A friend of my little brother's may have died in a car wreck tonight....

[Wetzelbill]

I was on the phone with my younger brother a while ago, back in Montana, I was calling to line him out for coming home late, because it worries my dad. Well, he was over at a friend's house when he heard that there was a car wreck in our county that night. It turns out one of his friends was in the car and he's pretty sure that he died. I guess, at least, the driver was drinking and from what they have heard there has only been one survivor so his friend probably didn't make it. Man, I didn't know the kid, but it saddens me greatly. I'm from an Indian reservation in a rural farm and ranch community and this sort of thing happens all too frequently. Alcohol, young kids and open roads are a bad thing.

About two months ago, here in Arizona, a good friend of my brothers - and by proxy a friend of mine - committed suicide. He had been using drugs and battling depression, so he was fighting demons anyway. A break up with his girlfriend was just too much, so he drove out alone somewhere and shot himself. It was tough. I sent my brother home with my dad not that long after, hoping he could get some time to relax and let all this stuff pass. Now this. It's not easy.

You know, we really need to look out for our demons. Drugs. Alcohol. Depression. We need to be aware of how they can hurt ourselves and others. We need to work in our communities to alleviate socioeconomic problems. Progressives need to band together, run for office, support like minded people, go out and fight and make a difference.

This country needs us.

Badly.

Too many good people are struggling. Too many good kids are losing their way. Too many elderly wish they could die because they have to choose between paying for bills, groceries and vital medicines. It's a tough time. Bad things are happening. And, it's up to us to fight and do something about it. Stand up for the little man. The people who hurt. The women who feel oppressed. Everybody who needs our help.

Now is not the time to weaken. To waver.

To lose faith.

Because, whether it is CAFTA, SCOTUS or my brother's two friends, there are always battles that we may lose.

But I still say they are worth the fight.

I believe in America. I believe we can turn the tide. I believe that we can win these battles, and begin to change the world. But, it takes a movement. It takes hard work. It takes dedication. It takes hope.

And, I know we have it in us to get the job done.

[enigmatic]

1. That's horrible

I'm so sorry to hear about this.

It seems that alto of people are battling their own darkness now; I've been doing it all my life, too. It almost got me a few times, and I'm amazed I made it this far

"We" need each other right now, because the next few years is going to be pivotal on whether we as a civilization survive that craziness that's going on right now. We have to come together. We have to.

[Wetzelbill]

3. I think we don't have much of an option

It's just going too crazy right now. If we all don't band together to do something about it, we're pretty much fucked.

I've had to battle some of that stuff too. I've beaten alcohol things like that, constantly fighting off depression and anxiety, I can see how it gets to be too much for some. With regards to back home, there is nothing for kids to do, but to go out and drink. Several of my friends and family members are alcoholics or prescription painkiller addicts. I was lucky to escape all of that. But, others aren't so fortunate. I'm amazed I've gotten this far too. I really don't know how other than I have a certain amount of intellect and talent to fall back on. Pure luck, I guess. The darkness that has almost gotten you and I, sometimes others aren't as lucky. It's pretty sad too.

[BikeWriter]

2. That's all good sentiment and you're right, Bill.

[Wetzelbill]

4. thank you

[Rhiannon12866]

5. What an eloquent post, Wetzelbill.

We all can gain some hope from it. Talk about gaining inspiration from tragedy. My sympathy is with your brother, and with you. And I understand. My youngest male cousin was killed in a car wreck at 17. The driver, his friend, was also drunk. I sometimes think of the many things he'll never experience, things that he'll never know. I had actually been thinking about him earlier, since today is going to be his mother's birthday. I already sent my aunt a card, but maybe I should write her, as well. Thanks. And I totally agree.

Rhiannon:pals:

[Wetzelbill]

8. glad you liked it

When bad things happen it gets me totally riled up. I used to get angry, and I still do, but I just channel it better now. It makes me want to do something, you know?

