What's the WORST present you've ever received?

[Guy Fawkes]

You can go ahead and take timing into the equation, too.

Mine: all I got when I turned 16 was a tie. I've never worn it (though it is nice).

[Chovexani]

1. My sister gives me gift certificates to Ann Taylor for every occasion

Every single year. :puke: I hate that fucking store, everything is so boring and yuppie and...PINK! :puke:

If it was from anyone else, I would just smile and thank them anyway, because I know it's the thought that counts. But my sister is a suburbanite megachurch-going buppie who lives in a boring ass subdivision, as big a Muggle as a person can possibly get, and absolutely hates my gothic style of dress. Ann Taylor is her favorite store and she singlehandedly keeps them in business, so when she gives me GCs for it, it's her little passive-agressive way of saying, "I hate how you dress, shop at a store I approve of because I'm embarrassed to be seen in public with you."

:argh:

Every year I resolve to give her a gift certificate to Gothic Renaissance or Funhouse (two goth stores here in NYC), just to see how it makes her feel for a change, but I always chicken out at the last minute.

[sbj405]

2. Well since it's her fav store, I suggest re-gifting back to her

:evilgrin:

[Chovexani]

4. I should!

What I usually do is just buy a basic black piece of clothing that I could use as part of a different outfit.

One year I bought a black, lacy top from there (this was one of those seasons when pseudo-goth fashion was "in"), and she was so freaking pissed. She cried, "only you could find some Morticia Addams crap at Ann Taylor!"

:rofl:

[sbj405]

5. And there's always ebay

Some mold of your sister would likely pay near full price for that gift card. http://search.ebay.com//search/search.dll?from=R40&satitle=ann+taylor+gift+card

[Chovexani]

8. Wow, I never even thought of that

Thanks for the idea. I know I'll have to use it in a few weeks. :eyes:

[Dangerously Amused]

29. Or: Go ahead and get her the goth gift certificate.

Just make sure she opens her gift after you've opened yours.

Then ask her if she wants to trade.

Then (politely, of course) suggest that next year you each get the other the certificate she really wanted in the first place.

Unfortunately, it takes some people a while to figure out that the gift is supposed to be something the other person would want to have and not something you want the other person to have.

[Starlight]

30. You could regift it to me.

Ann Taylor pants fit me perfectly. :woohoo:

[Chovexani]

43. LOL

Well there ya go...one woman's trash, and all that. :D

[AirmensMom]

3. A second-hand watch.

My sister had worn it for several years. The gold color was worn off the band. It was unwrapped -- my aunt brought it across the country and tossed it at me, saying, "Happy Birthday from your sister." When I looked disappointed (well, it was hard to hide), my mom said, "You always said you wanted a Seiko watch!" I never wore it. That was about 25 years ago.

[LeftyMom]

6. Size 6 pants, shortly after the birth of my son

excchanging them for a 12 was not exactly the highlight of my life.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

7. OMG, This light grey and bright orange vertical strip sweatsuit

like 5 sizes too big, and ugly as friggin sin.

Actually, tags are still on it. Anyone want it? LOL

[tinfoilinfor2005]

9. One Christmas I bought my (X) husband

a London Fog coat and a new briefcase. Figuring they were both very nice presents, but not very personal, I racked my brain about how I could get him something really special. He loved Coors beer, which at that time you could only get in Colorado. A girl I worked with had a son who was coming to Michigan from Colorado for the Holidays. I arranged for him to bring along a six pack of Coors which I would pay for and pick up. She called me as soon as he got to Michigan, and I drove miles through a blizzard to pick up the beer.

On Christmas day, we all opened our presents. The present my then husband gave me was a sweater. As I went to try it on, I noticed that there was a good size hole in the back. He apologized and said that he hadn't noticed that, and I told him that it was ok, I would return it and get another. At that his face reddened and he told me that I wouldn't be able to do that because he had picked the sweater up on a bargain table, and the sign clearly said that there were no returns.

We got divorced the following year, although the sweater had nothing to do with it.:beer: Sorry, long story. Got thirsty.

[Arkana]

10. I was 16. It was a coloring book.

Enough said.

[youthere]

11. A musical toilet paper roller...

that was the worst-from my mother no less.
I don't think there is one piece of crap in the Lillian Vernon catalog that my mother hasn't purchased.

