Crybaby Tommy Thompson Dons Dress

[Merrick]

Lame Duck Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson, who wept openly while pledging his undying devotion to George Bush after the President effectively removed him from his cabinet by denying his bid for the then vacant Secretary of Homeland Security position, is, quite appropriately, dressing in women’s clothes for his final days in office.

Remarked Thompson: “Not only am I not stupid or incompetent enough to not get pushed out of Bush’s cabinet, but I couldn’t even keep from crying like a little a baby when I did. Now I can only hope that by dressing like the sissy girl I act like I might restore a few shreds of my shattered credibility.”

Thompson has stated that he will wear a new dress to work everyday until his replacement is appointed, at which point he will go home to suck his thumb in the fetal position under his bed while plotting his next act of malicious revenge on the world and its people he despises so greatly.