Just how lazy do you have to be to buy one of these (adult)

[ornotna]

Get 'em while they're hot folks!
http://daimaoh.kir.jp/ho/menssom.htm

[German-Lefty]

1. Talk about lazy. Some people won't do anything for themselves.

[Uroboros]

2. The last few photos...

..showing the hand holding the severed penis has me worried though. A little too much pump action there.

:)

[RobertSeattle]

3. Wow - that's the same device Peggy Noonan uses to write her columns!

(About Bush)

[LastDemInIdaho]

4. Why is it so small?

They must have a 220V model too.

[BiggJawn]

5. Great thing for long-winded guys....

For those times when you get a HUGE cramp in your bicep because your little buddy just ain't getting the message...

:7

I wonder why it is that most mechanical devices designed to get you off come from Japan? Do they have worse luck getting dates than WE do?

[sexybomber]

6. I dunno about that

(the luck of Japanese guys...)

I know six or seven Japanese dudes (they all go to Cornell), and they all have better luck than I do...

[qb]

7. Seriously, this looks like a great device for someone who's disabled.

We all deserve to get our rocks off once in a while!

[Dead_Parrot]

8. Just for clarification...

Ahh, the joys of http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/tr
Enjoy...

---------------------
Fully automatic hand ???. While looking at the ??? book with the both hands, discharge! The machine of dream of the men who are present finally. Enlargement picture
---
MEN'S SOM started doing finally. Fully automatic hand ???. It is the real group which moves with power source for home. (Accessory) AC adapter lotion
---
??? Not using, the hand the this ??? book being heavy to the ??? cod it is good, the one hand difficult, fast forward of to read ??? smoothly Please leave to ???
---
It is the controller section. The tip of the controller vibrates. (ON/OFF strength adjustment possibility) As for analog Ra one in the rear end, so as for the one which is not while hand ??? you being done, it redoubles pleasant sensation with adding the vibration to the turtle head. The hand ??? section switch can adjust the speed of hand ???.
---
That the penis also will be long, probably will have gotten fat, that it probably will have lost weight, you can adjust height with the coconut.
---
It is the amplitude section. Here moves up and down.
---
You can remove the hand freely. The hole of the soft rubber has belonged on secret plan side. First, after installing the hole when the son is made to cause ??? when you install the hand in the substance, program was good, is.
---
The rubber is hard fairly well the ‚???. If here is good, saying it was not. But, to supply the penis, it extends sufficiently.
---
The penis being thick, the hand outside spreads.
---
When the AC adapter is inserted.
---
For safety if load increases, the machine stops. The fact that the lotion is applied fully is secret of smooth hand ???. One for when the lotion drying, the water is necessary. The room where especially air conditioning is effective being to be easy to dry, in order to make the lotion revive which dries please prepares the water even in the glass. When (it dries, the water is dropped a little) Being to be able to adjust height, wanting making the turtle head main when and, the pole and the kalium, please try adjusting freely with the height which you like. In addition, while hand ƒRƒL to be done, when you move the waist a little even by your, there being an unexpected characteristic, feeling it is good, is.
---
If the hole is not good, it is exchange! Sailor 7 was installed experimentally. Furthermore, if the part of this hand is held down, whether elastic cord braid kana it is, the gap where the hole appears in foreward is held down, the world of new ??? spreads. I recommend the magic tape. When (at a time 1cm it cuts the magic tape where the both sides tape has been attached, sticks on the both ends of the hand, furthermore it can adhere to the place where it sticks with the magic tape of 10cm, the hole foreward (ventral side) held down the phenomenon which is pushed out and the ‚??? increased. )
---
Because it is large amount, if at the beginning, the commodity is not good, without selling, that it probably will leave, 1 unit obtaining, the test rice ‚??? you saw. Setting and customization are certainly difficult, but being with the commodity which it comes out properly, to be good and to be, it finished to step on in sale. Thin of the meat mono you call the hole which is used in customization it is feeling.

---------------------
Well, I'm convinced. Think I'll get two.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. My more professional translation

begins with:

Piston-operated vibration

Completely automatic jerk-off machine

You can come while holding an erotic book with both hands.

The men's dream machine is finally available

Enlarged view

Normally 39,800 yen ($358.56 at current rates)

Special price: 35,800 yen

Put in shopping basket
-----------
MEN'SSOM is finally here!

Completely automatic jerk-off machine

This is the full-featured version that runs on household current.

Accessories:
AC adapter
Lotion

Manufacturer's pamphlet
----
Oh, I wish I could come without using my hands...

These erotic books are so heavy that it's hard to read them with just one hand.

A smooth send-off for erotic films.

Leave it to MEN'SSOM
-------

This is too funny! I could go on, but I have some paying translation work to do.

I've translated product Web sites before, but never anything like this.

[ForrestGump]

14. Turtle head? Coconut? Sailor 7?

I've got some Japanese-made items that have instruction manuals that make about as much sense as that translation. Japan produces some great stuff - I'm not sure that this qualifies, though it'd be handy (no pun intended) for someone who has no arms - but it's always seemed weird to me that even large corporations sometimes let English instruction manuals through that have apparently been vetted by one of the (few?) Japanese executives who's not fluent in English.

We should all chip in and send one to Dubya for Christmas. It's likely, especially at that time of year (party! party!) that he wouldn't be able to find his reproductive unit with his own hands.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

16. You're more correct than you know

"but it's always seemed weird to me that even large corporations sometimes let English instruction manuals through that have apparently been vetted by one of the (few?) Japanese executives who's not fluent in English."

That's exactly what happens! I'll translate something into English, and then it will have to be approved by some mucky-muck who took English in high school thirty years ago. If there's something in there that HE doesn't understand, he changes it to something translated literally into high school English, using his old pocket dictionary.

In some cases I've seen the results of these "corrections." For example, a children's theater troup was going to tour India, and they wanted their program translated into English. One of the tales they were going to act out was called "The Gourd Maiden." Well, the artistic director didn't like that translation, so she changed it to "The Girl Who Was Boarned from a Squash." I'm not making this up.

It used to infuriate me when this happened, but now I figure that if they pay for a native speaker of English to translate their stuff and then they "correct" it to something ridiculous, that's their problem, not mine, because fortunately, most commercial translations do NOT have the translator's name on them.

[ornotna]

17. So tell me.....

Who sets the machine up for this person without arms? :silly:

[bif]

9. Great cocktail shaker!

No pun intended. Okay, it was intended.

[MissMillie]

10. Maybe it's meant for a quadraplegic (sp?) (n/t)

.

[moez]

11. Wait A Minute!!!!

You mean I don't have to put down my bag of Cheeto's and the remote anymore!!??? Where do I sign up?

[Spider Jerusalem]

13. Good way to avoid repetitive-stress syndrome...

Especially if you already do a lot of typing...hehe...

[davsand]

15. Sorry to intrude in a "guys" thread, but...

...That thing looks a lot like one of the old paint mixers that they used to use when you got custom colored paint. They'd dump the pigments in and then it'd sit there and SHAKE for as long as you left it turned on.

I guess that new contraption must be an improvement over an old lady with tremors...*

Laura

*apologies to anyone so afflicted. It is a terrible awful thing and if I was a decent human I'd never be able to find any humor in it at all. Mea Culpa.