Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login

It's 10:40 PM. Do you know where George Michael is?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
Bush_Eats_Beef Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-07-05 12:39 AM
Original message
It's 10:40 PM. Do you know where George Michael is?

Dennis Miller: You know, the Grammys were held Wednesday evening and George Michael failed to show up to collect his award for Album of the Year. But he's here tonight to tell us why. George Michael.

George Michael: (leather jacket, shades, British accent) All right, all right. Thank you. (cheers and applause) Faith. Thank you. Thank you, Dennis. You know, I've been rather busy lately, you know, starting work on the new album and filming videos, you know. Well, appearance is very important, as you know. Hair - is important. Face. And, of course, butt.

Dennis Miller: Well, George, if you're so concerned with your image, why were you a no-show at the Grammys?

George Michael: Butt maintenance is very important. And, in fact, that is why I missed the telly-cast. I began preparing my butt a full forty-eight hours before the Grammys. I did a mineral pre-soak. I plucked it, waxed it, buffed it. And, as I was applying the sealant, I looked up and Billy Crystal was saying, "Good night!"

Dennis Miller: Let's get back to your work, George. What about your new album?

George Michael: But - but look at it. Look at it. (rises, shows butt to Dennis) Don't - don't be afraid of it, Dennis. Don't deny it. Look at it. (wiggles butt) It's a nice butt. Look at it. It won't hurt you, Dennis. It's your friend.

Dennis Miller: Yeah. I know, George, I know, I know.

George Michael: (sits) You fear my butt because you don't understand it. You resist it like all the others before you, yet its power only grows. ...

Dennis Miller: Have you spoken to Andy Ridgeley lately?

George Michael: What about my butt?! (rises, shows butt to Dennis) Look at it! You can't take your eyes off it, can you?! (Dennis stares deadpan at the wiggling butt, occasionally glancing at the audience) It's hypnotic! Try to look away! You can't look away! Try to look away! You can't! Look at it! Look at it! (sits) Did you know - did you know, Dennis, that my butt has the power to heal? Put a wilted flower near my butt. It blooms! I don't claim to understand it, I'm only its servant!

Dennis Miller: George. George, man, let's get off the butt thing--

George Michael: Dennis, my butt will not be trifled with! (rises, shows butt to Dennis) Do its bidding, Dennis! Save yourself! Resist and die! Surrender and live eternally! My butt will prevail! It will outlive us all! For I have achieved perfect buttness! (cheers, applause and whistling as George Michael rises and rips off his microphone - he and his butt exit)

Dennis Miller: (after a pause) Bummer.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC