What's the single stupidest moment in movie history?

[Arkham House]

I think this category requires a major film, with a serious budget. Anyone can pick apart grade-Z crap like "Plan Nine From Outer Space"--but here, I'm asking for something from a major studio release, but showing a sheer stupidity and swinishness that words can't quite describe... I don't mean just something like a wristwatch in the American Revolution--but something that somehow symbolizes the meretriciousness of the film in question... On careful consideration, my vote goes for the end of "The Green Berets", with John Wayne consoling a young Vietnamese boy while watching the sun setting--*in the East*... Can anyone top that?

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Top Gun; Nemesis; Last Samurai; UltraViolet

[jobycom]

2. That's four movies and infinite moments.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. And I suffered through every fucking one of 'em, too.

[jobycom]

21. ..

:spray:

I almost liked one of them.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

10. I certainly agree with Top Gun. Didn't see the rest of them but

thanks for the heads up for future rentals.

[Seabiscuit]

77. The Tom Cruise version of "War of the Worlds".

Horrible acting of an even worse script.

[evlbstrd]

3. The end of "AI."

It really pissed me off.

[NewJeffCT]

5. Wasn't there a movie called: Krakatoa: East of Java

when it was really west of Java (or vice versa?)

[CBHagman]

55. True, as Leonard Maltin's guide points out.

I was taken to see that film as a kid.

[wickerwoman]

6. "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"

You know it's bad if I can still pick it out after watching the movie only once more than 15 years ago.

It's when the husband falls down the stairs and then calls up to his wife in a perfectly calm and uninflected voice, "Honey, I think I broke my leg."

[fishwax]

7. how about john wayne at the end of "greatest story ever told"

according to legend, when Wayne, playing a centurion at the crucifixion of jesus, first looked up at christ on the cross and uttered his line--"truly this was the son of God," the director said "that was good john, but could you put a little more awe into it?" So John said "aw, truly this was the son of God." :rofl:

[Arkham House]

16. LOL!!!

[undeterred]

8. Dirty Dancing: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner"

Patrick Swayze: Beautiful body, great dancer, should not be given speaking parts in movies.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

9. Titanic-people in water above the freezing temp. covered in ice

you'd think cameron could have hired someone to check out basic science with the $300 million budget he had

[tinfoilinfor2005]

12. This past March I took the ferry across the Bay of Finland from

Tallinn Estonia to Helsinki Finland and back (at midnight). From the window all I could see was miles and miles of floating freezing ice chunks. I was absolutely certain that I would catch a glimpse of Leo floating by clinging to a hunk of wood. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[jobycom]

22. The water was 28 degrees, which according to my science book is freezing

"The majority of deaths were caused by victims succumbing to hypothermia in the 28 °F (−2 °C) water."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic

[Guaranteed]

37. Your post confounded me, for a moment...

Because you'd think that 28 degree water would be solid.

But, it was saltwater. :)

[jobycom]

43. Plus, a large, moving body of water wouldn't freeze solid

very quickly, but a small amount of water on a person's face would. The air was below freezing, but the mass of water would take a long time to lose it's heat, especially since it was in motion. The colder surface would be stirred with the warmer water below. Even at the North Pole ice-breaker ships could reach it because the water below wasn't frozen. The earth below the water is warmer than the air above it.

[NMMNG]

28. The water at the time of the sinking a few degrees below freezing

That is why most of the people who went into the water died (they didn't drown--they died from exposure).



Impact tests conducted by Felkins show that the steel from the Titanic was about 10 times more brittle than modern steel when tested at freezing temperature -- the estimated temperature of the water at the time the Titanic struck the iceberg.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1997/12/971227000141.htm



For Titanic's steel, that temperature was determined to be 25 to 35 degrees F . The water temperature that night was below freezing.
http://www.writing.eng.vt.edu/handbook/exercises/exercise5.html



Sunday, April 14, 1912

<snip>
10:50pm

The ocean water temperature is about 28 degrees (F).

<snip>

11:40 pm

Titanic strikes iceberg!

http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/7574/timeline.htm

[sarge43]

36. I think the point is the ice

Salt water doesn't congeal as quickly as fresh because its freeze point is slightly lower.

[scoey1953]

11. the creation of "Dumb and Dumber"

nuff said.

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

44. Sadly trumped by the creation of "Dumb and Dumberer"

[ContraBass Black]

13. "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

:D

[TimeChaser]

20. Well, it's better than

DO NOT WANT!

:D

[ContraBass Black]

63. ?

Where is that from?

[TimeChaser]

72. Bad subtitles on a Chinese bootleg,

had Vader yelling "DO NOT WANT!"

[SlavesandBulldozers]

79. that was pretty bad. i have to admit.

i laughed at that part when it happened.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

14. WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!

Red Dawn was a real suckfest- each single scene had is own unique moment of idiocy.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

61. Worst movie of all time for me

I remember reading the IMDB messageboard for "Red Dawn" and it seems to be a Freeper-favourite. They see it as a realisctic movie on what would have happened had "Carter won in 1980." :eyes:

[LeftyMom]

15. Assimilate This! or how to fuck up a movie against all odds

Okay, what was the point in wasting two Star Trek rarities, world class actors (after all, who couldn't make a good movie with Patrick Stweart, Alfre Woodard, James Cromwell and Alice Kreige?) and a really good script, by breaking up their great work with badly acted underwritten from the supporting cast and then adding insult to injury giving Worf some cast off Ahhnuld line? The deflector dish scene is quite possibly the worst in the movie, although watching Marina "Captain, I sense bad acting!" Sirtis try to act drunk was really painful as well.

God, but I'm a geek.

[Arkham House]

17. Me, too...

...but there have been worse Trek moments...like Shatner shouting, "KHAN!!!", nd hearing the sweat in his voice... By the way--ever wonder how the James Cromwell character became that zombie pretty-boy centirues later, in the original ST episode in which "Cochran" was introduced? I've often wondered if the pretty-boy "Cochran" was an early android... Talk about geekdom...

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

18. but i love 'khaaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!!!!!!!!!'

pure cheese, but it's great

[fujiyama]

31. I love when Stewart immitates that part

on the Daily Show.

[sarge43]

35. Is this the geek table? May I?

I kept wondering how Cochrane, La Forge, Riker and the Phoenix (Picard said he saw the ship at the Smithsonian) got back to Earth, especially back to the launch site and in time to greet the Vulcans.

[LeftyMom]

48. It was in the script

:P

[sarge43]

52. Right, gotcha.

Movie magic.

:silly:

[ContraBass Black]

62. Oh, the geek table. Let me sit down and rant.

I have a problem with LaForge's role in Nemesis. Namely, that if they hadn't let him stand at his bridge station, he wouldn't have been in it. Data and Geordi were supposed to be best friends, but the movie centered around Data and Geordi just made repeated camios. At the end, LaForge seemed to be the least affected.

[LeftyMom]

69. Nemesis is a crime against cinema.

I would rather watch The Omega Glory and Skin of Evil on an endless loop than watch that turd again.

[Hissyspit]

19. Dirty Dancing when the Jennifer Grey character witnesses botched abortion

and decides that that is the time to run off to lose her virginity to Patrick Swayze.

Blech.

[LibDemAlways]

73. And she apparently manages to lose her virginity

while keeping her panties on.

That movie is so poorly edited, it's entertaining to sit and watch for all the gaffes.

[Broken_Hero]

23. batman and robin, end of story, shit ....n/t

[Generic Brad]

26. I did not see your post before I added mine!

I suspect we are referring to the same Batman and Robin movie. Curse that Miss Kitka!

[Broken_Hero]

27. no, not that movie...

Ms. Kitka was the original episode movie. The one I'm reffering to was the one with Arnold and George Clooney...

[DawgHouse]

24. farting in Blazing Saddles.

I know many who find it a classic moment. :)

[begin_within]

39. Sometomes on TV the sound is edited to be burping instead

[Generic Brad]

25. The original Batman movie from the 1960's

I defy anyone to come up with a cheesier scene than Batman removing a shark chomping on his leg with a spray of Bat Shark Repellent while he is clutching a ladder dangling from the Batcopter. Not only does the shark not injure him, but it doesn't even puncture his grey tights!

[BulletproofLandshark]

29. The rave scene from Matrix Reloaded

Totally pointless. To this day I think this scene should've been deleted and replaced with a live-action version of "Final Flight Of The Osiris" (which would have to be moved to the beginning of of the movie). I think that would've made the movie at least a little better.

[billyskank]

30. It was just an excuse for a totally unsexy sex scene

Keanu Reeves in a sex scene somehow doesn't seem to work.

Quite a cool tune though.

On edit: I like how they called that place the "temple," although there was nothing even remotely resembling worship of any kind of deity, or even anything religious going on there whatsoever. Looked 100% hedonistic to me...

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

32. Whatever, I'm down for watching anything involving Carrie-Anne Moss.

[ghostsofgiants]

49. It was a rave...Don't you know anything about DJ worship?

[Guaranteed]

40. Man, you hit it. I remember, watching that very scene IN the theater,

and at the same time thinking to myself, "What the HELL is this BULLSHIT???"

I damned near walked out.

The Wachowski Brothers are just idiots (yeah, V was alright because of its liberal indulgence). They remind me of a set of twin brothers I was fairly close with in college that were into movie-making and just recycled garbage ideas.

[nytemare]

65. Tinman, I love your sigline pic.

A thing of beauty, that pic is!!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[terrya]

33. Every single minute of "Armageddon"

[sarge43]

34. Battlefield Earth

A smorgasbord of stupid, starting with a society capable of interstellar travel using the most inefficient power source available, human slave labor, to JP4 still being viable after 1000 years.

[warrior1]

38. Ghost

when patrick enters whoopies body to be close to demi.

[begin_within]

41. Jurassic Park - kids find a buffet of desserts, and eat the BROCCOLI

Also in the same movie Jeff Goldblum stating that Disneyland opened in 1956 - with all his money, Spielberg couldn't be bothered to fire a fact checker.

[sarge43]

78. Speaking of needing a fact checker - two words:

Pearl Harbor.

[begin_within]

42. In "An Unfinished Life," cats sit calmly and watch a gun battle.

The recent movie with Robert Redford. Two house cats watch a gun battle just yards away, and when it's over, meow for milk. Are you kidding me? Any cat would have headed for the hills at the first gunshot and wouldn't have come back for several hours.

[leeroysphitz]

45. "Interview With The Vampire" when they cast Cruise and Pitt....

Can't think of a better way to turn what should have been a great film into one that is instantly forgetable.

[Giant Robot]

46. I heard they made a Highlander 2

somewhere along the line, but I doubt it cause I would have heard of it and seen it by now....

*Sarcasm* alert!

[LeftyMom]

50. Thanks, I *had* repressed that

but it's all coming back to me now. I'll need years of therapy to recover. Aliens. Aliens for fuck's sake! :cry:

[Giant Robot]

51. Methinks the producers had pics of

Sean Connery with goats to get him to do that film (if it *really* was made).

As for therapy, give me a call. I offer DU discounts!

*Shakes my head and mumbles* Aliens...what the fuck....

[sarge43]

57. You should be making big bucks soon

Highlander 5: The Source is in post-production

There is no justice. Firefly/Serenity is dead, but this hulking mouth breathing idiot goes on and on and .... :grr:

[Giant Robot]

58. Where's my gun.......

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[El Fuego]

47. "Flight Plan" - most nonsensical plot ever

[jobycom]

53. Decent plot, but the ending was done so poorly it killed the whole thing

A better writer could have pulled it off. The writer left too many things to coincidence, though. Though, to be fair, it was as tight as most JFK conspircay plots, and lots of people fall for those.

[El Fuego]

56. As long as you don't think about it too much - *spoiler*

They killed the husband of a airplane design engineer, just so they could put a bomb in the locked metal coffin. Metal coffins can't be ex-rayed, and apparently they're not opened and searched! But they could have killed ANYONE and used the coffin. Or they just have arranged to send an empty coffin with a bomb inside. They were in cahoots with the funeral home, after all.

And if the funeral home put the bomb inside the coffin and locked it with the digital combination lock, why not just give the Evil Air Marshall the combination while you're at it? All he needed Jodie Foster for anyway was to get down into the cargo hold and open the locked coffin.

His own people put the bomb in the locked coffin in the first place, but they didn't give him the combination??????!!!!

:banghead:

[jobycom]

60. You can be forgiven for missing a few points, given the script. SPOILERS

The funeral home didn't have the combination--that's why the director had Jodi Foster enter the numbers. (Not sure why that's the case--here's one of the places better writing would have come in handy). They chose Foster because she designed the plane, not just so she could open the coffin. The whole plot involved framing her for the whole thing, making it appear as though she had plotted all along to get the hijack money through the complex plot.

It could have worked, but as you demonstrate, it was so poorly written that the basic premise wasn't very well presented. Also, there were elements that were too obviously left to chance. Like, sneaking the girl onto the plane--how would the hijacker have known that would happen? For all he knew, the daughter would have entered the plane screaming, becoming visible to everyone, thus destroying the whole plan to make Foster seem insane.

