverse backgrounds in my sorority than I did in my high school. We certainly were not "conditioned too keep outsiders out early" by any stretch; we welcomed women from all backgrounds, and I wouldn't have joined if we didn't. I made some lifelong friends and had good and bad experiences. Thanks for not generalizing me as racist... ?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
19. Not a member of one
But I don't stereotype their members. I've met many fine people who have been in sororities or fraternities.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
20. We used to call them "rent-a-friends".
I went to the university in my home town and those of us who were homers thought the frats and sororities were stupid.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 09:57 PM
Response to Original message
21. I went to a large urban university, so I joined a sorority to meet people,
have a place to hang out and have fun. I enjoyed it, but quit after the first two years. Didn't need it anymore, I guess.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
22. If I had gone to college, the LAST thing I'd have done would have been
to join a fraternity. The first time someone tried to whack me on the ass with a paddle for an "initiation," he'd have found the paddle stuck up his.

Could people possibly be more juvenile than "frat brothers?"

Redstone
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GalleryGod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #22
28. I disagree 110%
More juvenile?

Try the Lounge.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GalleryGod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
23. Swimmin' Upstream again at PCDU.
Love Frats. I have been a member of a National Greek Fraternity since the Spring of 1969....I'd even sing you our "Sweetheart" song but the stink and anger is palpable in this thread.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
25. Meh
I just can't get myself worked up over them anymore. When I was in college, they seemed exclusionary and an unfair business networking advantage. Now that I'm nearly 20 years gone from the place, they seem like any other campus club.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ForeverWinter Donating Member (77 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
26. I have a confession.
I attended one of the most liberal public universities...CU Boulder. The Greeks were not only elitist, they were falsely elitist. They were middle-to-upper-middle-class, average-to-mildly-attractive, but had all the attitude of the skinnyblonde rich easterners or southerners.
I ended up dating for two years, a really good guy who was, as an unfortunate product of his unquestioning upbringing, a member of a "southern frat" that only had about three chapters in the west. Their spring formal was called "Old South" and they actually rented CONFEDERATE UNIFORMS to wear to it. They had an election to induct the "queen of the prom", somebody's girlfriend, and during the vote a speech was made against me because I was a dirty hippie, controlling, threateningly pretty (you should see me, not really an issue) and a feminist. Even though a few of us were on academic probation and I held a rockawesome "study night" at my apartment featuring beverages and delicious snacks, and was way popular with the underclassmen.
I loved the guy so much, I went through the whole gauntlet willingly. That's why when you guys say Bush-voters should never be forgiven, I say, we can ALL change.
The Greeks in Boulder, honestly, should be pitied. They don't have the status they imagine. This is a town that breeds Olympians and pioneers, Alan Ginsburg and Frank Shorter. And yet there are these very standard, or sub-standard kids jerking themselves off, going, "She's just not DG material." When they can't ski, don't relate to themselves as spiritual people, can't excel or thrive because of this whole, sad, childish popularity contest.
It basically boils down to, if Greek is good, why don't you allow ANYONE AND EVERYONE who kind and talented and worthwhile into your little club? Why does it make you feel so good to be "exclusive" and even nasty, when the "real" exclusive people would shut you down in a heartbeat?
I'm not being mean. I went along with the whole "Old South" thing and will regret it always.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
29. I imagine there are probably good fraternity and sorority members.
Unfortunately, "good" apparently doesn't put asses in the seats anymore.

Nope, only saw the extrovert spring-break-dude drunks. Can't relate to that whole scene at all. None of it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Omphaloskepsis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
30. While not pretty.. I used to piss on their beds after crashing...
their parties. I have had a few friends raped by fratboys. Fuck em... I know, broad brush, you were a frat boy, 10 percent of them are fucking scum. The concept is fucking stupid.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
31. They mystify me
For some people its the social frame of reference for an entire lifetime. I dated a 30year old man and we realized we went to the same large university. He asked me what "house" I was in and I didn't understand the question.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
blonndee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 12:05 AM
Response to Original message
32. As an instructor
(and most of my students think I'm only about 5-7 years older than them, and our classes are very small, so they share a LOT) I've heard from many young women about this, although I haven't discussed racial issues with them. But the topic itself is interesting, so I hope you don't mind if I kind of veer off. Just the other day we were chatting before class and several of them said they would NEVER go through the rush process again if they had a chance to do it over again. They were talking about how vicious the other young women were and one of them said they felt like they were being sold at auction!

I've also made friends with members of sororities, in various ways, such as working with them at the student paper. I always ask them about it because I was NEVER into that kind of thing--it horrified and terrified me--and so I have kind of a fascination with it. There are good things like having ready-made friends and always something to do, but the bad things are pretty scary:

being expected to attend date parties and being judged by the quality of your date;

actually being kept track of as to how you dress on campus;

feeling pressured to stay as skinny as the skinniest girl in the house;

the weird pressure to both hook up with fraternity guys AND not cross the line into being a slut;

pretending to love all the other girls but then being willing to talk shit about them behind their backs, trying to gather all the while how far to go and about whom it's appropriate to gossip;

always fearing being ostracized, which is the worst punishment ever because the ostraciz-ERS make sure ALL the houses know about whatever scandal it is that made you a pariah.

In general, I just hate the idea. To me it seems like a more serious extension of all the high school cliques. There are other reasons I hate it, but I think the majority of progressives are with me on that--I just thought I'd share (albeit ungracefully) a little of what I've gathered from my students who do belong.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nosillies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:28 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. Boy, have you hit the nail on the head with some of your comments
All of the things you listed were what really made me hate sorority life.

I eagerly joined a sorority in college, and made it into arguably the best one on campus. I think I knew all along it wasn't going to be for me, but I thought it the best thing to do to meet people, and it was expected. (Now, thanks to an earlier post, I have learned that I chose this because I was a bad person, as I was southern, skinny, blonde, and came from a family with some money. :D)

It had plenty of benefits, but the drawbacks were greater for me. By the time my brother went to college, he had heard my gripes, and decided it wasn't for him (and he would have made such a good-looking frat boy!). He made it through college just fine without, but even he was in a social club of a different sort -- he was an athlete.

It's such a personal choice, though. I would never fault anyone for choosing to be a member of a certain group, nor would I fault anyone for not choosing to be. As long as each individual makes their own informed and intelligent decision, so be it. In some ways, though, it just makes more work for other people -- if some come away from any group with learned bad behaviors, we have to spend either more time and effort counteracting this learned behavior or more time and effort removing these people from our lives.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:48 AM
Response to Reply #32
37. you summed up what I learned about sororities during college
it was basically an extension of a high school cult.

One girl I know who was very eager to join a sorority, joined one and spent a fortune on clothes and on "gifting" other "sisters"...she took very seriously her oath to do what they told her...

She socialized with all the men of the fraternities...(you were expected to date them only)...and viewed each social that they had as her obligation to make those men happy.

She got black-balled from that sorority when they felt that she was "sleeping around too much"...what a joke
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #32
52. High School v2.0
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:31 AM
Response to Original message
35. As a former college professor, I hate them
Not the individual students, mind you, but the whole system.

My reason is one that perhaps hasn't been mentioned yet: they soak up energy that would be better spent in more enriching activities.

Greek organizations place heavy demands on their members to attend house meetings and compulsory social events and projects and football/basketball/etc. games, all the while maintaining an anti-intellectual atmosphere. It has been my experience, therefore, that other kinds of extra-curricular activities suffer on campuses with a heavy Greek presence.

Can you imagine a 16,000-student university that has to go into the community to cast plays because not enough students try out? A large university where the choir is only 40 people, not because of auditions, but because no one else shows up? A large university where the newspaper has trouble filling four pages?

Teaching at such a place colored my attitude toward Greek organizations--along with the inane personal ads they placed in the campus newspaper. "Delta Lovies to our sweet sister Ashley J who just got engaged to DKE man Jason W." :puke:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Porcupine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 01:28 AM
Response to Reply #35
70. What she said goes double here at CSUC.
If you go to a lecture the school puts on about global warming the one group you will NOT see represented in the audience is students. Well, maybe the students who are signing in at the "I'm here for class credit table."

Very few students contribute or participate in town activities or politics outside of the bars and liquour stores. If you go to any activity that is enlightening, artistic, civic-minded or political the one group that will NOT be represeted is the college kids. So sad.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
last_texas_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
36. I don't like them
Doesn't mean there aren't some good people who are or were in them. But the basic idea of the organizations themselves and what went on at the ones I know much about from where I went to school... well, I just know that kinda stuff isn't me at all. (I wasn't in one but went to a couple parties 'cause some of my best friends from high school ended up joining them in college.) Oh yeah, and as for the racial thing, the one one of my friends was in had the Confederate flag proudly displayed at the frat house. (It's heritage not hate, though, of course...) That frat did have one black member, though; he kinda reminded me of Alan Keyes in his views, only dumber.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
38. my experience with a frat guy
this frankenstein looking dude who belonged to a greek frat.

we were in an introductory german class and sat by each other and got along and shit.

one day he show's up class wearing a "yanni" concert shirt and told me how "awesome" the show was.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Placebo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:49 AM
Response to Reply #38
67. funniest thing i've read all day
:D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
39. Me an' the two Georges. All DKEs.
It was a big deal back then, or at least it seemed to be.
Not now.
At least not to me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cmd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
41. It depends on the school
When I left for college I was determined that I would not fall into the sorority trap. By the end of my first semester, I was one of a handful of girls not affilliated with a sorority. I called myself Alpha Mu Mu (my initials) and laughed at the notion of pledging. Soon after that I realized that there was nothing to do on campus if you did not belong to a sorority. My college was in a tiny town far out in the boondocks. Greek life was the only game in town. I ended up joining during the "open" season second semester and ended up having a lot of fun. There were no sorority of fraternity houses. Everyone lived in dorms and associated with everyone else.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ChoralScholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
43. There were 20 or so of us friends
who reactivated a chapter of Phi Mu Alpha at the University of Central Arkansas. We were very close, and learned a great deal about brotherhood, and about each other.

Now, I can't say that those values carried on after we were gone, but it was a great experience for us.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fountain79 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
49. From the moment of my birth, the friends of my dad's who I saw as uncles..
were his fraternity brothers. These are men that I have known all my life and have been like family to me. I am in a fraternity myself, a latino based fraternity, which I can proudly say has membership of all races and creeds. I think there are some bad apples, but I think fraternities/sororities provide a service to young men/women.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 03:50 PM
Response to Original message
51. hate 'em
king george is the poster boy for frat assholes
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fountain79 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 05:46 AM
Response to Reply #51
59. George Bush was a member of a secret society...not a fraternity..n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
53. We took advantage of the frats for the free alcohol, but I have to say,
most of the guys in them seemed like spoiled assholes. There were some exceptions, though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Dulcinea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
57. To each his/her own taste.
Edited on Sun Sep-03-06 07:43 PM by Dulcinea
I went to a few frat parties in my college days, & wouldn't put anyone down for joining one, but it wasn't for me. I'm much too independent, plus I went to college in part to get away from that whole clique mentality. YMMV.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sweetheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-03-06 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
58. "we're the best fraternity and all the others suck..."
"sigma alpha epsilon, ra ra fuck."

I guess it got me inspired to poetry. I was a pledge, got shitfaced and
screwed up my grades, got accepted to the frat and turned it down because
i found getting shitfaced on alcohol to be sick, and that cannabis and LSD
were something more interesting.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 05:56 AM
Response to Original message
60. they are sickening
:puke:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
61. My school had a really weedy Greek system
I think there were about three fraternities and two sororities in a campus of 7000 people.

The only frat that had any presence on the campus was TKE and it was a truly odd combination of socialists and republicans... all the TKEs were heavy into politics on both sides. I had a roommate who was a TKE. He was Filipino, Catholic, business major, and republican, and he became a pretty good friend. He said that the fraternity lifestyle was about finding acceptance as a man, and that having brothers that you could count on was very important to him. It wasn't really a party frat, it was about something more.

But I know that at other schools the Greek system is more of a stereotype.

According to the school paper, TKE isn't recognized any more. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 11:45 PM
Response to Original message
62. HEY BLUESTATEGUY.


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Benfea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:06 AM
Response to Original message
63. I was in one.... at an engineering school.
Fraternities and sororities at an engineering school are an entirely different animal from what you'd find at normal universities. I've talked to people about what greeks are like at normal schools, and I'd never go for that, but I loved my experiences in my fraternity and the greek system at my school.

On top of that, my national fraternity (Phi Kappa Sigma) was the first fraternity to put in its constitution rules against selecting members based on race. I know Alpha Phi Alpha claims to be the first in that regard, but we did it before the civil war, before Alpha Phi Alpha ever existed.

I can imagine what it would have taken to make such a change during the 1960s, but those must've been some mighty brave men to make such a change before the civil war.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Momgonepostal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
65. A former roommate told me about her pledge experience...
They had the girls do the dumbest things...had to wear dresses for a month, get up ever morning at some god-forsaken hour to exercise, they couldn't talk to boys for weeks, and once they had them run up and down several flights of stairs near the PE building while singing the theme song from Rocky. My room-mate asked one of the sisters why they they chose to have them do the stairs and the girl confided that it was a good way to weed out the pledges who were fat.

Why would anyone jump through all those silly hoops to have certain friends? If one of my kids came home from school saying they had to wear a dress for a month or so and so wouldn't be their friend, I'd tell them to find new friends.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Placebo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:45 AM
Response to Original message
66. they are stupid
really stupid
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Porcupine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:58 AM
Response to Original message
68. In my town they kill kids with depressing regularity.
We've had two minor riots since school started, one student death and one severely injured officer. Last year one kid drank himself to death with WATER in a hazing incident.

I have to deal with snotty sororoty bitches who want repairs on their apartment done NOW but then let their kitties pee all over the carpet. Houses occupied by frat guys are just unspeakable piles of filth the homeless shelter would be ashamed of. I have to deal with their mommies and daddies threatening me with a lawsuit over the phone whenever they don't get what they want. I have to show up when they flush whiskey bottles down toilets and then flood the people downstairs. I have to deal with the booze, the garbage, the fires, and the general idiocy.

I hate them. I consider them to be true terrorist orginizations. Given a choice between Greeks and Ex-cons I'll take the crooks any day.

Oh, and I NEVER, EVER see them helping out in ANY of the public events the town puts on.
:rant:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Karenca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 01:11 AM
Response to Original message
69. I thought that died in the 50's
The mentality of a frat is close to that of a street gang. They believe that strength comes in numbers and the individual is powerless by themselves.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr 18th 2024, 03:19 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC