Aw shit! I'm going to be rich! :-)

[BikeWriter]

FROM MRS LUCY JOHNSON'S RESIDENCE.

HELLO DEAR FRIEND,

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO ADHERE STRICTLY TO THE
INSTRUCTIONS.
I am the above named person from RUSSIA. I am
married
to Dr.SERGEI JOHNSON(JNR)
who worked with the Kuwait embassy in Crotia for
nine
years before he died in the year 2003.We were
married
for eleven years without a child. He died after a
> brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before
> his death we were both converted to born again
> Christians.Since his death I decided not to re-marry
> or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the
> Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he
deposited the sum of 18Million Dollars
(Eighteen Million United State Dollars) with one
finance/security company in Amsterderm Holland.
Presently, this money is still with the Security
Company.Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not
last for the next three months due to cancer
problem.
Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this
fund to a church or better still a christian
individual that will utilize this money the way I am
gong to instruct here in. I want a church that will
use this funds to fund churches, orphanages and
widows
propagating the word of God and to ensure that the
house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to
understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I
took this decision because I don't have any child
that
will inherit this money and my husband relatives are
not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard
earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't
> want a situation where this money will be used in an
> ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this
> bold
> decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know
> where
> I am going. I know that I am going to be in the
bosom
of the Lord. Exodus
14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I
shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone
communication
in this regard because of my health condition and
also
because of the presence of my husband's relatives
around me always. I don't want them to know about
this
development.With God all things are possible. As
soon
as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact
of the Finance/Security Company in EUROPE.> I will also issue you a
letter
of authority that
will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this
funds. I want you and the church to always pray for
me
because the lord is my Strenth. My happiness is that
I
lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that
wants
to serve
the Lord must serve him in spirit and in truth.
Please
always
be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in
your
reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or
christian individual for this same purpose. Please
assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated
herein. Hoping to hearing from you. NB-PLEASE I WILL
ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN
LONDON IMMEDIATELY, HE HANDLES ALL MY LEGAL MATTERS
AND DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY
UNDERSTANDING AND TRUSTWORTHY AND I BELIEVE HE WILL
LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS.REMEMBER ALL DONATIONS MUST
BE MADE ANONIMOUSLY.PLEASE ON NO ACCOUNT WILL I WANT
MY NAME MENTIONED.
YOU CAN ALSO SEND ME MAIL ON
THANK YOU.
Remian blessed in the name of the Lord. Yours in
Christ,
Mrs.Lucy Johnson.

[Syrinx]

1. Sergei was a great guy, congratulations

The entire Johnson family of Russia are great folks! :)

[BikeWriter]

4. Thank you, thank you! I ran right out and gave the first needy person...

...I saw the deed to my house! I'm so grateful to the Johnsons! :)

[are_we_united_yet]

25. I have to say

that was just brilliant satire!

[BikeWriter]

35. Satire? Whatever do you mean, my friend? :-)

[immoderate]

2. $18 million bucks!! What are you going to do with all that lucre?

--IMM

[BikeWriter]

5. Well, I haven't gotten it yet, but I already gave away what I have...

...I figure I can afford to be generous now! :)

[tavalon]

3. I'm assuming this is one of "those" letters, right?

but I'm not clearly parsing out what the strategy is. She didn't ask for your account number as far as I could tell.

[BikeWriter]

6. Well, I messaged her back. I'm sure I can trust her. She's a Christian.

:)

[tavalon]

64. LOL

Yeah, right. If she's Christ, you can likely trust her. Otherwise.....

[BikeWriter]

66. You don't think Christians would lie, do you?

:(

[tavalon]

67. Some do, some don't n/t

[BikeWriter]

68. That's terrible! I'm sure Lucy Johnson wouldn't lie.

[NYC]

8. Yet.

She didn't ask for his account number yet. Apparently, that would have been too obvious.

SoCalDem provided this link one night:

http://www.scamorama.com/bigmac.html

[BikeWriter]

27. I'm sure she'll be wanting that next. Just to be sure I'm honest...

...don't you see?

