Are you a member of HBI?

[Maddy McCall]

I posted this in another thread, but since it's so funny, I thought it deserves its own thread. If you have never perused this website, it is worth an evening looking around, especially at the hall of shame page where HBI makes fun of other people's websites.



http://www.heartless-bitches.com/

The Heartless Manifesto


Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)

Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?

Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?

Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?

Does the sight of an incredibly handsome man turn you off, cause so many of them have room-temperature IQ's, and obnoxious or non-existent personalities? (Forrest, you can substitute "women" here--LOL!)

Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?

Are you fed up with women who feel they HAVE to be in a "Relationship" in order to be whole, and will sacrifice their self-esteem and personal growth in order to avoid being on their own?

Are you tired of men and women who are emotional children, and won't accept responsibility for their actions or behavior?

Do you want to SMACK women who play "helpless" just to gain male attention and stroke male egos?

Have you run out of sympathy for your Female friends who continually whine about how awful MEN ARE, but then they keep dating the same kind of ASSHOLES, over and OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!?

Are you fed up with your Male friends who are looking to date a woman with the appearance of a supermodel, and yet they continually whine about how "women don't like nice guys - they only want good-looking assholes"???

Do the words "If you REALLY loved me...." turn your heart to ice??!!!

Do you retch in response to "The Rules", and laugh uproariously at "The Code"?

Have you HAD IT with people telling you that you are TOO LOUD, TOO ASSERTIVE, or TOO OPINIONATED?

Do you wish you had a button that said: "Thank you for sharing, now SHUT UP and quit Whining!" ????

Do you ever get tired of those whiners and their online "journals"? Or the guys who hit on you and you politely decline, and they keep pestering you and pestering you, and pestering you like some obnoxious, festering, pus-filled sore, until you finally have to WHAP them over the head with a VERY LARGE CLUE-BY-FOUR (tm)....?

Do you feel like you might as well "get hung for a sheep as a lamb", because no matter how POLITELY you try to turn down some guy's advances, you invariably get called a "Bitch"? (Forrest, you don't HAVE to answer this one. )

If you answered YES to all of the above, (or if Forrest, to all that apply) then Heartless Bitches International wants YOU. Heartless Bitches is now recruiting! Join up and be proud to use phrases like:


"Keep it in your pants, asshole"
"Oh why don't you just masturbate and get over it!?"
"No, you can't watch."
"Wah, fuckin', Wah."

All card-carrying members will be sent a card to carry (if you send in the SASE), so you can proudly display your HBI membership card when some clueless jerk tries to give you grief.

[Cleita]

1. I saw it on the other thread and it does deserve it's own post.

Did you write this? If you didn't they may lock it for being posted in it's entirety. If you have time to edit, provide a link and chop it down to four paragraphs. It's too good for it to be locked.

[Maddy McCall]

2. It isn't in its entirity...

and I provided a link above, didn't I? If I didn't I will go back and edit it in.

Maybe the mods will be a little light on this one since it is afterall a checklist? Please?

Glad you like it!

[judge_smales]

3. Yup. I was even Bitch ot the Month

about 2 years ago. That site should be required reading for every American citiczen.

[Maddy McCall]

5. No way!

I fall on my knees and worship you! Hail to the Bitch of the Month! Hail to the Bitch of the Month! :-)

[judge_smales]

6. Oh, C'mon now.

It's not THAT big of a deal.


(But who knows- maybe I should put it on my resume)

[Maddy McCall]

8. Yes, definitely!!

I would shout it from the rooftops!

[bicentennial_baby]

4. Hey that's me!

:bounce:

[TreasonousBastard]

7. I wants me a heartless bitch!

Damn sick of women whining and slobbering over any little thing.

Stop complaining and just take a hike. Make it easy on the both of us.

And, howcum this thing's cheaper than the t-shirt--





I'm gonna get me wunna them, too.

'cause it's funny. and cheap.