The make stuff up about Taverner thread: Post your made up stuff here

[LynneSin]

Taverner was responsible for the drought in Delaware in 2001. We were really dry that summer because he came and took all our water away

[kick-ass-bob]

1. Taverner ate my dingo!

:cry:

[Wetzelbill]

2. Taverner gave Judy Miller WMD info and had an affair with her too

[Zuni]

3. Taverner uprooted a lovely tree nearby during a nasty storm

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Taverner was the walrus

[LynneSin]

8. No, I swore he was the Eggman

:cry:

You've crushed all my hopes and dreams now!

[XemaSab]

5. Taverner is a "street pharmacist"

in Compton.

[NoPasaran]

6. Apparently the Titanic was all his fault

He was on the bridge, taunting the captain. "Don't be such a baby! It's only a few ice cubes---full speed ahead!"

[Taverner]

18. And I made sure that Leo ended up as an ice cube

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. One time, at band camp, Taverner was caught in the girl's outhouse

and um...well, you know...

[SarahB]

9. This one time at band camp, I was in the outhouse....

and Taverner asked me to play "hide the flute". :D

[KG]

10. Taverner cast all 93,000 nader votes in FL in 2000

[tjwmason]

11. He was a 16th century English composer

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Taverner

[Taverner]

12. No no it wasnt me!!!

I did not saw the legs off the periodic table of elements!

[kick-ass-bob]

13. that was quite a mess.

Everything wanted to stick to poor old carbon, and that hydrogen was going crazy!

:crazy:

[LynneSin]

15. I heard the Hydrogen was in an excited state

Damn that Taverner

[emulatorloo]

14. Taverner posts anti-Bush threads on DU to boost his CD sales

EOM

[LynneSin]

16. BTW, Taverner is to blame for Clinton's Penis

It's true!

[JimmyJazz]

17. Those pictures he posts aren't really him. They are from a

gay porn site....oh wait. You said, "Taverner." Nevermind. My bad. Nothing to see here :hi: Move along.

[Shell Beau]

19. Taverner is the reason the gas prices are sky high.

:P And I think his favorite band is Creed.

[SOteric]

20. I'd think you'd all be nicer about poor Taverner,

after all the dude just died after 49, possibly 50 straight hours of computer games.

[NewJeffCT]

21. wasn't he Katherine Harris' assistant back in 2000?

I think Harris was going to certify the state for Gore until Taverner convinced her to stop the recount.

[usedtobesick]

22. Isn't he really Katherine Harris?

[jandrok]

23. Taverner has a poster of BEVO on his bedroom wall!!!!

Seriously, I'm not making that up. He loves the Texas Longhorns more than life itself.

[Taverner]

24. No don't tell them that

and please dont tell them about my Deion Sanders poster either!

[jandrok]

25. AH-HA! I knew it! Say it with me now....HOOK 'em!!

[SarahB]

26. I heard Taverner has lustful thoughts about Melissa Rivers.

:P

[jackelope72]

27. I hear that Taverner has a tape floating out there...

that shows him flogging a naked Tom Cruise with a foot-long kielbasa, while Tom is calling him "Daddy" and begging him to "do it again, do it again, slap your little bitch boy again, Daddy!"

[CubsFan1982]

28. When Taverner was 19, he won the Miss West Virginia pageant.

He won by having all his teeth and delivering a stunning rendition of "Everything's Coming Up Roses".

[LynneSin]

29. You know he lost his crown when those pics came out in Hustler magazine

Oh the shame - he was in compromising positions with several box turtles

[CubsFan1982]

31. There's a signed affidavit from one of those box turtles.

Attesting that her newborn box turtle is Taverner's child. Bet you're not singing now, are ya, BIG SHOT? :P

[Debi]

30. Taverner is HOT....