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"If you dig it, don't do it"

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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 08:39 PM
Original message
"If you dig it, don't do it"
Edited on Mon Apr-03-06 08:43 PM by mac56
Inspired by this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

Hey I was under the weather and I wasnt getting better
So I went to get a physical check
And when I went to the doc it was a heck of a shock
He told me, boy, you are a miserable wreck
He said your livers all swollen and your stomachs got a hole in it
From drinkin' too much for too long
And theres a good indication youve got bad circulation
'Cause your blood pressure's almost gone

And you got no reflexes in your solar plexus
When I tap you on the top of your knee
He said your pulse aint steady and your lungs getting ready
To collapse every time that you breathe
And at the rate youre goin' all the tests are showin'
Boy, youll never live to get old
But I came up with a plan to make you healthy again
But, boy, you gotta do what youre told

Thats when he told me

If you dig it
Dont do it
And if you like it, better leave it alone
And if its too much fun, that outta clue you, son
That youre probably doing something that's wrong
And Im surprised at you and all the things you do, boy
'Cause that aint what your body is for
And if you think its bad so far wait til after this guitar
Cause the doctor said a whole lot more

He told me, cut out your boozing, quit them drugs you been using
And dont be smoking no cigarettes
And you know lovin' a stranger nowadays, boy,
Man, it's just like playin' Russian roulette
And get the grease out your diet, better broil it, dont fry it
And dont you eat no more bar-b-que
I wouldnt tell you no lie, take this rule and apply
Now, son, listen to what you better do

And then he told me

If you dig it
Dont do it
And if you like it, better leave it alone
And if its too much fun, that outta clue you, son
That youre probably doing something that's wrong
And if its too good to you, well, dont let it fool you
'Cause youre playin in the danger zone
And I kept waitin' and waitin' for the man to finish
But the sucker just went on and on

And then he told me, cut out all sweets and dont be cramping your feet
In them pointed-toe Italian shoes
And he said boy, lookie here, you gonna damage your ears
Playin' them loud rockin' rhythm and blues
And if a rabbit dont eat it, buddy, you dont need it
Thats the rules on your new menu
You better get you a pen, I aint gonna say it again
'Cause theres a whole lot more that you need to do

You need to lose some weight
You need to stand up straight, boy
Your posture is a terrible disgrace
You need to suck in your gut
You need to tuck in your butt
You need to clear them zits up off of your face

And then he told me

If you dig it
Dont do it
And if you like it, better leave it alone
And if its too much fun, that outta clue you, son
That youre probably doing something that's wrong
And if its too good to you, well, dont let it fool you
'Cause youre playin' in the danger zone
And I kept waitin' and waitin' for the man to shut up
But the sucker just went on and on...on and on...and on...and on...and on...


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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
1. Wow did you write that? Reminds me of my favorite Joe Jackson
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't touch that dial
Don't try to smile
Just take this pill
It's in your file

Don't work hard
Don't play hard
Don't plan for the graveyard
Remember -

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't work by night
Don't play by day
You'll feel all right
But you will pay

No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember -




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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-03-06 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Oh, lord, no.
Didn't mean to give that impression.

It's by Little Charlie and the Nightcats.

I like yours too.
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