I know what you mean about having a cousin die. I had a 17 -maybe 18 - year old cousin die a few years ago. He was with some friends coming from a party or something, totally drunk, and he got in an argument with the driver and others in the car, so he jumped out of the vehicle and was going to walk home. His friends ended up leaving him. It was the coldest night of the year, which in the part of MT I'm from is probably about a good 40 below zero with windchill. He laid down, passed out and froze to death. It's sad. I know what you mean. That's good that you sent her a card. I imagine a parent never gets over the death of a child like that. Glad you agree, though. It means a lot. :)

[Rhiannon12866]

34. This can get me going, as well, unless it's happening to me, as you know.

Then I'm totally worthless. But we have to somehow learn to channel all the anger that we feel in a positive way. It has to go somewhere and there is so much that needs to be done. And if the adrenalin rush that comes with anger can serve to feed the imagination and inspire some great ideas, then we can turn the outrage into a cause for good. It's only when we lose all hope that we set ourselves up for inevitable defeat.:-(

And I am so sorry about your cousin. Wow. It's amazing that most of us make it through our teens. And even when we believe we're grown up and sensible, that dark hand of darkness can still reach up from the past and trip us up, when we least expect it. I guess this requires constant vigilance.
:scared:

But I like your version of events much better than mine, and will do my best to embrace it. I sure could use a little hope right now, so thanks. And it's obvious that I wasn't the only one who was impressed by your post! Congrats!
:yourock:

Rhi:-)

[Wetzelbill]

35. oh I know

I was such a jackass from the time I was 15 to 22 I'm surprised I'm still alive and not injured in some way. I had friends die in car wrecks and other alcohol related accidents. I was always doing something stupid, not really driving drunk, but with somebody who was. Some of us just got lucky. Well :yourock: too. :)

[Rhiannon12866]

39. I guess we all feel we're immortal when we're that young, unfortunately.

And I had several friends die, as well. The three who I was closest to were all guys. Two committed suicide, an unforgivable tragedy, and one died in a car crash that he might have been able to avoid if only he'd been willing to sacrifice his beloved vintage car, a 1972 Plymouth Road Runner. He put every cent he made into that car, looking to make improvements and embellishments. He used to drop by whenever he had something new to show me. I did think it was odd when he didn't show up over one long weekend, then spotted his obit in the paper the very next day. All the things these guys have missed.;(

As for driving drunk, I did it once, ever. I hadn't had my license that long. And it scared me so witless that I never was even tempted to try it again. It wasn't myself that I was so much worried about, but my own vintage car, a 1971 Plymouth Duster. If anything had happened to damage that car, I would have never have forgiven myself, hence my understanding of my friend and his attachment to his.:eyes:

And thanks! I'm honored to have been a part of your smokin' post!:woohoo:

[Wetzelbill]

46. I feel all of that

:)

[Rhiannon12866]

56. I was just telling a real-life friend about this thread.

He is having a tough time with his daughter and I told him what you said about your behavior between 15-22. He feels that she should have matured more by now, since he had at her age, but it seems to me that kids, these days, grow up faster, yet remain kids longer, if that makes sense.:shrug:

[hickman1937]

60. You hit that nail right on the head.

If you don't mind, I might quote you in the future.
hickman.

[Rhiannon12866]

72. Of course you can quote me. I'm incredibly flattered.

I was just grasping at straws to find some bit of wisdom to try to help my friend. He really sounded as if he was at the end of his tether.:-(

[Wetzelbill]

64. oh I'm a kid pretty much even now

And, I'm 30. I think kids grow up because of the technology and all the information and activities to do in the world. But, they never fully mature because we don't require the same responsibility the way, say older generations did. I wasn't nearly as responsible a person growing up as my mother or father had to be. Younger generations tend to be more spoiled because parents want their children to have the things they didn't have. Not to mention they don't have the same stresses the previous generations had either.

[Rhiannon12866]

73. Well, I'm sure far from mature, as you probably can tell, and I'm older

than you are. But I do agree that maturity has come later from generation to generation. When my mother was a kid, she was expected to remain home and behave herself while her parents were at work, and also look after her little sister. For my generation, we were never left alone. Either a parent was there, or a babysitter. As for the coming generation, they require constant supervision.:-(

My friend's parents own a girls' camp that we attended for many summers as kids. It's quite beautiful, on Lake Champlain in Vermont. And, as kids, we knew that we had a riding lesson at 9 or a swimming lesson at 2 and that we were just expected to show up. My friend tells me that this has completely changed. She said that they require many more staff because the present-day campers all have to be led by the hand. They can't even take the minimal responsibility that we did.:shrug:

Do I sound like my mother, saying that things were much better in "her day?" Yikes! I hope not! My only point was to make a sociological observation.:-)

[Tsiyu]

6. Sorry to hear

Lots of pain out there, for sure.

We just have to reach out and help each other. Oh, it gets frustrating when you KNOW what to do to help someone, but you aren't in a position to do anything. That's my dilemma lately, but my first "real" paycheck oughta be able to help me help others a little.

Hang in there, and good for you for trying to talk sense into Little Bro.

:hi:

[Wetzelbill]

7. thanks a lot

Glad to see that you're looking to help some people out. It's tough to be in a position when you can't help somebody. Sure is lots of pain out there. Gotta just keep fighting.

I was singing some Buddy Holly today, btw. :)

[Tsiyu]

9. Awwwww!

Buddy appreciates being remembered.

Have a great day. I'm off to work....where there is no Internets...

[Wetzelbill]

12. you too

[Binka]

10. I Nominated This Thanks

I'm struggling as my first born child aged 24 is about to ship off to Iraq. My heart is breaking for Benjamin. I have three children who are young adults and I have a four year old. I'm really tired these days. Ben going to war and Callie and Ian in college and feeling sad and scared for their brother. Peyton is just four and she needs ALL my time. I don't have a financial struggle for the first time in my life but the world has gone crazy. I need to remember to have HOPE.

I am living abroad and I feel so disconnected. And I'm lonely as my family are all wealthy Pukes. America love it or leave it. They know where I stand and so they won't talk to me. I have to remember my REAL brothers and sisters have nothing to do with my birth family.

But Ben going to Iraq just changes everything. I'm so afraid.

[Wetzelbill]

15. I have at least three friends that I know of in Iraq right now...

One of them is a kid who used to be one of my athletes when I was a High School wrestling coach. It's not easy, worrying, and certainly it's nothing like having a son or daughter over there. I know you are worried, and have reservations about this war, if not being outright opposed to it, but one thing is, you have to trust your son. He is trained to do his job, he's young and physically and mentally fit to do so. Of course, anything can happen, but your son is well qualified to take care of himself and he has all his friends around him to do the same. You know, where I am from, we have a higher per capita percentage of people in the military than almost any where in the U.S. And, I'm not talking about war mongers either, it's mainly due to the opportunities that the military can provide. Also, MT kids are raised hunting and so on, so the military stuff is a good fit, plus on the indigenous side of it, American Indians are warriors, they love to fight and always have. Your son and my friends, what they are doing is good, they're proving that they are stand up guys, you know? That's what it is. Now they may be getting disserviced by our administration and Congress, but what they believe in is true. So be proud of your son and take solace in his intellect and abilities. You're going to have some anxiety over it all, but he's a warrior and can handle himself. Just keep faith and keep your hope. Don't let that fear beat you. I know your lonely, but you have all of us hear at DU. We know the score. We know you're right. Thanks for nominating this. If you ever need somebody to talk to never hesitate to PM me either.

Stay strong.

[Binka]

23. Thanks So Much

Here's Benjamin and his best friend from boot camp at graduation. Ben is a really really good guy. He has strong hands too!

[Wetzelbill]

25. no problem

Nice pics. I like all of the ones you've posted. Thanks for sharing. :)

[tavalon]

16. I'm so sorry this is happening to you

And I'm sorry that your birth family is so fucked up. Is the picture you have up your four year old?

[Binka]

20. Yes That Is Peyton She Just Turned Four Here Is Ben

Hold him in your hearts please.

More Peyton



Hold her in your hearts please.

Me



Hold me in your hearts please.

Thanks and :loveya:

[Wetzelbill]

21. wow, quite the good looking family.....

