Hypothetical Political Fights!

[More Than A Feeling]

Pick your favorite one on one political battles! Who would win if Bobby Baker fought Karl Rove? Andrew Jackson versus Dwight Eisenhower? Think of some more!

(For the record, it would be Rove and Jackson. LBJ was his own best political strategist. Rove is the real president. Ike was the first choice of both parties, whereas Jackson was robbed of his first election, and was tough enough to tell the Supreme Court where to get off.)

[ltfranklin]

1. George Wallas Vs FDR

In a No-Holds-Barred Texas-Chainsaw Wheelchair Grudge Match!!!!

Let's Get Ready To Rumble!!!!!

[HawkerHurricane]

2. Jackson told the Supreme Court off, all right.

When the Supreme's said it's unconstitutional to steal land from the Cherokees, Jackson did it anyway.

Jackson wins against Ike because Jackson was a barbarian.

[More Than A Feeling]

21. I think that Jackson would be a Republican today.

I also think he should be off of the $20 bill for what he did.

[DerekG]

3. Get Huey Long in the ring!

The Kingfish would devour any rightist thrown his way. God, I long for the days when there were Democrats who were flamboyant, quasi-socialists.

[Robeson]

11. I like your style DerekG! Yes, he would....

...could you imagine a blueblood like Bush on stage talking about the Mercan people, then Long pulls off a shoe to show the hole in his sock, and asks the people, "does Bush have a hole in his sock like I do? Like the American people do?" Case closed.

[snowbear]

4. How about...

Janet Reno kicks the crap out of Karl Rove...

And they do it in a vat full of baked beans :headbang:

[sans qualia]

5. William Jennings Bryan vs. Noam Chomsky

My money's on Chomsky.

[MrScorpio]

7. Bingo

Chomsky would mop the floor with him

[Zuni]

8. Bryan grew up on a farm

he was probably a lot tougher than he sounded. Chomsky is a nerdy MIT professor.
My money is on WJB

[sans qualia]

12. Plus he has God on his side

[DerekG]

15. Wouldn't Chomsky like Bryan?

Bryan was a fierce critic of the Spanish American War and WWI (resigning from Wilson's cabinet in protest).

If the two were scheduled to speak the same night, however, I think Chomsky would be well advised to go first. That drone voice of his wouldn't play well if Bryan opted for another one of his "Cross of Gold" bits.

[sans qualia]

18. Yes

That's what would make it an interesting fight.

[Robeson]

20. My money would be on Bryan.....

...as hard as many Democrats tried to displace him, they couldn't. He was a master orator. He could rouse the people. Noam may appeal to the intellectual elite - and he appeals more to me - but the majority of people, aren't intellectuals, or elites.

[HawkerHurricane]

23. I wouldn't make that bet.

While Bryan was a fundie, he was also a populist... for the working people, unlike today's fundies who have sold out thier economic interests for symbolism.

[Robeson]

6. A weasel like Rove would not last 5 minutes with Jackson....

...Jackson would challenge him to a duel, and Rove would hide in the lower decks on the next ship out to Europe, so that Jackson couldn't shoot him. Politics were much different then. And if one instigated false stories, one may have to pay the ultimate price if one were called on it.

[ltfranklin]

9. Ann Coulter and

...J Edgar Hoover

Well, they're both cross-dressers, right? Fair fight!

[Zuni]

10. Aaron Burr v Mark hannah?

[Robeson]

13. How about Aaron Burr vs. Tom Delay......

...when Delay comes up with some unfounded slime against Burr or his family, Burr just shoots his ass....

[Zuni]

14. ROFLMAO

What about Senator Preston Brooks, who beat Senator Sumner brutally with a cane?
I'd love to see him and Tom Delay brutalize each other

[Robeson]

16. A fantasy come true. That would be better than sex....as long as....

...Delay came out on the short end of the...cane.

[Zuni]

17. Preston Brooks delivered the beating because Sumner was an abolitionist

so as far as I am concerned, Brooks and DeLay are brother reactionaries of a different era

[Robeson]

19. Yep, you could transpose the names.....

[tjwmason]

22. Churchill vs. Churchill

Early in his political career Winston Churchill was a Liberal, later he became a Conservative. To see the two fight it out against each other would be stunning.

It would have to be a proper set-piece style fight, where the magnificent oratory could really let rip.