Sometimes, my girlfriend and I don't see things the same way

[ZenLefty]

True conversation:

ZENLEFTYGIRL: The kitchen countertop is filthy!

ZENLEFTY: What are you talking about? I just wiped it clean.

ZENLEFTYGIRL: It's disgusting! There's dirt all over it. It's just gross!

I look at the countertop. It sparkles in its cleanliness. Mr. Clean's reflection winks at me.

ZENLEFTY: I don't see anything. It's perfectly clean.

ZENLEFTYGIRL: No, it's not. It's filthy! It needs to be cleaned.

Well, I take out my handy electron microscope and, lo and behold, there are indeed four (4) subatomic dirt particles in one corner of the countertop. I guess I was wrong.

That's about the time she walks in with the high-pressure hose and the 5-gallon bucket of Ajax.

I try to see things the way she does, but sometimes I just can't.

EDIT: We have different vocabulary, too. Words are defined differently in our language. For instance, she says "Crap. I just spilled mustard and now it's all over the floor. It got everywhere.

I picture the entire floor slathered with 2 gallons of mustard. I go into the kitchen and see three drops, 2 millimeters in diameter, on the countertop. Which is now filthy, gross and disgusting. ;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Ahh, women just have bad eyesight

[Bunny]

2. It's in your best interest to just realize that she's almost always right!

:). You and she will both have happier lives when you concede the obvious!!

[trof]

3. Go read "Brain Sex".

It explains all.
Best line: "Men read maps, women read people."

[GOPisEvil]

4. The joys of singledom:

Me: The kitchen needs to be cleaned.
Me: Yup, sure does, but there's something on TV we need to watch.
Me: Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me. The kitchen can wait.
Me: No problem. Grab the Cheese-Its. We're hungry.

[ZenLefty]

6. Sounds like you're eating for two.

:D :D

[KG]

10. a big hi-5 on that, fellow single person!

:)

[rjbcar27]

13. LMFAO!

Very good.

[Don_G]

5. All You Can Do Is Agree Sometimes

:shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

7. Dave Barry wrote about that once

He said women can see dirt "on the molecular level". Guys won't see it until it is big enough to walk away with the house (or something similarly hyperbolic). :D

[BurtWorm]

8. Your disagreement actually started 425 million years ago

with a little crustacean in Heresford, England. See world's oldest penis thread for details (so to speak).

[Loonman]

9. Congratulations, you're both human

Yep.

[MissMillie]

11. Another take on this

Me: Tim, please make sure when you go upstairs that you bring your clean clothes up with you.

Tim: What clean clothes?

Me: The pile of clean clothes that you will trip on if you try to go upstairs.


Later that day,

Me: Tim, please come downstairs for a moment.

Tim (tripping over a pile of clean clothes on the stairs): what?

Me: Weren't you supposed to bring those clothes upstairs?

Tim: Oh, I didn't see them.

[YNGW]

12. Learn These Words....

Shut Up And Kiss Me!

[FunBobbyMucha]

14. You have no other choice, Lefty...

...she must be eliminated.

Good luck with that.