[NYC]

37. Yes, I see, but she's a good Christian,

you're a good Christian, it will all work out, just the way Christ wanted.

Enjoy your newfound wealth, and don't neglect to send a few dollars my heathen way.

Thanking you in advance. :hi:

[BikeWriter]

38. Well, uh, I'm actually not a Christian, but let's not tell her that until.

...she sends me my money! :)

[NYC]

50. Same here.

Just share the wealth! :hi:

Isn't it wonderful to inherit millions from strangers? What would we do without the internet?

[BikeWriter]

54. I know what I'd do I'd still be poor! Thank goodness for nice rich folks..

...who want to share the wealth with poor people! :)

[NYC]

63. Don't worry.

When you run out of that $18 million, you'll receive another email from a kind stranger.

See how easy life is?

[BikeWriter]

69. Yes, you know, I don't feel much different.now that I'm rich.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

7. BEWARE! DO NOT RESPOND!

That email is from an international group of feral cats
who are trying to get your SS & CC #'s!!!!!

[BikeWriter]

10. Say what? She said she's a Johnson!

She's a fine Christian lady, too!

[fujiyama]

19. Probably more like...

HAS a Johnson...

:P

[BikeWriter]

28. ROFLMFBO! :-)

[Swamp Rat]

16. self-delete

:D

[are_we_united_yet]

9. And to think...

they picked you! How lucky you are. Don't forget us now ya hear?

;)

[BikeWriter]

14. Thank you. I'll be sure to remember the little people, uh...

...I mean my old friends at DU!

[are_we_united_yet]

23. *SNARF* Leona would be proud!

:)

[BikeWriter]

31. Well, uh, I will remember my humble roots! :-)

[Ediacara]

11. Wow

Her writing style has clearly been affected by her "stroke sickness." A Russian, named, Johnson, working in the Kuwaiti embassy in Zagreb? Gimme a break..... she could have at least tried to make it sound legit, LOL!

[BikeWriter]

15. Say what? It has to be legit. I gave my house and car away!

[Swamp Rat]

20. HA!

Ok, I thought you were a sucker... I am the sucker for believing that you believed it. :D

[BikeWriter]

26. Why sure I believe it! Why shouldn't I? :-)

[Swamp Rat]

29. Well then, I have a 1945 Knucklehead and a few pre-AMF Panheads to sell

for 5 Pesos each. :D

[BikeWriter]

32. Hey, way cool! I'll buy them as soon as she sends my money! :-)

[Liberal In Texas]

17. ROLF!

[pnorman]

12. I've received ~250 of that type of letter in the past two years.

They're known as "The Spanish Prisoner Swindle", and have been around since Elizabethan times. Almost all originated in Nigeria with near identical scripts, although I got several from the Philipines. One, purportedly from Zimbabwe, was a blatant appeal to the racist mindset.

But that was the most HEARTWARMING and "spiritual" one I've seen so far (sniff!).

pnorman

[BikeWriter]

18. It was heartwarming to me, too!

:)

[Jamastiene]

55. Huh?

Who would believe it? Heartwarming? I don't think so. Sounds like someone missed the point when it comes to "spiritual". Spiritual would be to find to poorest of people regardless of their religion and buying them food, clothes, shelter, etc. Maybe I missed the point.

[RebelOne]

77. I receive at least 5 a day in different variations.

And it's sad that some people are suckered in and lose a lot of money.

[Liberal In Texas]

13. DAMN! My Nigerian friends seem to have migrated to Russia! eom

[BikeWriter]

22. Oh, you know them, too?

[Liberal In Texas]

34. Oh yes. I have a file.

They are so funny.

EVERYONE check this out...

http://www.joshmadison.com/

Click on: humor: spam response.

Sorry I couldn't exactly copy the link.

His answer had me in stitches. He actually sent it back to them.

[BikeWriter]

36. Well, I sent this back, too, Lucy's going to make me rich!

:)

[Liberal In Texas]

43. Good for you.

My wife finds these things so annoying.

I find them funny.

That's why I collect them.

The syntax and absurd stories are a new URBAN LEGEND kind of thing.

Always look on the fun side.

