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JACKO TRIAL FLASH: Man on trial NOT the real Michael Jackson!

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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 11:06 AM
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JACKO TRIAL FLASH: Man on trial NOT the real Michael Jackson!
Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse of Real Michael Jackson

SANTA BARBARA, CA—During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.

"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who—or what—has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."

According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.

"We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake."
<snip>
More at The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4111
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DrGonzoLives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 11:12 AM
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1. Actually
since Michael Jackson is a zombie...
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Atlas Mugged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 11:24 AM
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2. One of The Onion's more brilliant bits
This makes much more sense than reality.
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jmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 11:43 AM
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3. Well he doesn't have any of his original parts...
so I guess this ain't too far from the truth.
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 11:54 AM
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4. Has anyone seen the trial reenactments on E! ?
I was channel surfing the other night, and my hand to God, on E! they were doing a trial reenactment with some guy made up to look like MJ. I'm thinking E! has scraped the bottom of the barrel, now.
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Hand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-16-05 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Daily Show had an excerpt from that last week...
You KNOW it had to really vile because Jon Stewart's commentary was almost serious... well, until he collapsed in helpless mirth.

:hi:
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