Perspective.

[Ladyhawk]

I've been bitchin' about nothing getting done around the apartment complex. Most of the lights for night safety had burned out and no one had done anything about it for weeks and it had been impossible to get in touch with anyone. Last weekend (after asking nicely in another note), I finally put a terse note on the office door:

FIX THE GODDAMN LIGHTS!
IT'S A SAFETY HAZARD
SHAME ON YOU!

Within a few days the lights were fixed. I shrugged and went on my merry way.

It turns out the caretaker's baby was born with two holes in her heart. Whoops. He owes thousands in medical expenses, $400 just for parking at a hospital. Someone should have taken over his responsibilities, but could the owners of the complex afford to pay someone else? I don't know. The economy sucks. The caretaker shouldn't lose his job or income because he has a sick baby.

Now I feel like the world's biggest heel. :(

Damn.

[Redstone]

1. I'd say an apology would make both of your feel better.

And I think a small gift for the baby (just a onesie or something) is in order as well.

Redstone

[Shine]

2. Hey, you couldn't have known. Give yourself a break.

hope the baby's OK. best wishes to their family...

:hi:

[necso]

3. Even knowing the broader context,

your note seems accurate, if a little undiplomatic (although your previous diplomacy seems to have been unavailing -- and this typically warrants going to the next step).

And imagine what might have happened to the caretaker if someone had gotten hurt or victimized because of the unsafe lighting -- lighting that he was responsible for. (This is a safety issue.)

Plus, you seem to have gotten the desired (and desirable) results, and there was no harm done that I can see, beyond, perhaps, some momentary discomfort on his part -- discomfort at realizing that he wasn't doing his job -- and that this was potentially a serious problem. (If he does get fired, it will be because of not doing his job, not because of you. And it was his obligation to let the effected people know of his unavailability -- not yours to have to find out about it.)

And what? Because of his (possible) momentary discomfort, you're going to torture yourself?

New word: "proportion".

Plus, you can't let some new perspective overwhelm the validity (as it really existed/exists) of the old. Rather, you must balance them (all). And while I appreciate sensitivity in others, I think that this new perspective of your is overly sensitive -- and overly self-critical.

Do some penance ceremony if you must (I wouldn't) -- but drop the agonizing.

[LynzM]

4. Well, tell him what you just told us

If you feel bad, leave another note saying that you didn't know about the circumstances and you're sorry for your tone in the last note you left, and best wishes to the family, etc. JMHO, of course :)

[Ariana Celeste]

5. I agree with LynzM

that's something I'd do for sure, and it will make you feel loads better