When I was but a wee worm, before I entered my chrysalis...

[Modem Butterfly]

...my grandmother used to sing me this charming ditty:

My brother sells condoms to sailors
My sister she pricks them with pins
My mother performs the abortions
My god how the money rolls in!

Strange woman, my grandmother.

[onager]

1. Heh! My mom used to sing this one to me...

Lovely tune, but I'm sure the lyrics helped make me the strange person I am today...

We walked along, we talked along, till we stood on level ground
Then I picked me up an edgewood stick, and knocked that fair girl down
She fell upon her bended knee, "Oh lord have mercy," she cried,
"Willie my dear, don't kill me here, I'm so afraid to die."

No attention did I pay, I beat her more and more
I beat her till the ground around stood in a bloody gore
I stabbed her with my dagger, which was a great long knife
And oh how I laughed and laughed, as I took that poor girl's life

I grabbed her by her long yellow hair, I dragged her round and round
Then I threw her in the still waters deep,
That run thru Knoxville town...

About 6 weeks or later, that Knoxville girl was found
Floating in the river that runs thru Knoxville town
Her sister swore my life away, she swore without a doubt
She swore I was the very lad that laid her sister out...