Hey Redstone....

[LynzM]

So after last night, we know it's not the Swedes, with their damned fish, is it? I mean, how could it be, since the ones in question weren't even what we thought they would be, but even if they had been, I'm pretty sure it's not them. Which leaves us with the ever-pressing, oft-debated question of exactly what the Russians had in mind, and how they would accomplish it, given that their knowledge is apparently broader than we may have thought.

I'm sorry about the disturbance regarding the slow release of information, but I wanted you to have a chance to form your own impressions before I polluted your recognition of the pattern with other information, you know? And now that I'm pretty sure you have a good idea of who the second dude is, in addition to being damn sure that you know who the girl is, the pattern should be quite clear.

And so all bets are now back on, and the circumstance is not as dire as you may have thought, and at this point all that remains is to discuss where the hell that damn shirt got to, and the implications of who may have the shirt at this point, and if it is being tailored to fit a different individual than the two who we had discussed, and the last point of all is of course who we're going to tell the tale to, since we didn't seem to decide that, or if we did, we will have to change that I'm sure, given the change in knowledge that you now may or may not possess, depending on exactly how clear the pattern has become for you.

But, if it's not the Swedes, with their damned little fish, might it be the Russians, with their copious amounts of vodka, and their ability to withstand awful cold and barrenness, and God-knows-what-else, after all? :evilgrin:

[Redstone]

1. Well, you can never really count the Swedes out

can you, they're generally blonde, aren't they, and they have other dirty tricks in their arsenal besides the fish if they find out that you don't eat sweet stuff, not that there's any double-entendre meant there, because there isn't, and I don't, though I have to point out that it's not entirely fair of you to sandbag me with this kind of conjecture when I've only had 2.5 hours of sleep in the last 48, check my math on that if you'd be so kind, subtracting a 5:30 rack time from an 8:00 departure down Monsoon Alley in a goddamn STATION WAGON no less, I can't even count on Missy not to desert me in my time of need, after everything I've done for her, the ungrateful strumpet, not that any of that is your fault. Of course.

I still can't figure the Russian involvement, though at least this time the commies weren't up there all over the walls, granted of course that this might mean they had just gone ahead and buried their agenda, as they are so noted for doing, as indeed perhaps they just MIGHT have buried the shirt, as you aver, or perhaps hidden it in plain sight, so to speak, even if the second dude (thanks so much for failing to mention him earlier, you're a real pal, aren't you?) had started to give himself away, because it wasking of chilly and he could have been wearing a jacket for just that nefarious purpose.

Or at least a hoodie.

And now you, you who were supposed to be my friend, not to mention boon companion, bring up not only tailoring, which I had never known was any kind of goddamn factor with the shirt, but also that it may be in the possession of some unindicted co-conspirator who is not, and in fact may never have been, one of the two original dudes. Might even be a chick, in actual fact.

Thank you for sharing that. Really.

But at least we know who the girl is, at long last.

We'll always have that.

And Paris.

Redstone

[Briarius]

2. Paris

how very Bogart... wait, aren't the French dirty commies?

[Redstone]

3. Ah, dirty commies they are

but at least they don't hang around up there on the walls, making it so hard to get anything past their beady-eyed observation, preferring as I undersand they do to gather at sidewalk cafes with a carpet of Gitane ciggy butts underfoot, and vile dregs of caffienated Pernod in the sissy-looking glasses on the tables in front of them.

I don't worry about the French; they can't keep tabs on what we're doing because it's really hard to focus your gaze accurately when you're looking down your nose.

They're not a factor here. Or are they? Do you know something I don't know, as everybody and his cousin seems to and they never tell me about until the damage has been done, usually to an asset I'd rather not do without but end up having to anyway, just because I generally don't understand what people are telling me the first time?

Would it kill you to repeat yourself, just once, when I cup my hand behind my ear and say "girl? what girl?"

Is that too much to ask? I guess it is.

Redstone

[Redstone]

7. And furthermore, Mister Goddamn Briarius,

if that's your REAL name, or should I call you Sven, or maybe Dmitri--you, YOU are theone who showed up without the hockey gloves and welder's mask, aren't you, so don't you dare try to come whining to me.

It's not like I didn't warn you. Maybe you'll think before you speak next time.

Though I doubt it.

Redstone

[Briarius]

11. I think you're confused

I don't recall you telling me to bring hockey gloves or said mask. Perhaps you're thinking of someone else. Or more disturbingly, perhaps you told the dude this, so as to throw us off.
Besides, who wears hockey gloves but those socialist Canadians, who are clearly almost communists anyways. I have my eye on you, seeing that you suspect the midwest too.

[Redstone]

20. YOU have your eye on ME?

Just because you didn't hear me, or I didn't tell you in the first place, that's supposed to be MY fault?

The mask was YOUR responsibility, socialized medicine north of the border notwithstanding.

Or are you, maybe, so enamored of the prospect of free endoscopy that you'll cut the Canadians more slack than they deserve?

Your eye on ME, my eye! You're theone who bears watching, and you know it now even if you, or I, didn't before.

We're not the ones to blame in all this, are we?

Redstone

[Zuni]

23. you were the one who left all of the bloody lake trout

sitting infront of the fan blowing right into the bloody bear cave! If any one deserves blame for the so-called "bear incident" and the associated indecencies involved, it is you, my good sir. The boat full of jolly, drunk SEAL CLUBBERS had absolutely no blame in the aforesaid fiasco, although they stopped clubbing baby harp seals long enough to rescue the DELICIOUS lake trout before that pack of alaskan brown bears could devour one nights supper. If I had to retreat to my sleeping-bag on that evening without a full stomach do to a lack of SUPPING due to careless BEAR ATTRACTING

[Redstone]

32. Sorry, but the baiting is the one and only thing

the Canadians get to get away with.

You're barking up the wrong tree with this one, unless you're one of those cat people, in which case you're meowing up the wrong scratching post.

One or the other. Take your pick, and live with the consequences, because you made the choice; nobody made it for you and don't try to tell me otherwise.

Redstone

[Zuni]

35. I shall have you know

I am neither. My only companions are the rare moths I suffocate and preserve in formaldehyde jam jars.

So I have no idea how that analogy would work, as moths emit no sound. Perhaps I flutter upon the wrong larvae.

[LynzM]

4. Certainly, you must have known that

You're right about them having other dirty tricks, which I hope they didn't inflict upon you, being as you were in a highly susceptible tired and alcohol-induced state, you never know what might have happened, especially given that Missy, the damn hussy, wasn't around to do her part in the whole thing. And you might have known that would happen, given what women like that have a reputation of, always being all about the look and never about the being there when you really need them, you know, a situation like that where it just might have been appreciated. Of course.

And as for the Russians, of course they weren't all over the walls, I'm sure they realize that we were aware of that last time, but there was that German who we discussed, and I'll have to read up some more on him, what with all his ramblings about drunken travelling, and us not knowing who he was, exactly, or really even what it was that he was travelling for, which in and of itself is highly suspicious. And his conspicuous posting of the things he wrote, which may or may not even have another meaning besides that which we were able to deduce, from the little bit that we were able to read, does indeed leave a lot to be explored. Drunken Germans, indeed. And in train stations, no less. And with regard to the second dude, of course he would have been wearing a jacket, to hide the shirt and of course to fit in, what with the weather being the kind of hideous that of course it would have to be, when people are in a mind to do crazy things like go wandering all over unknown cities at four in the morning, which of course someone like you would not be prone to doing, certainly, but that dude might have been, in which case he would certainly be needing a jacket, or at the very least a second shirt to wear over the first. Which brings up a whole other scenario which I've just now envisioned but I'd rather not bring up, with regard to second shirts, and tailoring, which I might have mentioned had I thought of it before the time that I wrote about it, which I hadn't. And I dislike your implication that I am always the one to be leaving out details, because in fact you are just as prone to doing that, given that I didn't know that you already knew how to handle that girl, where here I was thinking that I had to help you out.

Certainly, we need to find out more about that German, and what the Russians are up to, and if, in fact, there is a tailor, then it is of utmost importance to find out any details we can about him, or as you mentioned it could be 'her,' in fact, and to determine just what kind of role they are playing, if indeed any.

Paris, indeed.

[Redstone]

15. Don't you DARE call Missy a hussy,

when in fact she's nothing worse than a strumpet, which I have readily admitted, so let's not pile on here, would that be OK with you, or is there some kind of grudge at work here of which I am not yet aware, though I will be soon enough if it's the case, because this stuff doesn't escape my notice for more than a couple of weeks, max, so be advised.

Und jetzt sind es Deutschen, daruber zu sorgen? Gott im Himmel, gibt es keine Ende zu diese komische Passierungen? Ich kann es nicht stehen fur sehr viel langer.

And I'm not kidding about that. You know me well enough to know it's not a joke when I say something like that.

Furthermore, hold on just a second, wait up, now just a cotton-picking minute, wait one please, just a moment, there were POSTS that I missed. Will there be anything ELSE that just kind of flew past me, here I was thinking it was just a random skeeter or bumblebee, but it was actually vital information, not that either you or that Brer Riarius character would lift a finger to help, excuse me if it seems like I'm complaining here, but all of us should get to do that once in a while, if not more.

Four in what morning? What city? What, specifically, are your insinuating here? Just let me know, because whatever it is, is OK with me. Just fine, in fact.

I did deal with the girl damn well, you gotta give me that, especially unprepared as I may have seemed to be, though appearances can be deceiving because I've spent much more time awake than any of you, and don't forget that, because it might work to your advantage some day.

And if it does, you'll be glad I did. No need to thank me.

Redstoen

[LynzM]

18. Insinuating, indeed.

Well, if some of us had been clued into exactly what the difference between a strumpet and a hussy is, if someone else might have cared to share that there was, in fact, a difference, I might have been more choosy with my words. But as it goes, yes, it is OK with me, and I will in fact pay attention to just how long it takes before you pick up on these things, in the future.

Es gibt immer Deutschen, mit wem wir uns beschaeftigen mussen. Wie weisst du dass nicht? Es gibt wirklich keine Ende zu diese Diskussion, weil es immer mehr herauszufinden gibt. Aber wenn du es nicht mehr heute tun kannst, gibt's immer Morgan. Und wie weisst du, dass ich Deutsch spreche? Irgendetwas magische, oder?

I do know it's not a joke, and given the rack time, I'd imagine that things will have to be put on hold for a bit, but I think by this time, or perhaps a bit later, there will be enough others involved, although hopefully only in a way that does not, in fact, make things worse, that we can maintain the status quo, at the very least, if not make some headway, while you are not joking.

There were in fact, POSTS, that you missed, given that you were so busy berating those who did not need berating, but you couldn't let things go, could you, oh no, so you were berating and in the meantime missing all manner of pertinent information, that I think it is time for you to take a break, sir.

Four in the morning, next Monday, Chicago. You better know what I'm insinuating, because you know I'm not going to speak freely here in front of god-only-knows-whom.

[Redstone]

36. Yes, there's always tomorrow, isn't there?

I couldn't have said it better myself, though I probably will at some point or another.

Redstone agonistes; I must retire.

[Zuni]

19. I'll have you know

I saw 'Missy' at a very late hour (approx. 9 pm) at the home of a swarthy gentleman of perhaps spanish descent, doing things like watching television in a most ribald manner. The next morning, I spied her upon the croquet links, with short sleeves although the temperature was nearly 56 degrees! "Besleeve yourself" I cried, to no avail.

[Redstone]

22. Of course it was to no avail;

Missy thoroughly enjoys torturing the likes of you.

Are you really going to try to tell me you didn't know that?

Redstone

[Zuni]

26. Give this message to Miss Missy

She can bring about a Hellish nightmare of torture upon my bare breast but I will never let her have Selena's baby. When Selena died, I was there upon her bed-side, and she made me promise to look after her suckling babe, and if I could not do that I promised to have the aforesaid baby raised by Box Turtles on a small island known only to me, Selena and a few select dark skinned natives who carry my pack for me while I am there.

[Redstone]

30. Hey, you be careful when you talk about

my family. Or those who profess to be only for financial gain. Last warning.

Redstone

[Zuni]

31. who exactly are you, "Mr. Redstone" if that is your real name?

Are your relatives the natives, missy or the box turtles? How should I know not to insult if you do not specify the character of the insultee who has been insulted by my harsh pen? I know not what hurts you, sir.

[Redstone]

38. All of the above,

and several others who shall remain unnamed until the indictments are unsealed.

So stand by.

Redstone

[CubsFan1982]

5. WTF???

:wtf:

I'm thoroughly confused. Guess I had to be there. :D

[LynzM]

6. PM for you, sir

Given that I think you may, or at least most likely might, be one of the ones we could trust to help us out...

[Redstone]

8. Jesus Christ on a trolley car,

don't you know better than to get people from the Midwest involved in this?

If it spreads too far, we may not be able to contain it, and then what will we do?

Redstone

[LynzM]

9. Hey, we've already gotten them involved...

Or do you not remember where the esteemed Briarius is from, originally? Hrm.

Contain this? As if, sir. You think that a thing of this magnitude can be handled by only the two of us, as talented as we are? While I am flattered, I must remind you that I do, indeed, think this is too big to be truly 'contained', for what it's worth, not that that's much, coming from me, as it were, in my state of wine-mopping hysteria...

[CubsFan1982]

10. I'm thoroughly trustworthy.

After all, no one would recognize either of you, after all that plastic surgery.

Armand's back in Zurich searching for the Commies that are trying to infiltrate the circle. My sources tell me that he is attempting to eliminate their ringleader as we speak.

If anyone asks you about this information, tell them Golden Eagle #2 sent you. Not Golden Eagle #1 - saying that will get the Poles involved, and no one wants that - NO ONE.

[LynzM]

13. Oh, now you've done it

You can't be throwing names around, if you want to be allowed to be part of this whole thing, which I'm assuming you do, given that you replied, unless of course someone stole your name, which the way things are going, could certainly be possible.

Dealing with the ringleader is of course, important, but I don't know how we are supposed to help with that, unless the dude is somehow tied to the ringleader. Or perhaps it is the shirt that the ringleader needs, one never can truly know, unless of course that girl were to have told you, and if she did, you damn well better be sharing that information. Geez, to think I have to explain all of this.

And of course no one wants the Poles involved, they are the worst of the lot, think they are helping and just screw it all up, in their naive little way of just happening to be in the wrong place, and say the wrong thing, to the absolute worst possible person. Leave them out of it.

[CubsFan1982]

16. Who said that was his REAL name?

And at this point, I know more than you could imagine. There are forces at work beyond anyone's comprehension, and I assure you, it certainly has nothing to do with the Swedes.

The ringleader is the most important component in the plot. My contacts have documentation that he is behind EVERYTHING. And as for the girl, what I do behind closed doors is my business ONLY! There are certain things that a gentleman just does not divulge.

The Poles are the most insidious, after the Liechtensteiners. I'd throw a Liechtensteiner across a set of railroad tracks before I'd trust him with this information.

Never underestimate the demonic capability of the Dutch.

[Redstone]

27. Backtracking, are you?

It could be his real name. Sounds Swiss to me, as a matter of fact.

The Liechtensteiners are WAY too busy with their postage stamps to be a factor. Don't let them distract you, fun though it might be to throw one of them across a railroad track. Think I might do that for s bit of sport on my next day off, actually, thanks for the suggestion, not that I'll ever give you credit for it, but you never expected any credit or even any other consideration as a simple human being might, did you?

I thought not.

Redstone

[CubsFan1982]

33. His name, at this point, is irrelevant.

He's an operative we can reliably count on to foil the nefarious socialistic plans we must contend with.

And never discount the Liechtensteiners! Their cunning is second only to the Andorrans and the Luxembourgers. You think Missy will be safe in the hands of a Liechtensteiner? Think again, sir, think again! Do not let Missy be your Achilles' heel!

You don't know the Woodchuck and his ways.

