"strong like bull smart like tractor" and other funny phrases

[Devra]

[Wapsie B]

1. All that comes to mind is "dumb as a fencepost."

[drhilarius]

2. "It's the cat's pajamas."

why does the cat have pajamas? Why are these pajamas the epitome of all things good?

[Devra]

4. I suppose they come in handy when they take cat naps

;)

[drhilarius]

5. Indeed, and the way cats sleep...

those must be some pretty damn comfortable pj's.

[Withywindle]

3. I've always liked...

"Couldn't find his own ass with two hands and a hunting dog."

"Raised by wolves in the ugly forest."

Hmm, I see a canine motif here.

Will think of more later I'm sure. I was a Southerner once.

[Devra]

6. how about

don't try to teach a pig how to sing. It doesn't work and it irritates the pig

[skoppa]

7. "The bee's knees."

[WCGreen]

8. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke....

[In_The_Wind]

11. joke 'em if they can't take a fuck ...

[WCGreen]

12. Mornin' Honey child....

[In_The_Wind]

13. Mornin' Darlin'

It's gonna be a nice day for a long soak ...

Later on - the house will be empty and the jacuzzi is callin' ...

[WCGreen]

14. Boy I could use that right about now....

[In_The_Wind]

15. I just found out that I'm not going to have the day to myself after all.

One of my house mates called out sick. Even his boss thinks that he takes way too many Monday's off. He drove down to visit his Mom yesterday but he was back home early. I don't understand why he isn't feeling good enough to go to work.

[Clintmax]

9. "Git 'r done"

I hate that one. :eyes:

[China_cat]

10. Grandma's favorites

"My fine feathered idiot" and
"Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets full fastest"


Former mil's favorite:
"Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel"

[Callalily]

16. Not the sharpest

knife in the drawer.

If all his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.

[M155Y_A1CH]

17. Roll her in flour....

and look for a wet spot?

[Wapsie B]

18. "Not the brightest bulb in the hardware store."

[seemunkee]

19. The father of a friend has many

"Go piss up a rope"
"You couldn't pour piss from a boot if the diretions were written on the heel"
"Life is a bowl of fruit with one turd in it and you picked the turd"
He's actually a pleasent person but would come up with stuff that cracked us up when we were teens.

[Orsino]

20. "Dumber'n a box o' hammers." n/t

[mac56]

21. "As sharp as a bowling ball"

"Subtle as a flying hammer"

(and to describe an unproductive discussion - )

"Like asking the barber if he thinks you need a haircut"

[auntAgonist]

22. wooden shoe, wooden head, wouldn't listen.

That was what a Dutch fellow that worked for us used to say all the time.

yes, he was a stubborn young man, but we loved him!

[Devra]

23. rounded at the free end

[Devra]

24. "I sneeze in your general direction"

[nemo137]

25. My old history teacher had bunches of them

"He wouldn't know x (x being anything from what not to say to a woman to the basics of Byzantine history) if he found it dead in his lunchbucket.

That's one's my favorite, but I also admire the Mr. for his use of the word "punchy."

[Karmageddon]

26. Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens

That or:

"hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a pepper patch"
"crying like a French soccer player"
"running like his feet are on fire and his ass is catching"


Or about 100 others that I can't think of at the moment. There was never a dull moment with my redneck roommate in college.