Do you think I am being overly suspicious?

[Nikia]

My best male friend said that one of the reasons that I have a hard time developing friendships and getting to know people better lately is because I have become overly suspsicious. I am very suspicious about a would be male friend at work though. Duers tell me if I am being overly suspicious.
He started talking to me last year after he broke up with his girl friend. He has proclaimed his friendship and offered his help in dealing with my increased anxiety. He has promised to always be there. Over the course of our conversations, he has told me that I am very beautiful physically and spiritually.
I am married. This man knows that I am married. In fact one time, I made the mistake in confiding in him about something negative about my husband and he went into that happiness is most important and life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy.
I am not remotely attracted to him, know that he has enough issues that I wouldn't date him for that reason alone if I were single, amd have held back quite a bit emotionally because I have been suspicious of him. I have not been alone with him outside of work.
A few weeks ago, he began dating a woman who is married, but who plans to leave her husband. Ever since then, he stopped talking to me. Today, he talked to me after I decided that he was slime. I was real general and told him stuff that I had told other aquaintances even though I felt like telling him to stuff it. Am I being overly suspicious. Thinking about this scenario, this man was interested in me and hoped that he could get me to leave my husband. His only interst in me was this and he was never interested in being just friends. Is this being overly suspicious? I suppose that there could be some other explanation, but I don't think so. How should I proceed?
For the record, I do believe that men and women can just be friends and have male friends myself who are strictly platonic.

[KitchenWitch]

1. Sounds to me like you are spot on in your assessment of the situation

He appears to need to break up a relationship to feel validated.

[mcscajun]

2. No. You're not "overly suspicious".

These two sentences tell me everything I'd need to know about this guy:

"A few weeks ago, he began dating a woman who is married, but who plans to leave her husband. Ever since then, he stopped talking to me."

Hold that thought.

[loro mi dicevano]

8. Agreed. I don't think you're being overly suspicious, I think you're

absolutely right.

[flamingyouth]

13. Bingo

That's where I paused as well.

[LynzM]

3. I don't think you're being overly suspicious

I agree with the post above mine, that it probably makes him feel good to 'be worth leaving someone for'... but you'll maybe never know. I know I wouldn't pursue any further contact with him at all, were I in that situation.

[sparky_in_ma]

4. You hit the nail on the head

Men and women can be platonic friends, I have a lot of female friends, but in his case, that isn't what he was looking for.

[eaprez]

5. kick him to the curb and don't waste one more moment disecting him....

..he's slime. And NEVER discuss your marital issues like that. I'm sure he didn't want you to leave your husband - sounds like he was interested in finding where you were vulnerable and exploiting it to his advantage. He probably was interested in scoring.

[LoZoccolo]

6. Who cares about what this guy thinks?

If he wants to be your friend, he can act like it; if he doesn't want to be around you, he won't. Why make a fuss about it?

[Nikia]

7. I had decided that I didn't want to talk to him again

But after all this time, he did ask how I was doing.
Even if he were to try talking to me more though again, I don't think that I want to. I really can't think of any other explanation for his behavior other than he is slime.

[Nay]

9. You're not crazy. This guy is trolling for a girlfriend, and he

doesn't care if he breaks up marriages if he sees someone he is sexually attracted to.

He seems like the type of guy who has perfected the art of pretending to be a friend when all he really is thinking about is the possibility of sex.

Not a nice type of guy. Pretty boring and single-minded. You have him pegged perfectly.

[gardenista]

10. You had the "danger" signs last year.

"He has proclaimed his friendship and offered his help in dealing with my increased anxiety. He has promised to always be there. Over the course of our conversations, he has told me that I am very beautiful physically and spiritually."

Um. "always be there"? And the "beautiful" part?

Why did you even let it get to that point? Stay away from him.

It's a good thing he's found another object of his affections.

[Nikia]

14. I was sort of suspicious then

Which is probably why I never really developed true friendship feelings for him. Although the danger signs may have been obvious to you, I second guessed myself because my anxiety has caused me to have automatic negative thoughts about people which really do have no basis in reality and I thought that perhaps this was the case. I had many male friends when I was younger, some of which said similiar things to me, but stated that they had no intentions of dating me or wanting a physical relationship with me. I had always had difficulty knowing whether or not men (or boys then) were attracted to me. My husband and I have been together since we were 19 and I thought that such ignorance was no longer important. I am now realizing that perhaps knowing such things is relevent for me, but for a different reason than it was in my teens.

[gardenista]

15. Maybe it wasn't anxiety. Maybe your anxiety comes from not

following your insticts.

It doesn't matter what age you are. If a guy says to you that you are "beautiful inside and out", the dude want to sleep with you. If he says he "has no intentions of dating you", or whatever, that is just pure BS.

Yeah, I believe in platonic friendships, but you know, deep down in your heart, that wasn't what he wanted in the first place. Trust your instincts. Don't talk yourself out of what you know is true. Maybe that way you can play out that dynamic in a different way next time.

[Fleshdancer]

11. the biggest mistake people make is doubting their own intuition

I would be COMPLETELY suspicious of this man too. It sounds like dating married women is his sport and he eventually he moved on because you wouldn't play his stupid game.

Think of it this way, if a woman behaved this way to your husband, what would you think her motives were?

[WinterStorm]

12. Are you happy?

My two cents: He is wanting more than friendship. Is your marriage on the rocks? I would distant myself from him because he might cause problems.