I got into a fight (physical) with another woman about two years ago.

[Bouncy Ball]

Can you believe that?

I'm in my 30s and there I was fighting with a woman in a bar. I didn't get into fights as a kid (my brother excluded).

I went there with two single friends, they sort of dragged me. I wanted to watch DVDs, they wanted to "snag some men." Oh how fun.

Anywho, we go to this very chi chi bar in Las Colinas and it's filled with couples practically having sex on the dance floor.

I saw it as an interesting sociological study. I do love people watching, so I entertained myself that way.

Oh the fight. Yeah. So then these women came in. One of them had black hair almost down to her ass and was wearing this suede torquoise getup. It had big fringes all over it and those silver beads on the top part. She was wearing light brown suede scrunched boots with it. I hadn't really thought much about what she was wearing except that I couldn't decide if it was horrific or a brilliant fashion risk, though I was leaning to horrific.

That's when she turned around, leaned in to me and yelled "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT BITCH??"

Well I wasn't really staring. I hadn't looked at her any longer than anyone else. So that pissed me off, and I yelled "I DON'T KNOW POCAHONTAS, I GUESS I'M WONDERING WHERE JOHN SMITH IS!"

She GRABBED my hair by the roots and pulled me off the chair, so I kinda half turned around and elbowed her in the gut hard. (She had been meanwhile trying to get at my face and managed to scratch me wiht her Lee Press-On Nails pretty good). I must have caught her off balance because she fell back on her ass. She tried to get back up and come at me, but her friends stopped her. Then we all got kicked out.

It was fun standing on the sidewalk in the freezing cold waiting for the valet while she and her group of friends yelled from a few feet away "C**TS! BITCHES! WE JUST GOT HERE!"

I said sorry to my friends. They didn't get to snag any men at that bar. They love me, though. But they did take me home and went back out. They met some nice guys somewhere else.

Edited to censor out the word "cunts."

[libnnc]

1. okay...that Pocahontas comment was freaking funny as hell

bwwaaaahhh :evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

5. I'm bad.

I hang my head in shame. I had to tell that here as a form of confession.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. It isn't often that I really do guffaw out loud at my computer but

"I DON'T KNOW POCAHONTAS, I GUESS I'M WONDERING WHERE JOHN SMITH IS!"
..just made me do it.....

you baaaaaad

oh..and you are SOO SOO Texas!

[Bouncy Ball]

3. Well thank ya ma'am

(I don't think she got the John Smith part, btw, just the Pocahontas part. BOY she was pissed off.)

[BiggJawn]

4. "A very chi-chi bar"?

What, they had Corintian leather on the mechanical bull?

Couldn't be very classy if they let someone in who bought her ensemble at Cher's yard sale...:D

[Bouncy Ball]

8. I didn't understand it, either, to tell you the truth.

Honestly I was confused by this place. For anyone familiar it's the Cool River Cafe and Bar in Las Colinas. It really is rather chi chi though not as posh as you can possibly be.

There was a guy with a jean jacket on that had the Tasmanian Devil (from the cartoons) on the back. That one really made me cock my head and think "EH?"

Then you had people who were wearing $1K worth of clothing and way more than that in jewelry.

I dunno. Maybe Los Colinas is a weird place.

[BiggJawn]

11. A jean jacket with Taz on the back?

Oh, boy...Do you suppose that was his nick-name? Pocahantas probably had her eye on him and you spoiled her hunt...

Now I remember what I hated most about my pub-crawling days....The people! :-)

[Bouncy Ball]

29. They were seriously scary

especially the woman who had had a BIT too much to drink and was dancing a BIT too enthusiastically and caused her boob to pop out of her dress (only one). She didn't notice and no one told her.

[sendero]

48. Maybe?

No hon, there ain't no maybe about it. :)

Pocahontas LOL :)

[tcfrogs]

6. Bouncy, you just are way too confrontational

but I love the stories!

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Hey SHE confronted me.

I was just having fun trying to figure out what year she had just time-warped there from.

[tcfrogs]

12. I should have put the sarcasm button on there

Great story, BTW. Would have been fun to be around you when I was living in DFW area.

[RevolutionaryActs]

7. "I don't know Pocahontas, I guess I'm wondering where John Smith is"

Classic, fucking classic!

:yourock:

[LDS Jock]

10. you funny ball

I'm afraid this might be locked/deleted because of the "c" word though. I've seen many others.

Love the Pocahontas remark.

[Bouncy Ball]

15. Uh, oh, I'll edit!!

[LDS Jock]

16. good.. I don't want such a great post lost

[Bouncy Ball]

22. There, I did it and thanks!!!

[sandnsea]

45. The edit is the funniest part

"Edited to censor out the word "cunts"." That cracks me up. You're a riot.

[Ellen Forradalom]

13. I got into a fistfight with a hooker in a Budapest disco in 1986

I went to the Halászbásztya disco with my roommate, her boyfriend, a U.S. Marine embassy guard, and his jarhead friends. It was crowded and we had to lightly push our way through throngs of people to get in. At one point I was standing with my friends when this screaming bitch appears out of nowhere and starts wailing on me. The U.S. Marines pull her off me and we eventually figure out what her goddamn problem is. Turns out I jostled one of her colleagues on the way in and she siced 'Benatar' on me. Benatar' was the Marines' nickname for her. As you can imagine they were on a first-name basis with all the working girls there.

[Bouncy Ball]

20. Benatar? LOL! As in "Pat?"

ROFL

[Ellen Forradalom]

23. Yep, the Marines/customers

thought that was who she looked like.

[kodi]

14. if you got any vides of that fight i can sell them on the net for you

even just pix.

lets talk, we can make some $.

:evilgrin:

[Bouncy Ball]

18. Nope, no pictures.

[steve2470]

17. sorry you got hurt, but that Pocahontas comment was really funny nt

:party:

[Bouncy Ball]

19. No worries, the bouncer pushed me harder than she did! LOL!

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

21. OMFG! I just blew chocolate milk out my nose!!

Just when the story couldn't get better... "Edited to censor out the word "c..."

You are my hero!

[jdots]

27. Chocolate milk...I just lost my boiling coffee.

Bouncy you are a true hero.
Its the snooty bars where the real goobers go

[Bouncy Ball]

28. You just made me laugh using the words

"snooty" and "goobers" in the same sentence! LMAO!

(Thank you, you guys stop making me blush...)

[DS1]

65. seconded!

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. LOL! You're even more brilliant than I thought!

Not only coming up with calling her Pocahontas - but then adding the John Smith reference!

OMG - I'm swooning!!

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Oh stop it.

I saw the Disney movie a few years back.

Doesn't he look like this?



On edit, but if you're swooning, that is PERFECTLY ok with me.

;-)

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

25. BB, that story is absolutely priceless.

I'll be giggling for at least the next two days.

:yourock:

[orleans]

30. bouncy ball--did you make that up?

are you sure you're not a stand-up just trying out some new material on us?

(if you are, i say keep it--the POCAHONTAS bit is a great punch line!)

[Bouncy Ball]

32. No, it's really true.

Much to my slight shame. I'm really NOT a smart ass fashion critic in real life. I think I was in a bad mood that night. It just came out.

And then her hand just came out and ripped some hair off my head.

[CanuckAmok]

31. You RULE!

And the explanation of your edit? C'est formidable!

[Bouncy Ball]

33. What?

O8)

I don't speak French, that's only for freedom haters.

[CanuckAmok]

34. U tok storee gud.

by.

[Bouncy Ball]

35. Sorry, I don't speak Canadian, either.

:shrug:

[mogster]

36. That's a triple-bouncer

:bounce::bounce::bounce:

You got some spirit, I'll say! :-)

[YankeyMCC]

37. It always impresses me...

when someone can come up with a retort like "I DON'T KNOW POCAHONTAS, I GUESS I'M WONDERING WHERE JOHN SMITH IS!" off the top of their heads in a situation like that.

I'm one of those people who wake up the next morning saying "Damn! I should've said..."

[Bouncy Ball]

59. Well I have to admit, I'm normally the person

who wakes up and thinks "DAMN, I shoulda said that!" but I had JUST been thinking she reminded me of Pocahontas when she turned around and called me a bitch, so.....

[fasttense]

38. Thanks for sharing. That was great.

Those sort of things have happened to me all my life. You know sitting around enjoying the scenery, then some wacko comes along and wants to get in your face. I don't get it. But I know where you are coming from. All you can do is laugh and shake your head.

I loved your response, "I DON'T KNOW POCAHONTAS, I GUESS I'M WONDERING WHERE JOHN SMITH IS"

I think people like that are expecting you to quietly roll up in a ball and whimper. I'm barely 5'4", maybe they think we are easy targets?

[blondeatlast]

39. "Pocahontas." Classic; wish I could think on my feet like that.

Thanks for a great laugh!

[Misunderestimator]

40. I like your style!!

Yikes about the press-on nails... those are like pick-axes!

[BlueEyedSon]

41. LMFAO!!

[RoeBear]

42. Sounds like you're heading for a Downward Spiral...

...like this chick:

[Bouncy Ball]

60. Oh MY!!! LOL!!!

I don't think so! That's pretty sad, though.

No, I've never even been arrested in my life and I'm almost 35. If I do end up like her, I probably need to start shooting up with heroin or something!

[derby378]

43. Bouncy Ball, we love you!

ginbarn just said "Yeee-HAW! Texas girl if I ever saw one!"

Can you make it to the DU gathering in Addison on Sunday? Blue Mesa at 6:30pm.

[MadisonProgressive]

44. Thank you for editing out 'c***ts'

you never know if there are young kids surfing this site!

(God you're killing me, BB! :loveya:)

Edited to censor out the word "cunts."

[Misunderestimator]

47. You might want to edit it out yourself...

just sayin' :)

[MadisonProgressive]

49. Thanks - I took care of it

[Misunderestimator]

50. LMAO.... um... ok

[BlueEyedSon]

53. Thanks for saving my tender virgin eyes! nt

[DawgHouse]

46. Didn't Loretta Lynn write a song about this?

You're pretty quick witted!

[Bouncy Ball]

61. I hope she did, she's one of my favorites.

I keep telling my husband I'm going to put a shrine to Loretta Lynn in the living room. I've seen "Coal Miner's Daughter" about 700 times.

[ucmike]

51. that's why i rarely go to places like that

i don't know why people dress up in attention grabbing clothes then get upset when people look at them. don't advertise if your not selling.

i was at a bar with some friends and a total meat head came in with his girlfriend. she was a tall, cheesy looking skank with boobs a-poppin' and her pants so low you could see the top of her pubes. the guy spent all night trying to start a fight because people were looking at her. no shit, what'd you think would happen when your girl is dressed like a plastic whore in a crowded bar.

[Bouncy Ball]

63. Good point!

I'm assuming her outfit was designed to get attention. I guess she just didn't like a female looking at her. I wasn't admiring her body, though, I just felt like I was looking at a train wreck...

[Patiod]

52. One of the blessings of being 5'11" (6'2" in heels)

More than once I've been in a crowded bar in Philadelphia or Wildwood, and accidently jostled one of the trashier locals.

It was fun to see them turn around all ready to "start something", and watch as, no matter how drunk they are, the realization dawns on them that they're not going to win. Sometimes they even had their mouths open to say something - they'd turn around, look up, the jaws would snap shut, and they'd keep moving.

The one good thing about women is that we TOTALLY lack the hormone or gene or whatever it is that makes little fellas want to fight big ones when they get drunk. Chicks can be trashy, stupid, slack-jawed idiots, but alcohol rarely hurts their sense of self-preservation, barfight-wise.

Ah, good times.

[GalleryGod]

55. Like Finnigan's Wake after Wing Bowl, Maybe?

My writing pal, Gargano, always wanted me to go there-at least when he had to do the show from there!:puke:

[GalleryGod]

56. You didn't Play the "4" for Cardinal O'Hara Did You?

Tall woman in a real short skirt.........:smoke:

Who can also..."go to her left and 'Post up' when need be!":bounce:

[Patiod]

72. Naw, but I kissed one or two O'Hara boys in my PSU days

Would have gone to Bishop McDevitt if I had attended the local Catholic HS.

My SO, who went to Devon Prep (bussed in from the city), claims I wasn't really raised Catholic b/c I went to public school. I guess 11+ years of CCD doesn't count.

That Buffett number you quoted was always sort of a favorite, though - "..a real smart woman in a real short skirt"

[Lex]

54. Bouncy . . . you are the BEST!

I wouldn't have gone back out that night, if I was your friend--I would've stayed around and recounted the whole fight several times, blow by blow!

Nothing like the post-fight analysis among friends.

[Bouncy Ball]

64. It's a story they still love to tell, believe me.

I'm never going to hear the end of it. A few of them even call ME Pocahontas now. :eyes:

[Schema Thing]

57. A bartender I talked kept trying to get me to go to Cool River

to hear her sing w/ her band. Somehow I just knew it wasn't my kinda place. Thanks for confirming that.

Your story is hilarious. "pocahontas", lol, you may be too quick for your own good!

[Bouncy Ball]

67. I really don't normally come up with stuff like that.

Just a twist of fate. Cool River is a meat market. Yeah, I know they all are to some extent, but this one might as well have a bidding area where people go to get auctioned off to other people, it was that bad.

The smell of desperation, Wild Turkey and a slight trace of vomit hung in the air....

[Dookus]

58. Woah, that was you?

I was wearing my best Cher drag, you bitch!

[Bouncy Ball]

62. Your wig was MAHVELOUS

as were your big ol' fake boobs. Very realistic, I might add.

[AngryAmish]

66. CATFIGHT!

[Bouncy Ball]

68. Ah, I had forgotten that.

As we were being pushed out by employees of the place I noticed a LOT of guys were very interested in the proceedings.

[AngryAmish]

69. We are kinda sick that way

[skygazer]

70. Great story

I've come close a few times but mostly fights have been avoided. However, one day I got into it (with one of my best friends) and it actually was pretty comical. I don't even recall what it was about but I was simply steaming when she drove up to the house.

I walked outside and up to her car (she was driving and had a girlfriend in the passenger seat). She rolled down her window and asked if a mutual friend was around and I said, "Get out of the car."

She said, "No because if I do you'll hit me."

I said, "Okay," reached back and punched her full in the face through the open window. Opened the door and dragged her out and proceeded to pulverize her face, pausing briefly to get the keys out of the ignition and throw them over my shoulder into the tall grass of the adjacent field (so she couldn't escape until I was done with her).

At some point, I became aware of the friend who was tentatively tapping me on the shoulder while the other girl howled on the ground and I methodically pounded on her. She (the friend) was saying, "Um, Sky, um, could you please stop? Um..." I elbowed her, knocking her over and went back to work on the other. Friend wandered off and began combing through the grass for the keys.

Eventually, the girl I was pounding managed to get up and run away down the road. I went back in the house and back to whatever I'd been doing. I didn't see her for a month or two but when I next did, we were all cool.

This was about 8 years ago - we're still friends and we laugh about it to this day. And yes, I was about 36 or so when it happened. Just a bad day.... :shrug:

[Bouncy Ball]

74. WHOA! I hope I never run into you on a bad day!

[HEyHEY]

71. I smashed a beer bottle over some guy's face once during a barfight

No I didn't!


Anyway, I hate to know there's people like that out there you know? I mean you can't even go to a bar without some ass deciding they need to fight you.

Really sad.

[Bouncy Ball]

73. Well I'll never know

whether, if I had just said "nothing," she wouldn't have decided to try to snatch me bald-headed and claw my eyes out.

[tigereye]

75. what a great story BB

hysterical!