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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:28 AM
Original message
Poll question: Does public breast-feeding make you uncomfortable?
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM by Shell Beau
I ask this b/c I read an article in Glamour about it. Two women debated both sides of the argument. I can see both sides. On one side, we are a modest society where most forms of public nudity is frowned upon. Whether that is right or wrong is another issue. A lot of people are uncomfortable with seeing this in public. On the other side, women were made with breasts basically so they could feed their children (like many animals). It is a natural thing, and they should feed their children when they are hungry. Should they go somewhere else so everyone around them is more comfortable or just do what is right for them and their baby?

I personally do not have children yet. I intend to breastfeed, but I am pretty modest and will choose not to do it in public.
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
1. I prefer to see a nipple, rather than hearing a baby cry frankly.
nt
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I can certainly understand that.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
7. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
3. old flamewar, meet new thread
:thumbsup:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:30 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. Why does anything that involves
anything people may disagree on automatically mean a flamewar to you?
We are adults here and can discuss issues that we may disagree on.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:31 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. That's a nice thought, but
I would put money on STM's hypothesis.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:33 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. But I am not intending on a flamewar.
This wasn't started to get arguments going. I want to know how people feel on this. It got me thinking when I read the article and I thought it would be a good topic to discuss.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #13
18. I know. Most people aren't looking for one.
It just happens (see post #9).

FWIW, I have no problem with public breast feeding. The child needs to eat, and if some other kid (or adult) is going to be traumatized by seeing a nipple or a breast, well, don't go past a newsstand.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #18
24. True. Most magazines show more boob than you would see
while someone is breastfeeding.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:35 AM
Original message
you might not be aware
of how many flamewars have been started on DU about this topic.

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:39 AM
Response to Original message
30. No wasn't aware.
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 08:52 AM by Shell Beau
I don't see why we can't discuss things civilly. Oh! well!
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #30
45. I thought I said it nicely
Oh well...
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #45
47. I am sorry. You did, I was just
trying to answer all that had told me. I realized I was snappy and edited my post. Please accept my apology for being rude. :pals:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #47
48. no problem
:pals:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #48
56. Good! Thanks for understanding!
;-)
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #13
23. Your intentions are no doubt good, but this own gets out
of reality-based control fast.

Here's hoping that some of us are proved wrong.

:hi:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #23
31. I hope so!
:hi:
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deutsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #3
20. My thought, too
:popcorn:
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
4. Never during a Congressional hearing
Unless you don't mind me sipping on a Super Big Gulp on the front row while Conyers is talking.
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Racenut20 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
5. Not when I am hungry.
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:30 AM
Response to Original message
6. Only when the kid bites down...
:yoiks:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #6
84. Beat me to it.
:hi:
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #84
86. ;-)
:hi: MrsG!
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Texasgal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:31 AM
Response to Original message
9. Oh no...
not again.

This caused a huge ruckus several months ago.

I am sure you had no idea, but this subject was beaten to death!

Be sure to zip up your flame retardant suit!! :)

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:34 AM
Response to Reply #9
15. No I had no idea.
Like I said, I read about it last night in my Glamour magazine that came in the mail yesterday. I did not know that this was a flaming topic.
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Texasgal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:36 AM
Response to Reply #15
21. I totally understand...
I was just warning ya hon... it got pretty nasty last time! :P
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #21
34. I guess I'll wait and see.
:scared:
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:32 AM
Response to Original message
11. Only if it's a baby
Breast feeding your five year old in public is creepy......
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:34 AM
Response to Reply #11
16. LOL! n/t
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #11
129. maybe
YOU breastfeeding your child might be creepy to you, but why project on others that choose differently? I don't think I would choose to bf that long either, but I certainly would withhold judgement unless I knew the circumstances. I'm just sayin'...

btw: the world health organization recommends a minimum of two years of breastfeeding, thereafter, as long as is 'mutually desired' by mother and child. The world average age for breastfeeding duration over recorded history is four years.
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omshanti Donating Member (851 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:32 AM
Response to Original message
12. What if the mother is discreet about it? (Using a blanket)
That is what *I* did when I had to nurse in public. Quite frankly, it took me a LONG time to get comfortable with it but I finally decided that my baby's needs come first. I avoided nursing in public as much as I could but there were times when it was the most expedient thing to do. (Baby started crying, couldn't find any place else to nurse).
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
14. if you can't bf in public...
then a new mom is basically confined to her house for the first 3 months of her newborn's life.

:shrug:

i'm pretty modest myself, but dammit, i wanted to see a baseball game. so my first public boob exposure happened at a major league baseball stadium. (i was terrified that i would end up on the jumbo screens!)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:36 AM
Response to Reply #14
22. I agree with you on that. I may do the same
when it comes down to it. I don't know yet b/c I don't have kids. Right now I am thinking of my embarrassment and not what anyone else thinks. Just b/c I am so modest, but I think you lose some of that modesty when you have a kid.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #22
26. yeah - the process of giving birth strips you of a lot of modesty
:hi:
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:39 AM
Response to Reply #26
29. ha! great minds...
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #26
35. I went through an ectopic last year and it kind of
stripped me of a lot of my modesty. Prodded and poked and all that fun stuff. I have never used stirrups so many times.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #22
28. You do lose a lot of modesty (so says my DW)
After being laid out in the hospital with a doc and about 8 nurses coming in and out - all modesty flies out the window at that point. And she never got it back.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:43 AM
Response to Reply #28
36. LOL!
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #22
85. I just had the kid eat
under one of those baby slings, and then later I wore a lot of vests with those breastfeeing shirts. No one ever saw anything that I recall.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:35 AM
Response to Original message
17. No it doesn't bother me
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 08:37 AM by supernova
I think it's beautiful and touching. edit: We need more beautiful, touching moments in our lives, and yes our public lives.

Most societies not of the western "civilized" variety breastfeed in public, and with a lot less modesty. Blankets and coverups be damned. If you haven't noticed I'm speaking of indigeneous cultures.

Although I do see the point that we are wierded out about nudity in general and fear of a public breast seems to be part of that.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #17
33. I'd love to see more breasts publicly!
Where's MATCOM??? He'll back me up on this!

:D
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Sannum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:35 AM
Response to Original message
19. not again...
:popcorn:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #19
27. Okay! I get the picture. This has already been discussed
and all that good flamewar stuff. I had no idea! :shrug:
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
25. I was so paranoid at first
that, in a restaurant, I took my infant into the ladies'room and crouched uncomfortably on the toilet.

A year later I was like, Screw anybody who doesn't like it, I'm feeding my baby.

Anyway, there is no need to expose the whole breast-- you can be discreet about it.

And you!! Stop craning your neck to look at me and then proclaim how OFFENDED you are!!
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #25
37. Right!
My friend breastfed while we were at a restaurant and I could hardly tell she was even doing it b/c she was covered really well.
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MindPilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:40 AM
Response to Original message
32. Doesn't bug me, but what does is these puerile asswipes
who will cream all over themselves at the sight of a rack, then pretend to be horribly offended and grossed out by breast feeding
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liontamer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:44 AM
Response to Original message
38. It makes me uncomfortable to see how much it disturbs others
people freak out way too much over breasts. many people freak out if a woman's nipples get hard in the cold. Breasts have just become highly fetishized in this society.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #38
41. Yeah and really their purpose is to feed babies.
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:45 AM
Response to Original message
39. It's cool...
It's probably some sort of public health risk to ask mothers to go into a TOILET to FEED their child. Who wants to eat lunch in a toilet?

I think just the tiniest amount of discretion is all that's called for. Just don't make a big show of it, or make it a political statement of defiance. Again, I don't care... I'm a big fan of breasts. But I think if a woman plays it just a little cool, the uptight folks in the room probably wouldn't even notice. But it should not be against the law.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:45 AM
Response to Original message
40. I think if women can do it discriminantly, please hear me out
I've seen both. I've seen a woman discreetly breastfeed their kid in public and I've seen women who whip out their breast for all to watch while they get the kid ready for breast feeding.

Personally, I think it's none of our business - it's just part of nature. But try to show a little bit of discretion in public
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #40
43. I agree with you!
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quisp Donating Member (926 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:46 AM
Response to Original message
42. I have 3 children (8, 4 1/2, 2 1/2)
and my wife is still breast-feeding the youngest.

I am a total advocate and it's such a shame (and kinda creepy, too) that breast are so sexualized.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:48 AM
Response to Reply #42
44. They are though and that is why it is
an issue. Breasts are meant to feed babies. That is their main purpose (maybe their sole purpose, but many men would disagree with that).
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all.of.me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:49 AM
Response to Original message
46. i think it is wonderful!
i will usually go up to a woman breastfeeding and coo at her baby. i love when babies nurse. it is the sweetest thing on the planet! i also hope that will make the mom more comfortable if she is feeling odd. no mother can refuse someone being ga-ga over her new baby! hahaha
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:00 AM
Response to Reply #46
53. With all due respect, I didn't mind people cooing at my child,
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:03 AM by blondeatlast
but not while breastfeeding. That would give me the jitters, it could just be me. But that's me and baby time.

It never happened to me (I couldn't bf, try as I wanted to), but it would have made me uncomfortable. After bf, no problem.

I am NOT trying to escalate this. That's just my respectful dissent.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:07 AM
Response to Reply #53
62. I understand totally!
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all.of.me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #53
120. i don't go to escalate mode very easily.
respectful dissent respected!
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CBHagman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
49. I've only seen it done discreetly.
Mothers I've known have gracefully fed their children in church and in a professor's office, and even in the stockroom of a store.

I feel there should be safe, quiet places for women to breast-feed their kids, such as a couch in a restroom, but that's simply not always possible.

Two things bother me: When people treat it like a state secret and when people flash the flesh unnecessarily. One is prudish and the other is exhibitionist.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
50. Done discreetly..
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 08:55 AM by sendero
.... of course not. It's natural. Now, taking a piss is also natural, but I don't really want to watch that.

But babies need to be fed on a frequent and regular schedule. Child-rearing is tough enough without putting more restrictions on the mother.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:57 AM
Response to Reply #50
51. Good point!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 08:59 AM
Response to Original message
52. I think it's wonderful!!
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:00 AM by Rabrrrrrr
It means the mom isn't giving the kid fucking formula crap, and as pointed out, it's a totally natural human function. No need for shame for breastfeeding.


NB: I realize some kids are allergic to milk or have other health issues and NEED formula and some mom's don't make enough milk or have too much pain; I'm only bitching about those mothers who are too lazy to breasfeed and instead fill their kids up with chemicals because it's "more convenient".
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:00 AM
Response to Reply #52
54. Some women can't breastfeed and therefore have to
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:01 AM by Shell Beau
use the formula. My SIL's breasts got infected so bad that she couldn't continue to breastfeed. But I agree with everything else you said.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #54
55. Yep, read my post - I said that
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:02 AM by Rabrrrrrr
But wrote it in an edit, so you might not have seen it yet.

And thanks!
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:02 AM
Response to Reply #55
57. No didn't see that at first. But yep, totally agree!!
:)
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:07 AM
Response to Reply #52
63. Thanks for the voice of sanity concerning those of us who weren't able
to bf.

I tried with a lactation expert for weeks with my son just not interested (he was slightly low birth weight and delivered early due to my diabetes).

I often feel like I can't even say it out loud. No one can know how hard I tried (hey, if you want to save mama energy; what beats bf?!), but my son would have starved, and I would have gone batshit if I'd kept trying!
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:16 AM
Response to Reply #63
69. It is your decision. And if you can't, well then, you just can't.
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:16 AM by Shell Beau
Babies have to eat. Period. You shouldn't feel bad at all.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #63
77. No problemo!
Sadly, not every woman gets to do it.
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sybylla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #52
78. Thanks, Rabrrrrr
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 09:50 AM by sybylla
I'll tell my kids how fucked up they are because I was too lazy and needlessly filled them with chemicals when they were babies because it was way more convenient, especially on a one income household having to spend $200 a month on formula.

I'm sure they'll be convinced I abused them and sue my pants off to pay for the ensuing psychiatric bills.

Oh, and I used plastic diapers instead of a cloth diaper service.

What the fuck was I thinking? :crazy:
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sybylla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #78
79. Come to think of it, WTF was my mother thinking, stupid cow!
I feel so deprived, so abused.

That's it, I'm taking her birthday present back. :sarcasm:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 12:23 PM
Response to Reply #78
81. Um, sure.
:shrug:
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sybylla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #81
83. Thanks for that thoughful and heartfelt response
My point, subtle though it was, is that people who put a lot of thought into raising their children make all kinds of decisions for a variety of reasons, none of them selfish.

The decision to breast feed or not is as complicated and complex as the decision to have children, when to have them and how far apart they should be. It is a decision that should include both parents as well as doctors and nurses and should be based upon all the beneficial (nutrition, allergies, yadda, yadda) and negative factors (baby complications, scheduling, daycare, father's involvement, financial factors, psychological factors, job-related factors, yadda, yadda). Breast feeding doesn't happen in a vacuum. Of course if this were an ideal world with ideal parents and ideal babies, there would be no tough decisions to make.

Being a parent is a balancing act. You do what you can, when you can and hope love will do the rest. Thoughtful parents agonize over so many decisions for so long, you surely can understand that to have someone come along and pass blanket judgements, second guess your difficult decisions and blast you because they disagree with one is highly offensive.

I have several friends who all breastfed their boys, but everyone of them is circumcized, an entirely unnecessary and exceedingly painful surgery accomplished without anesthesia that can have serious complications. But who am I to say. They are doing what they think is best in their situation.

I have an aunt who breastfed her two children until they were 4 years old, but the woman didn't have a clue about how to be a mother beyond that. She did the best she could with what she had and with the help of the family.

My mom and millions of moms of her generation didn't breastfeed their children because the best medical advice at the time recommended cows milk. My parents had their son circumcised because at the time, that was the best medical advice.

Thoughtful parents make the best decisions they can based upon the circumstances and information available. Even if you have MD after your name, you have no right to make that decision for anyone. To condemn those who choose differently than you would is the height of arrogance and the epitome of ignorance.

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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
58. People eat in public all the time
so what's the big deal?
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
59. only when she is really tall
strains my neck sometimes
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Eurobabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
60. I nursed both my girls back in the early 80s
and always did it discreetly, but this country has such hang ups over breasts. It was refreshing to live in Europe a few years ago, because no one really cared where or how a mom nursed her child. Drape or no drape.

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:06 AM
Response to Reply #60
61. We are a much more modest society that Europe.
I don't know why but we are.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #61
89. it was the
(whispers) Puritans. ;)
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #60
73. I never used a drape or blanket or anything of that sort.
I had several reasons - the first being that my kids simply couldn't stand having something over their heads like that. Another reason is that the drape/blanket/covering only draws attention to the fact that you are nursing.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
64. I don't understand why anyone . . .
would feel any more uncomfortable about seeing a baby being breastfed than seeing a baby being bottlefed. :shrug:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:11 AM
Original message
Some people are freaked out by seeing breasts publicly.
I think it is b/c it is drilled into our heads that nudity is a private thing. But breastfeeding isn't about nudity, but people can't seem to get past that.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
66. Thanks for raising the topic, Shell.
I've never been bothered by it. Kids gotta eat.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:14 AM
Response to Reply #66
67. Like someone else said, I would rather see a boob than
hear a hungry baby cry!
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #67
71. Most of the time you don't see a boob anyway.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:28 AM
Response to Reply #71
75. Most women cover themselves fairly well.
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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
108. I disagree. At least for me (and one of the posters above) it
is an intimate moment between mother and child. I don't care about seeing someone's breasts but I'm not really interested in seeing someone else's intimate moment.

Maybe it's me. I bought all the myths about breastfeeding being a bonding experience between mother and child, I didn't think it was just like eating a Big Mac.
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Bridget Burke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
65. Of course not.
Most women aren't willing or able to hide in their houses until the kid is weaned.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
68. No, no, no. No, it does not.
Did I say no?


(By the way...I never thought I would nurse in public either, but I did, many times. It was either that or stay home.)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #68
70. I guess I'll find out when I have kids. Never say never, right?
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:18 AM
Response to Reply #70
72. You may discover that you are right...
and that you don't want to BFIP. On the other hand, you might surprise yourself. :)
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:20 AM
Response to Original message
74. No.
It's not my tits they're chewing on.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #74
90. uh
nope, not saying anything! ;)
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #90
115. Thanks for acknowledging my geode.
I guess I should post winkies after stuff like that, but I'm just not that winky. It's nice that you are, though.

