Dear Jesus....

[Liberal Veteran]

...could you hurry up with that rapture thing already. The more zealous of your followers are starting to become obnoxious.

[achtung_circus]

1. And I really want to do that flying thingee. nt

[TaleWgnDg]

2. WWJD? heh. n/t

[Shoeempress]

3. Great can I have the christians jewelry, us athiests need something to do

down here.

[Liberal Veteran]

4. The upshot is that after the rapture, real estate prices in the red states

....should be pretty damn good! Buyer's market baby!

[Shoeempress]

5. Yea but they still for the most part are in the middle of no where and

have few great restaurants.

[Erika]

6. It must suck to be a Republican right now but.....

the Biblical Rapture only calls for 144,000 souls to be lifted up. Most of the Bible thumpers (if not all) are staying here. Maybe Bush will amend the Bible to include more!

The Bible thumpers would believe him.

[Liberal Veteran]

7. Well, truth to tell...there is no such thing as the "biblical rapture".

The rapture was basically created out the vision of some kook in 1830 or so....

[Erika]

8. Yeah, but the Bible says only 144,000 will be lifted up

You're right, the nuance of Rapture isn't Biblical.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. The book of revelations was written to keep Christians upbeat...

...while Romans were percecuting them. Rapture or Armageddon was code for a war that was coming between the christians and the romans. They were trying to give hope, and instead they made a bunch of idiots.
Duckie

[Erika]

10. And Only 144,000 of them will be lifted up

I get rid of a bunch of religious zealots when they start their anti-homosexual crap and then I mention the 144,000. Ask them if they pick only the parts they politically choose to do so. Gets rid of them every time.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

12. Only the Jehovah's witnesses believe that...

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. But please, if it's your will...only rapturize those who wish to become

enraptured. Thank you.

[CornField]

14. Amen

[the Princess]

13. And Please Jeebus

Can I have a big house and a big car and lots of money? I know I aint being rapturized so can I live comfortably here with all the rest of the rabble - PLEEEEEESE!

In the name of Jeebus Chripes - Ahhhhh-men.

[ldf]

15. surely there must be ONE fundagelical

talibornagain christian here in manhattan that will be raptured up and away.

and I HAVE DIBS ON THEIR APARTMENT!!!!!

:bounce:

:party: