I saw a scary bumper sticker today. Truly scary.

[Bouncy Ball]

JESUS IS COMING! ARE YOU PREPARED?

My first thought was, "Oh my GOD, my house is a MESS."

Then I thought "It would be pretty cool, though. I mean he could turn some water into wine and we could get our drank on. I mean, Jesus could PAR. TAY."

Plus he'd go around pointing out all the poor and throwing the money changers out of the mega-churches.

Then he'd probably give bush a good verbal smack down and bring his dad on down here to rough him up a bit.

And Jesus' dad is WAY bigger than bushie's dad.

So then I wasn't so scared anymore. From the looks of all the bush stickers on the guy's truck I saw this on, I realized HE probably had more reason to be afraid than I did.

(Hide the porn! Look busy!)

[GOPFighter]

1. Jesus is coming????!

It's about time!

[Bouncy Ball]

6. Yeah, apparently.

But I'm confused.

Will I be going to heaven? I mean, I am a Christian, though some rightwingers (ok all of them) would say I'm not the "right" kind (meaning I don't want to eradicate homosexuals from the earth, eat the babies of the poor, kill all brown-skinned people and sell my soul to corporations).

So do I go? Or do they?

Either way sounds pretty good to me. If I go, I'll be in heaven, which I heard is a pretty rockin' joint.

If I don't, I'll be left with all the cool, non-puckered up people who can think for themselves.

So whatever!

[Wapsie B]

2. Hide the Bong!

[Worst Username Ever]

3. I bet he is pissed.

[NightTrain]

4. JESUS IS COMING! LOOK BUSY.

I love that one!

[DBoon]

5. Jesus is Coming!

Quick, look busy!

[LynneSin]

7. Thank goodness I'm housecleaning today

:D

[jonnyblitz]

8. the bumper sticker i saw that gave me the creeps was:

"TRUTH NOT TOLERANCE" with a big ass cross and american flag.

[Bouncy Ball]

9. One of the funniest things I ever read on DU:

"Ever seen two born-again fundies arguing with each other? Hilarious! They are telling each other things that are contradictory, but they BOTH think that God told them what they are saying. So one of them tries to convince the other that a demon must have told them that. And the other one tries to convince the OTHER that a demon must have told THEM that. Which one was told by God? Which one was told by a demon? Couldn't be both by God? Maybe both by a demon?"

:crazy:

I can't remember what DUer said all that, but I was about to pee in my pants just imagining it. If I saw that in real life, I cannot honestly say I could resist the urge to butt in just to mess them up more with some other options:

"How do you know it isn't MARY telling you those things? Maybe Catholics are right on, you never know! Or maybe God is testing YOU! Or YOU! Which one of you is He testing? Maybe HE sent the demon!"

Oh my. :crazy:

[Deja Q]

10. So when should I whip out my umbrella?

:wow:

[Bouncy Ball]

11. You know. I had to think about that.

!!!!!!!!!

I keep wondering if he still eats only kosher food. You know, like maybe I should have some nibblies out in case he drops by?

[Dave Reynolds]

12. I didn't even know he was breathing hard.

[redqueen]

13. Woman, you are teh r0x0r.

:7