[Dervill Crow]

12. Amagift certificates from my Amway-selling brother-in-law.

First runner-up would be Wal*Mart gift cards from my sister-in-law.

Does anyone see a theme here? :banghead:

[EstimatedProphet]

13. A bottle of Tabasco

Christmas 1993, from my father.
I like Tabasco and all, but really...

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. My husband bought "me" a chain saw for our anniversary two years

ago. I "love" it. ;) There's a string of those type of gifts I could tell you about. :hi:

[Dervill Crow]

20. My husband and I bought each other coffeemakers one year.

Romantic, huh?

By unspoken agreement we now just buy each other cards, one funny and one sentimental.

[Kali]

25. Cool! I love tools

Can't get enough. Hoping (again) to get a reciprocating saw this year.

[CanuckAmok]

46. Um, I think chainsaws are traditionally for the 21st Anniversary.

You don't live in Texas, do you? :scared:

[bif]

15. Real shitty cologne as a 14 year old

Hai Karate, to be specific. I considered it a "Rewrap."

[SeattleGirl]

16. Lacy lingerie

Now, there's nothing wrong with lacy lingerie, except when you're single, not dating, and living in a house so freakin cold in the winter you can practically see ice forming on the inside walls!

My family draws names each year, and four about 4 years running, one of my sisters-in-law always got my name, and she always gave me fru-fru stuff which just did not fit with my life at the time. Such a thoughtful gift-giver she is -- NOT!

[DanCa]

18. pic please (genuflects)

[SeattleGirl]

19. Mistress SeattleGirl will consider your request.

:rofl:

[DanCa]

23. Hail thee seattle girl hail the seatle girl hail thee seattle girl

:grovels: :evilgrin:

[CanuckAmok]

47. you know...I could be in Seattle in an hour...

.....

[SeattleGirl]

61. LOL!

[DanCa]

17. An IOU once honestly.

Ah the joys of a welfare christmas.

[Awsi Dooger]

21. A little football that is supposed to be a remote control

Except it's too big and clumsy for a remote, I already had maybe six remotes and the gift giver knew that, and last time I checked you don't want a remote to be something that can roll away and fall off beds or hide under furniture.

When I returned it to Radio Shack a few days after Christmas the two clerks looked at each other and laughed. "Everybody returns these," the guy said. "It's at least the tenth one today."

[Chovexani]

22. Ya know I always wondered about those

And the singing fish plaques.

[Kali]

27. "I already had maybe six remotes "

That makes you a "collector" and now that is all you will ever get!:D

[Awsi Dooger]

28. One advantage

Whenever the batteries are dead I just find one of the benchwarmer remotes and swap

[Floogeldy]

24. Socks. Fucking SOCKS?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? IT IS CHRISTMAS. MY PARENTS HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY TO BUY ME CLOTHES. AND YOU BOUGHT ME SOCKS!

I was just a young teen at the time.

[Ouabache]

26. A telephone shaped like a Heinz ketchup bottle

just thought of that one. You held the bottle up to the side of your head. It looked like you were talking to a ketchup bottle. I never used it though.

[begin_within]

31. Letiticia Baldridge's book of ettiquette

[Starlight]

32. From my ex-MIL, a homemade gold corduroy blazer made to fit her daughter

who was 5 inches shorter and 50 pounds heavier than me. It wasn't my style, my color or my size. She always made a point of giving me gifts she knew I couldn't possibly use/wear so she'd have an excuse to complain about how ungrateful I was for not using/wearing them. :eyes:

[Hand]

33. Anything from my in-laws...

Generally, they'd give me a shirt or some other article of clothing--whatever, they were universally ghastly beyond belief. It reached the point where I'd open the damn thing with my eyes closed, hold it up, and ask my wife, "How bad is it? Can I open my eyes?"

Thank heavens they stopped sending anything a while ago. Goodwill got some nice brand-new stuff from me pretty frequently.

[Syncronaut Seven]

34. Herpes, at the office christmas party

You just had to ask, didn't you?

[borlis]

35. It's a tie (not one you wear)

The first Christmas after I got married, my MIL gave us a case of Dial bar soap (she was big into outlet stores, etc) and I could never understand why someone would give a gift like that. The rest of my gifts that year were the completer pieces for my good silverware that we didn't get for the wedding (which was a fine gift.) I remember when I opened it and she said something like she didn't know what else to get us. :shrug: The other one that makes it a tie is the year my SIL (hubby's sister) gave me used silk plants for my birthday that she got on e-bay. I told her I wanted some silk vining type plants for on top of my china cabinet, wall unit, etc and she came up with some really ugly looking dusty old thing that stood way upright (no hanging over the side effect like I had mentioned to her.) I was having a garage sale the day they arrived and I put them out on a table to sell and guess what? THEY DIDN'T SELL!!!What a surprise!!

[Starlight]

38. A case of deodorant soap? That truly is a terrible gift.

:wtf:

[borlis]

39. I totally agree. I could NEVER do that to someone.

We also do take daily showers and do not have bad hygiene so it couldn't have been a hint.

[Starlight]

71. Did she seriously think anyone would NOT be insulted by that gift?

I'd be tempted to give her a case of FDS this year. :evilgrin:

[6000eliot]

36. Travel deodorant

[leftstreet]

37. Monogrammed Cloth Handkerchiefs

I mean, JEEBUS! Why would you wanna put a snot-filled rag back in your pocket?

[borlis]

40. My dad!!! I am 40 years old and I still can't believe

my eyes when he does that. Or when he pulls it out to wipe one of my kids with it!!! YUCK!!!

[richmwill]

41. A pack of M&M's and pc game DEMO cd's...

...From my aunt and uncle one year for Christmas. Usually I don't care about the cost of a gift, I appreciate the effort and consideration. But those, coming from a couple who owned 2 $500,000+ homes (one in NY, one in FL- and at the time, that was a hefty price for a house) was just- ugh. After they left, even my MOM said "M&M's??? They bought you a fucking pack of M&M's???", which was beyond-hysterical because my mom NEVER cursed.

[Chovexani]

44. WTF?

That sounds like something one of my stoner friends would do as a joke.

And they were serious?!

[suzbaby]

42. A t-shirt with my own picture printed on the front.

My dad thought it was funny. As if I would walk around wearing a t-shirt with my own picture on it.

[wickerwoman]

45. A library book.

For my fifteenth birthday my (very soon ex-) friend checked out a library book for me. He didn't have the face to give it to me in person so he threw it through an open window in my house. Unfortunately, it was my parent's bedroom and it fell under the bed so I didn't even know I'd gotten anything.

About three weeks later he said he'd gotten a notice from the library that I hadn't returned the book. I asked him what the hell he was talking about and the whole thing unravelled. I refused to return the book, he got fined for it and that was pretty much the end of the friendship. (I donated the book back to the library at their next fundraiser. I don't think I even read it.)

On edit: The runners up are: 2.) A bar of soap from my Secret Santa. Asshole.

2.) the Gollum statue from the big mega-set of the Two Towers. Actually pretty cool if it wasn't transparently part of a present that the giver bought for himself.

[NMMNG]

48. When I was around 11 I got a multipack of panties

And there was the entire family staring at me as I opened them, and my grandfather cracking jokes about my "bloomers". :blush: Note to parents: Children do not appreciate undergarments as gifts, particularly in front of an audience!!!

[seaglass]

49. A gift certificate for a facial from my husband. Six months

earlier I had gotten my first facial ever and I got some type of impetigo-looking infection on my face and in my ears that took me over a month to get rid of.

The gift certifcate was from the same place.

Needless to say I never used it.

[ET Awful]

50. DD'OH meant to reply to OP - delete n/t

[cmf]

51. One of those big tubs of stale popcorn

:puke:

[LynneSin]

52. Any clothing given to me by my Sister-in-Law

the last article of clothing she gave me was this horrible purple demin button-down shirt that had rhinestones for buttons. This was about 10 years ago. My mother has also received horrible article of clothing from the same sister-in-law.

I know that the SIL means well but just doesn't know our taste in clothing. Finally when she complained once to me about why we never liked her XMAS gifts, I told her how mom & I would go shopping and show each other what clothing we wanted because we were so fussy about what we wore. And I recommended the best gift of all: GIFT CERTIFICATES.

She's an educated gift shopper now.

[ET Awful]

53. A cheap plastic "tie-carrier" travel bag for hauling around your ties

as you flit from place to place. Of course at the time, I owned one tie which I wore universally for weddings and funerals, for work at the time I typically wore t-shirts and jeans.

This was from the same grandparents who the following year gave all of us kids a key-chain/pen gift set . . . which isn't so bad, until you realize that the set had their business logo and address printed on it. They were leftovers from what they'd send their customers.

That, and the western-looking dress shirt I got from another grandmother one year. I wouldn't have been caught dead wearing that thing.

[noonwitch]

54. A sweater with an indian head on it

It was from K-Mart in the 70s. It was a tan sweater with a huge indian head made of the same stuff varsity letters are made out of sewn on it. My aunt gave it to me. A few weeks later, my mom asked me "Why aren't you wearing that sweater Aunt Barb gave you" and then started laughing. I think we ended up donating it to the SA.

[Kali]

55. Probably a broken watch

that or the 400 pound "gift" packages of dates. No I can eat a few dates - a pound would likely last a year but what the hell am I supposed to do with 15 or 20 pounds of them - especially CHOCOLATE covered???:puke:

My father gave me the broken watch after my mother died. She had some nice jewelry, especially old Indian stuff. I got an old broken timex - guess it was supposed to have sentimental value, but geez - she went through lots of them - I KNOW it wasn't sentimental to her...

[Midlodemocrat]

56. Anything from my inlaws.

Like for example: First Christmas I was pregnant with their first grandchild - they gave me a car seat.

They gave me green towels for my pale blue bathroom.

My FIL just gave me a bottle of hand lotion, but gave everyone else really, really nice gifts.

I am in Hell.

[soleft]

57. Post It Notes

[bleedingheart]

58. My husband's stepmother is the Queen of Bad Gift Giving...

She has given me the following:

1. Jello molds that you get for free when you buy lots of jello.
2. Ugly ill-fitting clothes
3. Her hand made nightmares...she fancies herself a "crafter" but she is more of a "crapter"...the infamous "thalidabear" she made for my baby son one year was so deformed that it was the running joke of my family for at least a year...
4. The fat woman scuplture she bought me because as she said.."I thought you would like it because it has a big ass like you"...so touching...makes tears come to my eyes...

Now a close second would be my sister...who I stopped exchanging gifts with years ago....she loved giving me crap she didn't want anymore...and one year she gave me the broiler pan from a second hand stove my mother had given to her....and it was covered in burnt grease....a charming gift indeed...

[MountainLaurel]

65. Thalidabear!

Oh my heavens. Did it have Beadazzled little rhinestones all over it?

[bleedingheart]

66. no...but it's eyes and nose were sewn on crooked....but then again

it might have been its poor mishapen head that gave it that look....

[Lydia Leftcoast]

59. When I was a teenager, my mother and I used to argue

constantly about my hair. I have always preferred the long hair look, while my mother has always divided hair into two types: "long" and "cute." Her idea of a great hair style is short and curly, sort of like a 1950s poodle cut, and my grandmother fervently agreed with her.

Around the time of my 14th birthday, I was into growing my hair out, because I like being able to do different things with it.

So what do I get as the main present for my 14th birthday?

A Toni home permanent kit.

I still remember how angry I was, especially when my mother and grandmother laughed triumphantly.

[Felix Mala]

60. A Salad Shooter

I put it back in the "Gift River" and it's been around under other family members' Christmas trees since then.

[lizziegrace]

62. I'm very allergic to most dogs

For Christmas one year, my parents thought it would be funny to get us one of those Radio Shack battery powered dogs. I cried most of the day (5th grade?) and my sisters renewed their "She's the reason we can't have a dog" comments.

I know they thought it was a cute idea and compromise, but it backfired terribly.

I really wanted a porcelain doll in a bride gown as a keepsake. Never got that one!

[jandrok]

63. George W. Bush

Oh wait, you said "present". My bad.

[City Lights]

64. A brown, wooden fish on a metal stand, with metal spikes sticking

out of its body. It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Not even sure what it's supposed to be. It's really heavy because of all the metal and would make a good weapon.

[imperialismispasse]

67. This thread is great

[Jokerman]

68. One of those insipid, singing fish. n/t

[Eagle_Eye]

69. A plastic boot filled with popcorn kernels

[Starlight]

72. My boss sends those stupid popcorn buckets every year.

I regift them without even opening the shipping box. What ever happened to CASH Christmas bonuses??? :cry:

[swag]

70. Last Christmas, my mom sent me a Bible annotated by the "scholars"

of the Church of Christ.