You most definitely all have been in my heart, since I read your first reply. I said a prayer for you all too. You're so very welcome. :)

[Binka]

26. Here's My Other Two

Ian he's going to be a sophmore at George Mason this fall



Callie Jean she will be a senior at Madison this fall



Thanks for your warm thoughts from the Arizona desert.

[Wetzelbill]

29. nice

You know, I'm going back to Montana to run for State Senate at the end of the year. And, it's exactly people like you and your family, good decent people, who work hard, but end up having a rough go of it because of war or something else, and they need somebody to look out for them. Every time I think I maybe shouldn't do it, then I get a reminder that regular people need somebody to look out for them. I'm really just a poor farm hick from an Indian reservation blessed with some writing ability and a decent amount of intellect. Nothing special. But, I know there are people out there who need somebody. Who are disenchanted and only need someone to listen and help them out. It doesn't take a genius to listen to someone and do the moral thing. So, yeah, you helped strengthen my resolve and my decision. My warm thoughts are from my heart though, I'll keep you and my family in those thoughts, too. :)

[Binka]

31. You Do It For All Of Us Good People

BTW don't kid yourself YOU are definitely something special. Thanks again for helping me to smile today.

[Wetzelbill]

33. oh gosh

:) thanks for making me smile too. and blush... :)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

11. Ho Metaquiatsun

The thing to remember is that we are all related. That each one is a friend, each one a brother. That everything is sacred, each life, each person. The change you envision will come, and the revoltion starts now-within your own heart.

[Wetzelbill]

13. Oki Nuskuni

I appreciate that. Our friends are our brothers and sisters and in our community we are all one family. Thank you very much.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

58. thank you for the greeting

I only know a little Lakota (and my spelling is poor), but I honor the ceremonies of all Native people. I know you are of another tribe-was it Blackfoot? Forgive me for not remembering.

[Wetzelbill]

67. you're close

I'm Blackfeet.

Also a little Nez Perce and Chippewa Cree. And, you're welcome.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

74. thank you for the correction

My husband is part Cherokee; if I have Native blood, it is just a drop of Massasoit.

[Heidi]

14. Nominated.

We're all connected.

[Wetzelbill]

19. Thank you Heidi

You're the best. :):pals:

[Heidi]

22. Gvlieliga.

Heidi and Granny.

[Wetzelbill]

24. oohhhh

:) I can barely find the words. How cute. :)

[Heidi]

27. My Granny . . .

was one of the wisest and most beautiful women who ever lived, though her life was marked by many of the events referenced in your original post. The photo is what I mean by we're all connected. (Thanks, too.)

[Wetzelbill]

32. yeah, she's a beautiful woman

Wow, she looks so young there, I mean so young to be a grandmother. Yeah, I think we are all connected. I'm from a very familial and communal environment. My friends are like brothers and sisters, not just friends, my aunts and uncles are like surrogate mothers and fathers. My cousins are like brothers and sisters. etc. I live my life like that. Loyalty and compassion are two of the most important virtues I believe in. You're welcome, for everything.

[tavalon]

17. I hope this turns out differently than you fear

I believe in America too, though I often wonder why and even forget for a while here and there.

Thank you for this post.

[Wetzelbill]

18. you're welcome

[EFerrari]

28. What we need

is a good ceremony.

((((((((Bill))))))))))))

((((((((Little Brother))))))))

((((((((((Our Brothers and Children))))))))))))

[Wetzelbill]

30. Thank you

Definitely!

[Heidi]

36. Kick for the DU day crew. (nt)

[MissMillie]

37. It's not enough to tell your kids not to drink and drive

You have to tell them not to get in a car with someone who has been drinking.

My kids know that no matter the hour, if they need a ride home, they can call.

[Wetzelbill]

40. Good advice

[Shell Beau]

38. It is certainly horrible! I know the feeling.

My brother died in a car accident after pulling an all-nighter of drinking. He was probably still lit. It is tough. Maybe, if anything positive can come out of this, your brother can learn from this. I send my thoughts and prayers.

[Wetzelbill]

41. thank you

[Binka]

42. Good Morning Kick

Man it is already 4pm here and hot hot hot. Hope people read your nice thread Bill.

