My picks for THE 50 WORST SINGLES OF THE '80s

[NightTrain]

Ranked in order from very worst (#1) to least worst (#50).

1. ROCK ME AMADEUS, Falco (1986)
2. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME, Charlene (1982)
3. GOD BLESS THE U.S.A, Lee Greenwood (1983)
4. MEDLEY, Stars On 45 (1981)
5. TWIST OF FATE, Olivia Newton-John (1984)
6. XANADU, Olivia Newton-John (1980)
7. YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN', Daryl Hall & John Oates (1980)
8. IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME BY NOW, Simply Red (1989)
9. HANGIN' TOUGH, New Kids On The Block (1989)
10. BUST A MOVE, Young MC (1989)

11. WE ARE THE WORLD, U.S.A. For Africa (1985)
12. BLAME IT ON THE RAIN, Milli Vanilli (1989)
13. I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING (FOR ME), Aretha Franklin & George Michael (1987)
14. IT'S NOW OR NEVER, John "Bo Duke" Schneider (1981)
15. MORNING TRAIN (9 TO 5), Sheena Easton (1981
16. WE BUILT THIS CITY, Starship (1985)
17. EMOTIONAL RESCUE, The Rolling Stones (1980)
18. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR, Dionne Warwick & Friends (1986)
19. RUSSIANS, Sting (1985)
20. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, Bobby McFerrin (1988)

21. HIP TO BE SQUARE, Huey Lewis & The News (1986)
22. ELVIRA, The Oak Ridge Boys (1981)
23. THE FLAME, Cheap Trick (1988)
24. CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING, R.E.O. Speedwagon (1985)
25. MR. ROBOTO, Styx (1983)
26. MANIAC, Michael Sembello (1983)
27. REALLY WANNA KNOW YOU, Gary Wright (1981)
28. ESCALATOR OF LIFE, Robert Hazard (1983)
29. THE REFLEX, Duran Duran (1984)
30. PILOT OF THE AIRWAVES, Charlie Dore (1980)

31. WRACK MY BRAIN, Ringo Starr (1981)
32. GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU, George Harrison (1988)
33. WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE, Billy Joel (1989)
34. IT'S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME, Billy Joel (1980)
35. BABY TALKS DIRTY, The Knack (1980)
36. BABY I LOVE YOUR WAY/FREEBIRD MEDLEY, Will To Power (1988)
37. YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE, Phil Collins (1983)
38. JESSIE'S GIRL, Rick Springfield (1981)
39. AT THIS MOMENT, Villy Vera & The Beaters (1981/1987)
40. HOLD ON TO THE NIGHTS, Richard Marx (1988)

41. HOOKED ON CLASSICS, The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (1981)
42. LOST IN YOUR EYES, Debbie Gibson (1989)
43. THE HEAT IS ON, Glenn Frey (1985)
44. WHEN I'M WITH YOU, Sheriff (1983/1989)
45. WHAT I AM, Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians (1988)
46. EBONY AND IVORY, Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder (1982)
47. THE GIRL IS MINE, Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson (1982)
48. PAC-MAN FEVER, Buckner & Garcia (1982)
49. THE LIVING YEARS, Mike + The Mechanics (1989)
50. FUNKY TOWN, Pseudo Echo (1987)

[shawmut]

1. How the fuck did that Charlene song get on Motown?

edit - and I don't like any of those songs except Emotional Rescue and Xanadu.

[NightTrain]

6. Your guess is as good as mine.

"I've Never Been To Me" first came out in 1977, and not on Motown. (Can't recall the label right now, and I'm not at home to look it up.) It peaked at #97 and quickly dropped off the radar screen.

Why, oh why, did Motown have to reissue that damned thing five years later? And worse yet, why did the record-buying public have to push it all the way to #3? :puke::hurts:

[Bluebear]

24. NT, I do believe Charlene was a Motown artist from the start

A Berry Gordy 'protege'

==

'Charlene is an Artist who has touched the world with her haunting vocal style and quality. ((note: haunting??)) Charlene got her big break when she recorded a song called " Sweet Sad Clown", it was presented to Motown Records founder, Berry Gordy, who signed her within a month. It was then that she worked with many of the people she only dreamed of when she was a young girl , people such as Stevie Wonder, with whom she would later record her second hit single, "Used To Be", Smokey Robinson and Michael Jackson.

Whilst at Motown she met legendary songwriter, Ron Miller, who has penned such songs as "Touch me in the Morning", "For Once in My Life", and "YesterYou, YesterMe, Yesterday". He presented her with a song called "I've Never Been To Me" That song was to become a monster hit for her around the world.'

http://www.artists2events.co.uk/artists/Charlene.html

[tjdee]

2. I've never been to me? OOH Rock me Amadeus....

Rock me Amadeus is so flippin cool, you are so making that up.
I mean, baby baby do, do me rock me, baby baby do, do me rock me....ooh ooh ah...ooh ooh ah....

I've never heard of "I've never been to me"--sounds like someone had some problems. :scared:

[susanna]

25. Consider yourself a very lucky person.

I remember listening to it, thinking, "how the hell can you never have been to...YOU?" Good grief, you're with yourself 24/7. 'Twas whining crap. Count your blessings. ;-)

[CanuckAmok]

3. Do my eyes decieve me?

Not one spot dedicated to Michael Bolton's mangling of any motown classic he mangled?

And what about "Union of the Snake"?

[NightTrain]

4. I think of Bolton more as a '90s atrocity.

[susanna]

27. As do I.

He wasn't really 80s, IIRC.

[CanuckAmok]

5. Oh, and what about "I'm Still Standin'" by Elton John?

[NightTrain]

7. So make your own damned list!

I never said my list was the be-all and end-all of bad '80s music. Christ knows there's enough to go around! :hurts:

[susanna]

22. "The 80s Made It Possible."

That's my "branding" effort. Good enough?

[susanna]

8. Thank a deity (or not) here...

I thought I was the only one who DESPISED "What I Am" by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. I now know I'm not alone. ;-)

on edit, added the band's name to Edie

[CanuckAmok]

11. The only thing worse would be if...

She and Paul Simon starrdd in a movie together.

Yeesh.

[susanna]

28. STOP it right now.

If that happens, I can't imagine the fallout. :-)

[Left Is Write]

15. Oh, no. You are definitely not the only one!

For a long time, I thought *I* was the only one who loathed that song. I hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

[susanna]

21. the fiery passion of a thousand suns?

Dang, it's a million suns for me. ;-)

There is a spoken word tape from the guy from Black Flag - Rollins(?) who first made me think I was okay. He mentioned that he would crawl on broken glass to be allowed to shut Edie Brickell up. I remember my first sense of relief then. When I wasn't in the presence (prison) of folks who ACTUALLY LIKED THAT SONG. Gawd, the memories...

[Left Is Write]

23. We should start a group for this!

:D

[susanna]

30. The "What I Am" Recovery Group...

LOL. That could work! ;-)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

9. Poor Paul McCartney

I think he really lost his way in the 80s. :(

[NightTrain]

14. Actually, McCartney had long-since lost his way by the '80s.

At some point not too, too long after the Beatles broke up, the right side of McCartney's brain took a one-way trip to the planet Twinkie. How sad. :cry:

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

19. Yeah, it was sad

Man... all that genius died.

[ZoCrowes]

54. ROTFL

That may be my quote of the day

hehehe planet twinkie

[Flaxbee]

10. Lordy I hated "What I am" by Edie Brickell..

almost as much as "We Built this City".

Pretentious hideous crap!

[susanna]

35. Well, Left is Write and I are starting

a recovery group for folks who were forced to listen to that song way back when (see up the thread a bit).

Nah, really, I have learned to let go...I no longer want to gouge my eyes out, for example, when I hear it. I learned the ultimate antidote: "turn the freakin' station." ;-)

[Flaxbee]

38. but it's so hard to turn the station when the radio is falling

through 50 feet of air out of my dorm high-rise... I had an almost irresistible urge to throw the radio out the window whenever it came on. My roommate, who was otherwise a sane, rational, very nice woman, LOVED that song, as did almost every other female living in the dorm suite that year. It was torture, I tell you.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. "Elvira"! ARRRGH!

I was living in a small town in Oregon, and as a single person, I ate in the non-chain family restaurant near my apartment when I didn't feel like cooking, usually once or twice a week. (They actually had some pretty good items on their menu, including a great London broil dinner, but I digress...)

However, they installed a karaoke machine, and whenever I went in, the owner always seemed to be singing "Elvira."

Not a happy memory.

[salinen]

13. "Jessie's Girl"

was used beautifully in "Boogie Nights"

[GOPFighter]

16. Oh, my fricken' head!

Picking 50 of the worst songs of the 80s is like picking 50 worst ways to die. How did you ever survive, man?

Mercifully, I had forgotten about most of these atrocities, but now I will lay myself down to get some sleep with these torturous melodies flapping through my head.

I'm gonna' get drunk(er)!

[Left Is Write]

17. I like Jessie's Girl and Emotional Rescue, but

I wouldn't miss anything else on your list if it just went away.

Funny thing, that Emotional Rescue. I'm not a particular Stones fan, and it's not a particularly good song. I just like it.

[Taverner]

18. What???? You dare speak Ill of Huey Lewis?????

First Brian, and now Huey????

[NightTrain]

31. Please tell me you're being ironic!

Huey Lewis was the quintessential corporate rocker: soulless music, cliched lyrics, and a suit that he could wear either on stage or to a power lunch.

Huey Lewis...bleah! :puke:

[shawmut]

20. I did not know that "At This Moment" was originally released in 1981

And I believe Family Ties is to blame for that song, IIRC.



There were a bunch or early 80's songs that made comebacks in the late 80's for some reason. Two more I can think of ...


