Traditional weddings make me want to throw up

[Misinformed01]

that is all.

Now I must go get dressed, and paste that phoney smile on my face.

Gag.

[Skittles]

1. I AGREE ABSOLUTELY

I find them very phony and frankly, ridiculous

[JanMichael]

2. "Giving away" women seems rather patriarchal, no, barbaric.

Always about ownership and control.

So anyway Stephanie (Misinformed01) and I did it the county court house way.

[Skittles]

7. OMG

the women in white, the men in black......a man giving the bride away to another man, throwing the bouquet like all women are just freaking dying to get married - just disturbing

[MountainLaurel]

49. Oh yeah

Got into a huge fight with an ex-BF because I told him there would be no "giving away" of me at my wedding.

But if you look at the history of the traditional Judeo-Christian wedding traditions, they're all about the selling of the daughter by her father to the groom. Marriage was a business transaction.

[koopie57]

3. they are not so bad

so long as there is a 'free bar' at the reception.

[supernova]

4. I'm eloping if I get married again

I don't want all the hoopla, and going into debt to do it.

I'd much rather have a small ceremony, have a nice honeymoon, and then come back and give a house party for family and close friends.

[matcom]

5. you are my hero

and i love you
and want to have your babies
and agree 1000000000%

[koopie57]

13. a matcom baby?

would someone please photo shop for me what this would look like? I bet it would be a very beautiful sight. I love that purple guy!

[matcom]

15. why photoshop when you can get the real deal?

[koopie57]

33. I like the tommy-tippy-tumbler pose ...

how did such a cute baby turn into the purple slappy we see on all your posts?

[XemaSab]

56. A clever soul

could probably photoshop the two together so that the big purple is spanking the baby.

[JanMichael]

14. Sorry pal but I'm having her babies.

Although I'm certain that we could sell you some of the ones that we don't particularly like.

$13.67 a piece.

[NuttyFluffers]

6. Wow, so i'm not alone!

:hug:

Did i ever tell you, you were the wind beneath my wings?

[undeterred]

20. "You are so Beautiful, to me, can't you see?"

sung by a cousin with a voice so bad I wanted to scream.

[SarahB]

8. It's not my thing either.

It never was. Weddings should be about the marriage, not about pomp and phony crap.

[Nay]

9. Hoo-whee. Agree completely. Mr. Nay and I did the justice of the

peace thing with 5 family members in attendance. Couldn't bear the thought of a WEDDING.

[kedrys]

10. We eloped. 'nuff said.

Every time we see some hideously overproduced wedding atrocity on TV, the s.o. and I fondly remember our 20 minutes in front of the judge 9+ years ago, with two witnesses (a lawyer friend and the court clerk), two plain silver rings, and one rose.

Drink at the afterparty, it'll take the edge off. :)

[Atlas Mugged]

11. I agree, totally.

I had to go to one a couple of weeks ago and it was utterly horrible. It was a major production and I cringed throughout the whole fucking thing. The reception was the worst. From the DJ doing the over-the-top introduction of the "NEW MR. AND MRS. XXXX" to the bizarre ritual of clinking glasses to make the bride and groom kiss. Fortunately, I'm in chronic pain and was able to boost my medication enough to make the whole thing tolerable in a distant, foggy way. Yes, chronic pain DOES have it's advantages. Besides, it was a great excuse to leave early.

[Catchawave]

12. I sooooooooo agree......

My overproduced wedding was for my family, not me. I told my kids I'd rather give them the cash for a downpayment on something useful and practical, like a HOME or a dependable CAR.

Don't get me started on funerals.........another greedy industry :evilgrin:

[wovenpaint]

16. I used to waitress at wedding receptions

2-4 a weekend....the stories I could TELL you! :crazy: :silly: :crazy: :evilgrin:
I agree. Expensive, ridiculous rituals perpetuated by the "wedding industry"(let's think up some new schlock for this year)"
Hope you have a good time, anyway!:toast:

[LibraLiz1973]

29. Tell us some stories!!

:headbang:

[wovenpaint]

39. Ok! here's my favorite...

We had one wedding reception where (of course) the wedding party was all trashed....the best man was cozying up to the bride on the dance floor and her (once) beautiful gown was slipping severely off her shoulders. This caused enough of a stir to prompt the groom to LEAVE in a rage. The rest of the reception was spent with people trying to find him-which they did-and brought him back.

