A letter from California to BUSH and Co.

[artboy]

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us
non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off
here in California, so we're leaving you.
California will now be its own country. And we're
taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are
not aware, that includes Hawa ii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the
North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will
be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to
us in the new country of California. In fact, God is
so excited about it, she's going to shift
the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday.
Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be
back in their states by then. God is going to give us
the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're
getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.)
But God is letting you have the KKK and country music
(except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be
pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking
of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in
Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have
tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths
for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming
home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and
we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We
would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands,
though. She IS from the south, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with
your own late night TV shows because we get MTV,
Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You
get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News
to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you
should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny
show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we
hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of
mass destruction. Seriously.*?
Soon.

Sincerely,
California

[Dez]

1. Thanks Artboy,

this one's a keeper! sent it off to some of my friends in Ca!