Who wants a ten year old?

[Bouncy Ball]

Me: You need to take a shower.

The Kid: WHAT?

Me: You need to take a shower.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you do.

Kid: That's not very nice.

Me: What's not very nice?

Kid: Saying I stink.

Me: I never said you stink, I said you need to take a shower.

Kid: Same thing.

Me: No it's not.

Kid: If I don't stink then, why do I need to take a shower?

(Long, dirty glare from me)

Me: Do you WANT me to say you stink?

Kid: No, that'd be mean.

Me: Girl. You can EITHER take a shower NOW or later. What's your decision?

Kid turns huffily and stomps off. Before getting into the bathroom, calls out, "Just for the RECORD, I'm NOT STINKY!"

[xmas74]

1. If you'll take my four year old.

[Bouncy Ball]

6. Emily Litella voice:

NEVERMIND!!!

LOL

[xmas74]

13. That's what I thought.

At least you can have some privacy.

[EFerrari]

2. Can it cook? : )

[Bouncy Ball]

3. Actually, yes.

She can make grilled cheese sandwiches, Hamburger Helper, mac and cheese (the boxed kind, not from scratch), spaghetti, pancakes, cakes, etc.

She also does her own laundry. Just a bit sensitive about being stinky. :eyes:

[EFerrari]

11. Maybe she should find a stinky job path -- away from home? n/t

[trof]

36. I'll take her!

Grilled cheese sounds real good right now.

[gizmo1979]

4. I'll take em my

little one is 17 and will be leaving for college and I'll miss having a child around!

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Not for long ya won't! LOL

[ewagner]

5. LOL....reminded of my favorite

conversation with my son when he was 9 or 10:

Me: I'm sorry I had to do that but I had to...you probably think I'm an ogre...

Son: No I don't. They're taller....

[Bouncy Ball]

7. ROFL!!!!

Laugh out loud, that was.

[EFerrari]

19. LOL!

[democracyindanger]

9. Are there any signs he may become a professional athlete?

[Bouncy Ball]

15. She. And no.

She is currently taking violin lessons. And it's early days, which means you'll need these:

[democracyindanger]

22. You should use those

right after the next time you tell her to take a shower.

[EFerrari]

28. Hey, my little bro got a bone thing and had to stop being a jock.

Mom got this genius idea. Get him an instrument.

:eyes:

Sax. We only understood what we'd done AFTER we heard that elephant in heat sound emanating from the house. Mom & I looked at each other for a long time.

He's now a prof musician, actually lives off of his earnings. And Bill Clinton borrowed his sax to go on Arsenio.

I forgive him :)

[name not needed]

10. Will she do my evil bidding?

Nothing heavy. Just the usual kicking, punching, sometimes biting, throwing stuff and occasionally helping duct tape someone to a wall?

[Bouncy Ball]

18. That would thrill her to no end.

Especially if the victims are republicans.

[name not needed]

23. One of them is

I dented a wall with his head once :)

[City Lights]

12. Thanks for the offer, but I've already got one.

;-)

[7th_Sephiroth]

14. i'll take her

she should be good for hard labor

[Goldmund]

21. LMAO

[7th_Sephiroth]

27. that'll teach her stinky

cleaning up from hurricane ivan

[okieinpain]

16. I've got a 16 year like that. car stopped on him yesterday.

no oil in the thing, and it's the car's fault. good luck.

[Bouncy Ball]

25. Doesn't it drive ya crazy?

She's become highly sensitive lately.

[okieinpain]

30. oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean. man oh, man he's the

last one, and I will be soooooo happy when he turn's 18.

[blondeatlast]

17. Are you SURE you wanna trade for an 8 year old boy?

Think carefully, BB, think carefully now...

[Bouncy Ball]

20. NEVERMIND!!!

LOL (But she is about as bath phobic as a boy.)

[KG]

24. oh, the joys of child rearing

reading this kinda stuff reaffirms my happiness with being childless.

[Bouncy Ball]

29. And just think:

I have what would be considered a VERY easy kid. Gets herself up in the morning, gets herself ready, can cook, does her own laundry, vacuums, gets good grades, reads a lot, generally well-behaved and pretty mature.

But there are still moments. And she's nearing adolescence.... :scared:

[luvLLB]

26. from my 10 year old....why would anyone WANT to take a bath?

you should only bath when you HAVE to.

[Bouncy Ball]

32. Well, I was trying not to hurt her feelings, but

she had been out riding her bike a lot.

She NEEDED a bath. Whew! Kids get very fragrant running around outside.

[methinks2]

31. you weren't direct enough

just say "you stink" or "you smell like an armpit"
Or , my favorite, "you smell like ass"

[Bouncy Ball]

33. LOL

I'm going to assume you are kidding and say LOL.

I'd never say those things for real.

[methinks2]

37. Really, I do

okay maybe for the last one I just found a cute sticker in the mall that said it for me. Try HOT TOPIC for the stickers.
But, you really do need to be direct to cut through the hormone haze surrounding the kid.

[EFerrari]

34. Maybe get a printed record. "Official Stinky" ? lol

I miss those stinky kids, two boys.

Ah, the smells of memory.

[Bouncy Ball]

35. They smell like wet dogs when they come in from playing outdoors.

All red faced, sweaty, and yes, stinky.

She knew exactly what I meant. LOL. And there I was trying to be nice about it.

For the record, the water ran for exactly TWO minutes. We're about to have another discussion, I can tell.

[EFerrari]

44. (pSSSSSSSSSST: train her nose. get her a hamster!) n/t

[trof]

38. Would you take an almost 3 year old boy in trade?

I would classify him as "All airspeed and no rudder".

I think you and my daughter could strike a deal.

[Bouncy Ball]

39. Why are people offering me YOUNGER kids in trade??

LOL, I'm looking for a kid who is about six weeks from their eighteenth birthday, a senior and college bound.

Anyone?

A three year old boy, are you CRAZY?

LOL.

[cally]

41. Sure I'll trade....17 year old, close to college

and like another poster said. Think very carefully. Boys, college angst, wanting to leave and just travel with no money. Yeah, I can handle the baths. Just wait, this is the easy part.

[trof]

45. yeahbut...he's cuter'n hell and he knows ALL about poop.

Reddish blonde hair and BIG blue eyes.
Irish (on his dad's side) to the BONE.
Right now he's fascinated with poop.
Where it comes from, where it goes, who has it.

Did you know EVERYONE has poop in their butt?
Jack told me so.
He's got this poop thing all figured out.
Mommy and daddy have poop.
The cat has poop.
Squirrels have poop.
Bugs have poop.
Even Ba-Ba (that would be me) has poop.

If you want to know ANYTHING about poop, you need Jack.

[Bouncy Ball]

51. He sounds VERY cute, indeed

But I think I know all I need to about poop, LOL!

That was written like a VERY proud grandfather.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

40. I'll take her...

Like I've said before I'm the threat for all my friends' kids if they act up. "Do you want to go live with Auntie Mel?"
And they straighten up in a jiff. hehehe
Actually, I'm nice as hell. I just turn into a bitch when they act up. I worked at a detention center for too long.
Duckie

[RedCloud]

42. In exchange for an 18 year old!

She can almost drive in a straight line (especially around curves).

Has stopped saying,"When I'm 13 (then 14) (then 15) (then 16) (then 17) you won't be able to tell me what to do."

Is very pleasant and sweet to all new people. Hopes they won't figure her out or she can keep right on pretending to be sweet...

Expects a lot. Offers little. Waiting for some billionaire to bust down the door and sweep her away.

[B Calm]

43. Ha Ha Ha. I'll bet your 10 yr old is the first in the swimming pool..

[Left Is Write]

46. Your ten-year-old? Hell, yeah! I'll take her!

[Left Is Write]

47. By the way, that story cracked me right up.

You don't even want to KNOW the conversation I had with my almost 18-year-old an hour or so ago. Talk about self-centered and obsessive.

[Bouncy Ball]

48. Actually I saw it.

And I chuckled. That'll be mine in a few years, just wait.

[AlCzervik]

49. Is my daughter at your house?

thats the same rap i get every other day.....you need a shower, you have sweaty head and you need your hair washed.....No i don't, i'm clean and i hate showers and baths!!!

[Bouncy Ball]

50. Last night she said "Can I just wash my hair?"

I said "why?" she said "I just don't want to get my body wet."

???? When I asked her why is that, she never answered me.

She's been bath phobic since she was about six or seven. I remember my brother being this way, but I never was.

My mom used to ask to smell my brother's arm when he got done with a bath so she'd know he bathed. So he'd go in there, soap up his forearms, rinse them off, then present one to our mom. She finally caught on when she sniffed his hair and nearly gagged.

[AlCzervik]

52. thats what i do, the....lemme smell your head.

I think it's the age, my daughter is like...."Shut the door Mom!!!!"

[Bouncy Ball]

53. Mine has also gotten very

"SHUT THE DOOR"-ish lately.

I know being bath phobic isn't the worst thing in a kid, but her moods are all over the MAP lately.

Sigh.

[AlCzervik]

56. it's hormones i swear, at 10 they're getting close to that age....you know

at least thats what i blame it on.

[fluffernutter]

54. god forbid you tell them what to do

:eyes: sounds familiar, BB!

[Lone_Star_Dem]

55. Mine used to be that way.

She out grew of it when she grew into boys. I look back on that now as the 'good old days'. :)

I'll trade you a 17 year old for your 10 year old. I miss dealing with all of that stuff. :cry:

[SOteric]

57. I realise I'm not a parent, but...

can't you just duct tape her to the wall and hose her down?

:shrug:

[JimmyJazz]

58. SOteric - that is some damn fine parenting advice you have offered.

I think I'll try it the next time one of my kids acts up! :silly:

[SOteric]

59. I know, I know, - Dr. Phil can step aside.

:7

[AlCzervik]

60. i may just install the rubber hose room in my house.

[SOteric]

63. Now, just to be clear you guys...

I have suggested to a mom whose daughter is reluctant to shower that she duct-tape the little stinkbomb to the wall and take the hose to her. Squirts of bodywash are optional.

At no point did I recommend rubber hoses and the notorius torment known as lashing and beating with same.

That's probably in the more advanced parenting classes.

[Spacemom]

61. Your daughter and my son

He's 9 and also of the "aromatically" challenged sort. That same conversation could have taken place at our house. :D

[MrSandman]

62. For an 8 and 11 y.o....nt