To me, the basic premise of a frame-up to get away with the hijacking worked. Four people were involved--air marshal, flight attendant, funeral director, and whomever told the pilot that the girl had died. Making the woman appear insane over her child works. Even hiding the girl on the plane, smuggling the explosives onto the plane, etc, worked. What didn't work was the poor explanations for it all, and the abrupt, almost incidental revelation of the actual goal at the end, which was too weak to have a strong impact. Bad writing and directing. A good writer and director would have made it work. They would have either shown how the hijackers had ensured that she would sneak the child onto the plane, or else plotted everything else so tightly that the audience just trusted that they would.

Instead, the writer relied on the audience just believing the old standard device of a conspiracy so clever that it worked flawlessly. It failed badly, in this case.

Not to mention Peter Skaarsgard was terrible for that role. Make him the pilot and Sean Bean the Air Marshall, or just go find Andrew McCarthy and let him play himself, and you might have had enough dramatic tension to make it work. YOu certainly can't fault Foster or Bean for their performances. Skaarsgard was just a TV actor in over his head.

That's my analysis. I liked the movie at the beginning. By the middle it was teetering. It could have gone either way. At the point where the Air Marshal tells the pilot it's all a hijack plot, it fell off the edge. Oh yeah, and what are the odds they would actually wire the money? Another hole that good writing may have been able to fill, but wasn't filled in this film.

[jobycom]

54. Ferris Buehler's Day Off, the "rewind the odometer" scene at the end

They prop the Ferrari up on blocks to rewind the odometer to take off the mileage they ran up. After a while they discover that the odometer isn't rewinding, which leads to a series of events resulting in a one-of-a-kind very expensive automobile being destroyed. Of course, the dumb-ass characters in typical bad-teen movie fashion see this as a positive, a chance for the repressed boy to have a heart-to-heart with his father.

Of course, the best of fathers would barely resist killing a kid for wrecking a Ferrari, so the premise was dumber than dirt. Second, the lame reactions of the friends was as believable as Bush's WMD claims. The wheels on the car the whole time it was propped up were going forward, not backwards.

But the dumbest part of the whole ridiculous scene? If you run that model Ferrari in reverse, the odometer DOES run backwards.

Damn, I hated that movie. Ever single predictable formulaic conservative wet dream moment of it.

[Yollam]

59. In "Free Willy"

When the killer whale fails to perform a trick, the audience start SCREAMING and STOMPING and TAUNTING the whale, throwing things, etc. It was so preposterous that I left the theater.

I realize that people are cruel to animals, but the notion that people at a marine park (normally, these are people who LIKE and CARE about marine animals) would turn into a crazed mob like that just seemed idiotic to me.

[tjwash]

64. King Kong--the latest one.

It was like Jackson was intentionally trying to prove how freakin' annoying the over-use of CGI in a movie could actually be.

For corns sake the movie was over three and a half hours long, and I had to turn it off. I hit special-effects overload after 2 hours and started to get bored and irritated. It could have easily been done in an hour and a half, but he just had to keep piling stupid effect, after stupid effect, after stupid effect, one on top of the other.

[Mz Pip]

71. That movie seriously

needed to be edited. That one scene with the attacking bats and the guy who can't shoot manages to shoot all the bats off the other guy without hitting him. Totally laughable.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[nytemare]

66. "The Village"

The whole movie.

:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

[giant_robot]

67. Dune (1984)

Where do I begin? With a $44 million budget, this film delivers the most suck for the buck.

[LeftyMom]

68. It starts with all that rushed and confusing narraration and just gets

worse from there.

That's another one of those movies that's a waste of a good cast, but honestly I think part of the problem is that Dune is just too long and complex a story to be done well in a single feature length film. They could have at least got the effect for the blue of the fremen eyes right though, as the way they did it is just distractingly sloppy.

[giant_robot]

70. The voice-activated weapons killed it for me.

Worse than the interminable internal dialogue. Worse than the portrayal of the Harkonnens as comletely sadistic maniacs. Even worse than Sting's acting.

[Clintmax]

75. "Moaaaaaaddib!"

:rofl::rofl:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

74. Two musical numbers in "Valley of the Dolls"

In particular the Susan Hayward/Helen Lawson "I'll Plant My Own Tree" stage performance with the fake Calder mobile swaying around her.
Runner-up goes to "It's Impossible" by Neely O'Hara/Patty Duke. A really bad song. The only thing that saved that moment was her necklace with a mind of its own.

[Frank Cannon]

76. Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

'Nuff said.