This will be a tough Mothers Day. Ma died March 28.

[maveric]

My first Mothers Day without a mother.

Ma was the one whole held the family together when the shit hit the fan, which it did quite often growing up in the 60"s-&0's with three sons and a Bi-polar, alcoholic husband (Dad had his issues but was still a good man).

She was "Glue", the "Rock".

I feel a sense of guilt, for she lived alone on the east coast and I live in CA. She collapsed and died in her house. If I was there maybe things would be different.

I miss her greatly!

[commander bunnypants]

1. have a hug

:hug:

CB

[luvLLB]

2. hang in there.. it's been 4 years for me.

[maveric]

3. Does it get any better?

Sorry to be a bummer but its just now hitting me.

[barb162]

18. YES it will. The holidays will be bad for a time but IT WILL GET

BETTER. Trust me.

[luvLLB]

32. Yeah, it gets easier..it really does.

[NoSheep]

4. I'm glad you had such a good mom, maveric. I'm sure your friends

at DU will be around to chat if you get to feeling down. Holidays are always tough for one reason or another.:hug:

[maveric]

5. I'm starting to hate holidays. I'm either working or spending them alone.

My kids go with the ex on holidays.

[NoSheep]

22. I have learned to try to make most of them as uneventful as possible.

There's always so much expectation that goes into holidays and then they turn out to be, in reality, a big let down. Another thing that I try to do is change the way I traditionally spent holidays with my family. I sort of make a new version of the holiday that suits my needs. I don't participate in a traditional way, because sometimes, that just doesn't make sense. I like having Xmas eve dinner with friends without presents...just good food and company. You could spend mother's day perhaps doing a favorite hobby or visiting a museum. Something YOU like-not what is expected of you or traditional in a way that seems silly to you.
:)

[Lars39]

6. I'm sorry, maveric.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

7. So so so so sorry!

:hug: :cry:

[ewagner]

8. I understand your despair....

just know that life goes on and you have to keep going...

you have my sympathies....

[serryjw]

9. Mom died in 1973

It is not something you ever get over if you had that kinda relationship. Since I am not a mother it hurts even more...

Hugs to you

[Gelliebeans]

10. here is a hug

:hug: I am sure she wouldn't want you to feel any guilt for living far away.

[maveric]

13. She didnt. She knew tha I made a life & family out here and that I love

it here. There were too many bad influences back in the Boston area for me. Most of my old friends are dead, in jail or severly fucked up. I made the right decision. But the feelings of guilt are still there.

Plus my money-grabbing, asshole uncle has been dropping innuendo about the fact that my brother and I live out here and we left the poor sick old lady all alone.

[Gelliebeans]

21. I can empathize regarding the asshole uncle

too bad we can't pick our families? My best to you.

[all.of.me]

11. aw, sorry. i know

my dad died two days after my mother's 89th birthday and a few days before father's day. it was the strangest week of my life. and that first father's day - there was no one to call! it was very weird.

hang in there. don't feel guilty. when it's time to go, it's time to go. you could not have stopped it.

[maveric]

14. My Condolensces genevat.

[all.of.me]

36. thanks

and same to you.

[LibertyLover]

12. I hear you

My mom died 5 years ago in February, the 13th, right before Valentines Day. I never got to give her the card I got for her because our tradition was to give in on the day. The first Mother's Day without her was difficult. I don't know if you are religiously or spiritually inclined, but something I found that helped me was to sit down for a few minutes in a quiet space and think of her. Then I "told" her some of the things that had happened and what my husband and I were doing. Then I told her that I loved her and missed her but that I wanted the best for her. I try to do that a couple times a year. There are times I swear I can hear her voice laughing over a funny story, congratulating me or just telling me she loves me back. Mom was a FDR Democratic and didn't like the Bushes, so in a way I'm glad that she didn't live to see this president.

[maveric]

16. Ma & dad were JFK Dems. They knew him and campaigned door

to door for him in 1960. They told me that I met him and shook his hand, though I have no recollection of that(I was 4).

[Rowdyboy]

15. My mom died Labor Day, 1999.....I never really cried for her until

early May of the next year. My partner started to bitch about having to go home for Mother's Day and I just started sobbing. He realized why I was crying and it hit him too. We both cried for a long time. She lived with us for about 8 months just before her death, and visted frequently before that. We treated her like a queen and she loved to hold court in the kitchen directing (and CORRECTING) us while we cooked.

You'll be in my thoughts that day.

[barb162]

17. I am sorry. My mom is dead too and the first Mother's Day

without her was not a good one. What do you intend to do on SUnday

[maveric]

20. Work.

It will be a semi-distraction.

[barb162]

28. good idea :hug:

[hickman1937]

19. I'm so sorry. I know some of what you feel.

It's been 4 years, Feb. since I lost mine. I found her. It does get better, slowly. Nothing would have been different, if you'd have been there. I wish I hadn't been, and I'm glad I was. I know that makes no sense, but please believe that, when it's time, there's nothing you can do to hold it back.

[Debbi801]

23. I'm sorry, Maveric

:hug:

Debbi

[Danmel]

24. I sympathize

My mother died in February of 1999. That mother's day was so hard. My kids were only 8 and 4 when she died and she had not been well for quite awhile before that. That Mother's Day my Mother In Law was just awful. She was furious that I didn't want to go out and celebrate and was angry that I "Ruined HER day and Dishonored her"

I haven't gone out with them on Mother's Day since. They think I am a total bitch but I don't care. I spend it with my husband and kids.

Don't blame yourself- there is only so much you can do. Hugs to you this Mother's Day.

[maveric]

25. Thank You All! You made me feel a lot better.

I'll call my brother on Sunday. He's feeling much like I am.

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. My first w/out mine too *hugs*

[luvLLB]

33. hugs back at ya.

[LiberalEsto]

27. I'm so sorry.

You must be hurting.

It takes time to get over this great a loss. Give yourself the gift of time and patience with yourself.

My mom died in 1975, just a couple of weeks after Mother's Day. That was the last time I ever saw her alive.



:hug:

[KitSileya]

29. My condolences.

I hope that the good memories may make it a bit easier today.

[HeeBGBz]

30. I understand completely

My Mom died two weeks before Mother's Day four years ago. That first one was hell. It's still a sad day for me.

[bigwillq]

31. I'm sorry maveric!

:hug:


Remember the good times you shared. She seemed like a wonderful lady. Cherish the many mother's day you did get to spend together. Maybe make the holiday into some kind of tribute to her.


:hug:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

34. My deepest condolences

The whole first year is hardest. All the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries have to make one revolution before the ache starts to fade.

Best wishes to you. :hug:

[latebloomer]

35. I'm so sorry, maveric

She sounds like an amazing woman.

:hug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

37. It's tough...

My mother passed away just before Christmas, and I'm really dreading Mother's Day. She was 84 and in really poor health, but that doesn't make it easier. I miss her a lot, so I know how you feel. It's just sad...

[Zomby Woof]

38. Losing a mother is the worst thing I can think of

:hug: