My son's girlfriend sent him a "Dear John" ....

[Breeze54]

When he initially was deployed in January,
she was all in tears, couldn't talk.
She promised to stay in touch, call, e-mail me.
That stopped soon after she told me,
that she was "getting along" with her ex "...again."
This guy, her words, had been beating her up,
hence their divorce.
She met my son and he had "rescued her".
Protected her from this guy.

My son has been in Iraq since May.
He's coming home on leave soon. (yeah!!)
He just wrote and told me they had broken up.
"They grew apart...."

I feel bad for him.
He has only told me and his brother this news.
I had a 'feeling' about her to begin with as
she doesn't work, lives with Mom and has two kids.

He has never been married and has no kids.
She had said she didn't want anymore children.
That bothered me.

But; I wasn't sure what to say to him.
I did write to him that I was sorry to hear the news
and that we loved him and can't wait for him to get home!

My question: Should I have said anything else to him?

[cleofus1]

1. yes...

as a ex navy dude who spent many a year over seas...the worst thing is finding out all the horrible things that happened that no one had the balls to tell you about...

[Breeze54]

4. I understand but

I really don't know all the gory details.
I just remember her telling me about how
she was 'talking again' to the ex and that
they were 'getting along'....
and how surprised she was about it.

That sent up a 'red flag' for me but I don't
live near her and I wasn't sure what was going on.
My intuition told me something was up but I didn't
want to write him about what she had said to me.

He's been pretty quiet about her when I have asked.
I suspect he's known for awhile and is just now telling me.

At first I though; "What a bitch!"
But at the same time, I also think;"Good riddence!"

His letter didn't sound very cheerful or upbeat.
But that's to be expected considering where he is at the moment.
I hope he'll be in a good frame of mind when he gets back.

[enigami]

2. Say this

"better down the road without that load"

She obviously isn't worthy of your son. Better to find out now.
Hopefully he won't find another charity case that needs rescued. Tell him to find someone worthy of HIM.

[Wapsie B]

3. Oh oh, a rescuer/damsel in distress.

Not a good situation from the git go. He's WAY to good for her. I know he won't see that now.

[raccoon]

5. She sounds like trouble from the word go.

I can't think of anything to add to what you said to him.

I bet one day he'll thank his lucky stars he didn't end up stuck with her.

[LynneSin]

6. I was reading in article in People Mag (I think) about the divorce rate

and how it's increasing with those who are deployed overseas.

It was a sad article, didn't get to complete it though because my 30 minutes on the lifecycle were done

[Arugula Latte]

7. Sounds like it's for the best.

Probably some day he'll look back and think: "Whew."

[JVS]

8. Nice douchebag move on her part!

[toey]

9. I hope he'll think "whew" I know I did when I was in a similar situation

with an ex-b/f.

btw, happy anniversary - i just happened to look at your profile (i never do that)

[Breeze54]

10. I had an aniversary??

I haven't even looked at my profile!
lol!
Thanks.

To all whom have replied..
...I agree with all of your pov!
I think he will be thanking his lucky stars!
Thank God they're not married!
That would be horrible!
They are both in their late 20's, so it isn't
like she didn't know any better.
I suspected she was a user and I now think I was spot on!
Not that I'm happy for his pain.
I'm glad she is sparing us all future pain!

He wants to go to Florida while he's home.
I say; "GO! Have a blast!! Live it up!"

He can do way better!!

[gardenista]

11. Get ready for her to expect him to rescue her again when he gets back.

She's looking for a meal ticket.

I hope your son finds a woman who appreciates him, and that he returns soon.

[Deja Q]

12. She's only human.