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Baclava Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:22 PM
Original message
Beer Theories
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

-- H.L. Mencken


When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

-- George Bernard Shaw



Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-- Benjamin Franklin



Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

-- Professor Irwin Corey


One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

"This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

"That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. WOW! I have to save these!
Nobody's going to believe me, but they'll get a laugh while listening!
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. lol..
Emailed that to my mom, I know she'll get a kick out of it~
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
3. "I have to drive. I'm too drunk to walk"
My friend's dad always says that.





******Please do not drink and drive. Hand over the keys and get a designated driver.*********

This message sponsored by Heineken. It's all about the beer. :beer:
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boneygrey Donating Member (651 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
4. Check out my tag line n/t
:beer:
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Baclava Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. See?
I'm not just making this stuff up! :)
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boneygrey Donating Member (651 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I know
I've had that tag since I started on DU.
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boneygrey Donating Member (651 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-26-05 05:53 PM
Response to Original message
5. Here's a good one
Don't drink and drive, do all your drinking first, then go drive.-George Carlin :toast:
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