And now, a song about eating and its aftereffects....

[TheMightyFavog]

Now I recall when I was young my father was my hero
In my eyes he hung the moon, the other dads were zeros
Peek-a-boo and hide & seek, oh the games we'd play
But there was one game that he loved I quickly learned to hate

I was sitting by the TV, having milk and Zingers
When dad walked in said "Com'ere once, come on boy pull my finger"
I went ahead and did it, I didn't know no better
Now mom tells me that I came to a good twelve hours later

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Billy Beer and hard-boiled eggs at each and every meal
Baked beans and sauerkraut, that man had bowels of steel
Imagine what the price we paid because he ate that crud
We couldn't take him anywhere for fear he'd launch a scud

Now we saw Reba McEntire, the queen of country singers
We all asked for autographs but dad said "Pull my finger"
She went ahead and did it, she didn't know no better
Her makeup melted off her face, I think that dad upset her

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Now dad would say "It wasn't me", I knew he was a liar
He said "There's an elephant under my recliner"
He'd even say "It was the dog", how could he try to blame it
We never even had a dog, if we did we never named it

Now you can call them pooters, barking spiders, squeaky stinkers
And shame on you if you should say "Com'ere once, pull my finger"
Dontcha go and do dat, now don't be getting cocky
You could push too hard and end up with a load down in your jockeys

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad...said..."Pull...my...finger"