Party-ending music: What do you play to encourage your guests to leave?

[Modem Butterfly]

Poll question: Party-ending music: What do you play to encourage your guests to leave?

It's 3 AM. The party has gone on WAAAY too long. You have a handful of guests that show no inclination to leave. You don't want to be rude, but you want them to leave. What music do you play to encourage them to skedaddle?

[On the Road]

1. I Prefer Polka §

[UncleSepp]

41. I prefer to polka in goth clubs!

Never was so much fun had polka'ing as polka'ing through the dance floor of a goth club to Deutschmaschine! I wanna go to your party!

[On the Road]

49. I Hold My Parties at Blob's Park in Jessup ,Maryland

over tankards of beer and Jagerschnitzel.

EVERYBODY POLKA!

[Modem Butterfly]

2. I gotta go with Edmund Fitzgerald

It's slow, mellow, and depressing. Can't miss!

And the ship went down and they all drowned like rats
And their lungs filled up with water!

And their wives on the shore had no insurance
And their children turned to drugs and prostitution!

[deutsey]

4. LOL

Thanks for the laugh. Good parody lyrics...those are a parody, right? They seem too real to tell. :evilgrin:

[Modem Butterfly]

18. Yeah, they're a parody

But close enough, right?

[RubyDuby in GA]

3. I was gonna say Kenny Rogers

but then I saw the bit about Toby dying and I was hoping you meant that complete asshat Toby Keith. That's what I'd play to make the people leave because it would certainly get me going from somewhere.

[terrya]

5. "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro

Put "Honey" on repeat: your guests will be making tracks.

[In Truth We Trust]

16. see the tree, how big it's grown, but Honey I miss you and I'm being good

[fertilizeonarbusto]

6. "Metal Machine Music" by Lou Reed

or "The Pina Colada Song"

[ProfessorGAC]

13. LOL!

The first thing i thought of was Metal Machine Music. I still have one of the original version on Red Seal (Columbia's Classical label).

But, when you compared it to the Pina Colada Song, i was very glad on didn't have any coffee in my mouth. My computer screen would have been quite the mess.

The Professor

[Atlas Mugged]

15. Dammit! You beat me to it!!!!

It's available on cd now, too. I still have my old vinyl copy, however. 'MMM' - not 'The Pina Colada Song'. Don't own that - never will. That and anything by Terry Jacks (I refrained from mentioning the song title to avoid ear worms).

[Gemini Cat]

52. Metal Machine Music is a great way of

dealing with annoying college room mates as well.

[ret5hd]

7. on a previous thread on this subject (over a year ago)...

someone suggested anything by Diamanda Galas...after downloading and listening, i have to say that this would work to end ANY party with ANY guest list, east asian or not. Strangely though, i find myself listening to some of it when i am bored.

[Left Is Write]

8. Turn out the lights, the party's over...

[ContraBass Black]

51. But it's when the lights go out that the party really starts!

:evilgrin:

[Beware the Beast Man]

9. Something from Napalm Death's "Scum" LP.

Nothing like a little grindcore to clear the seats.

[chicagojoe]

10. Other. Electronica.

It repulses my friends EVERY time.

[asthmaticeog]

11. Royal Trux

[flvegan]

12. I just tell them that the bar has run dry. It's like a stampede!

[ProfessorGAC]

14. Free Jazz by Ornette Coleman

Ornette, me and 6 other people love that album! I mean in the whole world! That's it.

That thing will clear a room faster than tear gas.
The Professor

[progmom]

I'm one of those 6 people.

:hi:

[ProfessorGAC]

21. Glad To Have You In A VERY Exclusive Club

I hang out with some VERY skilled musicians, and even they can't get through it! I'm not allowed to listen to it when my wife is home! And she's got very broad and open taste in music. Glad i'm not alone in this, 'round here.

The Professor

[progmom]

22. i still have trouble with OM though

Does that make me less of a person?

[ProfessorGAC]

24. Maybe

I'll reserve judgment! For now! (Note to self: Progmom has trouble with OM. Hmmm!)
The Professor

[progmom]

37. i used to give it a listen once a year

Created a little ceremony for it...The Annual 'Are My Ears Ready Yet For Om' Listening Experience. And every time, it still sounded like they were killing goats. Haven't tried since I had the kid. Maybe I should try again...

[tigereye]

34. I am another one of the 6

and I can think of quite a few more!

:hi:

[In Truth We Trust]

17. The Barney song "Ilove you, you love me...." about three times in a row

should do it. Maybe at the copa by Barry manilow; His name was Rico her name was lola at the copa.........

[gollygee]

19. We Built This City

on Rock and Roll

Built this City
Built this City on Rock and Roll

:puke:

[Toby109]

20. Okay okay, I'll specify.

Just don't kill me. When I start singing anything the crowd quickly finds the nearest exit.

[DelawareValleyDem]

23. The entire "Tales from Topographic Oceans" CD

Usually they're gone midway through the second twenty-minute song. That, or they've fallen asleep.

[Joe Power]

25. OASIS!

:nuke: :hi:

[aeolian]

26. Holy shit, I'd steal your stereo and trash your appartment if you played

that crap!

(kidding) :)

[Joe Power]

27. Who could blame you?

(not kidding) ;)

[SOteric]

28. Something Operatic. Everyone knows

it's over "when the fat lady sings."

[LynneSin]

29. Is that Toby Keith you're referring to

:shrug:

BTW, I just turn the music off and put on my jammies - usually that's a major hint!

[MissMillie]

30. Not so subtle: Closing Time

I think the group is "Semi-sonic" but I could be wrong.

[ret5hd]

31. i dont know if its the same song or not...

but theres a song "closing time" by leonard cohen that could be used to the same effect.

[ghostsofgiants]

46. Yeah, it's Semisonc

Good song. Definitely would give the hint.

[BringEmOn]

32. Get the Funk Out

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

33. yoko ono's walking on thin ice

hey, i like it-but guests sure as hell don't

[tigereye]

36. that was a party staple

with some of my cronies... along with Ornette Coleman and Metal Machine Music. Although not all at once. I just had friends with stronger constitutions, I guess. ;)

[the Princess]

35. Hit The Road Jack

Doncha come back no more no more no more no more!!

[Redleg]

39. Dangit! You beat me by seconds.

[Redleg]

38. "Hit the Road, Jack"

Great song but the guests usually get the clue- especially when I start handing them their coats and guiding them to the door with gentle kicks to their posteriors.

[Lilith Velkor]

40. Sick of You by GWAR

[jackelope72]

42. Ethel Merman...

"YOU'LL BE SWELL, YOU'LL BE GREAT! GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD ON A PLATE!!"

Now, there is a lady who can clear a room!

[Mutley]

43. Just turn the music off. nt

[thecai]

44. "Party Up" By DMX

"Ya'll gonna make me act a fool, up in here! Up in here!"

[Bossy Monkey]

45. Bulgarian folk music or Sacred Harp. This of course is hypothetical as

I haven't held a party in eons. But I assure you that either of the above will always work.

[Huckebein the Raven]

47. A little Rammstein works

[6000eliot]

48. I killed a great party once by putting on Donovan's Greatest Hits.

I don't care. I still love that album!:P

[Mrs. Venation]

50. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?

That'll make 'em leave every time!

[TheMightyFavog]

53. The Tim Malloys Bugger Off

Well bugger off, you bastards bugger off! ("Fuck you!")
Bugger off, you bastards bugger off! ("Fuck you!")
Like a herd of bloody swine who refuse to leave the trough
You'll get no more this evening so you bastards bugger off

Well you've been a lovely audience, but oh the time does pass.
Now don't you all be lettin' the door hit you in the ass.
You've been a splendid audience, but enough is enough.
We'd take it very kindly if you'd all just bugger off!

Here's to all the barkeeps and waitresses who've been servin' you your beers,
They put up with your noxious breath and your stupid drunken leers.
So be leavin' all your money on the table when you go,
Tomorrow you'll have a throbbin' head and nothin' left to show

Here's to all the lovely ladies who might be waitin' for the band,
And thinkin' one of them might make a charmin' one night stand.
Please don't be offended girls this song is not meant for you.
We'll be happy to oblige you when this nasty job is through.

So now you been promisin' the ladies a night of lovin' bliss,
But truth be told your far to drunk to stand up straight and piss.
So give it up you bloody sods you'll not be gettin' laid.
And the sooner that you're out the door the sooner we'll be paid.

Chorus...

[last_texas_dem]

54. A few goodies

You can't miss with "Paralyzed" by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. I don't know how to describe this one effectively if you've never heard it (basically an out-of-tune screaming one man band) but if you've heard it you know what I mean.

Also, the flip side of "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" by Napoleon XIV (I think it's XIV) is that weird enough song played in reverse, which is decidedly even weirder!

And there's always the stuff from John Lennon and Yoko Ono's experimental period...

[Speck Tater]

55. Other: Turn off the music. Shut off the lights. Lock up the beer.

And if all else fails, run screaming into the living room swinging a baseball bat over your head.