Geesum...I So Fucking Hate the World Right Now! (LONG Rant)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

:grr::grr:

:rant:

First, there are the parents of mine who talk business 24/7 and SCREAM at each other right in front of me--they're arguing over fucking cars. Like I give a damn about your problems! :grr:

Oh, and speaking of parents--did I mention that my mom refuses to accept the fact that I despise her organized religion? "You're only fourteen; you can't possibly know what you believe." So I can't possibly know anything about what I think, but you can? You talk like a FReep, Mom. :grr:

Then there's the whole fucking school. Asinine, every fucking second of it--stupid bastard administrators who don't care that their "honors" system is a corrupt pool of shite mascarading as a "rigorous curriculum." There actually was a guidance counselor--mine, of course :grr:--who said that, "Gifted children don't need to be taught any differently from other children."

Excuse me? I'm dying here because your fucking school administration refuses to admit it has problems, and you say I'm just fine sitting with the most unmotivated slobs--who are only in "honors" classes because of their jumped-up fucking parents who insisted that their children were genii--and considering running off to some school system where I can actually get an education?? I got a 720 out of 800 on the verbal section of the "old" SAT (when there were just two sections, math and verbal) as a fucking eighth-grader, which is better than ninety-seven percent of college-bound seniors, for fuck's sake! I should not be complaining about how fucked up school is! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING ME, YOU BASTARDS, NOT WORRYING ABOUT GWB'S FUCKED-UP "NCLB"--which, incidentally, leaves the nation's best and brightest behind. Good fucking legistlation, you murdering, thieving ignoramuses who call yourselves "legislators."

:grr::grr:

Would you like me to go on about how much things suck right now?? I look forward to meeting with the BEST TEACHER EVER today, like I do every week for "intellectual stimulation," only to find that she wants to go see the damned art show that's being set up in the gymnasium--I go and stand there next to her as she's having the time of her life, while all I want to do is talk with her like we usually do. I'm left feeling like a third wheel, and so bitterly angry at her that I can barely breathe, which saddens me, because I love this woman like anything, and this is one of the few times I've ever been angry with her. But the DAMNED ART SHOW! I don't GIVE A DAMN! I have things to tell you, my friend!

And I stood there like a soldier for twenty fucking minutes! No--half-an-hour!! But I guess I'm just a selfish beyatch--I was jealous of the other people to whom she was talking, fer chrissakes. What the hell is wrong with me???

I think I'm mentally ill...

:grr::grr::grr::grr:

:rant:

I'm sorry, all, but I had to get that out. I'm so bitter and angry and fucked-up, and I STILL HAVE TO FUCKING WORK tonight. :wtf: I swear, if that messed up six-year-old does ONE thing, I might have to strangle her selfish little neck.

:grr:

:cry:

[miss_american_pie]

1. Most righteous venting

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. *grumbles*

Yeah, I fucking know...

:grr::grr:

But I don't get why I'm so angry... 'tis confusing.

:( :( :(

:cry::cry:

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

6. It's masking something

Hurt? Frustration? Isolation? All of the above?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

12. Frustration, for sure.

Frustration because everyone else seems to be angry. Frustration because I can't walk anywhere without falling over people quite literally taking each other's clothes off--and I can't even find someone to love; at least, not someone who isn't 36 years my senior. :( :( Frustration because I love my ex-teacher like mad, like a mother, and yet I'm just always going to be another student to her, and there isn't a damned thing I can do.

:grr:

And now I just found out I'm supposed to work at 4:45, not 5:30.

:wtf:

:cry::cry:

[Hugin]

2. Feel any better?

:hide:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

5. Why, you liddle.....

:grr:

:D :D

:hi:

[ZombieNixon]

3. Take a dump in the school's mailbox.

:evilgrin:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

7. I'd like to...

But they don't have a mailbox. They have individual mail SLOTS.

Maybe I can go find the principal's, bastard ex-jock doing a piss-poor job of running the school as he is...

:grr:

[ZombieNixon]

10. Mail him a cat poop sandwich!

:D

[Mutley]

8. Good vent!

Very passionate. :thumbsup:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

13. Uh, thanks?

:shrug:

:( :(

[Mutley]

16. I just mean great rant.

:D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

18. Oh, I know.

I'm just pissed at everyone right now, and not able to think straight.

:D

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. C'mere, Kid

:hug: :loveya:

Excellent rant, btw. :thumbsup:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

14. Rex...

:hug::hug::hug:

Thank you. For the hug and the compliment.

:D

[Deja Q]

11. Just wait until you enter the workforce...

It's just as bad as high school - worse, rather... bosses who haven't a clue about anything except cutting costs and how to train workers to be team players rather than to to the jobs they were hired to do. And coworkers who love to lie behind your back; with the bosses not caring or not noticing a pattern with those vermin.

I am very close to resigning at this point.

And I recall that, even recently, they told me that they need me.


Well, as a different coworker in another department once told me: "They don't deserve you..."

And she is correct.

Pity the job market is shit, but I'm still lookin' and hoping for the best.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

17. Lovely.

:( :(

How do people get by in this miserable fucking world???

:grr:

:cry:

[Deja Q]

46. Hobbies. There is always something to compensate. The balance.

The balance must be maintained.

Remember that and you will prosper.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

49. I've got several hobbies.

:evilgrin:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

40. Wow Hypno, your just a bundle of sunshine, aren't you? It's too damn

bad that what you and her have said is true. Well damn, now you guys made me depressed. :( :grouphug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

50. Sorry.

:evilgrin:

:grouphug:

[MissB]

15. The good news

is that schools have always treated their honor students like crap.

The bad news is the same. I wouldn't expect it to change. You'll need to find challenges outside of the school system to keep from stagnating until you head off to college. Are community college or university courses an option?

You aren't mentally ill, but you already knew that. Jealousy is a normal human feeling. Call the teacher or email her to talk to her.

Don't strangle the six year old, though. That'd put a bit of a damper on your future plans.



:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

19. How d'you always manage to stay so positive?

:shrug:

:hug:

Thing is, there wasn't anything in particular I wanted to talk to her about--I just wanted to talk. Vent. Like I just did here. And I'm shy in person--the INTJ in me isn't good with personal relationships.

:hug:

[MissB]

28. I'm not a teen anymore.

Teenage angst is a fucking rite of passage to true adulthood.

I hated my life during my freshman year. I lived with my mom, who wouldn't let me go out with friends or go on a date. I couldn't even go to a movie. At the end of the school year, I flew up to visit my dad for Father's Day on a one-way ticket. I did it for my education, really, since the state he lived in had a far superior school district and I knew I wanted an engineering degree (and my backwoods school didn't even offer physics or calculus).

I was a geek during my sophomore, junior and senior years. Plus I worked in the evenings as a cashier at a grocery store. I was so fucking busy at school and in the evenings that my angst was nice and tamped down. My dad moved out of state at the end of my junior year of high school, leaving me behind to finish my senior year. I lived in my car and crashed on friends' couches and was too damned busy to worry about dates, although I did finally manage to start dating (makes it easier when you don't have a parent around that has to approve of each date :D ).

There really is no such thing as a "normal" family or home life. There is no such thing as a perfect school career - leave that image in the movies where it belongs. :hug: You get through it. You find your way in the world and sometimes it sucks and sometimes it is really, really wonderful. It is just life. Embrace the ups and the downs.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

31. Everyone always forgets what it's like to be mad at the world.

They downplay it.... "You'll get over it. Would you like to trade places with me, and see what REAL trouble is like??" Oh, gee, Mom--thanks for the support. I know this isn't the apocalypse, but then again, I never said it was. So glad to know you care.

:grr:

:hug::hug:

[mike923]

20. You'll never be happy....

if you leave your state of mind up to outside forces. You and only you can decide if you are happy or not.

Control things to the best of your abilities that you can control, and accept things that you have no control over. Leave the rest up to God.

I'm praying for you.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

22. I try.

It's hard, though--what the hell am I supposed to do? I only have 14 years of experience to build upon...

I'm agnostic/pantheist, but that's all right. Pray right away, if you want to.

:D

x( x(

[mike923]

34. You're too young to be ....

agnostic/pantheist. Keep an open mind and listen when God calls. He's pretty good.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

35. So they say.

;)

As I said in the OP, though, I've just never felt the pull of religion. Thanks all the same!

:hi:

[mike923]

43. and as i said, you're only 14

one normally doesn't descover they truely do not know very much until they get into their 20's. Sometimes it takes even longer.

[Der Blaue Engel]

97. I find this a little offensive

Even if it turns out to be true that the OP feels differently later, it's very condescending to tell someone they don't know their own mind simply because they're young.

I remember being 14 quite vividly (26 years ago) and being talked to like this was very frustrating and not remotely helpful.

WritingIsMyReligion, trust yourself. So many people don't seem to have the capacity to think for themselves no matter how old they get. It is admirable that you have already learned to do so. :thumbsup:

P.S., Ranting and feeling these feelings is completely normal.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

102. Thank you, DBE.

:hi:

[Evoman]

98. *grin*

I was already an atheist at 14. Still am at 26...

[azmouse]

21. I feel your pain.

:hug: I hated HS with a passion. But stick with it; it's not forever, even if it feels that way now. One of the happiest days of my life was graduating HS and getting out into the 'real world'.
Use your time wisely now; you never get the time back. Read, study on your own and write your righteous rants! There will be a day very soon where you will be glad you directed your frustration into positive pursuits. And on that day you will show the world what tough stuff you are made of. Love ya, kid!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. az...

:hug:

Thank you. I needed that.

I already channel myself through writing and music. But I still ALWAYS feel like nobody understands me, or will ever understand me....

:shrug:

:loveya:

[progmom]

23. i think you're going to go far

:hug:

And boy oh boy do you remind me of...well....me at your age. My teacher was Mrs. Foster - she taught 9th grade English. Hanging out with her was the high point of every week.

I have no advice. I ended up moving to Holland at 15, so I very quickly went from bored and unchallenged to totally overwhelmed. :)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

25. Thanks, my fellow jazzer.

:hug:

I'm not looking for advice--just a humble little pity party. :D :D

:loveya:

[Pale Blue Dot]

26. It never stops.

It does eventually get kind of funny, though.

I'm not a young guy (I'm 38), but over the holidays my father and I got into a huge argument over torture, and he actually said "When I was your age I was idealistic, too, but then I grew up a little."

By the way, when he was my age, I was 17.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

27. Idealistic?

:wtf:

Sorry about that, there. :D

:hi:

[SeattleGirl]

29. You're not mentally ill. You are pissed at being relegated to

the lowest common denominator, which is always the easiest way out for some people. No wonder you're so fuggin' frustrated and angry. Don't blame you in the least.

That is one thing that always gets to me (among many things) -- instead of trying to raise the folks at the bottom to a higher level by working with them, they try to push people like you down, because they don't want to work with you either.

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

32. That's exactly it.

I make the rest of the school look bad. I should be pushed down, apparently.

:grr::grr::grr:

Goddamned dumbing-down of America.

:grr:

:cry:

:hug:

[coffeenap]

30. I can help with the gifted issues--pm me when you feel coherent.

You are not alone! There is a support network out there for extra gifted teens--you are not alone! Do not let it overwhelm your sense of who you are--you know what is true, don't let them kill your spirit! If you are desperate, find help now! People who don't understand true giftedness will NEVER get it! Please write to me--btdt. peace.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

33. I'm not suicidal--just pissed.

:D

But thanks all the same--I'll PM ya soon.

:hug:

[coffeenap]

36. Sorry, didn't mean to say that. I just know how damned difficult

it can be. Best wishes--i will look for your pm, if you are so inclined. If not, search for gifted teens sites--there is support.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

37. I just sent off the PM.

Thanks.

:hug:

[BikeWriter]

38. I hope your venting helped you feel better, Dear...

First, you are a bright teenager. The feelings you are having are pathetically normal for your age. Most everyone gets them at that age. Hang in there, Sweety, and thanks for sharing with us. We're not qualified to get into specifics like Lucy does, but you'll get loads of encouragement here! :)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

39. Writers are always behind fellow writers, aren't they?

:hug::hug:

Thank ya, BW.

:loveya:

[BikeWriter]

42. We artist must stick together, Sweety!

Lots of hugs coming your way, Doll! :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

51. Doll...Hehehehe....

;)

:hug:

[BikeWriter]

96. Considering I am old enough to be your Grampaw...

I will reserve the right to respectfully call you "Doll" until asked not to. ;-)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

103. It's fine.

:D :D

:rofl:

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. Ahhhhhhh...Too bad you don't live closer. You and my daughter would

be good friends I am quite sure.

Keep heart. As a child of miserably unhappy parents who only just decided to divorce after 40 miserable years, life gets better. It sucks having to be a "number" in the school system. Have you checked into placement tests for gifted/private schools? With scores like that, you'd get yourself a scholarship I am sure.

As it stands, I think you have it well in control...I really do. I vent by writing it all down. Some of my best short stories have come that way...and some wicked bonfires in the kitchen sink as well...once I got it out of my system.

:loveya: :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

52. Yes, I am pretty much in control...

Just once in a while I blow....like there. Grrrrr....

Thing is, I really like my classmates here. I do have a lot of contact with other shafted gifted kids. I don't think I could go anywhere where it would be better, save college, but I ain't packing up yet. :D

;)

:loveya::hug:

[Goblinmonger]

44. Hey, it's the weekend

Go home, get drunk....oh, wait, there's that age thing.

Sorry for the problems. Just let me tell you that you most certainly ARE NOT just another student to that teacher. Sometimes we just gotta have some ME time, though.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

53. I know.

:D

And, like I've mentioned, I'm actually pretty shy in person--or at least, I'm definitely not extroverted.

I really try not to be a pain when it comes to teachers. :D :D

And, hey--what are you trying to do??? Promote underage drinking????

;) :evilgrin:

:pals:

[IdaBriggs]

45. If its any help, you might also be going through some hormonal changes.

I have a medical condition that caused me to do the puberty thing in my late teens, early twenties (long story). Anyway, I can tell you flat out that the hormones coursing through your body *will* affect your moods. You may find yourself wanting to fly off the handle at the smallest things, ready to cry because the floor is flat, and then be giggling non-stop over silly nonsense -- all of which seems designed to drive a sane human being absolutely nuts!

And that is before the normal "butterfly" stuff starts kicking in, and you start feeling the draw toward human PHYSICAL CONTACT which eventually will lead to an exploration of yourself as a sexual being -- WHICH I AM NOT ADVISING YOU TO DO UNTIL YOU TURN THIRTY-FIVE AND HAVE LEFT THE CONVENT, ETC!!! (That's a small joke; I'm not giving sex advice here -- just observing that this is part of the rite of passage of becoming an adult, and there are changes that need to be happening within your brain and body to make that possible.)

What can you do to make life a little easier in the meantime? Cataplex B, my friend! And protein smoothies! The Cataplex B vitamins (available inexpensively at your local health food store -- take four in the morning, and four at lunch) may help stabilize your moods somewhat; if this is going to help, you will know within three or four days. The protein smoothies or shakes (one in the morning at least) may help to regulate your blood sugar levels, and I can promise you that THOSE can *definitely* affect your moods, too!

Last but not least, a little meditation can help one keep one's brain focused. It doesn't take long, and ten minutes a day can really "help" keep life in perspective.

Oh, and one more thing: if you aren't getting the intellectual stimulation you need (and let's face it, with the brain, its a "use it or lose it" thing), then maybe you need to start working AROUND the problem, and begin doing some "personal" studying. You seem like a very motivated young person, and maybe picking a topic of interest and then becoming an expert on it could be very enjoyable for you. One of my beloved fourteen year old nieces is nearly a master chef at this point, can sew her own clothing, made her first quilt last summer, and still continues to stun me with her wisdom and insight. She is an amazing person.

Sounds like you are one, too!

:hug:

Best,
Ida M. Briggs

[WritingIsMyReligion]

57. Thank you kindly for the solid advice.

:hug:

I've always been a self-directed learner--I can speak about ten phrases in Irish, I write, I self-taught myself piano until I got a formal teacher last November, I self-taught myself music theory until I got formal lessons in that beginning in February, I know some about medicinal herbs in medieval and modern times (long story there), etc. etc. etc. I've been known to just cruise online encyclopedias, looking random shit up. :D :D

I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever really felt all "happy" about someone in that sexual way--I've admired male beauty, but it's always been beauty considerably older than me. It's a family joke that I'm "asexual"--I prefer to think of myself as, uh, "selective."

:evilgrin:

Thanks again.....

:hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

91. You're 14 and your family's worried that your asexual?

:wtf:

The parents of most 14-year-olds worry that they're sexual!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

104. LOL! They don't actually worry about it...

It's a joke, which I don't mind perpetuating.

:D

;)

[khashka]

47. Rant and rave all you want, my sweet girlchild!

Sometimes it just feels good to say it!

As for your parents, your stuck with 'em. Sorry.

School.... I went through the same thing. The endless frustration of actually having to fight to get a decent education. But college will be different. You'll love college!

I guess work=babysitting? Well, starting tonight I'll be babystting for 24hours a day for a week! (Family obligation.) But talk about feeling homicidal! I had to promise myself I wouldn't take any weapons with me......

Khash.

(Knowing you are a feminist... I just wanna say calling you "girlchild" was not meant to be patronizing. You just make me feel kinda paternal.)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

59. LOL!

I'm a girlchild! :rofl::rofl: Don't worry about it, khash--I often use "boy-child" and "girl-child" in my writing all the time. :evilgrin:

Work does equal babysitting. I'm not good with young'uns--that is, people younger than me, since I'm not exactly ancient :evilgrin:--so it's pretty painful. x( x( x(

My parents and I usually get along pretty well, but these damned hormonal shifts sometimes leave me ridiculously angry at them for no reason whatsoever. x( x(

:hug:

[tigereye]

48. WIMR said

"Gifted children don't need to be taught any differently from other children."

well, in my state they do. I empathize with your situation. Be patient. Maybe you could qualify for some college courses near where you live?

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

60. College courses for HS/college credit = at least a junior.

x( x( x( x( x( x(

And that guidance counselor is a nut, man--what the hell does she know about gifted children??? :grr::grr:

:D

:hug:

[Misunderestimator]

54. Just a few more years until you can turn all that righteous frustration...

into something amazing. You're going to be a force to be reckoned with. :pals:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

61. That's what they tell me.

:D :D

;)

:pals:

[Ariana Celeste]

55. My mom used that argument with me.

I was interested in Paganism, she didn't know anything about it.

"You're too young to make that kind of decision, when you are 18 then you can." Me-> "So I'm not old enough to choose what my path is unless my path is Christianity?" Mom-> "Oh. Well fine, I just don't want to see any of that crap in my house!"

After a few weeks of seeing that I didn't up and turn evil or depressed, she was willing to read some of my literature. After that she became very open minded about the kinds of things I got interested in... we still had a lot of issues throughout my teen years, but today we are great friends, and I feel I can talk to her about anything.


:hug: Hopefully things will get better for you. It's tough being ahead of the others in school and even tougher when you don't have much of anyone to understand where you are coming from. I was there. :(. :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

62. It seems to be part of the teen condition to feel misunderstood.

I don't know what's up with that, but it's true. :D

Thanks for the hugs....

:hug::hug:

[Random_Australian]

56. Nice rant, let it all out. I was the only smart bastard in my school for

a few years, I hated it too. Only had it for a shorter time though.

Are you in the middle of redneckland too?

:hug:

Edit: Don't know what you believe when 14? Why the fuck not? You may believe something else in future, but that doesn't take an iota from what you believe now.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

63. I'm near Portland, Maine, so definitely not redneckland.

:evilgrin:

Because I'm still supposed to be her baby girl? :shrug: How should I know why?? :D

:hug:

[Random_Australian]

66. Not redneck is something at least. Anyway, what is this religious

schism? Sounds interesting :evilgrin: .... if you want to rant about that it is.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

68. Not really a schism, actually.

Most of the time she leaves me alone. But she says she's "bothered" by the lack of religion in my upbringing--which, if you think about it, is her fault. :evilgrin:

:rofl:

[Random_Australian]

73. Too true! There is a thread with me as the author offering free hugs if

you want some!

Anyway, "lack of religion" - just sleep on a bible. It converts all the blasphemous heathens. :silly:

Wait - are you a heathen/heretic or just 'not religious enough' - if so you could always become a fervent muslim/bhuddist/mulsim bhuddist. Or a pagan. Wow! Worhip the ancient Egyptian Gods and see what she does! :silly:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

75. I'm a pantheist /agnostic/ spiritualist /satanist /heathen.

In other words, a whole bunch of nothing.

:evilgrin:

[Random_Australian]

77. *chuckle* I still like the Egyptian Gods idea.

So is the mater proper fundy or just organised normal?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

79. Lapsed RC.

Who likes to pretend she's still a devout.

(Me: :rofl::rofl:)

Don't get me wrong, she's very liberal, very tolerant. But her ability to stick with the popes despite all the evidence against them astounds me.

:crazy:

;)

[Random_Australian]

83. Dresses in white, therefore good.

Good that she is a liberal though. One other DU'er was very unlucky with one of her parents.

But yes, I know what it is like. My 1/2 brother will stick with the Pope forever.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

84. Some people....

:D :D

[Random_Australian]

86. Oh well, When it comes to religion, we Aussies view you as basically

nuts. The fundy parts of my family have no problem what-so-ever with my atheism. Not one iota.

I don't think atheists + fundies goes so well in America. Or so I heard.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

87. Yeah, I heard that somewhere, too.

:crazy:

:rofl:

[Random_Australian]

89. Are you bieng serious?

I am confused.

[Random_Australian]

92. I should say that I mean that do you, or do you not, have fundies and

atheists that get along?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

105. Very few fundies get along with atheists.

VERY few.

:D

[Maine-ah]

101. any place in Maine is redneckland, it's Maine.

some are just deeper in redneckland (like myself) than others.

I'm surprised considering the area you're in that there isn't more support for the gifted and talented students. Are there any "alternative" schools in the area? We've got a couple up here which have a good sized student body.

BTW, about the whole "god thing", I knew way before I was 14 years old what I believed. You can know yourself at that age, though most teens don't.

Good luck WIMR. :hi: :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

106. I'm in the Greater Portland area, so it's not rednecky.

Okay, if you go out to Buxton or something it might be, but I do pretty well. :D :D

No alternative schools--just private ones, i.e. Cheverus, Waynflete, etc.

:D

Thank you!

:hi::hug:

[AwakeAtLast]

58. I got the same "gifted student" shoot down, too

And what did I become? A TEACHER!!!! :eyes:

:hi:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

64. LOL--Now THAT'S stickin' it to the man!

:evilgrin:

:hi:

[MiniMandaRuth]

65. I have many of your same emotions...

:hug:

Just look at the picture of that older guy you like and think about some things... Then write or play the saxophone.

You got the real blues.... and the real blues are the worst kind, but they come out best in song.

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

69. What's with you and the sax, girlfriend?

You know it isn't my main instrument. :D :P

:hug:

Thanks for the reminder, btw. Pictures, here I come.... :loveya: :evilgrin:

:pals:

[MiniMandaRuth]

93. Eh.

I like it... and it's cool... You know, rip off an awesome blues solo, then come in, cryin' to your mic...

(Sorry, I had that dream once)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

107. Hah!

I like sax very much, but playing the bari is tiresome sometimes. Give me my ivories, or a nice, LIGHT clarinet.

:P :D :P

:hi:

[WCGreen]

67. You are fourteen....

You are suppose to rant and rave....

It's your freakin' job.....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

70. Still, it's an annoying job.

;)

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

71. Damn, you bring back memories

I absolutely HATED high school. Just a bunch of bullshit, pain, and alienation for 4 years. Of the 1000 kids in my senior class, I speak to 1, 27 years later.

Of course I spent the next 10 years in a drunken/drugged out haze. But going to college in your 30's is the best!

But your rant is great, and you are obviously a gifted writer. Turn that angst into the gift of words...

:hug:

RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

72. Everyone likes my rant.

Constructive anger? :D :D

Much love to you, RL....

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

74. and to you

Here I am just after graduation. Scary.



RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

76. You look like a couple of renegade teens I know.

;) ;)

:pals:

[RetroLounge]

78. Yeah, renegade is a good term

Grew my hair long and hung with the musicians and stoners, but got straight A's and National Honor Society.

Hated everyone and everything, actually I still do :rofl:

RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

80. Some things we just never grow out of.

;)

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

81. You are only young once

but you can be immature forever...

:rofl:

RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

82. HAHA!

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

85. See, you're laughing and smiling

Keep it up, makes the man wonder what you are up to...

:evilgrin:

RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

88. Hehehehe...

Thanks, RL.

:hug:

I'm off to pound some ivories! And keep my mom awake! Sucks to be her!

;)

[RetroLounge]

90. As a teen, that is your job.

:hi:

Play some Jerry Lee for me...

RL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

108. Pffffffffft!

:rofl:

I'm not that good. I only started 5 1/2 months ago.

;)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

94. Believe me, it gets worse as you get older.

Here's a :hug: and a pic you might like:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

109. Bitchin' awesome pic!

:woohoo::woohoo:

Thanks, SA.

:hug:

[Jean Louise Finch]

95. You're not mentally ill!

Regarding your frustrations with school, that was definitely me in middle school. Then I got to high school, which (honestly now) changed my life and my perspective on it. The high school I went to was a public school, but part of the "Coalition of essential schools" which is basically a new way of looking at high school -- it's based on the recognition that everyone has something to offer to the school's community, not just the "smart" kids. Students as teachers, students as learners; teachers as learners and teachers as teachers. It was all heterogeneous grouping, no honors track, no accelerated program. The whole experience really changed my life, as it made me confront my own prejudices and the way I valued my classmates. I think it's a lot harder to do when a school isn't set up like that -- it took most of my freshman year for the kids who had been labeled "dumb" from the start of elementary school to start feeling comfortable participating in class discussions because they weren't afraid of being laughed at. Most kids in a high school environment are non-participatory, I think, because they are afraid of being laughed at.

Anyway, my point is just to try and focus on high school as a social experience, not as a strict academic environment. As much as I learned about calculus, American history, public speaking and physics, I learned ten times more about the people I was in school with, who i otherwise would not have been exposed to had I been in an honors program with a bunch of other booksmart kids. There's lots of different "smart" and not everyone excels in an academic environment, so try and see your fellow students in that light. Maybe it'll make you feel a bit better.

Keep writing and I hope your tomorrow is much better than your today!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

110. Today's been all right.

Nice and sunny, and in the 70s--in Maine in only May! :woohoo:

I try to make it as social as I can, but I'm inherently non-social--growing up as an only child whose social experience has been with adults, not agemates, did that to me. ;) I can be relatively social in school because, even when I'm miserable, I know that I can do well in school. And I'm the most social with other honors kids, since I can relate to them the best.

:shrug:

:D

:hi:

[Evoman]

99. You remind me of yours truly at fourteen

Except I didn't now nearly as much about politics.

Can this old timer (haha...26 years old) give you some advice?

1)High school is shit and serves the common denominator. Do what I did...I simply taught myself. Go to the library and get some of your own books on subjects your interested in. I did my own research on astronomy, biology, and physics before I even TOOK those classes. Shit, if your smart enough...forget library books and see if you can get your hands on some University level journals.

2)Your parents know a lot, but unlike most people think, they aren't the end all and be all. I was basically smarter and wiser at 14 then most of the idiot adults I know. When people treat you like a kid, let them. Let em think that they know more or are smarter than you...then when they turn around, give em the finger behind their back ;)

3)I was a geek in high school. Big time. Nobody ever dated me. When I hit university I did the male-version of blooming. I made some friends that were girls...they really helped me to talk to girls. I found out that girls aren't these scary godesses but humans like me....I lost a lot of my shyness that way. By 24 I could basically have any girl I wanted lol. If you were a guy, maybe I would be better able to give you concrete advice in the love life department...never experienced dating as a girl ;). Just remember: don't do anything that causes you to lose respect for yourself. Always improve yourself by physcial excercise and mental excercise...and the rest will fall into place. God..now I sound like some freakin motivational speaker...sorry lol.

4)Again, high school is shit and once you get out, its like a breathe of fresh air. Think about it...if your smart enough to get those SAT scores, your smart enough to get scholarships. Then you can go FUCKING ANYWHERE. Seriously...another state, another country..hell, go to Europe or come visit me in Canada.

5)Hell, I'm impressed with you and I don't get impressed easy. I've seen you at the religion and theology forum and to me, you have better reasoning skills that a lot of the people in that forum. Hell, I didn't even know you were fourteen. Ha...and don't take my advice too seriously..I'm still a kid myself according to some of the people around here.

Later ;)

Evoman

[WritingIsMyReligion]

111. It's Evoman, still the R/T playwright!

;) :evilgrin:

1) I've done research on many things individually for my writing--medieval culture, medicinal herbs, all sorts of random shit. I taught myself piano until I got formal lessons starting last November, and I taught myself music theory until about the same time. Online encyclopedias are my best friends. :D

2) Yeah, my parents do know a lot. They just drive me crazy sometimes--just as they know they're supposed to. ;)

3) My problem isn't that I'm a geek--I am, but I've never given two shits about that. It's that....I don't know....everyone looks despicably immature. Well, they ARE HS boys--can't expect them to act any better than dogs much of the time. :D And I go much more for personality than for looks.

4) Well, I'll be free in three years now. I want to go to some place liberal, eccentric, relatively insane, and cultural. I love Maine dearly, and I love the ocean far too much to be separated from it for a long time, but I want to go away for a while.

5) Thank you. :hug:

:hi:

[Skittles]

100. you are not mentally ill, my sweet

you are one of us few folk who actually live in the real world and see how badly things suck. In time you will learn to compromise to lessen the imapact of said absurity because believe me, there is not much you can do about it.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

112. It's hard to be the only sober person in a room full of drunks, I guess.

Our country has been inebriated for five years. We're going to have a hell of a hangover come midterms.

:D

:hi:

[Skittles]

123. young people like you give me hope

I LOVE seeing you youngsters here on the DU; as disillusioned as you are you give me hope that all is not lost. :hi:

[otherlander]

113. I know what you mean about school....

except you sound like a way better student than me. Doesn't it just seem like schools are just there to PROGRAM us, to train us to conform and succumb to the heirarchy? And then to ship us off to become their little producer-consumer units and work for the corperations. Who, in turn, get rich off the fruits of our labor, and pay their taxes to the government, which in turn mandates public education, and perpetuates the whole goddamn mind-disabling cycle of conformity...:banghead:

And that's rediculous to say you don't know what you believe! I mean, I was only 11 when I became a vegitarian...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

115. Thank you, and welcome to DU!

:toast:

Yes, I do feel like I'm being programmed... Fortunately, I seem to be too bohemian (writer, jazz-lover, musician, general arts fanatic, progressive mini-activist, anti-organized-religionist, etc. :evilgrin:) to be dumbed down.

:hi:

[otherlander]

117. Cool. Beat the system!

:applause:

Do you write stories? I write poems but I've never been able to get any of them published...Still trying!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

118. I write it all.

Editorials for the school paper, letters to the editor, poems, short stories, novels, essays, discourses, journaling...

:D

[skygazer]

114. Gotta tell you, that's a great rant

And I'll tell you something else - I can honestly say that I've used nothing I learned in high school in my adult life except for some social stuff. That's rather depressing but I think it's because I wasn't stimulated in the least. Sounds like you're in the same boat.

My advice - slog through it. Try to stimulate yourself (some sick bugger on this site is going to giggle uncontrollably at that line but I think you'll know what I mean). Use your writing to travel away from the frustration, read, expand your mind and hang in there until you can go to college where it's much better, especially for a clever mind. I went to school in the 70's - not much has changed, I'm afraid.

As for family, everyone's family is fucked up. And when you're a teenager, you're at a point when you need to start feeling more like an adult and less like a kid and it's a tug of war because your parents have a hard time seeing you that way. Don't argue about the religion thing - just go with it with a little internal smile because you KNOW you know your own mind.

You're one of the brightest, most articulate young folks I know. Hang in there, don't give up, take deep breaths and remember to look at the humor around you. Because even in such things, there is humor, the humor of the absurd. One of the more amusing types, I find.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

116. Thank you, sky.

I've got no choice BUT to slog, it seems....Oh well. College will be a trip and a half, I'm sure. :D

I've got the humor of the absurd down all too well...

:shrug:

:D :D

:hug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

119. You dump all you like

Beats hell out of downing a bottle of Boone's Farm in the bushes then doing donuts in the community-college parking lot.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

120. LOL!

:rofl:

Thanks. I needed that.

:hi:

[Name removed]

121. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

122. Well, they say I'm quite probably brain damaged as well.

Thanks for your reality-check.

:sarcasm: