Why am I such a bad person when I'm really tired?

[Nikia]

Last night, I had a fight with my husband after staying up all night. I won't go into details, but I was really mean. This isn't the first time that has happened. I am really mean when I get tired to the point that I feel like a sociopath or something. Sometimes, I really think that I could do anything and not care. Does this mean that this is my true nature? Are most people like this? How can I get my husband to realize that he needs to leave me alone when I am tired if he wants me to act like a normal caring wife instead of the mean sociopath that I become? Is there counseling for this or do they just recommend getting enough sleep and avoiding stressful, confrontational situations when drowsy? In a way, I worry about this for if we have children too.

[Spinzonner]

1. Can you not just turn away from confrontation when you're tired ?

It takes two to argue.

[Nikia]

4. My husband seems to believe that we can't go to bed angry

Even though, in my case, that is the best thing that I could do. He follows me into the bedroom. He is unemployed right now and has an irregular sleep schedule. He doesn't seem to understand that people need sleep.
Maybe I should take him to counseling.

[Spinzonner]

5. When you're not tired and angry

tell him than you can't solve anything when you're tired and angry and that trying to just makes the situation harder and worse.

And try and discuss the 'sleep schedule' issue with him without getting accusatory or off the subject. He need to consider that just because he's unemployed doesn't mean he can't have a schedule and find things to occupy his time: housework, yard work (if you have a house and yard), and getting out an doing things such as volunteering. SOme of the latter might also lead to work or connections with people who could help in the search. (Of course, I don't know what kind of work he does, it may be rather specialized.)

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. Everyone is like that. Hungry, tired, sick, stressed any time we are not

feeling 100% we are more likely to snap at people or have a fight.

So, recognize that and walk away when the tensions start to escalate between you and hubby. (And anyway, it gets better as you get older. we've been married almost 12 years and we don't have nearly as many big fight nearly as often as when we were first married.)

*hugs*

[steve2470]

3. just make an ironclad agreement with him

that you two will not fight if you give him the signal that you are exhausted. Don't worry, if you were sociopathic, you wouldn't be on DU and you wouldn't feel guilty at all.