Anyway, by this time we'd finished serving dinner so we were cooling our heels in the small bar/lounge that was downstairs. The changing room and the bathrooms were also on the lower level. When I went to go visit the bathroom, I encountered the bride stumbling along-she was looking for the bar.....stark naked! It took three of us (all women) to convince her that that wasn't such a great idea, and turned her around to go back to the room where her clothes were quick-much to the dismay of the men in the bar, lol!!
The newlyweds finally left-together. Boy, I bet they were hungover big time for their honeymoon. I wonder if they're still married?

Another time, we had a wedding party that all dressed Mafia-style...the flowers were all spray painted black! Geesh!

[Misunderestimator]

17. Weddings in general make me want to throw up.

:)

[tjdee]

18. I want a tradtional wedding with a lot of changes. Guess I'm the only one!

I like big parties and formal affairs. I go to so few of them, and it's nice to dress up and be fancy sometimes. :shrug:

Traditional weddings these days, though...seem kind of devoid of actual affection and more about step 1: walk down aisle. step 2: kiss. step 3: walk out. step 4: eat overpriced food with ice sculptures and impress everyone with how much you spent on their stupid wedding favors.

I don't want the wedding march played, no one's giving me away...some other changes to make it less boring for people...but if I can't afford to do it the way I want to do it, I don't want to even bother. I'm not going broke just for one day, I'm not going half-assed either.

[undeterred]

19. Wow I had no idea so many people felt the same way

What I hate is the huge imposition the wedding puts on other people, some of whom won't see the couple again for ten years. Travelling, expensive gifts, new clothes, time off work. Many times the couple and invitees wouldn't recognize each other if they met on the street. I hate the bride throwing the bouquet for all those poor single girls. I hate the couple shoving cake in each others faces and acting like idiots. I hate the garter thing. I hate being told that since I'm not married and they're trying to save on expenses, I can't bring an escort. I hate that some couples take a year to write you a thank you note for the expensive gift you picked out from one of the ten stores they registered at- or they never write you one at all.

The lavishness of the wedding bears no relationship at all to the success of the relationship.

[LynzM]

21. I think it depends a lot on the people getting married

We had a 'traditional' wedding, so to speak. Church, white dress and tux, 'reception'. But, we planned the whole thing in a month, spent not so much, as weddings go, and it was all really laid-back. The reception was 'snacks' in the church hall, DJ'd by a friend, followed by a cookout and my grandparents' house in our normal summer clothes, and then everyone was off to the beach :) Like someone up-thread said, more about the getting married than the 'accessories', so to speak. I think if we had it to do over, we'd probably do it differently, but it wasn't bad the way it was :D

[pippin]

22. hey, It's a Big Business

think of all the people who make money off a wedding production: florists, caterers, hair dressers, clothing manufacturers, dj's etc., etc.,

as tina turner put it: what's love got to do with it?

[Jade Fox]

23. Traditional wedding used to have meaning when they involved....

and affected whole communities. Now they're just an excuse to spend
a lot of money and get a lot of presents. It's interesting that the more
unstable marriage becomes as an institution, the bigger and more
eleborate become the weddings.

Hope the food is good, at least (at the wedding/reception you're going
to today).

[Nikia]

24. Our wedding was alright

When I attended weddings as a child, I always thought that the festivities lasted too long and that the bride and groom must be exhausted as the reception lasted late into the evening and not really have time for each other.
We did have a church cermemony with hymns and a short sermon. Our reception at a supper club followed. Of course, my husband and I and parents, and wedding party had to pose for too many pictures, which was a bit boring. As a non visual person though, it is nice to have pictures.
At the reception, our guests snacked on veggies and dip and cheese and crackers while they awaited us to arrive. Then we had our dinners. The food was from the menu at menu serving size and menu cost (which was a big imporvement from my friend's wedding involving 4 oz steaks that cost $30.00 a piece). My husband's best man and my maid of honor, my sister, gave short speeches. Then we had cake. My husband and I fed it to each other but no smashing in the face. Then we left, having to vacate the premise by 4:30 p.m. and people helped carry out the gifts.
We were home alone and hour later. We spent time together at home and then went out to a movie, although neither one of us can remember what movie we watched.

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

25. It's not necessarily weddings that I consider pointless

but actually marriage in general.

[Champ]

26. I want to get drunk at my wedding so it'll be like getting a tattoo

You wake up wondering looking at this thing and wondering how you got or what happened and it's permanent(not completely but close)

[progmom]

27. i avoid them like the plague

:hi:

[Coventina]

28. DON'T GET ME STARTED!!! Too late! I'm started:

The wedding industrial complex is OUT OF CONTROL!


Weddings are now all day long affairs that go well into the night. An invitation is now a day lost (if you feel obligated to go, as most people are). It's a painful bore to be a guest, but much, much worse to be one of the wedding party.

The ultimate worst is to be a bridesmaid. My poor sister-in-law who is working on her Ph.D. and has a wide circle of friends is spending THOUSANDS of dollars every year on her friends weddings.

These selfish young women want six or seven attendants, so each has buy her own dress (which will never be used again) shoes, etc.

There's stupid bachelorette parties that often require a trip to Vegas. Travel to the wedding location as well. What kind of selfish asshole has a "destination wedding" in Hawaii? Yeah, go ahead and kid yourself that you are giving them a "vacation". Please, it's only a vacation if you pay for them to come!

There's a lot more I could rant on about. But the bottom line is WEDDINGS SUCK!!!

:rant:

[undeterred]

31. Even just going to a wedding is expensive

When I was in grad school one of my female friends had a lavish traditional wedding 1000 miles away from school. I took 3 days off work without pay, paid for two nights in a hotel, a wedding gift, and gas for 2000 miles in my ancient oil burning car ... and her husband hinted that I should throw her a shower, although she was already having two in her home town. Thank god she didn't ask me to be IN her wedding. When you're in grad school you squeeze every dime, and suddenly having to lay out a few hundred dollars is a huge problem.

[LibraLiz1973]

30. I have a whole theory on weddings

When I get married my plan is to have under 20 people there, because I think once you throw it out there to the masses it becomes a SHOW, and there isnt anything sacred about that.

People spend thousands and thousands of dollars to get married and throw a big party for their friends & family- but its all about showing off.

I also think when you have tons of people there, it becomes a sea of negativity. I want people there who really care about us- not people who are thinking things like "I fuckin hate weddings" or "her ass is big" or "Eww! That dress!" or "WHY are those 2 getting married" or "I cant believe I had to put $100 in a card"....
So many bad vibes go into weddings, and that cant be good for the couple.

I would like a small party,later. No pomp and circumstance, just a few additional people to celebrate with. Nothing catered and crazy.

[StaggerLee]

32. I haven't been to a wedding since I was a kid

Mine was a JP so no harm there....except I'm divorced now.

I am going to a friend's wedding next weekend. He and his fiance are both very progressive, he's Catholic and I believe she is as well...I don't know what to expect really.

[Lavender Brown]

34. I like traditional weddings, but hate snooty, lavish weddings.

I thought it was more traditional for a wedding to be small and simple than all fussy. :shrug: And I only enjoy myself at weddings of people I really know and care about.

[auntAgonist]

55. I'm with you ..

I love traditional weddings when they are small and intimate. No lavish gowns and tuxes. Simple weddings have a lot more meaning for me.

[skygazer]

35. Most weddings make me want to throw up

I don't much care for most of the aggressively "individual" weddings I've been to either, with the self-written vows and the cutesy themes and the strange venues.

Most weddings are so overblown and over the top and they don't really seem to be about what the couple is doing (joining together) as much as how much they can impress or amaze the guests.

Weddings are an industry. People seem to feel that all these adornments and extras are somehow necessary to having a successful marriage - a limo, a matching number of attendants (whether you have that many close friends or not), table decor, perfect flowers, expensive dresses, a big rock.... People go into debt before they've even started their life together - where is the sense in that? And what does it all mean?

[tibbir]

36. I'm never going to get married again

but if I did I'd NEVER have a traditional ceremony. Went through one when I was 20 to please my mother who never had one. What a lame reason to do something so repugnant.

[jmm]

37. There's too much focus on the wedding and not the marriage

Anybody can get married but making it work is the hard part. When I get married I want to elope. If it's really important to the man I marry we can have up to 20 guests but no more. Then a year later or ever 5, 10, etc. yrs later (I'm open to making it an anniversary thing:D) having a big laid back anniversary party. That will be the time to celebrate, when I can actually say we've made it work.

[blondeatlast]

38. Agreed. 8 people attended my and my husband's wedding,

and they all were very close.

That was 9 years ago, and we are still going strong (and I love to brag about it).

[Zomby Woof]

40. The courthouse paper-signing sounds better all the time!

With or without the hot oil ceremony afterwards...

[barb162]

41. The music is always too loud for people to actually talk

I like to see people and catch up...never can with the decibel levels of an average reception.

[undeterred]

42. I once went to a wedding as a date

with someone who I'd been out with twice. This was the wedding of people from his home town, lots of folks who had known him for years.
We had a nice time at the reception, and we slow danced for hours. We'd never even kissed and we didn't kiss that night- in fact I never heard from him again. Turns out he was gay but not out.

I wish he'd just told me, I would have gone.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

43. HAHA!!! SUFFER!

right there with ya!