"Send Me An Angel" by Real Life
"Into The Night" by Benny Mardones (and what was THAT all about anyway? :wtf: was he doing picking up 16 year old girls?)

[NightTrain]

26. Three more early '80s tunes that returned in the late '80s....

RED, RED WINE, UB40 (#34 in 1984, #1 in 1988)
WHAT ABOUT ME, Moving Pictures (#29 in 1982, #46 in 1989)
WHEN I'M WITH YOU, Sheriff (#61 in 1983, #1 in 1989)

At least "Red, Red Wine" was a good record. But neither of those other two deserved a second chart life!

[shawmut]

41. I remember Shadow Stevens doing the top 40 countdown back then

and pointing out how that Sherriff song had the longest held note in the history of Billboard number ones.


I don't think I ever made it far enough into the song to hear it ...

[Systematic Chaos]

29. 28 songs on the list I COMPLETELY disagree with

About 15 I totally agree with, and the other 7 or so I haven't even heard.

A lot of those songs hold too much sentimental value to me for me to dislike even if they are otherwise nothing spectacular.

[NightTrain]

34. I judge records exclusively by how they sound.

I actually liked quite a few of those songs when I was a teen-ager, but 20 or so years later, I can't fucking stand any of them! :grr:

[Left Is Write]

39. The Sheriff song would be one of those for me.

I thought it was soooooooooooo romantic when I was a teenager, but I have absolutely no desire to listen to it now.

[Norbert]

32. I was okay until I hit number 32

I thought George reworked "I got my mind set on you" to perfection. Please, find an Andy Gibb song to put in its place.

[Merlot]

36. George Harrison does not deserve to be on this list!

Hey, it was a fun song.

Everything else, I'd have to agree with. Except Funkytown, it was more strange than awful.

I was lucky. In the 80's I had a room mate who turned me onto punk, and another one who worked for an alternative lable. I'm sure they hated my Huey Lewis albums, but they exposed me into music that I still like today.

[hfojvt]

40. This song is just six words long

This song is just six words long
But it's gonna make money, a whole lotta spendin' money.
The funkytown that I remember was by Lipps Inc.
I happen to like Elvira, but that reminded me, wasn't "Come on Eileen" from the 1980s? Why is it not on this list? Or did I miss it?

[Merlot]

46. Yes, Lipps, Inc, or was it Lipp Sinc?

Hey, look, 6 words:

"Won't you take me to funkytown"

[hfojvt]

49. Actually that may have been from the 1970s

I remember it was around in my freshman year of college (Sep 1980). The one on the list must be a different song.

[coloradodem2005]

33. A few of those songs are ok.

But I could do without a lot of them.

[6000eliot]

37. While I agree with most of your choices

I feel the need to nitpick. 1980 was officially the last year of the '70s.

[Flammable Materials]

42. My Bottom 10

"Walking In LA" - Missing Persons
"We Are The World" - USA For Africa
"Sunglasses At Night" - Corey Hart
"Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You" - Glenn Medeiros
"Supersonic" - JJ Fad
"Cars With The Boom" - L'Trimm
"Babylon And On" - Faster Pussycat
"What About Me" - Moving Pictures
"Abracadabra" - Steve Miller Band
"Friends" - Michael W. Smith

[Proud2BAmurkin]

43. A spot on list except for........BLAME IT ON THE RA-AI-AIN (Milli Vanilli)

Who cares if they sang it?

[Bill Lumbergh]

44. Those are like some of my favorite songs

Especially Jessie's Girl and The Reflex.

[Proud2BAmurkin]

45. Jesse's Girl was redeemed by "Boogie Nights"

nt

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

47. I like several songs on this list

And I "came of age" in the 80s, so believe me, I heard almost all of them a LOT.

[donheld]

48. sorry nighttrain but this is one of the dumbest post i've ever seen

There were probably thousands of songs were released in those 10 years. How the hell you came up with those 50 i'll never know.

Sorry if this is an attack but i've had a crappy weekend. :crazy:

[NightTrain]

52. Sorry. We can't all be perfect like you.

[RadicalMom]

50. I'm not sure if these are seventies or eighties..

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but they make me gag:

My Sharona

Afternoon Delight

[T Town Jake]

51. Damn, that's an accurate list!...

...I thought there might be more than a few that I disagreed with when I first started down the list, but I find nary a one. I agree entirely.

:thumbsup:

[djeseru]

53. Nailed it with #1, but...

...I'm going with "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. I can take a lot, but I effing hated that one...

This group looks like a very bad earworm source list.

"The Reflex"? Guess I'm still the Duranie deep down...

[MrScorpio]

55. I agree with you completely

There's not ONE song on that list that I like, or would ever even own. And this is depote the fact that there are few artists on there that I like.

Good work, 'Train

[newyawker99]

56. "I've Never Been To Me" should be #1!

What a sappy piece of garbage song!


:puke: