Words to live by.

[MrScorpio]

And you can quote me on this.

"You know the best thing about chronic pessimism is that you're never disappointed."

To a good buddy: "You know if you weren't so clinically depressed, you wouldn't be such a downer"

"I wouldn't be a paranoid-schizophrenic if my multiple personalities weren't out to get me."

"The best thing about insomnia is that you don't waste so much time sleeping."

"If it ain't funky, I ain't feeling it."

[dolo amber]

1. Dr. Johnny Fever...

"Y'know, when everyone's out to get you, paranoid's just a good way to be." :D

[salmonhorse]

5. "Just because you're paranoid...

"...doesn't mean that they aren't after you."

~ Lenny Bruce ~

[lynndew2]

2. Joke em if they cant take a F@ck

n/t

[MrScorpio]

3. More Words

"If you come in second place, it only means that you're the first loser"

"If masterbation disappoints you, you only have yourself to blame."

"You can be sure that that cop will give you a traffic ticket instead of issuing a warning if you start out by calling him 'Fuckface'"

"No good conversation was ever started by the words, 'Are you a congenital idiot, or did you get brain damaged in a accident'"

[salmonhorse]

4. "Do and be seen doing..."

http://www.davidbrandt.com/wisdom/index.php?number=130

Or another:

74 ~ Do not be unapproachable ~
The most wild beasts live in the most populous places. To be inaccessible is the fault of those who distrust themselves, whose honors change their manners. It is no way to earn people's goodwill by being ill-tempered with them. What a sight it is to see one of those unsociable monsters who make a point of being proudly impertinent. Their servants, who have the misfortune to be obliged to speak with them, enter as if prepared for a fight with a tiger: armed with patience and with fear. To obtain their high position these unapproachable people must have ingratiated themselves with everyone, but having arrived there they seek to compensate themselves by irritating all. It is a condition of their position that they should be accessible to all, yet from pride or spite they are so to none. A civil way to punish such people is to let them alone, depriving them of the chance of improvement by granting them no opportunity for intercourse.

But the best thing about "chronic pessimism is that" you're likely the one who will find the money or change in the street before the pie-eyed, pie-in-the-sky opitimist, ha!