Anyone every volunteered at a Shelter for Women?

[corarose]

One of the Chefs at my College asked me If I wanted to be a volunteer at a Battered Womens Shelter. They need someone to prepare meals for them and I would only be able to do 1 or 2 days per week at lunch time.

I know it would be rewarding but would it be so sad that it would depress you. I mean if you have been a battered person would it harm you in any way and bring back bad memories or depression?

[proud patriot]

1. I haven't vollunteered , but I

Just Donated my excellent Running car to STAND

[corarose]

3. That was a kind thing for you to do.

:loveya:

[Skittles]

2. DO IT CORAROSE

IT WILL NOT DEPRESS YOU; IT WILL FEEL EMPOWERING BECAUSE YOU ARE HELPING BREAK A CYCLE. Think of the kids' lives you will touch too,

[scarlet_owl]

4. As someone who has been a victim of abuse,

I think it would be very rewarding work. I already volunteer 20 hours a week, but if I didn't, I would definately volunteer at the women's shelter. My father once took some tomatoes he had grown over there, and he also took my little sister. She was going through this selfish phase. My father took her there to help him volunteer so that she could see that she has it pretty good. She played with the kids who live there and donated some of her old toys and clothes. I think she saw things differently after volunteering there. I think volunteering there would be more uplifting than sad. Good luck in your decision making!

[blm]

5. I did in a homeless shelter.

I used to cook humongous lasagnas, turkeys, stroganoffs, chilis. Pretty much anything I made at home I made ther. My turn was only twice a month, though. At this place we bought and prepared the foods as part of the volunteer program.

[Ilsa]

6. Yes, I volunteered when I was younger.

I went in at 7 am on Saturdays and stayed until 11 am, doing "intake" (not many at that hour of the morning), and helping to distribute sundries and toiletries.

Personally, I don't think that helping in this way is depressing. I think making the world a better place for someone who is on hard times improves life. I also think it can be a healing experience for those that have been brutalized by someone else, a sort of reclaiming of your power. But you need to be cautious that you don't immerse yourself in someone else's pain. Keep your boundaries strong and appropriate. Listen, empathize, don't judge.

I think preparing meals for them might be fun, and maybe you wouldn't necessarily have to be involved in the details of what brought them to the shelter.

Good luck.

[HEyHEY]

7. A friend of mine worked in one for a year

Want me to email and ask her?

[corarose]

8. Yes

I would appreciate it.

[youngred]

9. I have done it

I (a man) have always felt these places to be of the utmost importance and have committed time and donations to them. It's a very worthy cause and time, and it might do you some good to give back to people so in need, esp if you can empathize with them

[peacefreak]

10. I've been on both sides of the door.

When I served on the local board I was grateful to realize how far I've come.
Corarose, I know how strong you are. I think you would profit by it as well as the women & children you would come in contact with. And...what better way to give nuturance than with your gift of food.

[alwynsw]

11. I tried to once

but I have a PENIS. I understand that battered women rarely want to be in the company of any male, but I was volunteering for outside duties that would have, at most, put me no closer than the outside, public area of the property.

The tone and body language of the shelter manager made it quite clear that she felt that I was just another abuser waiting to explode.

When will people understand that their prejudices, regardless of rationalization, cause more harm than they realize? I'll never attempt to volunteer there again.

*rant closed*

[corarose]

12. I have never been battered by a man

My Sister has been abusive in the past and she still is. She doesn't have anywhere to stay so I let her sleep on my floor. I will never be rid of her so I might be a bad example for the ladies.

If a man every hit me I would hit him back. My parents never fought but I had an Uncle who use to beat on my Aunt and when the kids grew up they beat the hell out of him. He was a mean drunk.

[SiobhanClancy]

15. That's too bad...

My ex-husband worked at a shelter in Maine. He came in specifically to interact with the children...read to them,etc...to provide a postive male role model. Sometimes,he even took our daughter to work with him. I thought that was great then,and I still do today:)

[lpbk2713]

17. He's a better man than I am.

I would be alright until I saw bruised and bandaged women and kids and then I'm afraid I might lose my objectivity and want to get to personally involved. I'm afraid I might want to even the score.

[Kamika]

16. We got guys

We have lots of guys working where i am

Altough the shelter i work at is run by my church. So you wouldnt like it, they have to memorize the bible and get baptized before they get help

(jesus it was a joke we dont force them to do anything stop pm's) :p

[Maddy McCall]

20. That is just crap! Putting such conditions on offering help to needy

people. Are you serious? People have to memorize verses and be baptized before they get help?

A joke? YOu have a very strange sense of humour. Is this as joke in the same vein as your recent "just joking" bulimia posts? You were serious when you originally posted, and when people pointed out that you might have a problem, you resorted to saying, "just joking."

I have a feeling what you said is TRUE, and that your church does force religion down the throats of the needy before helping them.

[Kamika]

22. jesus

Yes .. youre right.. its all true, not only that, they have to memorize the old testament too. Or our ministers spank them


Btw i never said anything about joking in that throwing up post.

[Maddy McCall]

24. To save you embarassment, I won't rehash that thread here...

but you have a VERY BAD ATTITUDE when it comes to helping the needy. You have posted this same shit in other threads on benevolence before, and YOU weren't joking.

IF you recall, most of us tried to talk you out of helping the needy, because your attitude was so hostile toward them.

[Kamika]

26. ok pm me with it

See i know i never said i was joking about me doing that.. so please pm me with it and prove me wrong.

put up or sh*t up

[Maddy McCall]

30. Here's the other thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=170857#172669

post 54.

[Maddy McCall]

28. Here you go:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=20636#20834

Just for your edification. By the way, after rereading through the thread above, I was reminded of the depth of your ugliness toward unfortunate people, so I won't be responding to you on this after this post.

[Kamika]

29. omg no

whatever shall I do :cry:

[grannylib]

13. Survivor and Volunteer says go for it

As one who has been a battered wife and who also worked in a shelter, I say do it, but know the risks you face.
We had a woman come to us with her small infant, and we had to hide her in an inner closet and were all in fear for our lives because her husband was cruising up and down the street in front of the shelter with a shotgun out the window hoping to get a glimpse of her.
The local law enforcement center was at that time located TWO BLOCKS from the shelter yet it took cops over HALF AN HOUR to show up and arrest the guy.
Talk about the good ol' boy network...

[Kamika]

14. i work at one every week

You dont get depressed.. but you get cynical like hell.

I never been battered so i dunno how bad it would be for someone that has.

[Maddy McCall]

21. What is there to get cynical about?

The fact that they refuse your help when you tell them they have to be baptized first?

[Kamika]

23. lol

Well ill answer this seriously.. buy you seriously cracked me up..


You get cynical cuz you see so many drug users etc that you just cant help.. or as you wrotewomen that goes back to their husband that keeps beating her.

[Maddy McCall]

25. Do you remember the previous thread on this topic where

you were so overtly hostile toward those who came to your church for help that everyone at DU who responded to that thread asked you to stay away from outreach activities. You really need to temper your hostility toward less fortunate PEOPLE.

I did not say that I was cynical about women going back to abusers, I said it made me angry. It is a whole psychological problem that I would never discuss with someone as insensitive and hostile as you, though.

[Kamika]

27. No i dont remember that

Can you pm me with what that thread was about orbetter yet the link

[Maddy McCall]

31. See posts 28, 30.

[Don_G]

18. I Help Out At A Men's Shelter From Time-To-Time

I'm cynical too, but you soon learn to know who needs a helping hand and which SOB's are trying to suck the system dry to maintain their habits.

I suppose 20 years experience as an Telephone Installer/Repairman gave me a few insights too.

[Maddy McCall]

19. Yes...I have

and used the services provided by one, also, and it helped me to leave an abusive marriage.

No, it didn't bring back bad feelings about the abuse I went through; it made me feel great that I was helping women leave the same situation that I had gone through. I did become angry at the women who would come for a day, beaten to hell and back, and then the next day would have already gone back to their abusers.

cora, I wouldn't think twice about this. I would do it. There will probably be women with kids there, too, so you never know the difference you can make in their lives.

Do it. :loveya:

[areschild]

32. Reminder about cell phones.

If you have any cell phones that you're not using, I think the women's shelters take them so they can call 911 if necessary.

[corarose]

33. Cell phones that don't have a service?

I have plenty of them.

[Don_G]

34. It Dosen't Matter If They're Paid

By law, all cell phone service has the capability to dial 911 if the batteries are charged.