What totally weird, useless talents do you have?

[WilliamPitt]

I can wiggle my ears. More importantly, I can spin plates on my right index finger. That last one was a ball in college; I can spin textbooks, too, and used to mesmerize the tripping people in my dorm into the fourth dimension with the whirling colors and the seeming defiance of gravity.

What stupid crap can you do?

[datasuspect]

1. i am an accomplished juggler

[AlCzervik]

2. i can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my mouth.

[NMMNG]

63. Audrey Horne?

:9

[Lochloosa]

122. Yes...but can you kiss someone, give them the stem and have them untie

it....bar trick my parents perfected

[HEyHEY]

3. I can shoot an elastic band and have it roll back to me

ANd I can bend my elbows inward very far

[DanCa]

4. I know every song lyric by the Boss, (nt)

[Thtwudbeme]

5. I can still post after drinking Jack Daniels.

You?

Michael can do something weird with his fingers, and it's cracking him up.

I think that's pussy...so I refuse to post about it.

[Thom Little]

57. Just like everyone else on this thread

[DainBramaged]

6. Fart like tuba, blow my nose like a fog horn

after people start laughing they realize it's time to start running.:wow:

[johnnie]

7. I predict every set of lottery numbers every week

What a waste of a talent. I wish I could wiggle my ears, that would be cool.

[Left Is Write]

34. You crack me up.

I'm not sure yet if that's a useful talent or a useless one. ;)

[fishnfla]

8. I can nail myself to a cross

the last nail is tricky though

[WMliberal]

107. Wham! Wham! Wham! "oh, my shapely Anglo ankles"

man someone needs to repost that thread

[DanCa]

9. I can speak klingon honest but i am not literate.

My post in english should be evident of that. Qau'plaugh.

[Name removed]

10. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Misunderestimator]

119. I just want to see if I can respond to a deleted sub-thread.

yup

[AngryAmish]

126. cool

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

11. I can make my ears ring by thinking it, but not sure that's a talent lol

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. I'm the world's premier air musician

Which is really cool, because no matter where you go, the band's always set up. :7

I can also recite many Monty Python sketches (and a goodly part of Monty Python and the Holy Grail) from memory.

Oh... and I can play my face. :bounce:

[In_The_Wind]

13. I can make roses bloom in my home during the winter.

[Thom Little]

58. How is that weird and useless, or do I need to see your roses to know?

[In_The_Wind]

71. It's weird because I live in New York. The Winter Sun isn't strong ...

enough to support rose blossoms in December. On the other hand a pot of white petunias are currently living in my kitchen turning pale pink.

I hope you like my roses.


Happy Thanksgiving

[momophile]

14. I can tape all your buns together.

[WilliamPitt]

23. Larry Lester?

[momophile]

25. thank you. nt

[BartInPC]

15. Laughter...

I found out yesterday that I can make my brothers laugh at inappropriate times during a funeral.

[qnr]

21. Sorry, that's a useful talent :) and Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[spacelady]

17. I can blow spit bubbles off my tongue and they float though the air.

Spent a summer in the park smoking cigs and practicing that stupid human trick during junior high. Boy, if I had the flu, That would qualify as a WMD.

[titoresque]

22. hey me too!

I was going to post this as my useless trick....you beat me. My cousin taught me when I was a teenager. I still do it sometimes when I get nervous.

[spacelady]

30. Yes it is fun & relaxing--have you found though, that if you exhibit this

trick, instead of wonder and awe, there there is more of an 'eeww gross' reaction? *sigh*

[titoresque]

35. yes!

I don't get that! They're cute little bubbles dammit! :)

[hyphenate]

18. I can write forwards and backwards

with both hands.

I can also write with my toes, though it requires a little patience to do it. :)

[Seabiscuit]

80. I can only write backwards with my left hand, forward with my right.

[NNadir]

19. I can transport myself to the Andromeda galaxy and back without anyone

noticing.

I do it all the time, and no one ever notices.

[spacelady]

40. Was That You?

[NNadir]

70. I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier but I was out of town.

Out of galaxy actually.

[spacelady]

81. So, was that you I saw at the Andromeda Spa?

[NNadir]

98. That depends. Usually when I'm in Andromeda I radiate in the gamma region

and not so much in the visible spectrum.

What wavelengths were you looking at when you thought you saw me?

[havocmom]

20. Keep checking to see if my Wayward Daughter has replied to this one

hmmm, nuttin yet

[robbedvoter]

24. I can hear voices...what were you saying? useless?

No, I won't tell them nothing!

[Deja Q]

26. I can make up bizarre comments on a whim! Even impromtu!

So, for once, I'm not slower than a zombie on valium! :rofl:

[blue neen]

27. I smell things that aren't in the room.

Cigars is a big one. Marijuana, tar, bleach. Sometimes I smell chocolate, though. That one is nice.

[LeftyMom]

28. I'm really good at air hockey.

:)

[PittPoliSci]

95. me too!

we'll have to have a grudge match. my friends hate playing me, they keep saying that i use the freakin' force or something to block all of their shots. i think i'm just lucky. :hi:

[XemaSab]

29. I can make William Pitt

threaten to quit DU....

...again!

[XemaSab]

31. Oh, and i can also do bird calls

(varied thrush, murre, and acorn woodpecker) and I can touch my wrist with my thumb. and I used to be able to hit D above C above High C.

[LynzM]

89. Holy cow, dude.

That's... well, wow. Damn.

[WilliamPitt]

41. Fuck you I quit a brazillion times!!!111

:P

[Lochloosa]

123. But can you actually make him do it for good?

[XemaSab]

130. Give me some time,

Give me some time.

:D

[Left Is Write]

32. I have this uncanny ability....

to NAIL the triple ones when I'm going for twenties.

[Lady President]

33. I do a solid Janis Joplin impression

Especially impressive because my speaking voice is high and, unfortunately, a little whiny.

[HawkerHurricane]

36. Define "weird".

I can communicate by semaphore. I know morse code, but can only read it by flashing light. I know all the seagoing alphabet flags. I know the (current) phonetic alphabet. I know dozens of facts about military honors and ceremonies. I know which flag goes to the right, and when going to the right means going to the left.

[titoresque]

37. You just did :)

That is all a bit weird.......but not completely "useless" ;)

[HawkerHurricane]

38. Really?

The Navy thinks it's useless, why do you think they retired me?

[havocmom]

39. Maybe it was your walker?

:hi: HH. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

[HawkerHurricane]

68. They let that Texas Ranger use a walker, why not me?

:hi: back.

[Kali]

42. I can flare my nostrils

and the other is kind of gross - I can eject saliva from the glands under my tongue so it shoots out a couple feet - sorta like a cobra.


OMG I can't believe I am going to post this on the freaking internets.

[LynzM]

90. LOL

There's a word for that, I think it's 'gleeting' (sp?)... I knew someone at summer camp who could do that!

[WMliberal]

108. I can do that too!! especially if I eat something tangy and acidic

Aim for their eyes, my friend.

[Montauk6]

43. ID3 Tagging/organizing mp3s

Would that I could channel this into a lucrative career!

[Montauk6]

44. Oh... and I can make creaking noises with the inner corner of my eye.

[Ladyhawk]

45. I can wiggle my eyes back and forth really fast.

I can also balance a stack of quarters on my right elbow and catch them with my right hand before they fall to the floor.

I can also provide 3/4 time with mouth noises while humming the melody and doing fancy things with my fingers...you just have to see it, okay?

[sakabatou]

46. I can invert my shoulders

[New Earth]

47. i can make myself invisible

:D

[Zomby Woof]

48. I can pull heavy objects

[Dangerously Amused]

59. OMG, is he pulling that with his... uh...

Oh my. Ohhhh my.

Can you do THAT?!?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

49. I can cross one eye at a time.

And curl my tongue and wiggle my left ear. I can also sing The Star Spangled Banner one syllable off, like this:

Oh, say can you see by
The dawn's early light, what
So proudly we hailed at
The twilight's last gleaming, whose
Broad stripes and bright stars through
The perilous fight, o'er
The ramparts we watched, were
So gallantly streaming? And
The rockets' red glare, the
Bombs bursting in air, gave
Proof through the night that
Our flag was still there. Oh,
Say, does that sta-ar-spangled ban-ner ye-et wa-ave o'er
The land of the free-ee aaand
The home of the brave --

[Aristus]

50. I can sing "The Rainbow Connection" in the voices of all the Muppets.

And I can name all the emperors of Rome in order from Caesar Augustus to Philip the Arab. (After Philip, it get a little hazy.)

Useless, huh? B-)

[Sannum]

51. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue

:P

[Wetzelbill]

66. are you single?