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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:06 AM
Response to Reply #74
132. well, you could offer to help out...


yep, the photo is real, and yep, men can and have breastfed babies successfully! :-) Rare...but possible.
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 09:44 AM
Response to Original message
76. Well, I've been weaned for many years so, yes,
breast feeding in public would embarass me! Oh wait -- what is that you say? Oh, you mean witnessing breast feeding? Silly me -- no, I don't have a problem with it.

Never mind </emily litella>
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prole_for_peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 12:23 PM
Response to Original message
80. when i see a woman bfing in public, i look around to see
who looks to be "offended" by it so i can laugh at them. i enjoy anything that gets uptight prudish people's panties in a knot. i am bad that way.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
82. In general, no. I'm happy to see women dealing with infant care
in a natural and confident way.

But it is possible, and I say this having seen as much, to breast feed in a way that is intended as a spectacle with erotic overtones. And ~that~ makes me uncomfortable. If you want to feed your kid, excellent. If you're looking for an excuse to show the world your boobies, get a webcam and leave me the heck out of it.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #82
88. Errr, perhaps your interpretation...
since a mother would not be "intending" to be a spectacle or erotic while feeding her child.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #88
91. No, I'm pretty certain this one did.
It's perhaps not wise to assume that all mothers have the same agenda. I was pretty clear that I feel most women and simply trying to feed their children. Surely you can't think that every mother of an infant child has only the purest motivations. Having given birth doesn't make a woman's character suddenly saintly.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #91
95. you are absolutely correct
and we do tend to think in terms of absolutes when we're talking about things like this. thanks for phrasing it so well.
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #91
97. wtf does feeding a child have to do with being "saintly"?
Feeding and occasionally pacifying is the only motive. A woman's character has absolutely nothing to do with it.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #82
92. do you really think women are
trying to make it an erotic spectacle... I've never seen anyone do that. I guess I wonder if some folks in general ( not you, S) are projecting a lot and assuming that some moms are exhibitionists?

Most of us are just thinking that we want junior to be happy and fed.

:)
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #92
113. Again I refer back to my post.
I didn't say all women, or even women in general who are breast feeding do this. I don't even imply that the majority do it. I simply state that it's possible and that I've seen it.

I'm not projecting. I'm simply observing that if an exhibitionist gets knocked up and has a child, she's not likely to stop being an exhibitionist simply because she now has a child.

I repeat that I'm fairly certain most women who breastfeed their infants are simply trying to get a meal into junior and I have no problem with that. But just as I would observe that most men in bicycle shorts are not trying to show me their package, not all women who are breastfeeding are simply trying to provide a meal. It is more than possible to breastfeed in a way that is intended as a spectacle.



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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #113
116. no I didn't say YOU per se were projecting :)
but I think some people do. I guess it is just so far from my experience, that I can't really picture anyone being exhibitionistic while doing this. It is just so contradictory to the point of breastfeeding in my view. JMO.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #116
121. You're right.
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 05:55 PM by SarahBelle
I'm a women who, while I can't say I'm an exhibitionist per say, I worked very hard AFTER I had my kids to get a pretty nice bod back and I do like to be pretty and I like to be noticed (my 20's were essentially spent in t-shirts and sweatpants with elastic). It's not the only thing I am by a longshot, but yeah, it's a part of me and I'm not ashamed of that. I am a mother and a Feminist and have had to be strong in ways most people can't imagine, but does it negate my sexuality? No. Does the fact I fit within certain culturally defined images of female sexuality negate my Feminism and my being? No.

That being said, no matter who I am, back when I was a nursing mom, I was concerned only with the well-being of my children. I was rather chubby and my boobs were enormous and I was constantly self-conscious and uber discreet every time I did breastfeed publicly because of that. Was I trying to sexualize it? Never. I was trying to meet the needs of my babies despite that feeling of self-consciousness about my body because I loved them and THEY came first.

Hubris and inappropriate assumptions is a dangerous thing. :eyes:
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #121
124. yeah
in any other culture but ours, would this even be an issue that would raise eyebrows or debate? It's kind of weird. Goes with the wonderful Puritan ethos that seems to underlie so many of these issues in America.

:hi:
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #121
126. All very nice, to be sure.
Of course it has almost nothing to do with my post.

I don't know why I have to keep repeating this and detailing it but here's the outline:

The original question was does breastfeeding in public make you uncomfortable.

My answer was "No, it doesn't in general." But like most folk, I don't live in a universe where things are either good or bad, black or white, completely right or completely wrong.

I'm not referencing you and your children.
I'm not referencing you and your sexuality.
I'm not referencing your self-image.

I knew a woman, a girl really, hopefully she's evolved in her life. She had very little interest in her child (who was eventually removed from the home by court order and placed with the father's parents). The only occasion she found to even feed that child was a few times when she made a grand production out of exposing herself to a man she'd rather pointedly been trying to get into bed with. It's her I think of when I say that yes, it's possible for me to be uncomfortable with the act of breastfeeding, even if I'm not generally.

Why so many people would choose to overlook the initial statement that "No, in general it does not make me uncomfortable," and personalise and take affront at the idea that it's possible to sexualise this behavior is baffling to me.

No, Sarah, I don't imagine that you beat and abuse your children. But the fact that I don't believe this about you does not in any way mean that I feel it impossible for any mother, any where to ever do such a thing.

No, I don't think most nursing women mean to sexualise their behaviour, but the fact that I think this doesn't by any means indicate it is a human impossibility. Where there are human beings involved any number of irrational or odd acts are possible.

What I don't find a particularly sane argument is the belief that no nursing mother could possibly be trying to sexualise the act of nursing. Can folks really be considering the depth and breadth of the pool of human existence when they make such a declaration?

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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:40 AM
Response to Reply #126
128. I suppose it's possible.
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 01:40 AM by SarahBelle
Anything is possible really and I don't look at things as black and white and I pride myself on keeping an open mind. I just have worked with (in a professional capacity) and known many a nursing mom and in my experience, I have not personally encountered a woman like this. I'm sure you have or that was your perception based upon your own experiences with her and otherwise. I'd just have to say in my experience anyway, this hasn't been the case with any of the hundreds of nursing woman I have known. Like I said though, anything is possible. I give you that.

Please though, in the future, do not make any statements with me beating or not beating children in them.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #82
100. whatever
Edited on Tue Jul-12-05 02:02 PM by Amaya
:eyes:
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #100
114. Backatchya, chica.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #82
123. Note to SOteric: Reading comprehension and boobies don't mix
Especially when you don't use qualifiers like "possible" and "if"

Just what the hell ~we're~ you thinking posting that completely unwavering and insensitive broad-brush post anyway?

:7 :rofl:
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 12:15 AM
Response to Reply #123
127. *snerk*
You'd a thunk that if anyone would be moonstruck reading about boobies, it woulda been you, ya big assbucket.

:hug:
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RPM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
87. "Hope you brought enough for everyone!!!"
that creeps the mother out...
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #87
96. Kind of like on Me, Myself, and Irene?
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RPM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #96
99. huh?
was that in a movie?!?!?!

GODDAMN IT - i hate when i think that I have thought of somethign funny and someone has already done it and I didnt know :cry:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #99
101. There was this woman who was pretty heavily endowed.
She was feeding her baby and then Jim Carry's crazy character yanked off the baby and started to feed and suck!
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RPM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #101
103. oh - Jim Carrey was in it
thats one of the many reasons i think i missed that movie.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:01 PM
Response to Reply #103
106. Yeah, but it was actually pretty good. At least to me.
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RPM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #106
107. i am not a movie person
i did like his liar liar movie...
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
93. You say you will choose not to do it in public
but you might be faced with the choice of doing it in public or never going out. My daughter wouldn't take a bottle and I had no intention of running way out to the car every time she wanted to nurse. And people can see in the car too so that's not all that private anyway.

Nor would I ever feed any child anything in a public bathroom.

