NEW RULES... Post Em Here!

[arwalden]

[arwalden]

1. No More Threads About Every Cotton-Pickin Stinkin Poll...

... the only poll that matters is the election day poll. Let the professionals on Kerry's team worry about the poll data.

[Endangered Specie]

2. Mods may only lock one thread per hour

:) ;) Every two for BMLH :evilgrin:

[terrya]

3. When the checkout line at the grocery store says 10 items or less..

it is TEN items or less. Not 11. Not 12. Not 20. TEN ITEMS OR LESS. I have stood behind people who can't understand this...which is weird, since it's posted...

[lpbk2713]

20. And no writing checks!

It's called the EXPRESS LANE for a reason dammit.

[arwalden]

23. No Fidgeting Around For The Exact Change...

turning every pocket inside out... or digging in the bottom of the purse.

[BoX o BooX]

33. Ten Items Or Less is a meaningless statement.

What they MEAN is "Ten Items Or FEWER."

If I have to explain it to you, then you will probably argue anyway.

[realFedUp]

4. New rule: Men who don't want children should get vasectomies

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. AMEN!!

[MissMillie]

30. This is a marvelous rule!

The procedure is so simple, yet a guy would much rather his partner be put under general anesthesia.

[Richardo]

5. No posts directing DU members to tune in to media without any details...

For example:

"Watch CNN now!! n/t"

or

"Randi killed that guy!! eom"

[arwalden]

10. Or... I Can't Believe What Judy Woodruff Just Said!

without so much as even TELLING us what it was she said. Do they think I can go BACK IN TIME and tune in moments ago, so that I can hear it and share the experience?? :eyes:

-- Allen

[bearfan454]

6. New rule from Bill Maher

Stop saying we've turned the corner. If we've truly turned the corner, why is bush still here ?

[JohnKleeb]

7. simple

no speedos.

[ThomCat]

8. I LIKE guys in speedos.

:P

um... as long as they're guys who should be allowed to wear speedos. Some guys should be banned for life.

[JohnKleeb]

9. and I am terrified of speedos

:scared:

[pagerbear]

34. Which guys should be allowed to wear them?

[MisterP]

11. only one OS topic per thread:

no proselytizing! platforms are not religions!

[qnr]

31. Fine. But if you have a problem, give some OS info.

Even on Windows, different versions require different responses.

[MisterP]

32. that's not what I mean: a lot of users think they have to advise everyone

to get THEIR OS whenever someone starts a thread relating to an "opposing" OS.

[qnr]

36. Yes, I knew what you meant :) was just adding my

own rule too heheh

[OneBlueSky]

12. no more allowing neocon idiots to take over the country . . . n/t

.

[trogdor]

14. A yellow ribbon magnet is not a Jesus fish.

Have you noticed that more and more of those yellow ribbon "Support Our Troops" magnets have wound up sideways on people's cars, so that it resembles a Jesus fish?

I told you all weeks ago about the yellow ribbon magnets and how it's a stand-in for the flag stickers that make SUV drivers look like such hypocrites a couple years ago. Now the religious right have made this painfully obvious.

There's a saying that anyone who has to tell you he or she is a Christian/conservative/liberal/etc. probably isn't. I already know Jesus supports our troops, but I'm not too sure he would approve of the war they're being asked to fight. To say that's a stretch would be an understatement.

[arwalden]

15. I've Seen That Before... But I Didn't Make The Connection!!

:puke:

[sbj405]

16. Their sideways b/c their humongous - SUV sized.

and don't fit on a normal car. Leads me to a question, in their minds how many ribbons are enough? My neighbor (BC sign out front) has 5 ribbons (and a few flags) spread over 1 large SUV and 1 super duty pickup. Apparently, he must be really insecure with his patriotism ;-)

[trogdor]

17. They're sideways even on SUV's and minivans around here.

For every vehicle with "not enough metal" there are ten whose owners are doing it on purpose.

[TheMightyFavog]

18. Henceforth, everyoine will be required to obtain a parenting license

before having kids.

[underpants]

19. No remembering stuff after a news cycle is over

Now, would you like some Kool-Aid?

[CO Liberal]

21. Keep Your Religion In Your Church

And out of your DU posts.

[arwalden]

24. :-)

[Beware the Beast Man]

26. Praise Jesus!

I'm doing this to spite you :evilgrin:

[CO Liberal]

27. People Need to Realize Something

I know that some people find comfort in their religion. However, others (myself included) believe that religion is the source of their misery.

I feel it's best in a venue like this to keep your religious beliefs to yourself.

[XNASA]

22. Some GD2004 posts may cause drowsiness....

If affected do not operate heavy machinery or drive a vehicle.

(Guess that's more of a warning than a rule.)

[Fleshdancer]

25. My new rule for Austinites....

Unless your first name is Lance and your last name is Armstrong, you are no longer allowed to wear a whannabe yellow jersey and bike down 360. It does NOT make you cool.

(fellow Austinites will know what I'm talking about)

[NoPasaran]

AAAAAAA-men!

[Texasgal]

28. Be nice to DU newbies

We are people too! :pals:

[matcom]

29. Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis

;)

[Cerridwen]

35. Turn signal THEN brake -eom

[Cerridwen]

37. Serious suggestions - in final days leading to election

when distruptors and freeps start coming out from under their rocks

1 - A higher number of posts required of new members before they can start a thread - something around a hundred might weed out some of the dilettante types.

2 - recruit more mods for the final days leading up to the election to help weed out above mentioned freeps and disruptors. Some of us may have time to help in that manner that aren't able to help "the cause" in other ways.

Edited to add: I would volunteer as a mod; I prefer to offer "fixes" with my suggestions when possible.

[NoPasaran]

38. If your children can't behave

Don't bring 'em to the freaking restaurant!

[UrbScotty]

39. Any odd references to Uranus must be made by ih8thegop.

Have a problem with that?

[maveric]

40. No chit-chatting with the bank teller about kids or clothing while the

line is still long and people have been standing in it for 25 minutes!
This makes me want to morph into a cyborg killer with a death ray.