Top five items on my "To Do" list

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1) Go to the nudist beach with a tape measure.

2) Go to a stranger's wedding, and when the bride comes down the aisle, stand up and yell "Yeah, I had her!"

3) Drive my car into the lead float of the city's annual parade. And when the cops get me, claim that the float cut me off.

4) Go to my neighborhood's annual bonfire. But instead of kindling, toss an old tire on the bonfire.

5) Participate in "Wear a Kilt to Work" day.



What's on your list?