Hey men! It's the Dorcus Collection of fashions!

[Bouncy Ball]

From our popular Husky Bastard collection, this stunning checked jacket is a must for the arrogant theater major on your list. Those checks aren’t just for show - they’re part of a metallic skeleton built right into the suit! When the jocks hold you down and beat the crap out of you, no doubt out of spite because they couldn’t ever HOPE to perform in Oklahoma! the way you did last month, well, your jacket will hold its shape. Available in many colors - mud, blood, and hot snotty tears of shame.

The pants contain Dorcus’ patented Sternum GrippR system, which keeps the waistband at the desired, fashionable height. By an ingenious system of nylon threads, space-age pulleys and a piton hammered into the breastbone, the wearer can always be sure his waistband is right where Dame Fashion decrees it should be.

http://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html

[Bouncy Ball]

1. ...

Yup: wish ah were dead. Dead, dead. Kill me now. Putcher Winchester upta ma temple, press the bar’l gently ‘gainst mah head, and jes squeeze. Go’won, do it.

There are no notations in the Dorcus archives for this photo; it simply appears. There were rumors in the mid60s that Raoul had designed a line of men’s house dresses, but that the line met with such resistance that all evidence was “lost,” the designs “misplaced,” the photos “mislaid” and the designers “shot with a .357 nickel-plated pistol, driven to a marsh in New Jersey and buried by the big tree stump across from the IHOP off exit 67.”

As for this photo, one can only speculate about the model’s thoughts.
Perhaps he’s just the happiest man in the world right now, because he has a cup of coffee in his hand and it’s got two ounces of Jim Beam swirling around that rich Folger’s goodness. Maybe he’s thinking about the money this gig will bring - sure, it’s humiliating, but who’s gonna see it? The boys down at the plant don’t read annya them fashion magazines. And if they do, well, I got a football in my hand. That ought to reassure them. Sure the hell reassures me; if that fella who’s shooting the pictures tries to take it away again, he’s going to find out what it feels like to get a pigskin suppository. Ah’m guessin’ the stitches don’t feel all that good goin’ in or goin’ out.

Luckily, Raoul abandoned his mid-60s plan to put men in dresses.

[Bouncy Ball]

2. ...

Only to bring them right back again, years later under the name of Dorcus He-Skirts. This rare shot from a press event confirms the details of an internal memoranda: “hire only men with large, hairy, developed legs, because in all probability they will be frequently chased by men wielding bats and clubs; models must be able to outrun their critics.”

The memos also detail the jingle for the ad campaign:

She Skirt - He-Skirt - They-Skirt - We-Skirt!
Wear a lotta Dorcus and the gang’ll all say Gee Skirt!
Men, you gotta bare it for a solid Dorcus Whee Spurt!
He-Skirt! He-Skirt! He-Skirt! He-Skirt!

The He-Skirt never made it to market, however, thanks to the intervention of an old family friend, Tony “Antonio” Bruschietta, who took Raoul aside and explained about the wishes of certain “investors” who would “break” his f--kin’ “legs” if he put their money in men’s dresses.

[Bouncy Ball]

3. ...

Don’t think we listen? Oh, we listen! We asked you, and you, and you: what’s the fresh new look for the season? And the answer always came back the same: you want to look like an aging French gigilo trying to blend into a harlequin convention.

Here our man Yves contemplates his next move. Dinner at the Ritz? The Opera? Servicing a married man who will throw the money at him afterwards and get angry? Je ne sais pas! Whatever the night demands, make sure your waistband is equidistant from crotch to nape. And keep a hand in your pocket where you keep the knife. The streets c’est froid, mon ami - but stylin’!

[Atlas Mugged]

10. I've actually SEEN this outfit on a golf course!!!

Trust me, I was only driving by. In a car. Not driving a driver. Oh....never mind.

[Bouncy Ball]

4. ...

From Swingin’ London comes the newest new thing - goiter wraps! Yes, that British diet is notorious low in essential nutrients, leading to unsightly neck growths from chronic iodine deficiencies. But trust Carnaby Street style to add a mod dimension. Whether or not you sport a painful expansive goiter, you’ll feel up-to-the-minute when you wrap this scratchy bolt of fabric from our Isadora Duncan line. Just the ticket for adding an unexpected element of drama and surprise to those scooter trips around town.

Warning: as the above photo suggests, large scarves are powerless to impress small-boned female train conductors.

[Lars39]

5. Nice threads!

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

6. LOL!

[NoSheep]

7. LOL!

[Bouncy Ball]

8. The descriptions are the best, I laughed until I cried.

Especially the aging French gigilo trying to blend in at a harlequin convention and the Goiter-Wrap.

[NoSheep]

9. I had given YOU credit for the descriptions! You blew it!!!

:D :rofl:

[Atlas Mugged]

11. The Isadora Duncan reference suprised me

I wonder how many people get that? It was a hell of a long time ago.