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I'm a Freeper!
Fooled ya!! Suckas! Now I kin stopp yusing thet speel chick unce and for awl!
No, I'm not. I'd have to kill myself, if I were. And, as a matter of fact, I strongly suggest that any Freepers who read this do exactly that, right now. Jesus wants you too. SO does Chuck Heston. This public service announcement brought to you by...............................ForrestGump (I'm going for the whole "Denny Crane" thing, but I'm not sure I've captured Shatner's gravitas).
Here's what's really on my mind:
I might leave the country. I did after the 2000 coup, actually, though it was coincidence and not the follow through to an Alec-Baldwin-like threat to leave. Maybe it's time to do it again.
The fact is that I am embroiled in an increasingly messy divorce, out of money, out of work, and tired of it all. This seizure of the government -- re-seizure, I guess -- is the final straw. I wouldn't blame anyone who wants to leave at this point. I always believed that, in America, anything is possible. I still believe that. But being now basically penniless in a boorish, increasingly hateful and undeniably ignorant nation makes me wonder why I should bother going for the brass ring again, at least here. There are other countries, and many have a higher standard of living than the US -- and a more refreshing political atmosphere -- even if they still have their problems and even if they don't offer the unlimited potential that the US does.
So maybe the US got what it deserved...again. Half the US, anyway. And, just like in primary school (about the age at which mental development seems to have stopped in too many Americans), the whole class has to suffer because some portion of it consists of idiots. But I'm thinking that maybe I deserve more. I know that a lot of people are in circumstances far more dire than mine, but mine have been bad enough for long enough and they are my circumstances. I have just the one life to live, unless the Buddhists are right, so why not make it a superlative one? I was off to a good start until the proverbial hit the rotating blades in my private life. Sure, I could stay here and deal with the six-figure debt that my wife saddled me with, fight her in court, sell my few remaining possessions so that all she'd get out of me is "scorched earth," declare bankruptcy to get the collections people and their court threats off my back, and undoubtedly thrive in some kind of great job, even if outside my career track thus far...but, gee, that sounds like hard work, and I'm very, very, very tired.
I have an out. My get-out-of-jail-free card. It's not a magic bullet, but I can escape the reality of Amerika in the early 21st Century. I mean, not that it won't still be there, as the proverbial 800-pound gorilla that affects everyone on the planet, but -- as diverse as the US is and as great as some of its regions are as places to live -- I'm finding myself thinking more and more that there may be better places for me.
I have been pretty private with my personal details here, mainly because a combination of any of a few of them makes me pretty easy to identify, but let me just say that my original nationality is that of a nation very often cited by DUers as the place to which they'd want to escape, in a perfect world. I can work in, and even easily earn citizenship in, another of those hallowed refuge states. Really, I'm set. No visas needed. Still, I hate to go. I chose this country. I'm peeved beyond belief that it's changed into some ugly shadow of what it once was, or what I thought it was (after all, the US has been doing Many Bad Things worldwide since long before I was even born).
I love it here. Like I said, I chose this country...makes me incensed when freeper types dismiss my opinion because I wasn't born here, but was naturalized. Hey, they were just born here -- an accident of birth that they had no control over -- whereas I actively chose to move here as an adult. Maybe that's one reason why I feel so outraged by American ignorance (no matter who's in power -- this has been a systemic, chronic problem) and the squandering of this country's potential to be truly the Greatest Nation on Earth, and not just in the jingoistic knee-jerk "USA! USA! USA!" sense that so repulses me. I know I'm hardly alone in that, and DU is proof that so many native-born Americans feel the same way, but I'm no less an American than any other citizen, both in the eyes of the law (hey, soon I might even be eligible for President, after Arnie's finished his two terms) and in my own eyes.
More than that, though, I'm a citizen of the world. We all are, and we all can be, and failing to recognize that is perhaps the most critical failing of the collective population of these disUnited States. I'm a scientist, by training (shoot, maybe that's why I'm out of work!), but anyone who watched The Lion King knows that everything is connected -- that's true for nature and it's true for our human social constructs, too. Willfully ignoring that fact is becoming the American Way, more and more, and America has already paid dearly for it. And will pay far more dearly for it yet, at this rate. The answer, in 2001, to "why do they hate us?" was obvious...it should never have been needed to be asked and, frankly, anyone who believed the Bush/media lie that it was "because of our freedom" was an idiot.
Just thinking, at this stage, anyway. If I stay, I have the same battle that all DUers will be engaged in and I'll have my personal battles, as well. But I'd be stupid if I didn't start exploring possibilities as I already have. It's not everybody's good fortune to have an out, a way to escape the shattered remnants of a life and the chance to start over again. And, at this point, I really don't care about the morality of skipping out on the financial stuff or anything else -- if I needed to rationalize it, it's all attributable directly to my wife's behavior and I feel no responsibility for it. I'm a victim right now, and I'm not the sort of person who particularly enjoys that role. So take my fate into my own hands and repair the mess that's been wrought here or take my fate into my own hands and remove myself from an arena not of my choosing or making...recent political events make the latter sound a lot more attractive and sustainable. I hate the people in power now. I've always hated bullies. I can forsee the worst of our extrapolations playing out as predicted, and I'm not sure I want to stick around for the game's end.
I've been ready to give up on the American public since the whole Lewinsky blow-up (no, I didn't mean that as a pun), and the selection of Bush II pushed me closer. Even though Kerry may have won if the neocons hadn't cheated again, I think this might do it. How many times do you allow yourself to be kicked in the stomach?
Finally, here I feel I must send out a hearty "F*** YOU" to those who slam DUers who're considering going overseas. Even the more moderate critics, who settle for calling them "cowards," are out of line. Perhaps it's another result of my having an international background and working in more than one other country already, but I refer you back to that "Citizen of the World" bit. To me, the whole concept of nationality seems kind of ludicrous, and more and more so in this age of unprecedented communication, when the borders that really matter are so thoroughly permeable. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of international anarchist, but I just don't see why we need to be so inordinately hung up over nationality. Sure, even with the McDonaldization of the world, our species varies markedly from place to place in culture -- perhaps none more than along religious lines, though -- but to me the concept of moving from country to country is not that huge a deal. I don't mean that logistically, but conceptually. I'd suspect that my European friends feel that even more strongly, even before the development of the EU.
Anyway, if a DUer feels like they have to leave the US, more power to them. And, again, a hearty "F*** YOU" to anyone who labels them coward or worse. Take it from me, it takes a lot to move countries. I imagine I'd get a bit of a free pass from the people here who deserve a hearty "F*** YOU" in this respect because, after all, I'm originally a fur'ner and you could look at it as just me going home (or nearer to home), but the decision's not one to be taken lightly by anyone. And when I say that it takes a lot to leave your home country, I also mean that in terms of logistics...it's not for wusses, no matter what the brigade deserving of a hearty "F*** YOU" might think.
For me, I'm going to see how it plays out. My personal issues, I mean. Forgot to mention that it's also highly possible that I might have strife from the vindictive folks at the IRS, too, again courtesy of my wife. And, lest anyone think that I'm using her as a scapegoat and am terminally incapable of accepting responsibility for my own failings, a hearty "F*** YOU"...my present circumstances are 100% the result of her behavior, my primary failing being that I failed to walk on her a decade ago or even that I met and married her in the first place. Not that this makes much difference, when it comes down to the present situation.
If I stay, I'll still have the same issues facing many DUers...do I want to live in a country like this? If I stay, I may still go. Of course, if I skip out on the whole financial-divorce thing I'll probably be in contempt of court and have to stay away permanently, so it's hardly a decision to be made lightly...there's so much I'd miss about the United States. Still, I have to say that I'm lucky in that I've got a place to go and I can go there with no immigration hassles. I wish that the same were true for everyone here.
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