Music Coorespondent Web Site - Put in a band or album and...

[matcom]

:rofl:

What do I think about Nickelback's Savin' Me? I'll tell you what I think...

Section: 1 really should never be played in intelligent company if you want to retain your friends. How many times does Nickelback need to tell us all about their miserable fucking life? Track three, Section: 12 just reeks of teenage bedroom poetry and should have stayed there. Section: 14? No, no, no, no and no. Horrible. Like the little ticking noise that maggots make as they feed.

Luckily a glitch on the CD caused track six, Section: 16 to skip and refuse to play. Well, at least I hope that is what was happening - for all I know that was what Nickelback intended it to sound like. Section: 17 could be mistaken for aural herpes if you don't listen very carefully, and, believe me, you don't want to. Section: 18 made my cat sick. Twice. I think I'm going to sue.

In fact, I feel violated from just having to discuss this stuff with you.

If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something.



http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/default.asp

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. I plugged in "Jesus Loves Me" as my favorite song...

I've tried to wipe the compilation Jesus Loves Me: Music for the Soul from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...

I had to abandon listening to the opening track, the 'Instrumental' of I Would Not Be Denied after my nose and ears began to bleed. His Eye Is on the Sparrow is beyond belief. It sounds like nails being slowly drawn down a blackboard by the Marquis De Sade. I've heard better tunes than Shall We Gather at the River from my digital watch, on the hour, every hour.

Twenty people died whilst Count Your Blessings was being created. I can only say that they are the lucky ones and missed out on what sounds like the slow drip, drip, dripping of that tap you forgot to turn off in the bathroom before going to bed. Track twenty, Jesus Loves Me or a rusty saw being slowly dragged through my four year old's genitalia? You decide, I'm not playing it again.

In fact, I'm scared of this record. I'm going to track down and maim each and every one of its contributors.

[Bunny]

2. It had to be done:

I've tried to wipe Led Zeppelin's Led Zeppelin III from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...

Celebration Day is about as hip as my mother's attempts at the Lambada. It's a vision of hell that not many people live to see, I promise you. It's things like Out On The Tiles that makes people want to kill each other. Sixteen years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like track six, Gallows Pole.

Track 7, Tangerine sounds like the little ticking noise that maggots make as they feed from its start right through to its (bleated) finish. The chorus of That's The Way will haunt me for years to come, sounding as it does like a dawn chorus of chickens slowly being ground into mince for the cheap meat market. Ouch. Track 10, the 'Roy' of Hats Off To Harper will not only remove the enamel from your teeth, but charge you for its professional dental services afterwards.


It is difficult to stop yourself from throwing a brick at your CD player when tosh like the opening track, Immigrant Song comes out of it on a regular basis. Track five, Out On The Tiles sounds like a coked-up Andrew Lloyd-Webber writing a never-ending stream of musical obscenities dribbling through my ears and out onto the carpet from its start right through to its (bleated) finish. Four people died whilst track seven, Tangerine was being created. I can only say that they are the lucky ones and missed out on what sounds like the elephant man attempting to whistle the Muzak back catalogue.

Track 9, Bron-Y-Aur Stomp should have been left off this album. It's marginally better than the rest and, frankly, only draws attention to their simplistic banality.

In fact, a fruits of the forest yoghurt has more cultural significance.

If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something.

[tinfoil tiaras]

3. Alas! This guy be hatin on mah mee-unn R.E.M.!!!

What do I think about Document by R.E.M.? I'll tell you what I think...

Too much Finest Worskong is bad for your health. I recommend taking up injecting heroin into your eyeballs instead. It tickles a bit, but the rush is awesome. Exhuming McCarthy reminds me of the dopplered euro-pap that you hear late on a Saturday night in the suburbs blaring from a jumped up Ford Fiesta. I wish it wouldn't. I had to abandon listening to Fireplace after my nose and ears began to bleed.

Track nine, Lightnin' Hopkins sounds like something my cat brought in, but couldn't be bothered to kill. Like the elephant man attempting to whistle Shaddapa ya face, track eleven, Oddfellows Local 151 is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too.

In fact, this should've been put down years

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. LOL.

That is wicked funny. Watching it tear my precious 'Dan to pieces is amusing.

:D

:rofl: