Bush Elected Pope (For a laugh).....

[NamVetsWeeLass]

Bush Wins Papal Vote
>
> VATICAN CITY - In a turn of events that stunned Vatican officials,
> U.S.
> President George W. Bush has been named to succeed John Paul II as
> the next
> leader of the Catholic Church.
>
> For the first time in history, the College of Cardinals employed
> electronic voting machines to select the next Supreme Pontiff. Bush
> won by a
> margin of 2,528 votes, despite the fact that only 115 Cardinals took
> part in
> the process.
>
> The machines, which were last used in the 2004 Ohio presidential
> election, also registered -27 votes for Democratic candidate John
> Kerry.
>
> "It's a miracle!" cried KENNETH BLACKWELL, spokesperson for voting
> machine
> manufacturer Diebold Corporation. "God has spoken."
>
> Supporters of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, whom early exit polls had
> leading by a comfortable margin in the voting, demanded a recount.
> But Blackwell said the voting machines, which had been modified to
> emit a
> plume of white smoke when a plurality was reached, are unable to
> produce a
> paper audit trail, rendering a recount impossible.
>
> When informed of his victory, President Bush expressed surprise. "I
> was not
> aware I was running for the popecy," he said. "I wish people would
> tell me
> these things."
>
>
> However, he added that he would be "honored and privileged to serve
> as
> Supreme Pontoon for the rest of my natural life, or until I die,
> whichever
> comes first."
>