Anyway, just keep your options open. It can be done discretely if discretion is what you're worried about. When you do have a baby, watch yourself in a mirror and you'll know what other people see so you don't imagine it's more revealing than it is :)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #93
104. I said later down in the thread that I will never say never.
I really don't know what I'll do until the time comes.
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bratcatinok Donating Member (786 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
94. Makes for the worlds most portable baby!
Grab a few disposable diapers, a change of clothes for just in case and your good to go anywhere.

As far as doing it in public, babies don't always co-operate because sometimes they get hungry when there's no private place to nurse.

My son is 29 years old and I nursed him for a year...in Houston. A light covering for the baby to keep air conditioning drafts off can turn into a modest drape to keep prying eyes to themselves.

A baby can get distracted after suckling for a few minutes and start looking around so there's nothing wrong with using a light wrap as a drape to keep baby and breast covered. Also there are times when baby is hungry but your milk may be a bit delayed in letting down. Once it does let down it can do so with a vengeance and the baby has to let go and then root around again to find the nipple. I don't know about you but I never wanted to spray anyone standing somewhat close to me with mother's milk.

Now, as far as carrying baby off to some nasty public bathroom in order not to offend others...well, bah on them! It's entirely possible to breastfeed in public using said light drape and no one will be the wiser. Besides, which would they prefer??? A screaming, hungry baby or a baby tucked into the crook of your arm with a light blankie covering Mom and baby.

I also don't like the women who whip their breasts out with no cover and let the world see what should be an intimate moment between a Mom and her baby.
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
98. Only after my daughter started getting teeth
Before then I had no problems with it.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
102. No.
I have no discomfort with the human body. I've spent years of my life as a nursing mom. This is simple an absolute non-issue for me to the zillionth degree and it continually amazes me that it is for anyone.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #102
105. Exactly
Very well said.

:hi:
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RedCloud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
109. Way too open minded to discourage a mammalian tradition!
However the sounds of the young babe nursing does lull me to sleep.
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youthere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
110. Nope..not in the least.
Not when I was nursing my three kids and not now when I see women breast feeding theirs. When I was nursing my first one, when she was newborn I was a little modest, but that faded pretty quick, I think most bf'ing moms go through the same thing. Screaming, hungry baby trumps modesty every time.
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m_welby Donating Member (508 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
111. always was for me, of course

I'm a guy, so it made my nipples sore and the baby angry (lol)

- seriously, I don't care if a mother feeds her baby. Now public diaper changing (like at the restaraunt table) is something else. (i can see it going in, but I don't want to see it coming out).

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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
112. Nope.
Babies have to eat, even when Mom might be in an inopportune location. It's either breastfeeding in public or deal with a screaming baby in public. Take your pick.

Besides, it's about as natural an act as there is in the world.
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cajones_II Donating Member (149 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
117. If the kid is over 10, it's kinda creepy
:scared:
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
118. Well, when I see one doing it, I'll let you know.
Do I care? Naah.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
119. I breastfed my son. I used a baby blanket over my shoulder and breast...
so that no one would be offended, but I did it in public.

I did not go to the restroom to breastfeed my son. Would you eat a sandwich while sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom?

No one ever complained or gave me dirty looks.
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aeolian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
122. As long as the breastfeeding is human-to-human, it's OK by me.
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fortyfeetunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-12-05 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
125. A retired lactivist!
I had absolutely no compunction about nursing my kid in public. When I was pregnant, I discovered a website for making nursing clothes, www.elizabethlee.com, bought a few patterns, and made outfits to wear at work (so I could pump in an office) and swim suits. I nursed in planes, trains, boats, cars, malls, halls but not a restroom stall.

Now that my nursing days are long over, I fully support women who breastfeed in public. Call me a retired lactivist!

As for the "modesty" aspect, whose business is it when a woman's nipple inadvertently gets exposed? After all, as my kid would say, it's a "milk port" and not a sexual object....



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Bat Boy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:47 AM
Response to Original message
130. Breast feeding is more frustrating than uncomfortable.
I've spent hours trying, but I can't get them to eat a damn thing.
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
131. only in the US do we have to even have this discussion!
probably a few other places, but the US takes the cake when it comes to breastfeeding hang-ups...



If I remember correctly, this woman is talking to the President of Venezuela, he doesn't seem to be bothered at all...imagine shrub in this situation!
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