[Redstone]

39. Let me worry about Missy, sonny. I know how

she needs to be dealt with. Not pretty sometimes, but that's the reality of the situation. Only I have sufficient Mojo, so you'd be much better off observing from the sidelines, if you value your continued health, and I suspect you do.

And you, being a Midwesterner, you'd just HAVE to draw the Dutch into this hideously tangled affair, wouldn't you?

More on them tomorrow. Stand by.

Redstone

[Zuni]

12. Wow. I have stumbled on a secret DU clique!

I just hope you guys don't have this hiding in your closets:

[LynzM]

14. PM for you as well, sir

[Zuni]

17. By jove I have got it!

This is all about the turkish guy with the pants who was eyeing the woman with the angora sweater and the pet anteater! Am I right?
If so, you can send me a PM, or a regular e-mail or perhaps you like that AOL live chat or perhaps a phone call (a fax at this hour would be downright bestial). At this hour I recommend calling my cell phone, as the house phone might wake my cat, who gets this weird look in her eye at this hour and starts meowing in strange foreign tounges. Either way, I will not sleep tonight until I know the answer to this utterly perplexing dilemma involving the Armenian gentleman who sat next to me at the DMV (or as it is known in Maryland, the MVA) and his relation to the odd smelling flower salesman you spied in Beantown. Coincidence, I think not.

[LynzM]

24. Oh, you think?

Now there are Turkish guys involved? And there are pants, and a sweater!?!?! Why did no one tell me about these things? I will certainly PM you or email you or AIM would work as well, I suppose, but you're right that it would be patently absurd to send a fax at this kind of hour. And if you have a cat that can speak in foreign tongues, by all means, bring her in to it, because we could use all the help we can get, seeing as now there are apparently Armenian(?!) gentlemen involved, about whom I had no idea whatsoever, and if they are in any way connected to the Russians, then that may solve a whole separate piece of this conundrum. One never knows. I would not put it past possiblity that they are tied to the flower salesman, who was also a Turk, if I recall correctly, but given that I didn't know that I should have been paying attention to that, I can't say for certain.

But I have just recently been informed that you may have sent entirely as a distraction from the dude, that you may, in fact, be known to the tailor (or perhaps you are the tailor), and therfore, any discussions of garments must be carried out with the utmost of care, in light of the suspicion, unless you can, of course, show some proof of not being the tailor, or knowing him. But until such time....

[Zuni]

28. I shall have you know

I most certainly am not the tailor, for I have never tailed in my life. I was born with a tailor already appointed by a wealthy dowager who wanted to make sure I always had form fitting under-pants.

The turkish man did seem to have an angora fetish, perhaps that is why he slyly glanced his eye upon the heaving bosoms of the aforementioned anteater woman.

How the Armenian gentle-man plays into this, yet I am not quite sure, but he did leave me a copy of a Harlequin Romance paperback purchased at a "Rite-Aid" drug-store nearby. Certain passages were underlined, with the underlying theme of 'swashbuckling swarthy pirates' and 'bosom heaving strumpets'.

I got the message and fired off a letter to you by candle-light immediately. Think what you will, but I am not the man who smoked fish with the swede, nor did I sup with ANY Turk.

[Droopy]

21. I'm having flashbacks

Could someone kindly send me a PM? I'm thinking that I could possibly be a mind controlled mole for the CIA and one of my multiple personalities is trying to get through to my unknowing ego.

[Redstone]

25. No, God damn it, it's not like that at all.

It's not the drugs.

Unless you count the fish as such, and they do have that effect sometimes.

Keep guessing.

Redstone

[Droopy]

29. It's not drugs

It's just that this is exactly the kind of thinking that I........ Oh, fuck it. It's a long story. I wrote many an e-mail that looked like these a few years back and I was for real. Not the quality of the writing, but the whole feel of it. You guys just brought back some memories.

[LynzM]

34. Hey...

Sorry if it weirded you out... :hug: Sounds like an interesting time for you...

[Droopy]

37. Thank you. That's alright.

I just used to be a fucking lunatic, that's all.