:evilgrin:

[AlienGirl]

52. I can dilate and constrict my pupils at will and make my heart slow down

For a while I amused myself by trying to get conscious control over all of my "unconscious" processes and involuntary muscles.

Tucker

[LynzM]

91. That's cool...

The heart slowing down I've played around with a bit, but never my eyes. Fascinating!

[Maraya1969]

96. I can do that too. Well not the pupil thing but I can clear my sinuses

by moving the mucus down to my throat and I can concentrate on pressure points that help clear my lungs when I start to wheeze. If I get a stomach ache I can move the gas/food down faster by mediating that something is pushing it down. It doesn't work perfectly because I take Tums and Sinus medication but I like to think I'm helping things by thinking about them

Also someone said they can make their ears ring. I can make mine pop like the do if you hold your nose and breath out. I went to an ear doctor once and he said that is not very unusual and when he tried to hear it he said other people can do it much louder.

I also can lower my blood pressure. I freaked a friend out once who had a home monitor. She took my blood pressure and then I mediated while she took it again and it went down. I can't remember how much it dropped though.


Now I feel weird at the thought of telling everyone these things.

Has anyone seen those monks who come out and sit in the snow and meditate and end up melting the snow around them and sweating? Way cool. (I'm adding this so people don't think I am so weird)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

53. wiggle my nose and sing overtones

at the same time, no less.

[leftstreet]

54. I can play Ping Pong with both hands.

I'm ambidexter...uh ambiedexteri..uh I can play with either hand.

But no one plays Ping Pong anymore.

[Oeditpus Rex]

62. Wanna bet?

Set up the table. :evilgrin:

[alittlelark]

55. I can make 2 faces that crack up an entire room every time.

'The Spaz' and 'The Lizard'. OK, alcohol is generally involved.

I can make myriad voices, but generally only in a booth. I am uncomfortable doing voices in the real world.

I can create almost anything that is nessesary in a pinch. From electrical to props. I made a 2 1/2' mushroom out of tile, paper mache, paint, and a screw down dog tether last week. It's for the 'Willy Wonka' play.... the kids can actually open up the spots and eat out of them!

[TrogL]

56. I've got a hole in my septum

I can make it whistle.

[Thom Little]

60. Now THAT'S talent, baby!

[Citrene]

61. Tip of the tongue to the nose

Write anything upside down, mirror-image, left-handed.
Oh! And, flip past FOX News faster than Bill O'Reilly can say, "Shut up!"

[radfringe]

64. the vulcan "live long prosper" hand thing

with both hands and my toes

[Wetzelbill]

65. My left pinky dislocates at will and often on accident.....

other than that I can do a pretty solid JR Ewing impression, my best is Ross Perot, however. I can do Clint Eastwood as well. Pretty decent Russell Crowe in Gladiator too. A few more as well.

I also know the names of all the Montana State Wrestling champions in all classes from about '93 to 99. Somewhere in there. I am not nearly as good as it anymore as I haven't thought about it or been asked in years. I am can tell you many of the state placers in those years too that's how anal I can be.

For fun I correlate PNAC, Zionism and Manifest Destiny comparisons, I actual may put that all together for an academic study and subsequent paper that I've been approached about undertaking. Not sure if that's all that useful of a talent though.

I know many pro wrestling moves, including a finisher and a submission lock both of my own creation.

I can break arms and legs and choke people out, but I never get in fights so it really has no use to me at all.

[kedrys]

67. I can hang a spoon on my nose

Good at parties from time to time... :D

[Cats Against Frist]

69. I'm a slant rhyme master

I write poetry, and I don't understand it -- it just comes easily for me. I once rhymed "orange oil," and "funeral parlor":

"Bury me with flashlight that goes anywhere.

Bury me with space-saver.

Bury me with pure orange oil.

Bury me with crispest stalagmite wig in the funeral parlor."

Here's a short example of a poem:

The virgins
guard the emergency glass. Opal
is dying
in her basement house. The numbers station
croons to the spy: papa november,
papa november.

Opal:"alea
iacta est."The fate
of the empire rests on this. Gardenia,
Delphinium, Gentian, Mum
save their hula
for some
hangers-on.

[Horus45]

72. Write with my toes.

I can wiggle my ears too.
I can bend my fingers backwards and touch my arm, thumbs too.
Roll my tongue.
Belch on command.

[khashka]

73. I can stick my tounge up my nose

Most people think it's gross, but women find it makes me dateable.

Khash.

[THUNDER HANDS]

74. i can root for really bad sports teams

and not cry

[spacelady]

82. I make my husband crazy by rooting for his alma mater team--

now usually I don't pay attention, but every time I root for the Nebraska Cornshuckers, they lose, so he encourages me to go shopping or take a nap or something.

[gizmo1979]

75. hand trumpet

I can play my hands.amaze your friends with this new talent.

[philosophie_en_rose]

76. I'm ambidextrous and double-jointed. n/t

.

[Awsi Dooger]

77. I can name every Kentucky Derby winner

From Aristides in 1875 to the flukish Giacomo in 2005. If someone names a year it just takes me a second or two to come up with the horse. I even did it once at the museum at Churchill Downs, turning my back to the silks and the names with a small group gathering as I went down the line naming the winners. Once the new Derby winner is known on the first Saturday in May, I recite the list from the outset.

Started out as a lark in high school. I was on a college bowl-type panel against a faculty team and I knew the teacher who would be forming and asking the questions was a huge horse racing fan. Sure enough, he asked one or two Derby questions.

People who quiz me on the names always make the mistake of asking the older years. But those were the ones I memorized originally so they flow in a snap. The more difficult ones are actually the recent ones that I had to add to the list. Plus without a Triple Crown winner since '78 the names fade into obscurity.

Actually, it's not completely worthless. The sportsbooks here put out glasses before the Derby every year listing the names of every winner. One sportsbook manager and I have a decade long tradition. I show up on the day of the race and he quizzes me on 3 or 4 years while looking at the new glass. The payoff is a full comp for two and I'm undefeated.

Just don't ask me now. Too busy with the pumpkin pie already. Plus anyone can cheat on the 'net.

[Seabiscuit]

78. I can put a hand under either armpit and make really gross farting noises

Somehow such talents have not served my career well.

[zanne]

79. I can "Throat" sing

Very popular in Bulgaria. Not so much here.

[trof]

83. Wiggle ears and move eyeballs independently.

As in look left with both, then move left eyeball right to be cross-eyed.
And I'm ambidextrous at it.

[spacelady]

84. I'll bet you have more, you're just holding out on us.

[entanglement]

85. I can multiply reasonably large numbers in my head

Beat that :)

[Chicago Democrat]

86. Ancient Coin expert...

philatalist. numismatist. classicist

[tinfoilinfor2005]

87. I can stand on my hands,

but I don't like to do it often because the soles of my shoes tend to bruise my knuckles.

[Initech]

88. I can play music notes using beer bottles

It's easy - it works pretty much the same way a musical jug works.

[BrotherBuzz]

92. I can turn a paper drinking straw inside out in my mouth...

a useless talent that I don't practice much anymore because paper straws are next to impossible to find. I have yet to accomplish this feat with a plastic straw so I've been tossed on the trash heap of obscurity - struck down in my prime due to technological advances.

[CanuckAmok]

93. Simon LeBon.

He came over for dinner about three weeks ago, and he's still fucking here. He won't fucking leave.

[PittPoliSci]

94. water to wine

my parties rule, by the way...

[lakemonster11]

97. As I learned recently,

I can look at pictures of jaguars in zoos around the world and tell you which ones were taken at the Woodland Park Zoo.

Yes, my friends were mightily impressed by the uselessness of that talent.

[shanine]

99. I can write backwards and

forward with both hands, seems there are a few here that can do that also.

[NNadir]

100. I can write backwards and forewards, but only with one hand.

You make me feel inadequate.

Actually, as I'm sure you know, this is a relatively rare talent, particularly when one writes in script.

I've always loved doing it for people and getting them to go get a mirror. Many people cannot read reversed script.

[shanine]

101. I do have fun with it

write entire letters backwards, sign cards, etc. I discovered this "rare talent" by engaging in excessive doodling in high school.
Can you write just as well backwards? My backwards writing is just as good as my forward writing.

[NNadir]

102. My penmanship backward is not as good as my foreward writing.

But it is clearly legible.

It is interesting that we clearly have dyslexia genes in our family. Although I do not have dyslexia myself, my son clearly does. Both my wife and myself have dyslexic siblings, and dyslexic ancestors. Thus we believe we are carriers on the dyslexia genes. Some genotypes not expressed phenotypically do incur unusual abilities or traits. For instance the unexpressed sickle cell anemia gene confers resistance to malaria.

Therefore I am interested. Is that true in your family? Are you yourself dyslexic? Are members of your family dyslexic?

[shanine]

112. I am not dyslexic

but do have a couple of cousins that are.
Found an interesting article here:
http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s1119739.htm

[NNadir]

117. Thanks for your answer and the interesting link.

I have always thought that this ability to write backwards was genetic, although I know of no one else in my family who can do it.

I have often speculated that the ability is related to dyslexia though. When my boy was learning to write, he often wrote complete sentences backwards - however he could not distinguish (at first) which orientation was correct.

Dyslexia is a known genetic syndrome that involves quite a bit more, actually than the reversal of letters. It is generally not associated with the x chromosome, however, but is thought to involve a number of chromosomes, notably #18.

Interestingly, although the molecular biology of dyslexia is increasingly being elucidated, the school system in New Jersey does not acknowlege dyslexia in any way. It is really, really, strange and difficult.

[Catshrink]

103. I can make two sounds perfectly: a food processor and a dog bark

Hours of entertainment, yes indeed.

[bridgit]

104. i can drive hubby up the wall/shit bonkers talking about my cats...

:rofl:

[Porcupine]

105. I can "home" like a pigeon. I'm never, ever lost.

The problem is that I can't fly. So while the road goes the long winding way my homing sense drives me crazy telling me that I'm not getting to where I want to be.

[Redstone]

124. You know why that is, don't you? (I am like that, too.)

This is the honest truth: "They" (some real scientists, though I forget the source) did find out that people with an innate sense of direction really do have iron deposits in their sinuses.

I shit you not. Many animals and birds have detectable amounts of iron in their schnozzes as well, and that's how they do the homing thing.

Makes sense, if you think about it: iron deposits = built-in compass.

On the few occasions that I've temporarily "lost my bearings" (like for a day after being in an MRI machine), it makes me nutso. I feel like I have lost a recognized sense, like hearing or touch.

You, too?

Redstone

[WMliberal]

106. Total facial control. Name a muscle and I can isolate its movement.

I can even cross one eye at a time.

[Mutley]

109. I can wiggle my nose like a rabbit,

and I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue, and I can crack my jaw on command.

[Hardrada]

110. Sing countertenor, bend the first joints of my fingers

and I used to be able to belch the Pledge of Allegiance backwards but I quit drinking beer!

[Scout1071]

111. I can accurately guess crowd size in stadiums and arenas,

usually to within 200-300 people. It's freakishly accurate. Guess I just have a knack for it.

All of my fingers are nearly the same size. I can wear a ring on basically any finger I choose - with pinkies as the exception.

I can blow spit bubbles. Perfect little bubbles launched off the tip off my tongue.

Bad-ass ping pong skills as well.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

113. 3 billard balls

[blindpig]

114. Turtle whisperer. n/t

[senseandsensibility]

115. I can't be knocked off ice skates

From the first time I ever put on skates, at about age seven, I have never fallen or even come close. Now, I'm not claiming to be a "good skater", necessarily. I never took lessons, and I can't do any tricks. Also, I've never played hockey. But even though I only skate once a year or so, I'm pretty good. Once I got hit by a 250 pound woman, and she fell. I just kept skating blithely on.

[dolo amber]

116. I've posted this a thousand times

But sadly, as it's my only weird talent, I shall post it again. :P

I can write backwards, upside down, in cursive on an Etch-a-Sketch. The writing is that, not me. :D

[Debi]

118. Tie cherry stems into a knot w/my tongue

I don't know how far in life it will get me, but my husband likes it :P

[TomInTib]

120. Sneeze with my eyes open- read it was impossible and learned

how to do it

[NMDemDist2]

121. My elbows are double jointed n/t

[Orsino]

125. Limericks, and other rhyming verse.

Almost in real time, but nowhere near fast enough to rap.

[Ptah]

127. I could, with immaculate penmanship,

write the Gettysburg Address.

:shrug:

[LynneSin]

128. I can dislocate my shoulder on command

I'm doing it right now....


...ok, it's popped back in the socket.

I discovered this trick in 2nd grade

[baldguy]

129. I can do hexadecimal arithmetic in my head.

A skill leftover from my programming days. I always sucked a writing programs, but...

[hibbing]

131. air rings

I can blow "air rings", like smoke rings but underwater. Actually not that hard to do, but they are fun to watch floating up from beneath, not sure how they look from above.

Peace

[barb162]

132. I can put my arms "out of joint "at the shoulder with no pain

as if my shoulder were dislocated

[barb162]

133. I can do a great Roseanne Roseannadanna