Jack Van Impe and Rexella (Inspired by Archae)

[MrScorpio]

"Michael Jackson in hospital bed with bad cracked back, Jack?"


"The signs are clear, Rexalla.

In the Book of John, Chapter 12, Verse 14 it says,
'Jesus found a young donkey and sat upon it, as it
is written,' and in Revelation, Chapter 11, Verse 7,
'Now when they have finished their testimony, the
beast that comes up from the Abyss will attack them,
and overpower and kill them.'

The implications are abundantly clear,Ladies and Gentlemen...

If Michael Jackson is found guilty, we're all fucked."

[SlavesandBulldozers]

1. close your eyes

i warned you.

that hair is fucking amazing.

[A HERETIC I AM]

8. UH! OH!!! UH!! There's a hair out of place!!!! ...um...oops.....

never mind...it was one of mine on my monitor......sorry.

Jack is a riot. He might want you to THINK the end is near, but he STILL wants you to buy a fucking book!

PS. I think Rexella is sorta hot. I have fantasies of her dressed like a Greek palace guard and sloooowly taking off those shoes with the big pom pom tassle thingys on the toe and sexily rolling down those white stockings, with that white pleated short skirt riding up over her round, puffy buttocks, all the while her rifle is within reach.....:::Whack::: sorry...i had to hit myself with a tire iron. But then, i also think there is some good in Dubya......er....::Whack:::; ok....i feel better now...i had to hit my head with a hammer.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

13. dude i was going to post that Rexella is

kind of hot too, in that sort of disturbed, deer-in-headlights-easy-sleazy kind of way. we all know the type. Jack is one lucky sociopath.

whew I'm glad I'm not alone.

I'm off to find a tire-iron.

end is near. .. buy another book. bahahahaha so goddamn true!

[SpiralHawk]

2. Rexxxellllaaaaaa ! Get a grip.

You could do so much better. You know what's really going down, don't you, Ms. Rexxxellllaaaaa.

[LostInAnomie]

3. Those people are insane.

I watched an episode a long time ago and they were actually saying that the opening of Euro-Disney was a sign of the Apocalypse.

I think Jack needs to keep an eye on ol' Rexella. She is awful flirty with Chuck O'Man.

[deutsey]

12. My favorite claim of his was that UFOs are driven by satanic angels

and somehow linked UFO sightings with some obscure scripture verse.

[LostInAnomie]

4. Delete - Dupe

It wasn't that good that it needs to be posted again.

[Archae]

5. Now you can come over and do my laundry!

I just laughed so hard I peed. :rofl:

Oh shit, that was funny.

[Reverend_Smitty]

6. I actually enjoy watching those 2

they are so ape shit crazy I can't help but laugh at them. Their pre-occupation with the end times is quite comical

[chickenscratching]

9. they are always good for a laugh

I agree with your post on all counts; I'm desperately awaiting the day that Rexella's face falls off.

I'm curious if she gets plastic surgery that is payed for by all the donaters and contributers.

Hey Rev, do you ever watch Jan Crouch? Now THAT's some funny stuff.


she had her breasts payed for via the church :eyes:

[Reverend_Smitty]

10. I get a kick out of watching them all

A sort of guilty pleasure. They would all be pure comic gold except for the fact that they influence so many feeble minded people aka fundies...again I wouldn't mind that except that the fundies have become such a powerful political force in this country.

[Strawman]

7. lol. that is so goddamn funny

I watch them all the time for shits and giggles. My friend waited on him once. Said he was very nice. I never hear them saying intolerant fundie stuff (though they may very well hold those beliefs), just crazy ass end of the world shit.

[MrScorpio]

11. Van Impe is my favorite televangelist

He's very entertaining and the least ass-holy of them all

[CubsFan1982]

14. LOL

Those two are hilarious as all hell. :D