:-))

[BikeWriter]

51. I enjoy them, too. I thought we would have some fun kicking this one...

...around. :)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

21. Don't worry

I have already gotten that letter and am all over their "situation". I don't know how I found the time since I'm so busy helping out people in Africa (three just last month!) but I managed.

[BikeWriter]

24. Well, I know no lady named Lucy Johnson would lie to me!

It may heven be LBJ's daughter! :)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

30. I have it from her mouth that she's a cousin.

She told me so when I asked about it. Opps, I wasn't supposed to tell. Don't spread it around, OK? She also sent me a really pretty picture of herself.

She's on the up and up. Poor dear... It's amazing how many people are having hard times all around the world. I do what I can to help.

[BikeWriter]

33. *Sniff!* That's so very kind of you! Bless you!

[Nicole]

39. Can I be your new best friend?

I can be there tomorrow!

[BikeWriter]

40. That sounds very nice, Nicole, but I will probably be busy...

...doing whatever rich people do. Uh, do you know what rich people do?

[Nicole]

41. Sure I know!

They hang out with me. :)

[BikeWriter]

44. All of them? Golly, that must be fun, fun, fun! Maybe I could hang out...

...with you too, then? :)

[Nicole]

45. of course you could

Just don't expect the others to be around. They like to keep a low profile. For some reason people want to be their best friend & stuff.

[BikeWriter]

47. I wonder why? Well, you're the first one to offer to be my Friend, Nicole.

...Do you mind if I call you Nicole?

[Nicole]

48. You can call me Nicole

We're best friends now.

[BikeWriter]

52. I used to have a best friend...

...but she left. :(
Thank you for being my best friend, Nicole.

[Nicole]

57. what a coincidence

My former best friend left me too. :(

That is why I am going for friends based on loot rather than love this time around.

[BikeWriter]

58. Uh oh, that may be why my last best friend left.

I'm sorry to hear your last best friend left you, too. :(

[McKenzie]

42. another one here...snigger

go to the main page for more.

http://www.419eater.com/html/tope.htm

[BikeWriter]

46. Well, that looked like a filthy scam, but this is Mrs Lucy Johnson...

...writing to me! ;)

[RebelOne]

49. This is the reply I usually send when I receive

of those letters.

http://www.personaldetails.freeserve.co.uk

[BikeWriter]

53. There you go. I like it, Rebel. Except Mrs. Lucy Johnson is going to...

...take care of me! :)

[ikri]

56. Got to love 419 scams

I'm sure I read a couple of years ago that if only 1 in 10 of these were genuine then there would be something like $3 trillion in hidden bank accounts throughout Nigeria.

Sometimes its worth replying to them, if only to scare the crap out of them (can't claim credit for this, but its funny as hell)

[BikeWriter]

59. LOL! I wish I had the money to trace them down and, uh, play with them. :)

[RebelOne]

60. You can play with them.

Go to http://www.419eater.com and see what these guys do to the 419 scammers.

[BikeWriter]

61. I'd rather hunt them down and play with them. That would be fun.

:)

[RebelOne]

62. No, it wouldn't be fun.

These scammers are very dangerous criminals. They have killed and kidnapped people who have gone to Nigeria thinking they will be collecting some big money.

[BikeWriter]

65. So I've heard, but some of my best friends are...

...very dangerous criminals, too. :)

[da_chimperor]

70. Here's a good site if you want to fuck with their heads

http://www.419eater.com/

Check it out, it's worth it just to see transcripts of other people messing around with the scammers. Some people have actually gotten the scammers to send money to THEM. Check out some of the photos as well.

[RebelOne]

71. That's one of my favorite sites.

I don't bait, but I try to warn would-be victims.

[realisticphish]

72. it's nice to see 419's with an international flavor

makes me feel that we are progressing towards true diversity

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[BikeWriter]

75. ROFL! :-)

[B Calm]

73. I presume you don't have AVG anti virus protection. It would have

never allowed this e-mail to get to you...

[BikeWriter]

74. Yes, I do have it. I didn't know it would catch spam.

[B Calm]

76. Maybe not, but thank god you didn't reply to the e-mail..

[BikeWriter]

78. I never respond to crap like that.

[RebelOne]

79. I do. Here's my response.

http://www.personaldetails.freeserve.co.uk

Also this one:

[BikeWriter]

80. LOL! That's a cool card! :-)

[RebelOne]

81. Feel free to send it when you receive the next

bleeding heart letter from a scammer.

[RebelOne]

82. And here's a couple of letters I send.

Believe it or not, I have gotten responses to the Conchita letter. They are still trying to pull a scam.

Dear Sir,

Thank you very much for writing to me. I am Conchita and I am so poor that I have no last name, as my father could not afford one for me. We live on a small island in the South Pacific and are the only family that has lived here for the past one hundred years.

Unfortunately, we have eaten almost everything on the island except for the dirt and two skinny dogs that are too old to scratch fleas. Fortunately, we ate all the fleas so there are none left for the dogs to worry about.

I am so pleased that you have offered to send us all that money. We have not seen money for the last three generations as we have no place to spend it and no means of getting to a place where we could spend it if we wanted to. I can assure you that we will take excellent care of your funds and invest them wisely. Our plan for the money is as follows:

1. We want to build a deep-water port in Williwilli, our little lagoon here on the island.

2. We then want to bring in a barge with an electrical generator so that we can have electricity on the island once again. We haven't had electricity in over two hundred years because the last generator broke down and we have no parts to repair it.

3. We want to build a school here so the children can learn to read and write. It is really hard to create email messages with no electricity and no knowledge of reading or writing skills.

4. We then want to install a phone company so we can communicate with the outside world and meet more wonderful people like you and your blessed family.

5. We then want to build a satellite cable system so we can watch television and see all the latest fights in the world. We don't have those here and miss them very much. We think that we could probably hook up a computer to the cable or telephone lines so we could send email messages to our newfound friends when we get them.

6. We want to build a grocery store so we have a place to buy things like bubble gum and candy, something we have never had here.

7. We will then need to build a road from our cave to the grocery store so we can get there. Of course, we will need a car to drive on the road or there will be no point in having a road, will there?

8. If we get a car we will need gas and oil but maybe we could just take some from the electrical generator and save that money for a beauty salon, something we really need here. Have you seen the women around here? They are just awful looking.

9. Of course, we will have to build a church so we have a place to go and be thankful for the gifts you have offered us.

Once all these things have been completed, if there is any money left we would like to use it to build a house to live in. The hole we use for an outhouse is rapidly filling up since we began receiving your letters of appeal and we will need to move soon as the cave will be unbearable to live in during hot weather. Air conditioning in our new house would be nice too.

It is too bad that I am only eight years old. If I were older I could come and visit you if you sent me an airplane ticket and an airplane with pontoons on it so it could land in the lagoon. One of my grandchildren would like to come and visit you also, if you don't mind.

I shall patiently await the arrival of the next bottle with your message telling us when the money will be here. Thank you again, for your kind generosity; it is sincerely appreciated.

Conchita


Dear Sir,

I send salutations from my country, the sovereign nation of Antarctica.

Now that I have carefully read your email, I cannot express to you the sheer scale of my incredulity.

I instantly considered your intentions to be criminal.

This is indeed a miracle. You actually chose little old me out of all the hundreds of millions of the world's other suckers.

However, I must respectfully decline your very kind offer, as I am already deliriously rich, due to my being an Internet tycoon.

I visited your beautiful country recently. I'm probably mistaken, but I am sure I saw your name on a wanted poster.

Anyway, I was so excited, I went out and purchased four oil refineries.

So you see, kind lady, I have very little use for the millions that you are asking me to look after. There is simply no more room left in my already overstuffed Swiss bank accounts.

Now, I have just had a wonderful thought. Perhaps I could be of more assistance to YOUR fellow scammers and crooks.

Listen: Why not simply provide me with all YOUR details (including bank account numbers, PIN numbers, etc.) and I will deposit heaps of lovely money into your account? There is no need for references, as I trust you implicitly. After all, you obviously have faith and trust in me.

Yours ever sincerely
Dr B.S. Hit