[Heidi]

43. Ciao, Binka!

Hot here on the Swiss/Italian border, too, but there's a thunderstorm rolling in (finally). :hi:

(Edited to add: Welcome to DU!)

[Binka]

47. Ciao Bella

Come sta? Thanks for the welcome. I just started playing in the Lounge. What fun!! Love the slime that broke your heart thread. I read it twice it is so funny!

[Heidi]

49. I'm fine . . .

thanks! My neighbor is Sicilian and my Italian is so poor that he can hardly understand me, so we speak a sort of German/English. ;)

Glad you're here. :hi:

[Hugin]

44. Very inspiring...

That's the spirit!

[Wetzelbill]

45. glad you liked it

[Mutley]

48. Amen, Bill.

:hug: Thanks for this post.

[Wetzelbill]

50. you're welcome, my friend

Glad you liked it. :)

[In_The_Wind]

51. Your sentiment is well stated Wetzelbill ~ way to go Bill !

:applause:

[Wetzelbill]

52. thank you very much

Highlyskilledpropagandist.... :)

[In_The_Wind]

55. you are turning me into a damed writer groupie

thus far I've only purchased one book written by a DUer ... perhaps someday I'll be buying one written by you.










BTW my friends call me Joani

[Wetzelbill]

63. funny you should say that Joani

Check this out :)
http://acorngathering.gq.nu/

[In_The_Wind]

70. ~ ~ ~ The Acorn Gathering ~ ~ ~

now I am impressed ... but not at all surprised




:applause: well done Bill

[Wetzelbill]

71. well thank you

just a simple project I was asked to help out in. It benefitted a good cause too. :)

[In_The_Wind]

75. Just the fact that you were ask to lend your time to an effort like this

speaks volumes about who you are.

[GreenPartyVoter]

53. I am so sorry *hugs and prayers for your family*

[Wetzelbill]

54. thanks GPV

[bigwillq]

57. What awful news.

Give your little bro my best.:hug:

[Wetzelbill]

61. I will thanks

[mvd]

59. I'm very sorry

And you said things that need to be said.

[Wetzelbill]

62. thank you too

I'm glad you liked it.

[seemunkee]

65. Have your read the Song of Heyoehkah?

A Cheyenne friend recommended it to me. He works with Native Americans that are incarcerated and need some spiritual anchor. Maybe it is something that can help your brother.
I've lost friends to suicide and traumatic accidents. You try to make some sense of it when there may not be any.
I'm sorry for your and his loss.

[Wetzelbill]

69. No I haven't

Glad the you recommended it. I appreciate your words.

[UrbScotty]

66. As the Lance Armstrong yellow bracelets say, "LiveStrong."

While the LiveStrong bracelets are to raise money for cancer research, their message speaks to all of us.

Here is a :hug: for you, your brother, and everyone who knew his friend.

[Wetzelbill]

68. thank you

I should get one of those bracelets actually. Thanks for mentioning them.

[skygazer]

76. That is so sad and your points are very true

I grew up in a small town in an area that had once been farming country. At the time I grew up (the 70's) the family farm was going the way of the dinasour and most of the kids I knew were seeing their expected future dissolving before their eyes.

It's tough to grow up and be unable to envision a future. Most of my friends had no means to go to college - that was a dream well beyond their scope. Jobs were scarce, safe amusements non-existent. We spent our time drinking and driving fast, doing drugs and living dangerously. I think about it now and it seems to me a sort of passive suicide - not a straightforward attempt to kill oneself but a pattern of behavior that had a logical conclusion.

By the time I was 20 years old, I'd lost at least ten close friends to drug overdose, alcohol fueled car wrecks and suicide. By the time I was 30, the number had jumped even higher. When I go home to visit, I make a round of cemeteries and visit graves with ages of death ranging from about 16 to maybe 30. People with little or no hope who ran with demons until the demons brought them down.

It shouldn't have to be like that. My condolences. :(

[Wetzelbill]

77. that's similar to my life

I'm 30 and I have had several friends die. I see a place rampant with alcohol and drug use. It's like many people are just walking dead. There demons seem to get the best of them.

Thanks for sharing that and replying to this, skygazer.