Someone sent me this dreck from Glamour

[eyesroll]

I turn 30 next week, and a co-worker thought I could use this advice..."30 things every woman should have and should know by the time she's 30." The "she should know" section isn't bad, even if it is heterocentric and assumes singlehood. But the "she should have" section is idiotic.

http://www.glamour.com/features/sexandlove/05091230things

"1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come."

OK, I've got the "how far I've come" down in spades, but I can't imagine going back to any of 'em. I count some exes among my dear friends, but they're my exes for a reason. I'd trust them with my life, but I don't want them in my bed.

"2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family."

I do. But why is this necessary? If your grandmother died and left you a house full of furniture you love, why not use it?

"3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour."

Not to say I don't like to dress up on occasion, but if the "man of my dreams" wants to see me in an hour and can't deal with me as-is (assuming I've showered and brushed my teeth), he's not the man of my dreams.

"4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying."

I'm not ashamed to carry a ratty umbrella or ugly suitcase. These are utilitarian things to me. What's the point?

"5. A youth you're content to move beyond."
"6. A past juicy enough that you're looking to forward to retelling it in your old age."

I'm 30. I'm not dead. My present is much more interesting overall than my past. (Does this mean my future can't be 'juicy,' or I'm in violation of #5 or something?)

"12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it."

Oh, barf. "Ridiculously expensive?" I don't spend money on ridiculously expensive things unless I have to, nor do I see "deserving it" as something goal-worthy.

"14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30."

I wash. I don't use "wrinkle cream" because, frankly, I could use a few fine lines. I walk and bike. There is no "regimen" or "routine." Bite me.

What's your take? As I enter my 30s, do you have better advice?

[RandomKoolzip]

1. Write all that down, stuff it inside a copy of that book "The Rules,"

and burn them both until there's nothing but smoke left.

[eyesroll]

2. Good idea.

My sister threatened to get me a copy of "The Rules" as a "hey, you're single now" gift (she thinks they're stupid, too)...I bet I've broken every single one of them...

[Iris]

3. yeah - don't read shit out of beauty magazines.

Sounds like you don't actually read them - you just got this crap from someone who does.

Don't start.

This is an old list - from way back when people first started getting email addresses.

Fuck it.

I'm 38, no gray hair, fewere wrinkles than most people 10 years younger than me (thanks to sunscreen). When you don't waste your time on what the media and those driven by it think, then you experience a lot less stress!

[Susang]

4. Burn it

That kind of shit deserves flames.

[flamingyouth]

5. My advice is to disregard stupid crap like that.

Not helpful, I know. :D

But really, stuff like that is just silly. The ads in Glamour are more interesting than their articles, I swear.

[eyesroll]

6. I like to read it on airplanes.

Just silly fluff.

I love their "sex advice" -- they pretty much write the same "how to please your man" article each month. Because, you know, this is so hard to figure out. If you've reached 30 and need an article to explain it to you, you're beyond hope...

[no name no slogan]

7. 30 == death

what, you didn't get the memo?

[xmas74]

8. 30's not bad.

I'll be 31 in December. The only one I agree w/ is the last one but not because of wrinkles. Try out a few moisturizers and find the right one for you. Most people's skin gets drier as they get older so it's sound advice. Add more water to your diet. And if you don't already have a good cardio and strength training regimen now is the time to add it.

That's the only piece of decent advice on the list. Add the things you haven't already done on that one and you'll be fine.

[eyesroll]

9. Here's the key word that's problematic: "regimen."

I bike, I walk (quickly, even), I climb ladders and hammer things into walls. I lift groceries and knick-knacks and books and a 35-pound human being on a regular basis, and she's only going to get larger. I get a lot of "lifestyle exercise," and I don't intend to change that as I get older (only to increase it as time/health/weather allows).

But...make me put on special clothes and go into a special building and use a special machine that replicates the very things I do every day (and worse, make me pay for the privilege) and it's not going to happen. I can wander around the same block 50 times, and it doesn't feel repetitious. Put me on a treadmill and I go bonkers.

[xmas74]

10. I don't work out like that either.

I walk and jog. I have a simple set of dumbells at home(picked them up used and bought a used book on easy strength training exercises). I have a 48 lb human watching cartoons right now that I lift every night when she climbs in my bed. And I don't buy special clothes to go work out since I work out at home.
The one good thing that I did a few months ago (right after my 30th birthday, as a matter of fact) was paid for a training session w/ a personal trainer. I told her what I wanted to accomplish (workout for continuing health) and that I had no plans to go to a gym to accomplish it. She gave me a great session to do at home 3x a week that used only the cheap equipment that I stated above. Everything is heart strengthing and touch up on some problem spots(mainly hips and butt-from childbirth and from having an office job). I used a personal trainer from my local community center and it ran me $15 for a half hour. We did a total of 2 sessions-one that she planned out for me and the second to make sure that I did the exercises properly. It was easy to learn and I feel good every single time I get the chance to do it. She even gave me copies of the exercises so that I could remember them at home.
Finding someone like that is a great idea for all of us.