[prole_for_peace]

44. if i get married i want to do it at the elvis chapel in vegas

if we don't just use a JP here.

those big weddings are so about "look at me" "look how special I am". it makes me sick how much money is wasted on just trying to impress other people.

[hallo]

45. I have a collection...

of bad bridesmaid dresses (and one maid of honor dress). In one year I went to FIVE. I could not take a vacation that year b/c I used up all my slush fund traveling to everyone's wedding. The thing is, I totally understand wanting the whole she-bang. But I have HAD ENOUGH by attending all these lovely occasions, eating blah steak and drinking as much as possible. I have therefore determined that I do NOT want that if/when I get married. I've lived vicariously and have no desire to spend that kind of money for one night. I'd rather save for a down payment on a house.

Yet, I still think weddings are fun (especially if I am not a bridesmaid wearing a horrible strapless - WHY IS EVERY DRESS STRAPLESS NOW!!! -- lavender "dress").

[CaliforniaPeggy]

47. Hey there, hallo!

BTW, WELCOME TO DU! Enjoy your stay in our crazy, lovable village...

:hi:

[hallo]

48. Thanks for the welcome

[Tikki]

46. Here ya go....

I have NEVER been to a wedding where the song "Evergreen" was played or sung and the marriage actually lasted....(I am talking about four weddings here).

I apologize in advance if this was your song and you two are still Happy Campers...

[Lilyhoney]

50. Here is my wedding story.

We were married on 01.01.01 @ 1:00. I wore a red velvet dress. No bridal party. We had a champagne and crepe brunch for the reception that was held in the library of the unitarian church we had the ceremony in. We chose our own vows. We had a small gathering of less than 50 people. We spent less than $4,000. Also I do not sport a real diamond in my ring and I feel good about it.

It was'nt about putting on a show, it was about us. Unlike my sister who did the whole Catholic show for both of her weddings.

[Atlas Mugged]

52. Just the fact that you wore a red velvet dress...

...is fantastic! Love it.

[Lilyhoney]

58. Thank you.

I had never owned anything red in my life. But the dress was beautiful and I could'nt resist. My sister just about shit herself when I told her of the red dress.

I had found out that traditional wedding dresses were not white to start with. Yellow was the color then red dresses were in fashion. Some queen or princess or whatever started the white dress tradition.

I also like the idea that I can wear my dress again. I am thinking I will wear it this new year's eve if we go to las vegas. We will be celebrating our 5th year of marraige.

If I can find a photo I will PM it to you. Thanks for your liking of the idea of a red dress.

[distantearlywarning]

51. When we got married

we didn't want all that stupid traditional wedding crap either. We had a very small wedding - about 35 guests. I got my dress from EBay, my single attendant wore a dress she borrowed from her roommate, and my husband's mother did the flowers. We had a very low key cocktail reception with a jazz guitarist and absolutely no cake smashing, bouquet or garter tossing, stupid DJ, or other lame stuff.

It was lovely and simple and elegant and non-stressful and several of our guests said it was the best wedding they ever went to. We had a great time, got to eat some of the food, and hung out with all our friends and families.

And the best part is that we were able to afford a fun honeymoon in Las Vegas, and we weren't in debt when we got home to start our new lives together.

[Dastard Stepchild]

53. Open bars make most things in life palatable....

and seem to make smiling a bit easier for many.

[yellowdogintexas]

54. I actually love weddings...I have been known to slow down in

front of a church if the bride and groom are coming out, just so I can see the dress. I am attending the wedding of a friend's daughter next Saturday and I can't wait...she is the first of our Sunday School class to marry off a child where we can all attend.

You can have a terrific wedding without spending a huge amount of money. It just takes planning, and being very certain of what you really want.

I think our wedding probably cost around $2000, tops. That is everything: flowers, party room, dress/tux, photography, cake, food, etc. We had about 125 people; finger food and cake and punch.
Of course we did get married in a rural area and the hotel banquet room we used only cost $50. That helped a lot.

No big dance, no huge dinner, no open bar but a great time with our friends and lots of gorgeous photos .....

[xmas74]

57. I always swore that if I ever got married it wouldn't be

traditional. I just want a simple service in the family church(it's in the middle of the woods and absolutely beautiful but very small. Nothing grand at all about the church but it belongs to my family. I have family buried on the grounds there.) I don't want any expensive clothes, fancy banquets or anything that costs tons of money. I'd prefer after a simple ceremony to have a bbq w/ lots of picnic-style food that everyone could actually enjoy. I want to drink some beer, get silly and celebrate the bonds of family.